Starling was pacing.  He had never really paced before but today he was. His paws wove through the grass endlessly, back and forth back and forth infront of his den. It was like he was lost, his eyes were wide and sightless, his ears tugged back as he moved. He didnt know what to do anymore, that single moment of pure doubt knocked him off his path and he didnt know where he was going anymore. His heart was heavy in his chest as he moved, a lump lodged in his throat as he moved, as if he were searching for a way back. The air was thick with the scent of his herbs but for once it didnt bring him peace. He was restless… With a slight growl, a rare sound for the young destruction, he'd stomp his foot against the ground. Blue eyes soft, yet wild, tears beading against his ducts. He was frustrated, upset and for once he didnt know what to do. Oh, he was a child. He was awful, worse than Lillianna and Sparrow. He was a disgrace to his family, to his father. A whimper would worm up through his throat before he dropped his head, pausing in his pace for a moment. He didnt deserve his rank, didnt deserve any rank…. The strength in his legs slowly gave out, his muscles tingling like they were asleep before his knees suddenly gave way. And he fell, crumpled in a mess infront of his den. Aunt harmony…his father…they were right. He was a child. Eyes would stare blankly as he looked at a blade of grass, his brows furrowed and his nose hidden beneath his paw. Things hurt that had never hurt before, and the only thing he thought of in that moment was…that he missed Cathaoir. "Burn Baby Burn" || "Bruciare Bambino Bruciare"

There was a lot for Lark to think about. He wasn't normally the type to brood... okay, maybe he was... but he couldn't help doing it much more now. Soon, his family would be marching to war. They would all be in danger, especially if they didn't win this siege, and he found himself acutely aware of just how dangerous this was as they began to prepare to go to war.

Starling would be in charge of the healers, and would be setting up an outpost for the injured to go to - or worst case scenario, be brought to if they were unable to go their on their own - and Lark found himself interested in what his brother was doing to prepare. And he wondered if he was ready for it. He knew his brother was a bit sensitive; did he feel like he could lead the healing group? Lark wondered if he needed someone to talk to. Either way, he did want to check in with his siblings before the siege and with that in mind, he began to make his way toward Starling's den.

When his brother came into view though, his pace slowed drastically. What on earth was Starling doing? He swore he saw tears staining his eyes and his entire posture looked defeated.

"Brother?" he'd ask gently, his head lowering to the ground as he moved closer. His entire being seemed to soften when he was around his siblings, and his eyes were warm and unblinking for a long moment as he watched him. "Are you alright?"

He didn't feel his brother approach, didn't see him untill his smooth voice carressed his ears. Blue eyes would slowly lift to look up at Lark before wincing away as it registered just who it was standing infront of him. Great. Just fantastic. Anyone else, and Starling would have been mildly okay with it. But Lark seeing him this way?? He could feel his eyes sting at how pathetic he must seem to his brother. His big brother, the one he looked up too the absolutely most. With a sigh he'd close his eyes again. "Mi manca..." He whispered so softly, his voice pitched. But that was only a fraction of the problem. But he sighed heavily, shifting to lift back up onto his paws and shaking his head quickly. He was hesistant to talk to Lark about this, to appear more weak but.. Slowly blue eyes would lift up to his brother, shy and hesitant. "I'm..." He whispered, his voice catching as he quickly looked away. "I-i'm not g-good enough, L-lark.." He whispered so softly, his voice heart breaking as he fidgetted on his paws. "N-no m-matter h-how ha-ard I t-try...I-I'm not..." He paused then, looking back to his brother. The word heavy on his tongue. 'you'. He wasn't Lark, he would never be like Lark no matter how he tried. He would never be a warrior, never be strong. Even on the precipise of adulthood he was constantly tripping. He'd rather have his nose in the dirt than his fangs in another wolf. "I d-don't know i-if I c-can d-do this.." He admitted in the smallest of voices, curling up tightly around himself and staring pointedly at the ground. Some small part of him was telling him he was so foolish, but the rest of him thrummed with these emotions, these thoughts. Starling would never be good enough, no matter how hard he tried. "Burn Baby Burn" || "Bruciare Bambino Bruciare"

There was a lot for all of them to think about, and he knew Starling tended to be more sensitive than most. Still, Lark found little reason for him to worry. He was easily the most skilled healer that he'd ever met - hell, he was naive enough to believe he was among the top healers in the world, despite Starling's age and relatively limited experience. It anyone would care for their wounded properly, it would be him.  His brows pulled together tightly as he approached, listening to the words that his brother spoke softly. He'd said them quietly, but they were still audible, as all his attention had been focused on Starling.  "Who?" he'd ask gently, wondering if Staring hadn't realized he'd been practicing Italian more at Finch's urging.. or if he'd said it for him to hear.

He loved his siblings, but he didn't understand them. It felt like every single one of them felt like outcasts, and failures, despite the fact that they were anything but. His ears would pull back at Starling's words. He wasn't good enough?  "What are you talking about?" he'd probe firmly, his head tilting.  "Doesn't even make sense that you think that way, Starling. You study all the time and are always trying to practice healing and finding new herbs." Lark's nose would wrinkle in frustration. Where were these feelings and concerns coming from? They weren't rooted in reality, and Lark had a hard time comprehending such feelings.  "You know more about plants and stuff than anyone I know."

Stop being silly, he wished he could tell him - but he cared far too much to be so blunt. Biting his tongue, he would move forward to sit at Starling's side. Lark didn't feel that strong, not like his siblings thought. He skipped training sessions and he'd only won a single fight against an adult that had given up halfway through. Who knew if he was even a good fighter? He just knew he would try, with all his might, without worry. It seemed that was something Starling struggled with. He would relax next to his brother, pressing his snout to Starling's neck. "..and I know with certainty that you would do everything in your power to help any of us, anyone in Abaven. What more do you need?"