Avalon

The fight had ended in Mercy's favor, but Avalon didn't care. While her wounds throbbed and ached and bled, she had her mind on another matter. She sent Tan ahead to have Vereux prepare his medicines, while she would seek out her son. Some of the things Mercy had said did not go ignored. She sang like a songbird, giving away information that she was pretty sure she wasn't meant to find out. She still didn't know why the hell the white bitch had shown up to her borders besides picking a fight, but it didn't matter now. If she stepped foot into her lands again, she would have a lot more on her plate to deal with than just her. Next time, she would get what she asked for and would have the chance to take on the three wolves she claimed she could beat. With a determined gait, her entire demeanor right now screamed authority. She was seething, but her face betrayed nothing of the sort. In fact, she held the icy calm that she had before the fight with Mercy. While she was indeed furious, she would keep it hidden for now. The alphess made her way to where the meetings were usually held, and once there, she would climb atop her usual perch before sending out a demanding call for Lykos. She was sick of the constant abuse, so to speak. She had made him the heir because she trusted him, but now, perhaps she had been wrong to all this time. Now, she would confront him about it all.

A large frown was on Lykos’ face when he stumbled across a familiar scent - one that should not have been within the borders of Ivalice. Mercy. He felt conflicted then; should he be angry? She was trespassing. At the same time, the respect he had for her told him that no, he shouldn’t. Bt another part of him didn’t care about that - she invaded, broke the laws, and that was not okay. No matter what. He growled quietly as he stood there, before shaking himself and heading towards where the scent came from - from outside the borders, of course. How she’d managed to get this far without anyone noticing was absolutely beyond him, and it troubled him that she did it at all. Why? Why did she trespass? That just causes issues, and Lykos didn’t understand one bit.

It was when his mother’s scent suddenly intertwined with Mercy’s that he began to truly worry. He couldn’t see the border, not yet; he was still pretty far out… but it was clear that earlier his mother was doing the exact same thing - tracking Mercy. Was Mercy alright? It didn’t even occur to him that his mother might not be; he just expected her to be fine.

Before he could investigate, a strong, almost angry call sounded for him - and only him. His eyes narrowed in the direction of the call. What the hell was going on? Why was he being called? And why that tone of voice? He was absolutely confused, uncertain, and a little whisper of fear struck him. Not only that, but it was coming from the meeting place as well.

He turned away from the scent trail, eying it, and wishing he could get closer to the border, see what happened, but he was not wanting to risk the wrath of Avalon for that… and he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to know what happened. Though, he might find out anyways, depending on what the hell Avalon was calling him for. Shaking his head again, he headed off towards her.

When he arrived, he immediately knew something was wrong - physically, and mentally. The smell of blood saturated the air, and his steps grew more hurried until he broke through the undergrowth, and caught sight of Avalon’s face. The blankness, the stone look on her face was an immediate sign - unlike him, she didn’t normally keep such an expression; the fact she was meant she was hiding something, and it was either anger or sorrow. He figured anger; had it been something sorrowful, it likely wouldn’t be so soon after him finding Mercy’s scent and certainly not that tone in her voice when she called.

That was brushed away quickly when he saw Avalon’s shoulder, ripped, bleeding, mangled. It would scar badly, he knew, just from looking at it, and he knew Avalon needed to see a healer. Even if it was Vereux. “Your shoulder.” He started, part of the typical facade he kept up slipping and showing the worry that flashed underneath. He didn’t ask what happened - he didn’t want to know that answer one bit. Instead, he focused on other things. What should he do? Moss of some sort, maybe? To stop the bleeding? He scanned the trees then, looking for some sort of moss; the wound was still bleeding and had to be taken care of. Arrgh, where was moss? And why the hell had his mother called him before getting herself taken care of?

