Astrea had been home for almost a season now but other than that first meeting Astrea had not seen head nor tail of her dearest elder brother. She hummed softly, she knew he must be hurt beyond reason after they lost little Illume. Astrea felt the loss too, she had only just stated getting the little one on track with her nature, she was starting to understand her need for light but now she was gone and with her the light seemed to fallow... As if her very nature missed her like the family did. So her quite waiting was over, if Astrea had learned anything on her quest for self it was the fact that sometimes she had to go to her charge to help them, that sometimes they where to proud or too lost to find help for their soul. So Astrea was moving through the beach, her nose to the air looking for any scent of Volt which was easy enough because only one of his trails fresh, which worried Astrea more because that means he was not moving through the territory like he used to. Astrea picked up her pace then, her mind made up. The Star Dreamer was going to knock some since into his big block head, yes he lost his daughter, yes she was important to him, as she was important to them all. But she was not the only one who looked to Voltage for guidance and protection. The family needed him, they needed him to be strong for them all, to protect them from the same fate as the Hellstorms... She would do anything for Volt, to bring back the joy she knew was in him. Even if Astrea had to leave her family again so soon after her return, even if she missed another birth into the family. She would be sad to but she would, so would give her siblings anything so that they stayed happy, even her own life if that was asked.

It had been two weeks. A half of a month, since his little girl had been washed away before his very eyes. Two weeks since Current had lost her other half, and had lost her own light as well. Two weeks since the last time Voltage had known what to do. Two weeks of Glacier being at his side, every second, every breath, trying to help Voltage through this. But he didn't know. No one knew. No one could understand what it felt to watch something you made, watch a little bit of you, become lost to the world. Twice. How could any of them understand the feelings you felt when you lost a child? It had been a week since Voltage had finally given up, finally understood that his child, that his daughter, was lost to the world forever. For the first time in a week, Voltage had left the den. He hadn't move very far, no. He had managed to get to the ocean before he fell to his side, cheek to black sand, staring out with dead eyes at the ocean. The waves in their crest had managed to wash over his side but now that the tide was out, it just barely touched his toes with the strongest of waves. There was nothing but numbness as he stared, watching the waves and praying to the universe, to whoever decided that Voltage was not allowed any of his own happiness, to just...save his daughter. To raise her from the waves and return her to him. To give him back his light. He had lost everything that day. It had been a catalyst, a fatal crack, and Voltage had been lost to the waves as well. Without the light, his energy couldn't shine. Without his family...his family, he couldn't feel. He felt resentful, felt spiteful, but also...felt nothing. Where the hell was his family?! His daughter, his little girl was gone, and aside from that fateful day the only one that was at his side was Glacier. His family that he had laid his life down for. His family that, since the moment he had seen them, had vowed to protect them and care for them and guide them. His family, whom he worried about each and every day, was nowhere to be seen when HE needed them! For once. For once, Voltage needed them. And they were nowhere to be found. Why, oh why, did the universe hate him so... "Burn Baby Burn"

Astrea had thought he needed space, had waited for him to come to her, had hoped that he would, that he knew that she would help him. She had waited, a small part of her dying when he still did not mount the cliff face and seek her comfort. She was always in the same place, always available, always willing to lend a ear, and yet no one thought enough about her to come. Everywhere around her her family was falling apart, and yet no one looked to her for advice. It felt like a short coming, that she was not good enough for the role that Voltage gave to her, had told her was hers. That even the one wolf who had believed in her did not thought enough to seek her out, to come to her with his bleak soul. She narrowed her eyes, knowing that if she gave into her insecure thoughts again that everything she had fought for most of the year was for nothing. No, she shock off the thought and moved closer to the only being that seemed to see her light in the darkness she had lived in those first three years. He had not given up on her, even when she gave up on herself, so she would not let the hurt of the persevered failure get to her. She was over him now, her pale eyes taking in his broken form, her mind racing to figure out a way to fix this to fix him. She could see that he was hurt, hurt down to his very soul, every cell within him calling out for that one he lost... Her own pain flared then, she had failed in the worst way possible, she made a mistake in waiting for him, she should have gone to him the moment she found out what had happened, she should not have let him wallow in this very heavy pain. And in that moment she knew what she had to do, she would give anything to see her most beloved brother whole again. She would give him her very heart if he would just smile. She would forsake her very name sake if he would LIVE again. She would not look at the stars again until her brother was whole. "Voltage, I will make this better, I will do everything to make you happy, I will give up the stars just for you." She knew just from the sight of him that he had given up, that he and everyone thought that little Illume was gone. But hope still bloomed in her that the child, of one of the strongest wolves she knew, would give up on life. Little Illume would fight to her last breath and then some, and Astrea was not going to think otherwise. With no other words Astrea turned, calling softly to Zori, knowing the bird would not be far from her. She would make this right, she would fix her brother, even if the stars stop shinning down on her...

