He had been so disconnected from the pack for so long now that even just walking across the beach that was their main home felt strange. Since his twin had disappeared he felt like he had lost his anchor here. Of course he would never dream of leaving his siblings, but he just wasn't sure where he fit in any more. Talking with Astrea had helped some, but he still had the nagging feeling like he was letting everyone down by not being able to make himself help out. He frowned as he padded across the dark sands, his gaze fixed downward as he watched his own charcoal-dipped paws move. His steps were slow and aimless, really just moving to give himself something to do while his mind swirled. He was used to his mind working over-time at almost a constant basis, but lately it felt more like a curse than a blessing. He sighed and came to a stop in front of the boulder that his older brothers used during meetings. He lifted his head to look at it, slowly sinking down onto his haunches while he stared without really looking at anything. Speak Thought Others

Voltage was once again laying in the sand. He couldn't move, he just stared at the ocean, wasting away into the black sands. Sometimes he would get himself up and move to his rock, sometimes he find his way back to the den, but the very sight of it, knowing Illie would never sleep there again, knowing he could do nothing to help Current, made him turn back around. He had told Glacier to spend time with Anais, but he honestly doubted his brother would listen to him. He would just make his commutes from his den to the beach, barely 20 feet, each day. Sometimes he'd lay there for hours, for over a day, only leaving when he absolutely had too. He barely ate, barely slept. At this point, his skin was beginning to hang from him. If Serefina came around, he knew she would chaste him and then try and kick his butt (and win for once). Oh...he missed his sister so dearly. With a sigh he closed his eyes to the sun, to the light, feeling the cool water lap against his paws. He hurt, he grieved. His little girl was gone, several of his siblings just fell off the face of the earth. He couldn't do this anymore, he didn't have the strength too. Not anymore. He had never been strong enough. He barely noticed his brother, just pressing his paws into the sand and ignoring the world around him as best as he could. "Burn Baby Burn"

It took a while for Solaris to finally pull his gaze away from the rock he had been blindly staring at. A sigh drifted past his lips and his gaze glanced across the rest of the beach. It was then that he spotted the bright yellow spot of fur on the beach, the one thing that made his brother stand out from the rest of the black sand. Sol's dark tipped ears flicked back as he watched his older brother. He felt like he had let Volt down the most of all. They had both lost something very dear to them and instead of going to his brother to try and find support in each other Sol had shut everyone out and wallowed in his own discomfort and sadness. With this revelation fresh in his mind, he pulled himself back onto his paws and he made his way over to his brother. As he got closer he noticed just how bad Volt had gotten in the last couple of weeks. That only helped to make Solaris feel even more guilty, but he tried to put that on the back burner. He came up along side Voltage and settled down onto his stomach next to Volt, just close enough for their gold and black fur to touch. He wouldn't say anything at first, instead just resting his head on his paws and letting the quiet speak for him. Speak Thought Others

He hadn't even noticed his brother until he felt him lay at his back. It was how out of it he was, how distant he was to the living world. He could barely function anymore, aside from moving from one location to another. How could he bare to live if his little girl wasn't going to be able to take another breath? Oh...it was all gone. All done. He sighed softly, closing his eyes as Solaris' fur pressed into his. It was odd, he wanted to be alone, but the second he had someone at his side, he wanted to cling to it. But unlike Astrea, he and Solaris had never really had a touchy feeling sibling relationship. He didn't hug his brother often, not that they spent a great deal of time with one another. He missed Solaris, missed boucing off his brilliant mind. He often wondered if the answers to the universe were locked in his brother's brain, and he was just too quiet to tell anyone. Voltage sighed softly, tilting his head back so he could look at Solaris. "Long time no see.." He whispered, not meaning it as a guilt tripping, not meaning it as anything other than just...opening conversation. His distant, sunken eyes tried to focus on his brother's golden face, but he couldn't. The strain made his skull pulse in agony and he'd flop his head back to the sand again. "You know, right?" He whispered sadly, wondering if Solaris had been gone for the whole....event. If he even knew illie. It wasn't likely. Voltage had been the father from hell and barely allowed his daughter to see the light of day. Oh, he deserved this... "Burn Baby Burn"