"Speech" | Think

ooc note for the curious:  the posts in this thread were pre-typed by Kea and pasted in by me

Avalon

She waited for who knew how long. Each second that ticked by felt like minutes to her, her leg beginning to shake as it bled. She figured she didn't have a chance against a more experienced fighter, but she wasn't simply going to stand there and do nothing while the bitch insulted her, along with trespassing and completely disrespecting her boundaries. What kind of alpha would she have been if she let every outsider do whatever they wanted to her lands or to her and her pack members? Anyone in their right mind would have tried to do something, and not just stand there. She knew if any of her clan mates were to have found Mercy, they certainly would not have sat idle as soon as they caught her scent. Except for maybe Lykos...especially with the way Mercy seemed to talk about him. She wondered then, just how close they were to each other. Had he discovered what happened? What would he have done if he'd been the one to find her instead? Questions reeled through her mind, scenarios at the things he might or might not do. And not one she could put faith in, because she wasn't even sure that she could trust him after what she'd been told. She had tried her best in the fight. But Mercy had fought dirty, not a shred of honor in that woman. And yet, she feared that was the type of wolf that he looked up to. She could only hope otherwise, but the doubt plagued her mind the way her wound would surely bring a new scar to her form. Although her wound would heal and leave behind a mark on her skin, her son's potential betrayal would forever mark her heart. Her heart pounded as she waited, and finally, she could scent him nearby. Amber gaze found him as soon as he entered the clearing, her features remained stony, though she betrayed nothing within her gaze. She had not been in the greatest of moods since the meeting, and this had only worsened it even further. The dark boy would approach, commenting on her shoulder and almost immediately she felt like her hackles wanted to rise in anger, but she forced them to stay down…for now at least. "My shoulder is fine.” Obviously, it wasn't. But it was the least of her concerns at this point in time. Her voice was hard, but not overly so. She would see Vereux after this confrontation, and she refused to budge until then. She would say nothing for a minute or two, simply staring at him as she thought about what to say first. Surely he knew Mercy was lurking around? Why else had she come slinking in? And if he didn't, then he would figure it out if he hadn't already. “It seems we've had a special visitor. But I assume you know this already.” Her voice carried a slight growl. Surely he'd found Mercy's scent? He did just come from that direction, after all.

Lykos had not known the meaning of fearful apprehension until that very moment. He eyed his mother, starting to feel that whisper of fear and dread that made him not want to be there at all. It wasn’t until she spoke, her voice cold and hard that his ears flattened completely, and he struggled to keep full control of his composure. It was slipping, though, and his entire face showed the intense worry he felt. “No, it’s not,” he argued. How could she say such a thing? It clearly wasn’t! She’d have a hard time moving the shoulder, probably, if it wasn’t healed… and there was so much blood; that amount of blood could not be okay.

The silence was starting to get to him, and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he tried to let an iron shell encase his mind. Where was that control he was so fond of? Slipping away, but in the face of his gravely wounded mother it was hard to think anything else would happen. Still, he was worried. What happened? Who did that? Did he even want to know who did that? What was wrong the other way? Why had she called for him, instead of going straight to a healer? Even if it was Vereux. At this point, he didn’t give a damn, so long as someone healed his mother. The amount of blood was alarming - he really, really, really didn’t want to see his mother die, or be crippled because of… whatever she was confronting him with.

That too made him slightly annoyed - why the fuck was she here? What could be so important that she would neglect herself in such a manner? It was utterly unlike her to ignore a wound like that; it was utterly illogical as well, because she was hurting herself more the longer she took to get it fixed. He couldn’t imagine the amount of pain that must have; thinking about it made him unconsciously flex his own shoulder.

When she finally spoke, nearly growling, he had to fight the urge to fold his ears back, and it partially failed, his ears folding about halfway. That made fear and apprehension return. Was it… Mercy who did that? Their scents mingled not too far from the border, and it was fairly recent. That was the only thing that made sense… but he pushed it away, not wanting to face that, wanting to deny it. “Yes.” He said nothing more, not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t know what to say. That he hated the fact that she did that? That he was torn between being angry and not? That he would have had no idea what to do had he found her first? What was the point in saying any of that? That he had no earthly idea as to why she called him to tell him this? That he had no idea what she was trying to get at? What was the point in saying any of that? No, he’d not say anything more, and would just wait for the details that were sure to come.