Voltage laid there, still and alone, his mind racing and quiet all at the same time. He could barely move, feeling lead slip through his veins, settling like weights in his bones. He felt as if he could sink if he were to fall into the ocean, as if he could fall forever and never reach the bottom, but never able to reach the top again. He felt like he could cry, like he could burn, and he still wouldn't feel it. Breath gathered in his lungs before he let it out, in a woeful sound. That was when he noticed someone standing close to him. Blinking slowly over distant eyes, he'd slowly lift them to look at her. She stood over him, her shadow falling over his withering form, and he couldn't even bare to smile. It wasn't in him anymore. It was lost to the waves. It took a moment for her words to register, took a moment before he realized what she had said. And in that moment a crippling panic crashed over him. No! "Sister!" He croaked, feeling tears fill his eyes and his brows pinch over his eyes as he twisted his head to look back at her, the edge of his skull pressed in the sand and one paw lifted to help him twist just enough. He couldn't speak, his jaws were clenched, but he whined. The first time he had seen her since his daughter had been lost...and she was leaving just as quick. He practically begged with every ounce of him, he couldn't bare to be alone. Don't leave "Burn Baby Burn"

Zori swooped in a question in her little cheeps. "We are leav..." She stopped her ears twitching as she heard the call and another sound that broke her further. His pain was her pain, she felt his soul call out, felt his very being reaching. She felt the crushing waves that threatened to pull her down with him, felt her very light die out. Sharp bolts of that very heaviness weighed her down as she hesitated and turned back to his broken body. His eyes panicked, full of pain and loneliness. His pain was her pain. She whined back to him, her own eyes full of her failure, full of her short comings, It did not matter what she did she always failed the one soul who had believed in her, the one wolf who had looked at her muted lights and knew that under the shadows she hid in shone a star so bright that it almost burned. But now that light flickered, threatening to dim and then go out, the pain she felt was so strong. His pain was her Pain. "Why Voltage? I am not good for anything." The echo of that long ago night spread around them, bearing her soul yet again. But this time she was not sure her brother was willing or able to catch her fractured soul. His pain was her pain. It was so very very painful and crushing, her very being shattered to see this strong and lively wolf reduced to panic and whines. "I failed! I let you and everyone I care for down, I FAILED at the only thing that I am good for. Why when I failed the only one who saw through the darkness and saw me? Why should I stop at the only thing that I can do for you!?" His pain was her pain. So cutting, so heavy, so hot. It was crushing her, pulling her under the waves where she was not able to see the light that Voltage uncovered all those nights ago. The light was so dim she could not see it anymore, the pain was so strong, oh so heavy. His pain was her pain... ""

