ardent

A pain that runs deep

Delphi



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10-10-2023, 11:00 AM
Strai ran to the breathtaking drop that had reminded him of home. His aching body felt slow and clumsy, but the worst of it was the pain in his heart. It felt like poison, and every beat of his heart propelled it. It was the worst fight he and Delphi had had since becoming friends, and that was saying something. They'd had some pretty impressive rows since then. Vidarr had found him and taken back the knife. Had she told him? She said she wouldn't, but her word seemed a shaky thing now.


He sat down, then hunched over. Trying to blend with the foliage around him. He felt like he had lost something important  and he wasn't entirely sure he was referring to the knife. How had he let her get this close? Was this the weakness his mother had warned him about. She had been right, about everything. He had made a terrible mistake.
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-10-2023, 11:18 AM


Pain pierced Delphi's own heart as she guiltily found her way away from Vidarr's den. Having stayed behind after Strai left and Vidarr showed up, Delphi was conflicted. When Vidarr had questioned why she was there, she had wanted to tell him about Strai taking the dagger back, but instead... had told him the truth. The truth on why she had been there. Of course, Vidarr knew better. Though he believed her, he could also smell the boy on her and in the den as well. After Delphi refused to say anything about what had transpired there in the doorway, she curled up on his bed with her chin on her paws and moped as Vidarr left into the night.

Why had she let the boy get so close to her? Why did it feel so painful to allow him to get in trouble? To be mad at her? Sure, they'd had their fights and arguments and scuffles but this felt different. Musing on her bad feelings and scorning herself for letting the boy be her friend, she was surprised when Vidarr returned quicker than expected. In his jaw, she saw the glint of the knife shine from the stream of moonlight that came through the window. Delphi's eyes widen, watering slightly, as she watches Vidarr put it back where it belonged. He'll blame me for that... Delphi's thought propels her forward, off the bed and bursting through the door. Vidarr's look of confusion is quickly forgotten as she puts her nose to the wind.

She had to find Strai.

Following his scent was difficult on the mountain. With more rock than dirt, scent didn't linger as often. But it was there. Faint but there. Her paws ate up the ground as she hurried. Not that she wanted to make amends with the boy. He was the thief after all. He was the one always beating her up. Conflict still warred on her mind as she made it around the bend and finally to the drop. Skidding to a halt, she glanced around. "Thrall?" Her brow furrows as she finally spots him hunched over in the foliage. "Thr-Strai," Delphi's voice softens as she fights with herself on whether she should be mad or sad.

"Delphi" & "Strai"




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10-10-2023, 11:37 AM
He could see out across the mountain drop here. His parents had liked high places to call home as well. He had spent much time on mountains. He wasn't sure why he had come here. Letting homesickness blend in with everything else he was feeling. He wasn't sure entirely what he missed. Perhaps the structure. The predictability. His parents had hardly been pillars of comfort. But at home, there had been no heartbreak. He knew what to expect from the wolves around him.


His colours didn't make for an easy blend into foliage. He should have picked somewhere with more snow. He wasn't sure why she came looking for him, but the sound of her voice had him slinking lower. It was no help, her tone changed, indicating she had found him. He raised his muzzle towards her, baring his teeth. "Come to inflict more damage?" He growled at her, his tone low and gravelly.
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-10-2023, 11:42 AM


His reaction is expected. The teeth are shown in her direction. That gravelly voice she is all too accustomed to. Her own ears fall backward as she steps forward, her chin lowered and her own lips pulling back to sneer in his direction. "Don't like how it feels, do ya?" Delphi practically hisses at him as she comes to a stop a few feet from his hiding location. Feelings of conflict, pain, and guilt, all bubble up in her. She wants to be mad at him but also wants him to forgive her. She should have just let him take the knife... He could suffer the consequences on his own, but Vidarr... she couldn't let the Konungr down either.

"You know I had to," Delphi finally spits out after a few moments of silence. Her face scrunches up as she looks away from Strai. She lifts her head and looks out across the expanse of the Polar Sound. It really was beautiful here, too bad they weren't enjoying it.

"Delphi" & "Strai"




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10-10-2023, 12:35 PM
He couldn't deny an urge to wipe that expression off her face. Had to, did she? "Your precious Vidarr stole from me. He stole ME." He snarled. He had believed in the right of might all his life. It was Delphi and Vidarrs own fault. They had let doubt creep in. They spoke of how they didn't steal from their own. How Thralls were treated better. But they were hypocrites, and he wanted to spit their words back at them. They had given him this doubt, this pain. He knew there was more to it than that. He had acted impulsively and foolishly, but it was easier to blame her then admit to it. 