"Speech" | Think

Avalon

She watched him squirm beneath her intense gaze. The aura she was radiating had no doubt, put him on edge. She too, fought the urge to break this new side of her. But it would be the pain that kept her nailed to it. The pain that she felt physically, mentally, and emotionally. A triple threat if there ever was one. This was her trinity. This was a new feeling, especially now. Before, she'd felt only two. And that was the emotional and mental pain when the boy's father had abandoned her. She cared not whether he was worried about her injuries. In time, they would heal and a scar would be left in its wake. That was what Mercy had wanted. And it was what Avalon got for trying to better the lives of her family. To try and better his life. The one who stood before her. And she could tell, his control was slipping. He did not hold the usual stony look, nor the arrogance nor confidence he so usually held. He was but a pup in her eyes, and whatever happened here and now would determine their future. She loved her babies, all of them. And the more she thought about it, the more her heart started to shatter into millions of tiny pieces. And yet...he had only a single word to say. Taking a deep breath, she took a small bit of weight off of her injured shoulder, her fur matted with blood. And yet, her stance did not waver. She refused to fall. “Yes? That is all you have?” Did he not get a clue as to what had happened? The bitch sang. Gave him away. Ratted him out. All after waltzing right into their territory and disrespecting their lands. It would not be over, no. Avalon would make sure the woman paid. And while she wasn't one for revenge, nor holding grudges, it was much different when someone interfered with the family she had worked so hard for. But it seemed, Lykos had taken after his father. A betrayer. It was in this moment, that her mind was convinced. And while they knew nothing about Newol for she refused to speak of him around them, she had hoped they wouldn't pick anything up from that traitor. Someday, that conniving bastard would get what was coming to him, by any means necessary and she'd go through any length to make him pay one way or another. And yet...here stood one black sheep out of the flock. “So, if you know...care to tell me what might have happened?” Of course, she would tell him exactly what happened. But first, she wanted to know what he guessed first.

And she just tossed his words to the side. She didn’t even respond to his arguing, not even caring and he just did not understand. It angered him, and his ears flattened fully at that point. “Why do you not care?” he snapped, worry making him lash out verbally. He didn’t get it. Why didn’t she care? Why was she brushing his words off? What was wrong with her? “What is wrong with you?” Perhaps he shouldn’t say that, but it was too late now. The words were already out, and the words were hissed in frustration from in between gritted teeth. “You need to get that looked at, the blood stopped. Whatever this,” this meaning the conversation at hand, “is about, can wait!”

And yet, she talked. She had a problem with his answer. What was wrong with his answer? “What else would you have me say?” What else did he need to say. What answer was she looking for? He couldn’t read minds! He didn't understand everything she tried to do! Why the hell did she seem to expect him to know what was going on, because he had no fucking clue what was going on. It seemed she just wanted to keep him guessing, and that frustrated him all the more. “I don’t care what happened, Mother!” he growled. “Stop with the guessing games, and start caring about what’s actually important!” They weren’t necessary; they were pointless; they wasted time, and yet here she was, doing that anyway because she wasn’t doing the smart thing and getting that shoulder wrapped up.


"Speech" | Think

Avalon

She watched him carefully. Watched as he went from one reaction to the next. The flattening of his ears, to the obvious frustration he began to pour from him. And yet, all she did was watch him as his questions tumbled out of his mouth. And subconsciously, her hackles would begin to rise as each question was put between them. She fought herself, trying to keep the snarl and bared teeth from showing. It felt like she was warring with herself --Alphess and mother-- clashing on opposite sides. She hated this feeling, hated it with a passion. But which side did she take? Which side was the right one to choose? Between duty to the pack by dealing with what she felt was betrayal, and her duty as a mother to deal with this in a manner only a mother might be able to solve… She was torn. So she let him say what he wanted, let his questions fall from his lips and left them unanswered until the end. Because she knew that if she answered in between, her anger would not allow him to finish. Finally, when he was done, she responded. “I care more than you think! I always have, and I've always tried to do my best for you all!” She spat, her emotions beginning to spill over and take control. “My shoulder is the least of my concerns! It will heal, and it will scar. That is what Mercy wanted!” She was breathing heavily now. Not from pain nor exhaustion from her fight, no. But from the emotions that threatened to boil over the surface. “You ask me what is wrong with me, but I should be asking you that question, Lykos!” Her hackles were lifted, though she had tried to will them not to and failed. “Evidently you've told her things. What lies did you tell her? She strongly believes that you'd be a better alpha than I, so tell me. Have I been such a bad mother all this time to you? All the time I spent raising you alone because your father decided to leave and abandon us the moment you were born? I did everything I could to give you a good life, that is why Ivalice stands!” She was failing. And she felt she was failing in more ways than one. Maybe she did fail as a mother. And maybe she was failing as an alpha, too. “Is this how I am repaid? Have I been so terrible that you'd follow in the footsteps of betrayers and wolves like Mercy? With little respect? Do you think I can be walked all over?” Her tail lashed, the anger clear. Never had she felt this sort of anger, not since the day Valentine had found her in a rage over Newol. “You spend so much thought on the chance that Vereux is a traitor, when he has done nothing to you or the clan! Yet here you stand...you're a contradiction to yourself.”