Voltage felt numb, but his mind still worked. His instincts. Somewhere deep inside of him he knew her feelings. Just like he had known Glacier. Somewhere deep inside him was the Voltage that wanted to suffer alone, and didn't want to drag his family down with him. Somewhere in him was the knowledge, the ability to know what to do when it came with his siblings. He always knew what to do with his siblings, even when he himself didn't know. He listened to her, his eyes staring at her, his jaw clenched, and he slowly twisted to roll onto his side to face her. He didn't wince, didn't move once as she spoke. He knew she felt his pain strongly, he could see it in her eyes. It was what made their family so special. Even in his anger, his resentment, he knew that she was there for him. In some way, even if she wasn't there for his initial pain, the initial and fatal crack. She was here now. And while a small part of him, an unknowing, unthinking, grieving part of him, wanted to drag her beneath the waves with him, to feel what he felt, the brother and guide he had always been knew that he had to right this for her. It wasn't fair to blot out her light as well. He parted his lips slowly before sighing and resting his chin on the sand again. He didn't have the strength to lift his head, didn't have the energy to go to her. He was wasting away, slowly. In two weeks he had barely slept, barely eaten. But he would stare at her and slowly lift the forelimb that wasn't pressed into the earth. "C'mere.." He whispered hoarsely. He needed her at his side, needed his family. Illume was gone, Current was...going somewhere he couldn't find, and Voltage himself was losing himself by the day. His element, his lifeblood was his family, and dear god...he needed them. "Please." He whispered in a pitched voice, feeling the tears slip down his cheeks again. They were endless. He could fill an ocean with his tears. "Burn Baby Burn"

She wanted to resist, she wanted to just run then and their, go back out into that dark world and not come back until she was sure she found the light again. She felt the pull that drove her all those times life thrown out her Throat, leaving her bleeding. She wanted to run from her problems again, wanted to run and keep running. She did not want to feel this crushing pain, did not want to see her proud brother brought to his knees. Did not want to see him so... Broken. But she resisted that urge. She had told him upon her return that she would not run from her problems, that she would face them. And this pain, his pain, was not something that she would be able to run from without breaking a crucial part of her own soul. Instead she cried out and ran to him, shoving her small body under his raised paw, she put her face into his neck, ignoring the stench of him dying. For that was what was happening, he was so thin and frail now, he was wasting away before her very eyes and she felt so helpless. "I'm sorry Volt, I'm sorry." She whined into him, tears streaming into his fur, she had never felt so lost, felt so broken before, had never faced this strong of a emotion before. His pain was her pain. "Sorry, sorry, sorry." She kept whispering into his fur, knowing that no matter how many times she said it, it would not make this better, that the light was gone. She was sorry that she was not good enough for him, that he had to go through this, that he was alone to, that she had failed him... She was sorry that there was nothing she could do for the brother who had given her everything, sorry that she was not able to return the favor at this moment. Sorry that she was making this worse... "Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry Volt. Sorry..."

He would watch her in silence, laying there in stillness. He had never been still before, never stayed in one spot. He could hardly stop talking at times. It was like night and day, the Voltage of his youth and this man that laid in the sand. But he stared at her with the same hope he had always had. They all needed each other in their darkest hours, and this was Voltage's. What could compare to losing a daughter. He was silent, but the second she was at his side, pushing into his arms, he was holding her. His arms wrapped around her as he pulled her into his withering form. He had little, but some strength left. It had only been two weeks, but it had been a long two weeks. He rested his chin on her and sighed, feeling her whine and cry into his fur. He held her, tightly. As if he would never let her go. He rode her sadness, like he had always done, allowed her to cry and knowing she needed it. She was his sister, she was illie's auntie. There had to be pain there, as well. Astrea and Illie would have been great friends, he believed. His daughter had been a louder, more rambunctious twin to Astrea's longing. He would sigh and close his eyes, shifting to bury his nose into her fur. "Astrea, my beloved northern star." He whispered softly, his paw wrapping tighter around her. "Shhhhsh..." He would sooth, trying to comfort her in his own grief, trying to hold her through the pain. "There has never been anything that you need to apologize for..." He whispered by her ear, pressing a kiss along her skull. "The universe...I was selfish, for longing my own happiness. It's not in my destiny, I am meant to be your guide, I am meant to allow you to glow...." He breathed. And he believed it, he really did. This was all punishment for going against his vows. For going against the universe. "I was never meant for anything than what I had..." He breathed, trying to sooth her. "Don't cry, my little star, don't apologize." He whispered, tears touching his eyes again. "Burn Baby Burn"

