Chrysanthe hadn't the chance to truly speak with Erani since Valhalla reunited. She had been one of the first of her siblings to wander off, and had gained an air of independence about her ever since. Yet she would not forget the lovely ivory healer that had done so much for she and her family. That had become a part of it really, she was the closest thing to a mother that she and her adopted siblings could really say that they remembered. She wanted to speak to her, had a million things to say to her - but honestly the yearling wasn't sure where to start. Within her mind her thoughts flowed so freely, yet in trailing down to her tongue it seemed that they lost much of their purpose. Even so, she was sure that Erani would listen to her, no matter what she had to say, right?


Approaching the healer's den, she paused at a scent that she had smelled once before - yet it was much stronger then. While Soliel was pregnant, when she had her children, she smelled the same way. The yearling wasn't too surprised, and she was happy for the female - of course! It would be the first thing that she congratulated her on. Her den smelled of she and a Valhallan male that the beta had yet to formally meet, and she was going to have a family.


Perhaps this wasn't the greatest of ideas after all.


Collision had responsibilities that far exceeded her - she had accepted that her eldest brother wouldn't be around as much when she was younger, and he hadn't been. He had responsibilities as an alpha, as a father, and putting time aside to babysit his younger siblings had not been a priority and she held no resentment toward him because of that. Yet she couldn't help but dread Erani becoming the same way. It made her regret the time that they could have spent together that was wasted, and she clammed up before the healer's den entrance.


She felt silly, burdening a new mother with her problems. Especially when said problems varied from her abandoning brother to a male that she might possibly have feelings for in Seracia. Her eyes downcast, she let her doubts swirl within her, her tail drooping as her head turned toward the nearest exit. Leaving was a much easier alternative it seemed... yet instead she took a step closer to Erani's den and quietly asked whether she was there. "Erani? Do you have a moment?"

Erani

Erani was counting. She was low on Lavender, it seemed. And Slippery Elm bark. A few of her mint types were low, too. She rose and looked through the unsorted pile; there was some Lavender. But no Elm bark or mints. Plenty of Cress. She began sorting out the various plants. The life inside her wriggled, positions changing, ever changing. She?d begun to notice differences in each of those bodies inside her. One would lead, and the rest would follow in a dance of wriggling and twitching; all but one, who moved alone. But of course, she couldn?t tell them completely apart; she couldn?t see inside herself, now could she? But she was sure now. There were five. As her mother had been sure of her brood?s number before their birth, now Erani was aware of the number of lives her body held. And so much more. She?d begun to deduce faint hints of personality. The first mover was always the most robust, distinct movement. Must be a male she mused. Strong. He?d be a good warrior or hunter. I don?t think a Healer will be in this one?s path of Craft. She smiled. Her ears flicked toward the mouth of the cave as a shadow fell across the floor. A moment later, Chrysanthe?s voice, quiet and? Was that a hint of tentative in her tones? Erani rose and turned. ?I?ve all the time in the world, Chrysanthe. What do you need?? Her eyes raked the young Beta?s body, watching for signs of injury; a limp, a favored leg or paw. There was no sign of any injury that she could see as of yet. So her eyes rose to study the blue gaze looking back at her. There was a note to that look on Chrysanthe?s face. Erani?s mothering senses, already trained by raising Cairo?s children, were now heightened to a new degree by her own pregnancy. The Mother?s Sixth sense. It told her that Chrysanthe needed no medical help. Just someone to talk to. To confide in. She nodded to a comfortable spot near the center of the main room and settled there herself, with room for the younger female. And there, she waited to see what Chrysanthe had to say.

Chrysanthe held her breath, expecting for the healer to be busy - organizing herbs, worrying over her mate, her children... there was so much that she could prioritize first and the clay faced girl wouldn't blame her for it at all. Yet the white she-wolf's gentle features only gazed at her with care, and her words allowed the yearling to let out a sigh of relief. Erani had time, plenty of it, and the cream she-wolf let a small smile grace her lips despite her previous doubts. "Thanks."