Silence. All he received was silence. The questions poured from him, one after another, each with space for her to respond… and silence. Silence, and yet with every second he saw her fur rise higher and higher with restrained anger. What was wrong with his questions? What was wrong with her? And when she finally answered, when she finally spoke, her words simply reaffirmed that something was beyond wrong. That what she said had nothing to do with what he meant. He didn’t mean in the least what she just spat out angrily. It wasn’t until the next flurry of words that she actually addressed what he meant, and that was when his ears pressed as far back as they could possibly go.

It was also when his heart and breath nearly stopped. He’d been trying to ignore it, trying to ignore what he knew in his heart had happened. That his mother and Mercy had fought, and that left him torn between two conflicting worlds. He didn’t know what to say, but it didn’t seem like he needed to say anything. She went on, and he simply listened, not understanding why she was so damned angry. Why should she be asking him that question? He didn’t need to wonder long; she answered his silent question quickly enough… accusing him of telling lies.

He growled low in his throat, not loud enough for Avalon to hear, but distinct to himself. Lies? He had told no lies! Her words after that made him stiffen, and it was the anger in him, the confusion, the upsetness, and the frustration that once again granted him the ability to place himself on lockdown, and abruptly his face smoothed of everything but cold steel, despite the inner turmoil. Lies? What did Mercy mean - him, a better alpha? What the hell happened between them? This… this guilting that his mother was doing. A bad mother? What the hell led her to that conclusion? That entire thing. Why? What? He didn’t understand - what had led her to believe that anything such as this were thoughts in his mind? They were not, though he doubted her and thought that her decisions regarding Vereux were stupid.  But what did that have to do with anything?

He stiffened. How she was repaid? Him - follow in the footsteps of betrayers? And what the fuck was wrong with Mercy? Walking over her? Since when had he ever done that? She was full-on calling him a traitor. And for what? Talking to Mercy?

He felt hurt, and it was a struggle to keep it from showing, but he clamped it down. Anger overpowered it; the anger at being called a traitor. Anger at being told that Vereux had done nothing, and he was no better than what Vereux had done to Katja and Yfir. “If,” he growled low in his throat, his voice tight and controlled, “that is what you think I am, then perhaps I am better off in the company of a wolf that does not accuse me of being a traitor with no evidence. If this is how things are supposed to be, then I want no part in what Ivalice stands for.”


