The Aegis had been kind enough to respond to their plea for help, but being away from her children only increased the ache in Bellamy’s heart. She was given a room, made comfortable, with the promise of a healer visiting after she had some rest to check on her. Hours passed as she lay in that room, away from the door, though she had become aware of the occasional pawsteps that seemed to pause outside, as if someone had been kind enough to check on her. The kindness was strange to the woman, and yet, it felt familiar. Her mind shifted, thinking how happy Gavroche might have been in such a place. He had loved helping others, though he had often told her he wished they weren’t hurt at all. It would put him out of a profession, but he’d rather lack purpose than see any wolf in pain.
The tears came as she thought of her mate. Remembered the night that they had met, both of them to be executed the following day. He’d been so small, so frightened, and yet… once he had noticed that she had sustained injuries in being captured he was more focused on tending to her despite his terror. When she killed his relative, and felled the Kedieo Empire after slaying not one, but two of their tyrant leaders, he had stuck with her to again tend to her injuries. She had thought he might leave after that, a healer doing his duties. But he didn’t. He seemed to gravitate toward her despite her rough personality, reaching out to that lonely wolf she had been.
And the longer he tried, the more Bellamy had softened up, letting him in close, until she realized that she had fallen for him. She had always seen herself as a weapon by the Empire, his family, and yet Gavroche saw something else. He saw a protective and strong woman within that shell, a wolf who wanted to correct the injustices of the world and never see anyone live as she had. He saw her positives, and with his love Bellamy continued to bloom. She had become a mother, a Leader of a pack. But now… he had been stolen from her. An injustice that, even after she and some of her packmates took care of his murderer was not corrected. Her heart was shattered.
The idea of life without Gavroche and his light terrified her. The knowledge that even in death she would never reunite with him cut deeper than any wound she had ever experienced. She was struggling, a shell of herself and what she had fought for. She knew Gavroche would have hated to see her this way. She longed for his comfort, to hear his voice. As she lay in the guest room that night in Hearthstone Bellamy mourned. The tears fell, staining her cheeks just as they had when she had laid atop Gavroche’s grave. But this time there was no rain to wash them away. She was warm, safe… and that both helped and made her cry more. At some point her sobs brought her to sleep, and, for the first time since Gavroche’s death, she did not have a nightmare when she closed her eyes.
She dreamed of her mate, whole, but he was no longer alive. Stars glistened in his fur, she could see through him, a vision perhaps? A memory? Bellamy called to him as he made his way into the sky. She could see him hesitate and she froze. The tears fell in both her dreams and continued to roll down her cheeks in the waking world. The stars shined brighter, almost as if beckoning her love… As the dreams continued Bellamy would toss and turn, whines and whimpers slipping past her lips as she struggled within herself.
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Bellamy could feel her heart race in her chest. No, she couldn’t lose him. As the tiny winged wolf continued to climb into the sky Bellamy would break into a run across the grounds of the Falls, chasing the direction he ran, never able to reach him. “Celeste please!” Her voice broke in a wail, eyes on his figure as he grew smaller in the sky. She called for the Goddess, the mother of all wolves. If anyone would understand her pain it would be her. She felt like she was lagging behind as cried to the heavens. “Don’t take him!” It was starting to hurt to run. Her lungs and sides ached, but still, Bellamy kept trying to follow where she could not go. She tried, Divinities above she tried. She watched him become a star, his bright light joining the others above her.
She came to a stop, jaw dropped in disbelief as she stared at the sky. Her body fell to the earth. She felt cold… so cold… She curled into a ball in the grass, sobs shaking her form. She’d lost him twice. To his murderer… to the stars… the world was cruel. “...please… take me…” Her words were a whimper. “His children… take me… don’t take him… Divinities please…” She continued to beg. She would take his place without hesitation. He didn’t deserve this… if anyone did, it was her. She had been the one to take the lives of others… to be a force of destruction. He had been the one to mend those hurts… it… it wasn’t right. There was no justice…!
Then she felt something land on her. Bellamy would jolt up in response, looking at it. A feather, pure white and soft to the touch had landed upon her coat. It was warm, impossibly warm for such a small thing… Bellamy looked up to the sky, seeing a new star next to Gavroche’s own. The brightest star in the sky seemed to have shifted to stand beside Gavroche’s own. Bellamy whimpered. The feather… the Goddess was listening.
“Please don’t take him, Celeste… I would gladly go in his place… I’d die a thousand life times over if it meant that he didn’t have to go… please…” The rest of the sky seemed to grow dark, leaving just the stars of Gavroche and the Goddess in her vision. Gavroche’s star flickered… and then fell back toward the earth in the direction of the cave they called home….
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Bellamy jolted awake. Morning had come, the strange dream she’d still fresh in her mind. She rose, stumbling from the bed, stumbling to the hallway… she needed… She needed to get up. The woman didn’t realize she had been crying out mere moments before waking up. She slipped into the hall, stumbled again, and came to rest against a wall as she caught her breath.
What… was that? A vision from the Goddess? A sign of her mercy? Bellamy didn’t understand. She furrowed her brow, trying to make sense of the dream she’d had.
"Speech," 'Thought.'
Berserker
