Which is the Voice that I was Meant to Hear?
07-30-2013, 03:19 PM
My world has changed and so have I
I've learned to choose
And even learned to say goodbye
. . .
~Do I still remember the old ways?~ Champion wondered, looking at herself in the green-silver mirror of the lake.
She looked the same as she always had, but was that a lie? She was only two and a half years old, and yet her life seemed to be falling apart. Well no, not really. That is, in some ways it was, but the worse it got, the more she felt herself detaching from it. As Amenti's beta she had found a side of herself that was respectable and militant and obeidiant to a fault. It was the soldier within her. And yes it had been satisfying to carry out her duties and be a part of something larger... but then it had all toppled. Seemed the higher someone dreamed, the easier it was for the tides to bring it crashing all down. Castles in the sand.
She had never cared about herself when it came to the future and danger. Champion saw life as a thing to be lived to the limit and beyond. But you couldn't live like that when you were worrying about other people. When you had friends with lives and families and a kingdoms on a hill. Oh what was the matter with her? She never felt conflicted! That was what she had always loved about herself was that she could always trust her instincts! She followed the voice inside and it led her on explorations and story book adventures and so far she had always come out the same as ever - if anything, stronger.
But now?
Now she didn't know what to do. She hadn't seen Newt in, weeks, maybe even a month or so. But the thing was, Newt's head was full of plots and revenge and gaining back her land. Champion just didn't believe in any of that anymore. It was so much easier when she'd been living as a rogue. She wanted to go back to the way she was before - not a Beta, not a soldier, just herself.
Or did she?
Ack! She didn't know anymore! She couldn't made heads or tails of what she wanted. Some days she lent one way, some days the other, and the more it changed, the more she felt like she couldn't trust herself. Not anymore. Not about this. She needed someone else. Someone, who could at least just be there to overtalk the voices in her head. Someone she knew. Someone she could be herself around.
Leaning her head back she let out another long slow howl for Vioxes. She'd been looking for him for some time. Maybe he'd be near, among the ice frosted lake and and the submerged forest of timber spires. She had been without him for a while now and dash it all if she didn't miss him.
It winds and bends but where it ends
Depends on only me
07-30-2013, 03:37 PM
In my heart I don't feel part of so much I've known
Now it seems it's time to start,
A new life on my own
. . .
Champion had been expecting, well, maybe a returning howl or two, then a scent steadily growing closer - perhaps a bit of running on her part to shorten the distance. But instead, she found the male appearing like a puff of smoke from the watery shadows of the lake's banks. Champion's ears swiveled round. Wine colored eyes settled on a face she knew rather well. "It's good to see you, Vio," she murmured, watching the male's movements as he walked over. She was almost disappointed when he sat down.
Wait, what? Inwardly Champion blinked, but she didn't have time to figure out her own insides. She was too complicated at the moment. She focused on her current company:
Vioxes, the hunter turned tresspasser turned slave turned companion. Champion, well, she had liked the little black striped male from the beginning. She had feared for him that Newt's sentencing would be death and she had stepped up and thrown the proverbial wing over him. But Vioxes wasn't a chick to be gathered underfoot. And Champion was certainly no mother hen. Whatever they had been during their all too short time in Amenti, it had resembled something more like traveling companions or even playmates than anything like master and servant.
She had never really bothered with wondering by Vioxes had stuck around, or seemed to enjoy her company so much. Nor had she thought much about how he would feel when she'd suddenly disappeared. That.... that was rude of her, wasn't it? She should have known better. But then again, inside she was still such a pup about some things. And now she was feeling guilty. She felt her own hindquarters sinking to the ground. Her tail was still hitched up in a husky-curl around her hip, but her ears dropped a little. She was not the sort to just say sorry about something. And after all, Vio didn't look like he was mad. Maybe she ought to just forget about the past and try to muddle through the present. "How-how are you?" she asked simply. She didn't know why she was stammering. Just a few days ago she had one of the strongest women in the world - she'd met up with a white male whose eyes were as red as her own and they'd traded such looks and words... It had awakened something in her that she knew very little about, but had proven quite powerful. Too powerful in fact, she'd ended up more or less daunting the male. Just one more soul to add to the list.
But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear
Which is the voice that I was meant to hear?