She could barely remember the last time that she had shared a den with another. For a moment Chrysanthe thought that being inside of Erani's living space would feel like intrusion, or that she herself would feel uncomfortable - but she was wrong. Incredibly so. She felt warm and safe and immediately she was hit with a wave of nostalgia. This is how she spent her days before the eruption. Here, with Erani and all of her siblings, where the rest of the world didn't matter and sibling rivalry was as simple as who pounced harder or could eat the most or howl the loudest and longest... everything was so much more complicated now. But one thing that hadn't changed, was her relationship with the blue eyed woman before her. The yearling took a seat beside her, laying down and letting their shoulders brush just slightly. "I... wanted to talk to you. It's been too long since I've just." Since they had just spoken, since she had curled up beside her and babbled about nothing at all.


She couldn't help but wonder why she had waited to long to speak with the she-wolf who was pretty much her mother.


Perhaps it was because starting was one of the hardest things that the wariess had done so far.


"I fought for Neo on the battlefield. He should be home soon - or I'll go and get him myself." She didn't know why it was the first thing that came out of her mouth. It certainly wasn't what she thought their talk would consist of, but it was out in the open now and she wasn't sure what Erani would think of it. Did that mean that she had done the wrong thing in fighting for him to come back home? "He left... because of me. I teased him, he was being horrible but I should have known that he..." How could she have known that his bitterness wouldn't wear off? That he would rather run off and away than fight for the ranks and position and power that he wanted so badly? "He hates us. For being ranked when we first came to Valhalla." Yet it wasn't Pip that was immediately promoted, but her. Her voice failed to reel back the emotion that she felt at the subject, all frustration with a twinge of sadness


"Everything's so much different now." She sighed, her ears drooping - and she faintly thought that she couldn't remember that they did so out of feeling rather than for the purpose of defense. Cautiously her eyes flicked over to the fae's face, hoping that her expression wouldn't be one of disgust, or worse, disappointment. Because no matter how upset she became at the matter, she couldn't... wouldn't apologize for fighting to keep him here. No matter his resentment, he was family. And Chrys couldn't help but wonder whether facing this problem with her brother head on would help. It had worked for her other challenges thus far.


Which reminded her... "I've also, sort of... met someone." Neo was a hard enough subject to dwell on - Gideon James was a matter all his own.



"Talk like this."

Erani

Erani gave a light nod at the thanks Chrysanthe gave, a gentle smile pulling at her muzzle as the young female came to settle beside her and began to speak. ?Duties get the better of us at times.? She listened on, frowning softly. At the mention of Neo, her eyes showed a flash of pain, but she let Chrysanthe keep speaking, sensing that she needed to get everything out. Her ears pricked as Chrysanthe went on to take the blame for Neo?s leaving in the first place. She gave her head a soft shake, but kept quiet. As Chrysanthe went on, Erani listened, gave no judgment, no word. Just listened. When there was a pause in Chrysanthe?s speaking, she finally gave a hum of thought. Then spoke. ?I went to the Battlefield myself and called for him. When he came, I saw what you haven?t seen yet. The bitterness we all saw at the last meeting has grown to hate. He even looked at me as though he would like nothing better than to rip my throat out. If you think of it, he was never truly happy with Valhalla. ?I also called for Kaien when Neo had gone. I know you all think he?s a lazy, cowardly piece of scum. But he wouldn?t lie to me. While he was a prisoner of Valhalla in the old land, I was the only one who thought to look past where he came from, and for that, I have his respect. He said that Neo was happy in Tortuga, has a mate he is content with, and I did smell a female?s scent coming off of Neo?s fur. ?I believe he will fight tooth and nail to stay in Tortuga. He?s changed, and not for the good. It?s not just you and the other siblings he hates now. It?s all of Valhalla.? Erani sighed, and Chrysanthe added something that made her mind turn away from the dark path it had begun to glance down. Deep blues glanced aside at the dark faced lass, her head cocking sideways. ?Oh?? She voiced. ?And who would that be?? There was a glint of amusement in her eyes, and a gentle smile in her voice, but her face was kept straight as she stared the younger wolf down with a gaze that would allow no dodging from her curiosity, and no hiding of certain parts. The mother senses were tingling. The main reason was that when Epiphron had come home, she had been a littler embarrassed about being caught, but there had been no lack of innocence. No sense of shame around her. Chrysanthe however? There was something about how she said it that said something had happened with this someone.