When he spoke again, his voice was softer. "I've betrayed all of her teachings. It's all I have left of her. I…" he thought she would have his back. He had started to believe in something building between them. How is it that this hurt more than his parents death. Of losing the knife. He was so MAD at her.
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-10-2023, 01:15 PM
Strai's words hurt. The way he growled at her stung until she was snarling. The sound built up in her throat until her fur was standing on end. "He SAVED me!" Delphi screeched back at him. Impulsively, angrily, hurt. Damaged. They both were. For different reasons. She wished he would understand why she had chosen Vidarr's side. As much as she wanted to choose his side, she couldn't betray Vidarr for the Thrall. That would be... would be like if he had chosen her over his mom... Would that make him understand?

"I get it, okay! I-," Delphi's voice hesitates as she stares blurrily at the landscape. Fuck. How was she going to apologize? She was just as bad as him, if not worse. A growl escapes her as she stomps her foot onto the ground. "I'm sorry! I-" She what?! She liked him? She hated that she was torn between him and Vidarr? Between him and family? Between wanting to be there for him when his mother wasn't? "Why do you make everything so CONFUSING!" Delphi shrieks as she whips her face toward him, lips pulled up into a twisted expression of hurt and anger.

"I have to show Vidarr that I'm GOOD ENOUGH, but you make me want to say fuck it! Like I don't need anyone's approval except for yours!" Delphi's voice trembles as it raises in volume. She breathes heavily as she takes a few more steps closer to him, her head lowering in the process. "What am I supposed to do when I'm stuck between... you and what I thought I should do?" Delphi lowers her tone to a whisper, her posture relaxing as she lets her gaze fall to her paws.



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10-10-2023, 01:22 PM (This post was last modified: 10-10-2023, 01:24 PM by Astraios. Edited 1 time in total.)
What had she been going to say? There was something there, something unspoken. He shot to his paws, pulling himself free of his stupid hiding spot. It hadn't even lasted a second under her inspection. "Why do you!?" He yelled back at her. "Everything was so SIMPLE before you came along!" He raised his voice, trying to out-yell her. As if just by being louder, he would be more right. What was she on about? Needing Vidarra approval. It was very clear the leader had a soft spot for her. What exactly did she think she had to prove? 


Her voice dropped, and some of his defensive posture relaxed too. Not much, just responding to her on a subliminal level. "I just wanted one person on my side. I wanted to mean something to…" he broke off, swallowing his words as he glared at her. Not that her glare was doing much while she was staring at her paws.
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-10-2023, 01:43 PM
Before she came along. Ouch. That one hurt. Her face screws up even more as he raises his tone. Why did he have to be louder than her? He was bigger so obviously he could be louder. Ugh! Why was he so infuriating?!

Continuing to look at her paws, she could feel his glare burning into her skin. Even as his words hit the air, she felt her heart stop and her breath catch in her lungs. Did he not realize that she was on his side? That if Vidarr had caught him in the den, his punishment would have been much worse? That… she would have stood up for him? That unspoken thing clenches her heart as she fights back tears. Why was she so WEAK?!

“I…I am on your side,” Delphi whispers as she continues to stare at her paws. She was ignoring the last thing he said. He wanted to mean something to who? Her? Why was she so important? She was a nobody! A small tiny little runt that was WEAK and stupid and everything that everyone wanted to NOT be. “Why…Why is it that you suddenly come into my life like a tornado and screw up everything in my head?! Why are you so BLIND to see that you DO mean something to ME!” Her voice begins to rise again in volume as she can’t fight back the words anymore.

“We’re friends, Strai! You’re…you’re my best friend! I want… I wanna spend every stupid day with your stupid face! I… UGH!” Delphi finally looks up with those teary eyes to his glaring stupid face. Why was it that every time she looked at him, her stomach got all weird feeling?



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10-10-2023, 02:16 PM
He wanted to yell at her some more, to tell her that he would have picked her over his mum, that he wanted to trust her. But now there would always be that doubt, that anything he told her would find its way back to Vidarr. It was a crack in their friendship that he didn't know how to fix. But instead, he bit his tongue and listened to her. 