"Speech" | Think

Avalon

His words brought a growl to her. Audible, and unrestrained. With all that she'd said, his only response was pretty much choosing to abandon the pack to follow another that had brought all of this up. Was it wrong of her to have these sorts of thoughts when those who hurt her had put them there? She was trying to understand, and yet, his words did nothing to help it. She was angry yes, and somewhere in all of that, she had hoped that he would say something different. Hoped that he would say something to tell her she was wrong and prove that he was not a liar or a traitor. And yet...his only answer was that. Did he even know what Ivalice stood for? Or did he not care? On top of that, what did he mean by it? “I'd tell you to seek her out and ask her what happened, but clearly that would be the wrong thing to do.” Her voice toned down a bit, the anger still there but it was steeled. “You talk about evidence. But do I need anymore than what I was already told? You are guilty of going by what an outsider has said about one of our members, yet it is wrong of me to take the word of an outsider as well?” She shook her head. “You've no idea what this pack stands for. But that is not the matter.” Slowly, bit by bit, her visible anger began to subside as the exhaustion from earlier began to set in. She was tired. Tired of it all. Tired of feeling like she had to prove herself over, and over, and over again. And for what? This was where the conflict of mother and Alpha clashed. She loved Lykos with all her heart, and part of her was dying inside at what this confrontation might bring. A part of her had fallen away when his words had hit. But she fought to keep it from showing. “I will not sit here and keep you playing a guessing game.” She took a breath, trying to calm her raging emotions, mind, and heart. One day, she felt that these things would be her end. She certainly felt older than she was. And maybe, just maybe...her life would always be destined for these kinds of things. Maybe she was cursed, to live forever in misery and turmoil. Maybe...it was a curse brought on since the day her parents abandoned her. She'd been alone for years since. No family. Her siblings, parents, relatives...she'd been the only Ancora to roam for a long time. “Mercy came to pay a visit, ignoring the borders and trespassing. I confronted her, and obviously this is the result. Why she came is beyond me...though perhaps looking for you. And she told me things...made it obvious that you two have been talking.” She looked at him for a moment, gauging his reactions to this information. “You told her about Vereux. That was a matter that was to remain within these borders. I told you I would handle it, and it is not something for the whole world to know. Furthermore, she decided to continuously disrespect and insult the clan. Our home." Her tail lashed a couple of times, though she kept a reign on it as best as she could. “Tell me. Do you regret coming here? As an alpha, I have duties to see to. But as a mother, I must know things…” It was at this point, her walls were crumbling. Her heart beginning to pound with pain. “I gave you the choice to become the heir because you were the most responsible, and because I trusted you. You didn't have to accept it, and yet you did. I did not force you. But for you to break my trust like this, I don't know what to think anymore. This is how I feel...Would you really follow someone like her? Do your brothers feel the same way? Do you believe I am unfit to lead Ivalice like Mercy claimed? She certainly believed that you would do a better job...” She didn't know what else to say. She felt like the more she talked right now, the more her voice would begin to crack. And yet, she still had questions that needed answers. “Do you respect her more than me…?” She didn't want to lose him, but his answer would probably determine her decision. And yet, she felt like part of her would still try to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The growl did not faze him. He stood his ground, eyes flashing defiantly even in the face of her unrighteous (to him, anyway) anger. He did not regret his words; he wanted no part in something such as this if at the first word, he was suddenly telling lies. If at the first word, he was suddenly a traitor. It’d be one thing if he had, in the past, had been a traitor… in which case, he’d not have expected any sort of trust or faith; after all, why trust a wolf that had betrayed one pack before? That was his logic with Vereux, and it still stood with himself.

And yet, here she was, still trying to call him out, trying to tell him that he was hypocritical. If any were hypocritical it would be her, immediately jumping to assumptions and anger, when she continued to defend Vereux even when there was evidence of him actually being a traitor and actively hiding information from Avalon. “I do believe that it is your assumption that I was telling lies. Unless, of course, you were told specifically that I told lies. I do not believe that the wolf with whom you spoke with called me a traitor - that is your assumption. So no, it is not wrong for you to take the word of an outsider. It is wrong to take the word of an outsider and make your own assumptions and present that as what the outsider said. That is not what the outsider said, that is what you think. There is a distinct difference.” He wasn’t expecting the anger in his voice, and he also wasn’t expecting the amount of words that he spoke.

Thankfully, his words before finally sunk in, and she finally decided to cut the damned guessing game she tried to impose on him. She told him information he already knew, and then dropped the ball: Mercy revealed he had spoken with her. He supposed he ought to be angry by that, but he was not; after all, he had extracted no promise from Mercy. He had not expected her to say anything, but at the same time he could care less that she did. The rule which prohibited from sharing his thoughts and problems with someone outside the pack was what drove him to do so regardless; the sheer stupidity of that rule was what had infuriated him. He believed that he was not in the wrong, and that he was justified in his actions, and would stand by them. “You lost.” It was not a question, but a statement, and he stared at his mother with a cool look that was utterly devoid of any emotion. No, he’d not react. He’d maintain control over this steel that he managed to reinstate; he would not lose it again. That was a weakness, and it was not acceptable.

