Erani

She meandered through the territory, a small frown on her face, tail flicking slightly in thought. The subject of her thoughts was Imena, and the growing bitterness she could sense in the Theta Primary. If this got any worse, Erani was going to have to demote her to an Eta, and she didn?t much want to do that. That Imena seemed to have solely given up on Cael was disappointing. The snowy Alpha could feel that Cael wasn?t gone for good. It was the odd connection of family bonds. She knew, however, when Nova had never come back, that he would never be back. It was like losing a part of her. It was a pain that Cairo had soothed in a dream, and she?d dealt with it and pushed on. How Imena got the notion that she wasn?t being treated like an adult was anyone?s guess, but her behavior needed to stop. A Theta needed to interact with all the pack members, instead of isolating herself and slipping away from pack meetings as soon as she could. These facts hadn?t been lost on Erani. She knew what it was. Surreal had said that not even Cael had come to Imena and Cael?s wedding on the beach. Chrysanthe and a sparse few others had arrived. And for some reason, Imena wasn?t pushing past the pain of a missing mate and working with the rest of the pack. With a flick of her tail, Erani turned, uttering a sharp howl summoning the Theta Primary, the song indicating where Erani would speak to her. Turning, she padded into the ravine to her den, the glitter of light off of the veins of marble and gold in the black stone sparkling over her fur. The open area was quiet, no pups rolling and playing about, Surreal out patrolling with Alsander and Cormalin as backup and escorts. Padding up the three natural stone steps, the black stone also laced with the marble and gold veins, she slid into the shadows of the den, settling against the back to wait for her Niece in law.

Imena

She wasn't planning to leave the confines of her den at all today. Instead she laid in the back dark corner with her head on her paws and eyes staring out at the entrance. It was like she was waiting for something or more of someone. The pain of losing Cael was too much to bare, to much to comprehend. She was nothing without her Sun. Who would light up her world if he was gone? Part of her said to keep waiting, he'll be back. The other said it was over, it had been far to long. He had seen something to push away from her. To leave without a word to her. He hadn't even gone to her wedding. What did that all mean? Was she undesirable? The loss of her love was making her push away from others. At first she did not want them to see her suffering, that she'd be ok. And then she just couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand seeing others so happy, to move on in their lives, to find love and let it blossom. Then she just felt like she couldn't let anyone in. She would only get hurt if she did. It was like living back in her birth pack. The isolation, the pain, the playing of her heart. What made matters worse was that every time she met someone either stranger or pack mate, Erani always appeared. The older woman was always pointing something out that she did wrong one way or another. She was starting to think Erani didn't trust her. So her last comment to the alpha had been muttered out in slight anger and annoyance. She felt worthless once more. Even he pack didn't ask for her, they asked for Erani or one of the other healers. It was like she didn't exsist in the pack. Maybe she didn't, not without Cael. Her eyes would blink slowly from the starring state she had been in as a howl whispered into the cave. Ears twitched at it's meaning. Well speak of the devil, it was Erani asking for her. For a few moments she laid there before she got up with a grunt. Shaking out her fur she stepped out into the sunlight, eyes squinting. With a sigh and deep breaths she put up her wall of defense before taking off at a loop to the alpha's den. It wouldn't take too long but she was sure the slow start would delay her some. No mater, Imena could say she was in the far part of the territory. The path way to Erani's den came into view and she slowed as she made her way. The beauty of it seemed lost on her either from seeing it before or the fact that she seemed to just not feel anymore was unknown. She gave a soft bark in greeting as she neared the den and paused outside. Her sky blue eyes held nothing, no emotion, no life in them. Imena could only imagine what this would be about.

Erani

It took a while before Erani finally heard movement beyond the mouth of the cave, and Imena?s soft bark reached her ears. ?Come in, no need for you to stand outside in the heat, Imena.? Her voice wasn?t angry, held none of the glacial, brutal fury that would elicit a reason for caution. Gentle warmth, as always. She waited until Imena had entered before approaching and nuzzling her niece?s shoulder. Stepping back, she gazed deep into the troubled sky blue eyes, with the deep piercing stare that had been known to reduce adult males (her brother in particular) to puddles of complacent fur. ?A Theta Primary walks among her pack. She doesn?t hide in her den from heart pain, she stands and faces it down. Now tell me, hold nothing back, what is ailing you, and why you have given up on my nephew so easily.? The words were firm now, brooking no dodging of the command, no dancing around the subject. Patiently, she would wait.