Astrea buried herself further into him, knowing that she was making a mess of things, that she somehow turned this into all about her. It was not, this was about him and how she was to help him, but at this moment she knew that the best way to help him was to be here for him and to set him straight on his thoughts, which jogged her out of the depths of disrepair and into the flaming light of anger. She jerked her head up at his softly spoken words, and narrowed her still teary eyes at him. She had never felt anger like this before, never before felt the need to rip out his jugular for his shear stupidity. Later Astrea would mus and think that maybe she understood her fiery sisters moods now... But at this moment she gazed at the broken soul of her brother and knew what had to be done. With her new found anger she gave her brother a sharp retort. "Don't you dare discount your happiness!" The words came out sharp. Now that the pain was more bearable the Star Dreamer knew what had to be done, he needed to be shocked out of this state and put back on track, he had to be forcibly evicted from his disrepair and made to see that the family needed him as much as he needed them. Astrea got up them, her damp eyes determined as she looked at his withered form. "Do not lay this blame on me! You did your part in guiding me! Now is for you, and if the universe cannot see that then it can eat shit." That was also a first, she had never before felt this fire in her. "And destiny can do the same!" She huffed now her pale eyes holding fire at the same time as the pain. She got up then moving out from under. She placed her nose under his side and made to nudge him up. She was not going to let him lay here feeling sorry for himself, no she is going to do what Glacier should have done days ago. She was going to get food into him, even if she had to force it down and then she is going to find the fire that was in his soul and that too she was going to force into him. "If anyone deserves happiness its you! I will not hear otherwise! Now get to your feet and LIVE." She huffed at him, her patience now almost gone. She was in full blown guide mode now, not even thinking about the pain that still lived in her own soul. "Little Illume is alive out there and you pissing on her life is an insult, now stop feeling sorry for yourself and do what our parents never did for us and tear the world apart looking for her!" Now that the blind pain was gone she saw clearly what was happening. He was doing exactly what their parents did, he was giving up on little Illume and that was not going to be forgiven.

He knew her anger, just a little bit. She had never been this mad at him, never swore, never spat, but he had always known the little burning flame she held inside of her. Like a star, she needed to burn and shine sometimes. Even if it was against him. He'd sigh softly and lift his leg off of her when she jerked up, laying it and his head against the sand again. He felt his own anger rise up in his chest as she spoke. He was silent, allowing it to wash over her, but when she began pushing at him, telling him to leave, and...oh. He would suddenly jerk up, onto his paws and spinning on her. The fire in his eyes could only be rivaled by the anger Serefina often yielded. His lips were curled and his ears were back. He was hurt, and he was angry. "Don't you ever compare me to our parents!!" He hissed through clenched jaws. "I didn't throw her out, Astrea! I have been searching since the moment she was washed away, endlessly, for days upon days untill my paws bled. I have searched with no sign, no hair, no scent. Glacier, Gale and Locha have searched as well. She's gone!" His voice broke at the end, his face tightening up as it became hard to breathe. He just stared at her, a fire in his eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks. "You can't begin to understand what I am feeling. Who was it that saw our parents dead, decaying in the earth? Me. Who watched their flesh, their blood, their little baby girl get washed away, far beyond I can ever reach, somewhere I can't protect her. Me!" He cried, he screamed. His throat was raw, his heart was raw, his soul was bleeding before her. "Don't you dare tell me to live, when a large part of me died in that ocean. You don't know, you can't begin to understand." He stared at her hard, not once looking away before.. "Just..." He sighed softly then, dropping his head as if all life fell out of him. "Just leave me alone, Astrea..." He whispered in his broken voice, turning away from her to move back to his den. "Burn Baby Burn"