What he was surprised about was Mercy insulting Ivalice, and that bothered him. Why would she do such a thing? For that matter, why would she trespass? Even he, by technicality, would not be able to allow such a thing, and he likely wouldn’t, though he’d have hated confronting her himself. “I do not believe a single wolf is the whole world. If it is, then we might be in dire straits.” If she were to use such an exaggeration, then she was asking for a response such as that. “In addition to that, I also spoke to Mercy well before I uncovered any information regarding Vereux from Katja Finnvi. Besides, who else was I to speak to at that point? You?” He scoffed at the idea. “You would simply have become angry, claiming we - your children - had no reason to dislike him. You would have called me unreasonable. No, I could not talk to you.” He had simply think back to the meeting in which they first visibly showed their dislike of Vereux, and how they were all called out - even him and Gryphon, who presented things reasonably and calmly. No, Avalon had been angry, and had admonished them publicly and obviously - something that made his blood boil even now with anger. “Dragon or Kharnage? Ha! Both of them have done nothing but be bitter and hateful since I was given this position of heir. Their jealousy and idiocy knows no bounds; they would delight to see me fail, that I have no doubt about. Utterly ridiculous, because being heir means professionalism. Being heir means responsibility. Neither of which either of them would be in the least capable of doing.” Which was a severe understatement. The immaturity of his two brothers irritated him beyond belief; he thought Kharnage at least would be a bit more intelligent and more in control of himself. He knew Dragon had no hope; he knew ever since the idiot ran beyond Imperium all the way across a damned continent. “Gryphon? He would be the only option, and we did discuss it, briefly. But he is sick too often. That left me with only one other option; the wolf who I know I can trust, and the one that would let me vent without being called ridiculous or getting angry. Even if she disagreed, then she still would have let me finish, and likely have responded intelligently and without this anger that others would exhibit.” Or so he believed. Always, even when he was a pup, Mercy was patient and worked with him; even then she engaged him in conversation and let him rant about his brothers - and whatever stupid thing they were doing now - and would do so quietly. She understood, or at least, put on the front that she did.

He said nothing about the disrespect his mother said Mercy did. If she did, then Lykos would not make an excuse for her. He didn’t doubt that she did be rude; Avalon wouldn’t have been so angry otherwise. Which begs the question… why? Why was she rude? He couldn’t begin to understand that. He didn’t need to linger on it any more, because Avalon posed a question that instead made him ponder that. Did he regret coming to Ivalice? That… that was a trick question. He did and didn’t. Not Ivalice, but… “No… but I do wish Imperium never fell.” He knew that she knew that if Imperium had never fallen, he would never have come to Ivalice. He was not regretful of coming to Ivalice after Imperium fell, but he was regretful that Imperium fell at all. Given the choice, he’d rather have been in Imperium.

There, that ought to satisfy her. She said as a mother she must know, and as a son he would not lie or hide the truth. It seemed she did not hide the truth either, for she claimed he had broken her trust. His jaw tightened. How did he betray her damned trust? Talked to a wolf besides her? Trusted someone other than family who did not have a history of being a traitor to a pack? If she wanted to be offended over him trusting Mercy, then she has no right to be angry that he did not trust Vereux, even from the start before he knew about what the despicable wolf did. “And how, precisely, did I break your trust?” A growl tinted his words as he forced them out. “Because I talked to a wolf outside the pack? Because I dared to confide in a wolf who I have trusted since I was a pup? What would you have me do? Erase all my contacts from Imperium? Lock myself in Ivalice and never associate or trust or confide in a wolf not within the pack?” he demanded, fur bristling along his hackles. The idea of that was utterly ridiculous. He couldn't even fathom the logic; he just couldn’t.
Taking a deep breathe, he tried to soothe his tumultuous emotions, forcing his hackles down. It was difficult, so difficult to do. “‘Follow someone like her?’ You mean, follow someone who I can trust? Who has never let me down? Who has been there for me, taught me to fight, and has listened to me without any judgement? A wolf who uses her brain, and does not choose the first male that just so happens to wander by, not just once, but twice? A wolf who is naturally wary, and who doesn’t just believe whatever she’s told? Who doesn’t ignore signs of suspicion? Yes, yes I would. I would do more than just follow; I would run alongside a wolf like this, despite what faults they may have. I’d be there for the wolf to help her in need, I’d be there when that wolf was upset and unhappy. I’d walk with this wolf day and night, because I know, whatever shortcomings, that this wolf cares and it is someone who I can trust. It is a wolf whom my strengths may counter her weaknesses, and vice versa. Yes, I would accompany ‘someone like her’ with little hesitation.”