"I want to spend time with you, too Delphi. I don't care about anyone else. You're the only person in the world that matters to me, and that… scares me." He met her tear streaked eyes, and sighed. He was still mad at her, but he didn't want to keep fighting with her. "You don't mean something to me, you mean everything to me." There, he said. The root of the issue. There would always be other people that came first for her. Vidarr. There wasn't anyone else for him.
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-10-2023, 04:06 PM
His words send a shock of surprise through her. The tears dry up as her eyes widen. She was the only one that mattered? She meant everything? But… how…? She always had to share. She wasn’t everything to just someone. She had siblings.. Parents.. Family.. But Strai… Could he be everything to her?

Blinking slowly, Delphi stands there in silence. How was she supposed to respond? Did he expect her to feel the same? To drop everyone for him? He had to understand that that wasn’t possible. That she would do everything she could to be everything for him, but she wouldn’t give up her family. Couldn’t give them up.

Now she was stuck. What did this mean for them? Her brow furrows as she continues to stand in silence. What was she supposed to say? They were too young to run away together. Besides she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t leave her family… “I-“ Delphi starts and then stops, her weight shifting slightly as she fights to find the best words possible.

“I want to be your everything,” her voice is quiet, small, and honest. Finally the feelings that had been buzzing around in her that she couldn’t put words to were out in the open. “I’m scared too,” she steps forward, tilting her chin up so that she can look at his face softly. “I don’t really understand why I feel this way but I wanna spend all of my time with you,” Delphi whispers these last words as she takes another step closer to close the distance between them.



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10-10-2023, 04:15 PM
He hated the vulnerability he felt the moment the words left his lips. The silence that followed was painful, and a part of him wanted to snatch the words out of the air. Take them back, and go back to yelling at her. If he yelled enough, she'd probably forget he'd ever said them. 


The silence stretched on a little longer, and he shuffled his paws. His cheeks burned. A fool, that's what he was. A fool. He'd exposed a huge vulnerability to her, and he couldn't take it back. She started to speak, and his eyes made their way back to her. Wondering what was going on behind her eyes. 


He knew her family was important to her, that Vidarr came first. He wasn't expecting that to change, but he wanted something from her in exchange for the words, the vulnerability. Hearing she was scared as well was actually a relief. She stepped closer to him, and he took a step too. Closing the last bit of distance. He looked down at her. At the annoying, exasperating, foolish, wonderful wolf in front of him. "It's enough." He'd take it. She might be foolish, but he was an even bigger idiot.
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-18-2023, 11:48 AM

His silence is agonizing. Why wouldn't the idiot say something? Her eyes pierce him as they narrow slightly, growing harder before they begin to sting with the threat of tears. Damn, she really did cry a lot, didn't she? She supposed it was because all she ever felt were big emotions. Emotions that made her heart race, her chest fill with concrete. A stifling burst of emotions that made her head spin. It all felt so confusing when she felt these emotions - especially when she stood there staring at Strai. Why did he make her feel this way? The same way she felt when she curled up with her mamas when they were sad. There is an ache there, lingering at the back of her chest, forcing her belly to twist and turn. Dammit.

When Strai closes the distance between them, tilting his chin down to stare at her, she feels her lip tremble. A growl resonates in her, her ears fall back, and her eyes tingle and glisten. "Enough?" Her voice is strained, a mere whisper as she breathes the word. "Is that all I am to you?" Delphi wasn't quite sure why she was upset. They had both spilled feelings, opened themselves up, portraying their most vulnerable sides, and here she was. Mad at him. Angry that he could only muster up two fucking words. She wants to hit him, bite him, smack, something to make the emotions that are threatening to burst subside.

"So what do we do now?" Delphi finally asks after a few tense seconds of consideration. Violence wouldn't solve their problem. She wasn't exactly sure what would. Maybe growing up and maturing a bit would be the solution, but that's not an option in her mind yet. Letting out a sigh, Delphi leans forward, tucking her chin, and places the top of her head on his chest. Closing her eyes, she leans into the warmth of her body as she lets the silence fall back down around them.




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10-20-2023, 08:20 PM

Strai blinked at her, shocked and surprised. His eyes narrowed as he started to glare at her. Why was she turning this into an argument? “I told you that you were everything. What else do you want me to say?” He asked, truly perplexed. She hadn’t exactly told him the same, she had said she wanted to be, not that she was. But he would take it. Because he didn’t want to do any of this without her now, and that was terrifying.

When she tucked herself against him, he felt that sudden anger began to ebb and leave him. He rested his head on top of hers, breathing in the scent of her. “I don’t know. Can we be more than friends?” he whispered to her, his heart rate kicking up in his chest.


Delphi & Strai
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-21-2023, 02:33 PM

“I don’t know. Can we be more than friends?”