It seemed that Erani was hurt, but whether it was by she, by Neo or a combination of the two of them was unknown to her. It made it a bit harder to speak, to go on - but she finished what she had to say because it was too late to stop now. The last thing that she wanted was for the white fae to feel obligated to keep her talking, when she had been the one that had come to the healer for guidance. When she finally ran out of things to say, paused to let what she had released settle into the air, into both of their minds, Erani hummed in response. It was nearly impossible to know what the other female was feeling just by looking at her, even her hum was masked in various emotions and nothing at all.


And so Chrysanthe waited that single moment that felt like a lifetime, until the healer began to speak. She listened, surprised when she heard that she had called for Neo herself. Perhaps in a way she was braver than Chrysanthe herself, even though the yearling had been the one to speak. Opposed to using politics, she had confronted the boy herself - and had spoken with him... only to discover the worst for herself. He hated Valhalla, he hated everything here. His family, the wolves that had raised him. What... had she managed to do with a single conversation? Yet it was too late now, it was all too late - she had claimed him into the pack that he hated and now he would stay here unless he became strong enough to fight she or Syrinx or Collision and he wouldn't be able to easily because they had training and he... "He can't go back, he can hate us - but he will have to hate us here." Unless Collision let him go.


"Maybe we can change his mind." False hope, not a single edge of confidence or vibrato lingered in her tones. She didn't believe that she could do anything to make the situation better - they would simply have to see how this all played out. Chrysanthe wanted her family with her, she wanted to protect them and love them and tease them and challenge them and be challenged - among everything though, making them miserable was no where on the list.


Which was why she hesitated to tell Erani just who she had in mind other than her brother. "A Seracian, Gideon. He... we..." She was probably too young to be speaking of the things that they had done. It was enough to make her pause, trying to fight the blush away so that she could properly speak. "Oh Erani, he was just so different - talking to him was unlike anyone I've ever come across. I couldn't help but like him, but take to him, to let him." She was impressed with him, oh easily she could admit that. "I wanted... too much and..." He had given it all to her without a second thought. She had been selfish and he had been something between a conman and a gentleman and she couldn't get herself to blame him at all regardless. Not one bit. "I'm not completely sure about my feelings toward him, but I want to be with him." She... missed his company, if she was going to be completely honest with herself. Sure, she was busy as one of Valhalla's betas, but in the spaces between patrolling and sparring and hunting the spans of minutes were she was alone felt like hours and it was horrible. It was horrible how badly she wanted to leave her den and wander off in search of the male - she hated feeling like this. Dependent.


It was as if those months of living alone had crumbled away and she was left yearning for constant company in a way that she never had before. "Do you think... he could feel the same way?"



"Talk like this."

Erani

Chrysanthe?s reply brought a soft sigh to Erani?s nose. It whispered out as she gazed at the mouth of the cave. Then her eyes turned to Chrysanthe as the younger female changed to the subject of the one she had met. Another Seracian? As Chrysanthe stuttered along, Erani?s eyes sharpened, and she pinned the girl to the ground with her eyes. ?And, pray tell, how old is this fellow? A female your age, with as good as the hunting is in Valhalla, could get pregnant. How long ago was this?? Her nose reached out to take a sniff of the younger female?s scruff. She didn?t smell pregnant. Still. Her worry was aroused. ?As for whether he returns your feelings, I can?t answer that. But Chrysanthe. Don?t take this as a scolding, but a bit of advice. You are young. Too young. You need to stay away from him, until you are old enough and have a better idea of your feelings. I don?t want your heart to be broken. Attractions between two of different packs can often lead to pain. What happens if the Kingdom of Seracia and Valhalla goes to war for some reason?? Her deep blue eyes were soft as she gazed into the young female?s eyes, those as blue as Cairo?s. ?If he?s your own age, I wouldn?t mind? But I have a feeling he is not. I want you to find someone your own age, who you can get to know, as a friend, and perhaps eventually something more. Not someone you met and charmed you enough to go beyond the boundaries.? She gazed at the younger female as she rolled onto her other side, proffering her swollen stomach. ?Would you like to feel them, Chrysanthe?