Maybe that would open his mother’s eyes. To see what she was doing. All the frustration, all the anger that he ever felt at Avalon just poured out of him, until he felt utterly exhausted. Her question still remained unanswered - was she fit to lead Ivalice? He believed he did have that answer, even if it seemed contradictory to what he had said so far. “No. In that, Mercy was wrong. You are fit to lead Ivalice. You can lead it, and competently. But you are not the sort of leader I desire, that I can follow.” There. It was said. The thought that had been teasing at the back of his mind for two seasons now. The thought he first confessed to Mercy, back in mid-winter. The thought that had not left his mind since, and had lurked at the edge even more so after he talked to Katja. There it was, the truth in full color, fully admitted.

Unfortunately for him, that was not the end. He was confronted with another question, and he hated it with a passion. It made him hesitate - he didn’t know the answer to that question. Did he? Or did he not? He wasn’t certain. On one hand, there was a certain amount of respect automatically accorded to Avalon. There were some things he didn’t respect about her at all, though, but the same was true with Mercy, who gained his respect from the bottom up. However, if what Avalon said was true about the insults, and he knew with the trespassing… then he could not possibly respect Mercy for that. Which left… a complete stalemate. “No,” he answered finally, his tone firm and decisive. It wasn't until he spoke that he actually knew the answer. “I do not. I respect both of you equally.” Just for different things. And for different things he did not respect them, too. It was just how it was. Their strengths… and their weaknesses determined that.