Astrea almost hummed when he rounded on her, this was good, even if it was anger and directed at her it was SOME emotion, not that sad broken husk that was once her brother. But she kept her face passive, letting the anger burn in her eyes, knowing that what Voltage needed at this moment was a firm hand, he needed someone to point out that he was being a right ass. "But you are acting like them!" And she meant it, whatever lead their parents to toss them out it was parallel to giving up. They gave up on them, they let them go as a loss cause... And that is what is happening with little Illume. "You are giving up on her like they did with us! Do you not see it? She may be gone because of a accident but the end result is the same, she is out there ALONE, and you have given up on finding her!" And again Astrea had no doubt in her mind that little Illume was alive, no doubt that she was fighting to get back to them... The Star Dreamer had to believe that, she had no other choice. "Instead you turn into this sad creature that I do not recognize. You are not acting like the energy our family is built on..." Sadness again filled her voice. "Do you not see Volt? Do you not see that if you give up we are ALL lost!? You build us, gave us purpose, kept us sane. You showed a little girl lost in the shadows that she could shine as bright as the sun... Without you I would still be there, I would still be lost in the shadows and I would have already flown away to be with the stars." And that was true, she was lost those first few years, so lost. None of her siblings even realize how close their youngest sibling was to just stop resisting the pull that even today tugged at her. "You where the only one that kept me grounded, YOU. And what do you think will happen when more of our family are born? We need you to not give up, little Illume NEEDS you to NEVER stop looking for her, even if we are old and on our last legs, we should never stop looking..." Astrea felt the sadness pull on her again as the anger seemed to bleed away from her. She was about to start crying again when Voltages next words hit her... She did not understand the ever crushing emotion of loss? She narrowed her eyes at him, anger again blazing in her. "Tread carefully brother, for nothing is as black and white as you seem to think it is." Her voice has grown cold in that one instant. Never before has she gotten that tone before, before her journey she did not even know how to make her voice so cold. Things have changed her, things that both strengthened her light and then the darkness in her. "Did you not even wonder what happened to me when I was away from the family?" And that was the rub frankly. No one has truly asked what happened when Astrea was away, no one. They all seemed to take things at face value, they all seemed to think that she had not seen or done anything dark. "I went to that island, Volt. I smelled the blood... Saw the violence..." Saw it in the very air around the home that she once ran in. She may not have seen the blood with her eyes but saw it in the energy of her puphood home. Then she had passed out, just keeled over in the very cave they had been killed in. That was where the nightmares she had came from, she could feel the energy that went into the night, she felt the darkness of those who committed the crime. But she would not tell her brother that, he did not need anymore darkness from her, did not need that worry that the youngest of them was silently waging a war against herself. "You do not have a monopoly on loss Voltage, you are not the only one who feels that a piece of themselves are gone. Do not pretend that for a second. I have lived my whole life with that feeling..." And she had, She felt that disconnect, felt alone in the world even though she was surrounded by family... "But despite that I fought the urge to just toss myself into the air and fly to the stars because I KNEW my family cared for me. Knew they would be sad if I was gone... But yet the strongest one of us has given up, seemingly without much of a fight because she has not even been gone a whole season..." She had came down from her anger but it still simmered, the darkness still shadowing her pale eyes. "I do not see the brother I adore when I look at you, Voltage." And then her mind changed from the one who did not seem to want her help to the child that others have given up on. "If you wont do anything, I will. I will find her and bring her back home." Why did it seem that Astrea was the only one out of all of them that believed in others to a fault, she believed their parents loved them to the day they died and now it seemed she was the only one who thought that little Illume was still out in the world, the only one who believed that she was alive. "I cannot force you to live, Voltage." She was back to being cold with him, not using the familiar nick name. "But I do know that if you give up to your sadness and let the waves wash you under than not only did we lose little Illume, but we lost the ground work that holds this family afloat, you wallowing and giving up on life not only condemns yourself but every single one of our family. I never thought of you as weak Voltage, but all I see now is weakness." Astrea turned then, nodding to her bird companion, knowing that she was still going to go and find little Illume. Her niece needed her and it seemed that Volt did not. No he was committed to willow in his darkness, only thinking about himself, letting not only his daughter down by every single wolf in the family down.