Erani's eyes sharpened at first, and Chrysanthe noticed, but it didn't deter her from finishing her thought. These were words that she had kept to herself, that she hadn't told anyone else, and honestly she needed the second, wiser opinion. As much as she wanted to be completely independent, she knew that she was far from being able to do and understand it all on her own - that was where her family came in, and for this, for Erani's willingness to listen, she was grateful. Yet it didn't seem that she exactly approved of her actions with this male - because as soon as the secret was out and she knew just how far that the yearling had taken things with this male, she was worried. The idea of pregnancy made Chrysanthe's stomach flip, her blue eyes widening.
Children? But she was just a child. She swallowed hard, looking down at her paws as she thought of the moment she had shared with Gideon. As odd and marvelous and terrifying as it had been to be so close to him, it... was something that she should start regretting, wasn't it? Erani was too kind to scold her, and as she spoke Chrys could hear the strong mothering tone, and knew to take these words seriously. Erani thought she was too young, too young to be throwing herself at someone older than her - someone that, unbeknown to Erani, had a kingdom to run. The female hated admitting it, but her guardian was probably right.
For now, she had no yearning to rebel, to say that she was confident and mature and could make this decision and he had been interested in her hadn't he? She hadn't been a spur of the moment thing, had she? It was a cycle of thought and emotion that made her feel more tired than any fight or spar that she had been in had. "He's older." He was also ridden with responsibility and part of a pack she knew nothing about. "Seracia doesn't seem to be a bed place." She... had the power to go make sure of that, didn't she? Yet the thought was discarded, the last thing that she needed to do was kick up feelings and dust and see him when she should probably start avoiding him all together.
And then Erani changed the subject, and Chrysanthe was glad that she did. Thoughts of Gideon James were painful and if she was going to listen to Erani's advice, she would do well to start forgetting about him now. "I do - how many of them do you think there are?" She asked, tentative for a moment. Slowly she moved her muzzle toward the white fae's stomach, letting her nose press against her ribs. The beta pulled back though, surprised when she swore that she felt one kick. "They're lively aren't they?" She asked, feeling excited for Erani's little brood. Still though, the feeling of being replaced lingered - she had simply learned to swallow it down, just like she had done with Collision. Her more... ugly feelings had no place here, not when the situation called for so much joy. "Talk like this."

Erani

Erani watched her young charge?s reaction with a gentle sadness. So much confusion of the heart wasn?t right for a girl her age. The Healer leaned forward, placing a gentle lick on her forehead. ?I know it?s hard.? As Chrysanthe touched her nose to Erani?s side, the sensitive life did indeed move. The whole litter went into a series of rolling and wriggling and kicking. A soft chuckle followed Chrysanthe?s remark. ?Ohhh yes. They are that. One will twitch, and then the entire lot will start up. It usually happens every ten to thirty minutes. I can?t know for sure until they?re born, but I think there?s five in there.? She felt a slight sense of unease coming from Chrysanthe, the sixth sense tingling. She gazed at the dark faced young female. Into the blue eyes. Blue like her father, but shaped like her mother?s. ?Chrysanthe. You will always be like my own child. You, Epiphron, Eos, Preston, Neo, Syrinx? ?When your father placed you all in my care, at that time, I believed myself to be barren. I thought that I would never have the chance to have my own litter. You were as close to having my own pups as I could have gotten. You will always be in my heart. All of you, no matter what happens. You can never be replaced. If you were to die, the part of my heart that you are in would die with you. The same goes for the rest. Even Neo. "Do you understand? I will always love you and your siblings as I will my own. And I would be honored if you would be a sister to this litter.? A soft, serious smile was upon her muzzle.