"Speech" | Think

Avalon

She waited for a response, and she got a decent earful. Which was expected from him as usual. Her ears flattened the more he spoke, and truthfully, she wasn't entirely sure how to react. But react she did. “It is my assumption, just as it was yours. You spoke with Katja and what he did was in the past in an entirely different pack. He has done nothing to betray us. That is what you don't understand.” She'd spoken to Bass about this already, and while it was true that Vereux had a history, who didn't? That was why she didn't give him the rank of secondary. But before she could comment on that, he said she'd lost. Well no shit. “Obviously. A blind wolf could see that!” She growled. Then he told her he'd spoken with Mercy before finding Katja, that he couldn't talk to her, his own mother. Her hackles lifted once again. “You claim this yet not once did you even try to talk to me about how you felt! Instead, you ran off to whine to someone else!” How was she supposed to understand anything when they didn't tell anything until moments like this? It was frustrating beyond belief. And the more he talked, the more the mother and Alpha began to clash inside once more. “Why do you think I didn't give him the position of secondary? Why do you think I haven't forced you to like him? All I've asked is for you to try, and you still refuse.” Her voice grew deathly calm again. And this time, she would not lose it. “If one's past defines them. Then I'll leave your past to define you. This meeting here will be in the past tomorrow, and it will follow you.” That, she would make sure. But not now, she would wait. Then the boy went on to his brothers, blatantly insulting them and claiming they'd be horrible at it. She narrowed her eyes, teeth baring. So, it seemed he wasn't as family oriented as she had once thought. “At least they were loyal to their family. While you decided to stay in Imperium until it fell! I believe your brothers would do a much better job, and do more with the title. You make little effort to get to know the other members. Being the heir isn't all business and professionalism, Lykos. It wasn't a title given to you to force you to grow up.” But for whatever reason, he seemed to think that. “Perhaps your brothers aren't jealous, but angry because I gave you -- the one who stayed behind -- the title of heir instead of one of them, who have been loyal since the beginning of Ivalice. But instead, I chose to give an arrogant boy the rank. And you obviously weren't ready for it.” Everything that he was saying hurt her to no end. And whether or not her words even fazed him was beyond her. He had put up that guard again, the one that she despised to no end. It was the same shit his father did before he up and left. And now, here stood her son...following that same path. Then he brought up that he wished Imperium hadn't fallen. “Nor I.” Truly, she respected Valentine. And even now still sought him out for advice once in awhile. He'd ask her then, how he'd broken her trust. But before she could find an answer, he spewed question after question, even going as far as saying he would follow such a wolf. And then...insults. At least, to her it sounded very much like insults. She froze up then. Everything beginning to lock itself down. So...he thought she simply went for the first wolf she saw? Thought she didn't use her brain? Her entire demeanor switched from hurt to an icy anger. Her emotions completely unreadable now. Her gaze was cold. Stony. “So, that's what you think.” She stood there, unmoving as she stared down at him. “You think I am some stupid whore? Because that is what I heard. I did not simply go after the first male I saw. Your father and I had known each other for quite a long time before you were born, and just like you, I apparently didn't know either of you well enough. It's clear who you take after.” She spoke in such a calm manner, it frightened her. Never before had she managed to tame her emotions like this before, but here it was. “And Vereux, I'd known him for a time before you were born as well. So you're assumptions of me are wrong. But it doesn't matter now, it's obvious where you stand.” Her mind began to tick, the gears turning as he spoke again, and even when he responded to her question about respect, she didn't care anymore. He'd completely broken her heart. It was Newol all over again. She hadn't been able to forgive him, even now. But what about Lykos? He wasn't what she thought he was. He made her feel like she failed time, and time, and time again. Maybe he was the cursed child. The one that would tear her heart up. “If all of this is truly how you feel, then so be it.” And then, the alphess in her kicked in. She could not trust him anymore. He had shown his true colors. He didn't trust her one bit to talk to her, except for when it came to Vereux. But not once did he ever come to her to talk about what was on his mind. No. He confided in a bitch that was completely disrespectful. And while Avalon was not the kind of Alpha that Valentine had been, perhaps that would change today. That was how she felt. But she would not voice it. If it was truly what he'd thought, fine. The only thing good that had come from Newol were her sons. And even now, even as her gaze locked on this one, despite how hurt and broken she was feeling...she couldn't say that she regretted the day he was born. Because she knew that no matter what, as a mother, she'd always love him. And that was where the conflict began. “I've always tried to give you the best life that I could. But since that wasn't enough for you, since this family means nothing to you...then I guess I have no choice but to act as an alpha.” Not once did her voice slip. Not once did her demeanor change. She kept the unreadable expression. It was foreign to her, something that was not a part of her at all. She felt like a stranger to herself. This...this wasn't her. But circumstances had brought her to a point she never even thought she would be capable of reaching. She had always been so reasonable, understanding, forgiving, and many other things. But this...this had broken her beyond repair. “Perhaps I'll never be the kind of alpha you want to follow. Which in turn, leads me to believe you are not the loyal type. As such, I strip you of the rank of Heir.” Step one. If she couldn't trust him, then neither could the clan. She couldn't have someone she felt was disloyal in a position like that. Who knew what kinds of things someone like that would try to do…”While I am not Valentine, nor do I wish to be...I will not simply let someone act as they do. Even if it's my own child. Therefore, you are demoted to Insubordinate. Hate me you may, but it is my duty as an alpha to punish those who show clear disloyalty and disrespect.” Step two...gain a bit of control, at least. He had plenty of freedom before, and for whatever reason, he had felt like she had confined him. Now though, his freedom was slightly restricted. He'd have more duties, and would not be allowed to leave pack lands without an escort. And while she may not be the kind of leader he would willingly follow. Now, he had no choice. Perhaps, this would show him that she was more than he thought she was. She cared not what he had to say after this. And she was very much ready to end this conversation and find Vereux. