He didn't suppose an apology would be enough. As he paced back and forth in front of the den, his heart ached terribly. What right had he done to pull a private matter public. Zephyra was his rock, she kept him grounded - and he hadn't consulted her at all. Gods strike him now, he was a fool in that sense. Yet he did truly believe... Ren did not care for his sisters as they had cared for him. Ears pulled back against his skull. It had been a bit, and he knew he needed to talk with her. Talk it out, he wanted to hear her frustration he wanted to hear how much he had hurt her so he wouldn't do it again. He knew how important family was to her, after all his fell apart and maybe he had been jealous. He was a control freak after all. He raised his head to call her and sat. The only think he feared truly.... was her. It was a godly fear after all, his wife was frustrated and it was his fault all and again. After all it was harder to forgive, and he was sure he probably could have Zephyra talk with Ren rather than himself. His head lowered in slight defeat. There would be no prayer to the gods to save him. He only hoped from the bottom of his heart Zephyra could find it in herself to forgive him. "Talk" "You" Think

She hadn't thought about him lately. All she had been doing was trying to block him out of her thoughts. She didn't want to think about him. Sometimes it worked, sometimes she couldn't forget about him and the cluster of emotions that followed. She had tried to sort the situation out with her sisters (only the gods knew when she would finally summon the courage to face her brother), steering well away from the male and even moving back to her old den for the time being. Though she kept herself occupied, it just wasn't working. She couldn't cut him out. And today was the day that she would have to face him. At the time of his call, she was snug in her old nook, refusing to bother with the outside world. If the two alphas couldn't even work together to make mere decisions, then she supposed there was no point attending to her duties. Obviously she didn't matter. They could carry on without here. So in saying that, she ignored his call, continuing to sit on her rear. If he had woken up in his right mind and wanted to apologise, then she expected him to approach her himself. "Talk"

For a moment he could swear he almost couldn't see straight. The whole situation had left him in a tizzy, he hadn't seen Zephyra in days maybe a glance and that was enough to make his heart simply want to stop beating. As stupid as it sounded.... she was the only one the only one he could not lose. If he found himself drifting he didn't know what he would do. His stumbling paws rose and he sought out her scent, tripping over whatever was in front of him. It was less then graceful as he finally found her since his nose didn't seem to be working through all the emotions. Of course she was mad, and it wasn't just her that deserved an apology. All of the sisters did, but what hurt most of all - was he still entirely felt Ren had abandoned them where they needed him most. "I would simply apologize my I know no amount of sorry could make up....." he started as he rose himself. He sat down though, his head lowered between his shoulders lined up that way. Shameful really. "I didn't like any of it, I didn't like how the wolves of the pack came to defend me, and I didn't like how I treated you as if you had no say. You are just as I am. This pack is yours, not consulting you... it was wrong." Rivaxorus breathed harshly as his eyes looked at her. "I hope you can forgive me Zephyra, me and Ren have had problems from the start and I tried, I tried really hard to give him a chance and he just stepped all over me. He led me to believe that he didn't give a rats ass about any of you and I was scared something would happen that would end up hurting you all." he strained his eyes. "I gave him a choice, to stay or leave so whatever he does is up to him. But I never... I never want you to feel like this again. I... suck." he clamped his teeth together. "The only thing I want is for you and your siblings to feel wanted. For the one I love to have a good life as I can make it. So for that, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, and I'm sorry I let a foolish squabble burst out like that. If you can forgive me it won't happen again." his head lowered. Here he was a man at her own devices, and she could do what she wished with him. Truly, feelings were bottled up in him and he could have sworn he had something wrong in his head. Was it his mothers cursed, had something he worked so hard for been for nothing. In the end would he end up down the same path as her. "Talk" "You" Think

He arrived. She had been wanting to see him, for her eyes to explore his every divine feature. She had almost forgotten what the precise shade of his pelt was, how deep she could fall into his bicoloured gaze. Yet at the same time, she had been dreading his arrival. She didn't want to see him, dare speak to him. She wanted him to disregard her, forgot about her, just for today. The myriad of emotions brought a churning feeling in the pit of her stomach. And when she caught a whiff of his scent, the butterflies returned. Her breathing quickening. Her heart leapt into her throat. She was almost paralysed. When she could sense his presence, looming over her, she didn't dare meet his gaze. But she listened, listened to what he had to say. She was too busy concentrating on her own breathing and the pounding in her chest that she occasionally zoned in and out from his speech. He didn't mean for it to happen...this was her pack as well...he had done it for her protection, like Ren was a legitimate threat to Myriad. What bull. "And you kept this all a secret from me?" "Talk"

He had gotten too far into his head. "Yes." his body shivered. From his rambling earlier he finally took a seat. Shaking his head as he lowered it, what a fool. He knew fully well he had been a fool. Too ahead of his time. "I was selfish, I believed you'd simply be mad at me if I told you. I thought I was protecting you, but obviously I wasn't doing it right... I should have just talked to you in the first place." Rivaxorus gave a sigh. "I planned to properly apologize to all of you, Nixie, Kaitlyn and most especially Ren." his two different colored orbs looked her over. "You of all wolves I should have consulted.... you are my guide above all others. I made a serious mistake and I can hardly believe it.... I was just... stupid." He held back his tears. His thoughts running quickly, was he exactly like his mother then. He didn't say this out loud. He didn't want to think he would be insane like she was. Rivaxorus scraped his paws into the dirty. He shut up then, waiting for Zephyra to speak. If she needed a day she could have it, a day not to think about him. As long as she was alright, he just wanted to hear what she wanted. Perhaps he could change himself for the better. "Talk" "You" Think

He was honest. Late, but honest. Assuming she would only be mad was an understatement. He had crossed so many lines - lines she had never thought he would dare cross, lines he shouldn't have to cross, even for her own protection. But he had, and the past was just that. How could he consider lying to her, like as if he had to hide the truth, especially with a subject directly involving her? No, she couldn't trust him, at least not at this moment. How was she to know he wouldn't turn his back yet again; he could even be hiding more secrets from her right now. A sigh escaped her lips, closing her eyes for a moment. Her tone was even, careful not to display any emotion. "How do you expect to fix this? You make me look like the biggest clown in alpha history." She still had flashbacks from that day. Why hadn't he been able to keep his mouth shut and hold onto the issue for a more private consultation? The entire pack knew, and no doubt were they laughing at their little scene on the day of the meeting. Myriad just seemed like a huge flop. Perhaps they weren't fit to lead a pack if they couldn't even cooperate together. "Talk"

"No...my mother would be the biggest clown in history." He muttered. "I'm going to apologize to everyone including Ren, and if any member so much as says bad about your name I'm more than willing to shut their mouths. I don't think they realize how important you really are." Rivaxorus eyes narrowed, "You are probably majority of the reason this pack keeps up." The male took a deep breath. He needed to think clearly - he crossed things he wasn't supposed to cross. His mind was in all sorts of places it shouldn't have been. A huge mistake and order needed to be restored. "Why don't I let you run the meetings from now on? And anything and everything I'll let you know what's been going on. I've been so afraid of getting rejected I'm becoming the complete opposite of what I wanted to be. I already apologized to Kaitlyn.... and Nixie I was thinking of making her a gift as well." he thought momentarily over it. Then looked at Zephyra. Straight into her eyes, even with his heart pounding against his chest. He needed her to trust him, even if it wasn't straight away. Yet he needed her to believe that he was here for her. "Please... trust my Zephyra. I will do whatever it takes, I understand how you feel because I would have done the exact same thing if it were my brother. I will not and can not keep anything from you anymore. You're the one person whose ever been there for me anyway." he said as his eyebrows furrowed. "Talk"

The queen raised a brow in mock surprise. Oh, so she wasn't the biggest clown, and his own mother was? That was for history to decide. And whether he was forgiven or not, that was her decision. She could forgive him, right here and then, and put it all beside them. It was the easiest option, though perhaps not the most effective. She wanted him to think about his actions, to dwell on the past - and the possibilities that the future may bring. Then would she forgive him, when she knew she could trust him, rely on him. First, he would apologise to everyone, including Ren. Hmm, it seemed sufficient. Sometimes apologies weren't enough, especially to her, though it was the thought that counted, she supposed. He even admitted that it was mostly her keeping the pack afloat, and before she could interject, he concluded - almost hesitantly - that she would carry out the meetings from now on. My, this was even more interesting. What was next? Stepping up from secondary alpha? A good call, nonetheless. Only matters they both agreed on would be raised at the following meetings. "If anyone remains in Myriad," she murmured to herself, almost inaudible to his ears. "Talk"