Sol lifted his eyes to look at Voltage when he spoke, trying to pull a small smile onto his lips. He could tell that his comment wasn't meant in any kind of biting manner, but it still made that guilt he was feeling bubble back up a bit. "Yes... I'm trying to make myself more present these days," he replied softly. Physically and mentally, though he left those things unspoken. He watched Volt's head flop back down and Sol's smile drifted away again. They were a mess, the two of them. If there was one thing he could possibly gain from loosing his twin he could only hope that it would be the ability to spend more time with his other siblings. He felt like he hardly knew them at all compared to how well he knew Selini. His ears swiveled toward Volt to listen as he asked a simple question and Solaris nodded. "I know." He had heard the news the moment he had stepped back into the living area of their family. It was hard to miss any kind of major event with his siblings around. He hadn't been here for it though. Nor had to ever met Voltage's daughter. He had only met Current in passing after the fact and had never met Illume. Yet another thing to feel badly about. "I apologize for not being here sooner. I get a little... thrown off balance when Selini leaves." It wasn't abnormal for his twin to wander off now and again, but she had never been gone like this before. "I want to be here for you." Speak Thought Others

Voltage would sigh softly as he rested his cheek against the sand again, looking out at the horizon. The sun shone bright over the calm ocean, and he couldn't help but think of the irony. It was so pretty, so calm, it felt so safe, just like it had on that day. The temperature was steadily declining in the winter, and yet the ocean remained the same. All that changed was the smallest sections of ice that gathered along the shore, that would melt away or be crushed when the waves hit it again. He listened intently to his brother, just as he always had. Even in his pain, he was still Voltage. His siblings came first, even now. He would focus on his brother, knowing he was feeling pain as well. "The sky feels so empty when the moon hides her face.." He whispered softly, shifting to his belly so he could look at Solaris without twisting his head too much. "Don't apologize, brother." He said softly then, looking down at the sand. "I just miss you all when you leave, even for a day. What you feel with Seli now, is what I feel every day you're gone. Doesn't that feel wonderful?" He whispered sadly, looking up at his brother with distant, tear stained eyes. "To have had someone you care for so much that your very soul misses them when they're gone? To have had that? Even if it's gone, whether forever or just for a short time..." He was sad, he was depressed. Voltage was beyond broken, but at least today there was no lingering anger. He'd shift to rest his head against his brother's shoulder, the most physical contact they had ever had. And oh, he needed it. He needed to recharge, needed to feel his brother's precense. Sol was just like Glacier, in a way. And he needed that. He had depended too much on his littermate that doing so now made him feel so...guilty, but he needed this comfort, this connection. He just hoped he wouldn't make Solaris feel bad in the process. "Burn Baby Burn"

"The sky feels so empty when the moon hides her face..." That felt like the understatement of the year. Without the moon his night sky felt desolate and barren. It sent his nights into a spiral of loneliness. The sun was his connection to the universe, but the moon kept him balanced. The moon was his connection to earth. Now, much like Astrea had noticed in her talks with him, he was depending on his other siblings to fill in that gap. It felt as though it took all of his family to fill the void that his twin had left. He was just lucky enough to have siblings that cared so much that they were willing to do that for him. Solaris watched Voltage as he spoke, his expression sad and solemn. He knew how his brother felt, even if this soul crushing emotion he was talking about was pointedly for Selini for him. He knew what it was like to miss someone so much it derailed everything else. He loved all of his siblings dearly, but missing his moon had distracted him from that fact until now. When Voltage leaned into him and rested his head on his shoulder Solaris was more than happy to let him. He wanted to be here for his brother and if this was what he needed right now then that was what he would do for him. "It's okay to grieve," he said softly after letting them lay there in silence for a short time. He kept his gaze facing out toward the horizon as he spoke, his voice quiet and thoughtful. "I would be more concerned for you if you weren't grieving. It's good to love as deeply as you do. At some point though, we have to keep going for the ones that are still here. Glacier, Astrea, Gale, Terrae, Current, myself... We're all here. We're here together because you gave us this place to live in." He brought his gaze down to look at Voltage, hoping he could possibly express just how much his words meant to him. He had never been the best at expressing his feelings, but he hoped maybe he could just this once express himself properly. "I'm not saying that you need to be bright and chipper right this very moment. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. It may be months from now before you're back to your old self if you ever are, but you can't keep laying on the beach like this or hiding in the den. If not for us then for yourself. I can't watch you waste away to nothing." He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat and brought his head down to lay his neck around Voltage's, trying to give him some form of an embrace. "I can't lose you too." Speak Thought Others