Imena

She would slowly enter the cave with a muffled sigh. As Erani greeted her with a nuzzle she couldn't help but lean into the touch of tender love given by the only Mother figure she had ever had. But the touch was brief and she collected herself quickly before Erani's eyes could stare too deep into her soul. She was no fool to think she could hide from Erani, no fool to think that though others might not see it, Erani saw her suffering. As those first words were spoken Imena could not help the surge of defensiveness roll up in her. If the pack needed her they could come to her! No they seemed to want everyone but her. Only one other wolf had sat somewhat near her that the meeting. Her head turned away and chin tucked down to her chest, trying to cool her bitter anger. As Erani waited for a reply Imena turned away to pace about as if trying to courage the words and feeling she had out into words for Erani to understand. Cael, oh her sweet sweet Cael, her sun and life. He left without a word...he didn't even go to the wedding. Last I spoke to him was about having pups. Erani did I do something wrong? Did he see something he did not want in me? Am I unworthy like I had been in my birth pack?! Her voice raised, tears streamed down her face and body sagged down the cave floor. She looked up to Erani as if hoping she had all the answers. He was my sun, I am a moon stuck, never raising or falling without my partner. She whispered. Her head laid down on her paws, eyes staring off as tears continued to fall. The pack..they don't need me. They want Friction or one of the other Etas. Did you not see that no one even sat near me at the meeting but one new Nomad? The older memebers of the pack down even speak to me..i feel like I let them down far before I could even start. She sighed heavily. Her emotions raw and sore, her body twitching. She needed Cael. It was only he who had really brought her out of her shell and made her who Erani had seen. But without him she was slipping back into her old self.

Erani

Erani settles upon her haunches as she waited for the flood of words she knew would come. And they finally did. She listened quietly as Imena?s voice raised, even as the dark Theta sank to the ground, tears streaming. ?Cael isn?t gone forever. Listen to your heart, and listen hard. Does it tell you he?s gone for good? Or is that just your mind speaking.? Imena continued on, and Erani?s lips tightened. When she finished, Erani snapped out a glacial command. ?Attend! And pay attention to me. They do not ask for you because you have hardly walked among them at all. Yes, you have failed them, because you haven?t interacted with them at all. You are failing them by letting your old pack get in the way of moving forward in this one. You have walls up that say ?Do not speak to me.?. A healer must have their heart open. That is what makes a patient feel safe. If the healer must guard their emotions, how can an injured, sick wolf trust them?? Her sharp voice smoothed, lowering to a gentle whisper. ?You are worthy of the place I have set you upon. If you were not, I would never had set you as a Theta, much less Theta Primary. You are a healer of Valhalla. Remember what I told you when you came here? At the first Healer meeting you attended?? She rose, tail flicking as she studied the wounds on Imena?s forelegs. Self given wounds. ?If this continues, I will have to replace you, and I do not want to do that. You are my niece, but I am also the Alpha Primary of the pack, and their welfare is also important.? She looked down at her niece, eyes warming slowly from the cold anger. ?You have no idea how much it angers me to see those I love being hurt, or hurting themselves. When Cael returns, You will have your Mating Ceremony. I will see to it in full.?

Imena

She laid there thinking over Erani's first question. It was hard to separate what her heart said and what her mind thought. Brows would crease in concentration, "No..my heart says he will be back. But my mind says it wont be the same. I'm afraid of that, it never being the same again. I don't know how long it will take for me to forgive him, if I can." She said softly with a sniffle. Honestly she didn't know how she would react if she saw Cael again. Would it be like this never happened or would she hold him fully responsible for everything? It was too twisted with emotions to know what the future would hold. But Imena was never the type to hold grudges or stay anger for long. So maybe they would be together again, some day. When Erani called for attend, Imena flinched back, blue eyes growing sharp as she picked herself back up. Her ears laid flat against her skull, tail wrapping around her as if to shield her. But she held herself tall and straight. She took in Erani's words, blinking slowly. It was true she had isolated herself. But it had just started off with her not wanting others to see her like this and it just grew worse. Eyes shifted down to her paws with a frown. She did need to start her training, and honestly she was nervous about it. She had never trained anyone before, so she wasn't sure how to go about it. But it would be a start. As Erani continued in a more gentle tone, she would relax her body that had tensed up from the older woman's anger. She didn't want to lose this rank, she had to prove Erani that she could do it. She glanced at her legs, ears twitching. She had not given much thought to her so called "escape". She never was fully of mind when she did it, it just happened as her mind went blank. But she had to find a way to stop it. She looked back up, eyes more clear than they had been in a long time."Erani..I need your guidance once more. I don't know how to go about training and reconnecting with the pack. I..I always had Cael with me and it had been so easy. If I ever felt unease or shy I could turn to him. But I have no one now. I need..i need one more lesson Erani. A lesson on how to be a Theta Valhalla can be proud of. She replied with a slight hiccup.