Being a mother was hard work, that much Chrysanthe knew. She couldn't imagine carrying life within her just yet, but seeing how happy Erani was with her litter made her fear it a bit less. She loved her mate and these children and it made the beta proud to be able to claim a little piece of that family as her own. Although it would be a very big family! "Five?!" She was in shock, there had been three in her own litter, and a few in Soliel's, but she trusted Erani's judgement and felt that she was correct in her assumption of there being so many pups within her womb. "Incredible." Five little mouths to feed, five adorable little Valhallans to coddle and spoil and teach and train along the way. She was excited, regardless of the looming thoughts of being replaced. To her, it was a part of growing up. As others made lives and moved on with their own, she would need to become more independent. She would help those that she loved without bringing them down, and once Erani's litter was born she would do away with moments of weakness like this, where she broke down and spilled all of her problems onto the gentle white fae.


It was part of growing up. It was love and devotion, it was the way that the yearling had learned to think and act and grow.


They were her own thoughts, thoughts that she would never share with another because they were private and extremely personal - yet Erani seemed to be able to see the tip of the iceberg without Chrysanthe's notice. The yearling caught Erani's gaze, and nearly gasped at her words - she considered her one of her children, she and her siblings they were all hers. She considered herself their guardian, and although biologically they had no blood relations, spiritually she was their mother. She raised them, she loved them, each and every one with a strength that the young Adravendi could feel in her words. "I barely remember her, Guinevere. I wish I had known her, but I didn't know the pain of loosing her - because I have you. You're more of a mother to me than anyone could ever hope to be Erani." She smiled, her tail wagging softly behind her as she realized these were words that she had wanted, needed to hear from her guardian. "I would be honored to be a sister to them." They would be her siblings, she would watch them fiercely, love them and look out for them and watch them grow.


The girl paused for a single second before gently nuzzling the fae beside her. "And I've always been a daughter to you." There was no doubt about it. She was someone that she could always trust and speak with, someone that she would always stand up for, and would always stand up for her. She was as much a constant as Epiphron and Syrinx, always there and willing and loving. "Love you too." It felt funny saying it - she didn't say it often to her siblings, but it didn't mean the feeling wasn't there. Such sentiments were simply not needed between them. Their feelings for each other were fierce and simple and a universal constant to each of their own little worlds. It was such a soft statement, so sentimental and vulnerable - and she felt it stick to the corners of her mouth and tongue. Yet it warmed her heart as well, and made her smile in a way that wasn't too big, but she couldn't quite control.


"Talk like this."

Erani

Erani grinned at Chrysanthe?s reaction. ?Yes, five.? Deep blues twinkled with laughter as she chuckled. She agreed that it was incredible. After all, she had never expected to ever be able to conceive. Her eyes were soft as they turned to her swollen sides. They turned back to Chrysanthe as the young female spoke, a hint of sadness entering her eyes. ?Perhaps, if I had gotten to her sooner, you would be speaking with her right now. She was a wonderful female, generous, kind, and she loved all of you with the ferocity of a mother bear.? She gave the young female a lick on the forehead. Chrysanthe?s words helped to ease some of the pain in her heart when she thought of Guinevere. What would Chrysanthe be like if Erani hadn?t taken them in? If Cairo hadn?t given them into her care? She smiled as Chrysanthe accepted the honor of being a sibling to the future lives, so soon to being their own independent selves. ?Thank you.? She nuzzled softly at the young female?s neck. ?So how has your training been going? Aislyn?s going to be whelping soon. Do you think you?re ready to step up into her place??