Her body freezes. Muscles tensing, her breaths stops, everything tightens. Looking down at the ground from where her face is nestled into his chest, she blinks slowly. Had she heard him correctly? Not like she didn't know the concept of being more than friends, but it hadn't... It hadn't been idea that had crossed her mind yet. Being more than friends was meant for like... Her moms and dad or Tenshi and Vidarr. But her? With Strai? Is that... Is that what he wanted?

Silence stretches between them. She feels her mouth go dry and a lump form in her throat. She wants to scream yes so badly. To tell him that she wants nothing more than to be his everything for the rest of forever. But Delph doesn't know what's stopping her. Fear? Issues? Trauma? Something. Something is stopping her from telling him exactly what he wants to hear.

Instead, she presses the top of her head harder into his chest and digs her paws into his fur. Delphi inhales Strai's scent deeply as she forces her eyes shut. More. Than. Friends. It was a concept that she didn't know what to do with. Dammit. What would her parents think? What would Vidarr think? Bylgja? Her siblings? Honestly, it didn't matter what they thought though because she knew they would want her to be happy. Enough had gone on in her life that happiness was all that mattered. Exactly.

"I-I think so," Delphi mumbles into the fur on his chest, a muffled bunch of words that she wasn't sure he could understand.

Delphi && Strai



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10-21-2023, 02:51 PM
His heart felt like a paw was squeezing it. It was hammering so hard in his chest, making it impossible to ignore. He didn't know he could be so afraid, but he was in that moment. He was giving something of himself to Delphi, something he never thought he'd give. He hadn't known what it would feel like to like someone as much as he did her. To want to be a part of her life, of everything she did. To protect her, to put his life in danger for her. He would throw all of his beliefs out the window, for just a few minutes in her arms.


The silence stretched on between them, and he knew she didn't feel the same way. She obviously considered him a friend, but nothing more. She must be trying to find the words to let him down gently. His heart hurt, he wished it would slow down. He was feeling light headed. 


She dug further into him, and he held her closer feeling the beat of his heart against her skin. She spoke but whatever she said was drowned out by the thundering in his ears, and muffled against his coat. "Delphi? I-I didn't catch that"
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-21-2023, 03:05 PM

He hadn't heard what she said. Dammit. No, it would be okay. She was feeling more confident now that she had already said it once. Inhaling deeply, she pulls away and tilts her chin up to rest it on his chest so she's looking at him finally. As she looks at him, she smiles. His heart is hammering in his chest and so is her's. "I-," Delphi pauses, staring into his eyes. Dang, they really were a pretty shade of lavender. Wait, she's supposed to be repeating what she said. "I think that can happen," her voice is quiet and slightly teasing but sure as she looks back up at him. "You really want to be more than friends?" She asks, unable to hide the smile as her cheeks burst with heat. Barely about to hear but so thankful to be close to him, she tries to dig in closer to his chest so there's no space between them.

Delphi && Strai



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10-21-2023, 03:48 PM
When she raised her head, he let out a slow breath, trying to calm his erratic pulse. He looked down at her duel toned eyes, and knew why he was putting his heart on the line. She had changed him into something that would be unrecognisable to his lost family, but he couldn't find it in him to care anymore. She was worth it. 


When she didn't disagree, he felt a smile start to form on his own muzzle. "I don't know what that would entail, but whatever it is, I want to build it with you, Delphi." He told her. There had been plenty of times while knowing her that he had hated her, wanted to hurt her. He had also wanted to help her and work with her. Honestly, he was crazy about her. He was probably just crazy in general.
[Image: Au67KGz.png]



You're not feeling so well...

Delphi

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10-23-2023, 12:13 PM

Crazy in general was an understatement! They were both crazy in their own ways and for each other. Delphi couldn't explain why she felt this natural pull toward Strai, but she wasn't going to deny it anymore either. Instead, she was going to embrace it. The way his fur felt against her cheek, was so soft and fluffy. How she fit so well into the curve of his legs as if she was meant to be there. Letting out a sigh, she smiles and gives her head a soft shake. "Sounds like a good plan to me," Delphi murmurs quietly as she closes her eyes and enjoys snuggling up to Strai. "I won't make any promises, but I'm sure it'll be a crazy ride," she teases before reaching up to nip at the bottom of his chin.

"Wanna go cause some trouble?" Her eyes sparkle with mischief as she pulls away from Strai and straightens herself up into standing. "I'm sure we can go torment one of my sisters or something," Delphi mentions before turning to head back toward Fenrir's Maw. As she makes her way, she stops after a few feet and looks back at Strai. "You coming?"

-exit-

Delphi && Strai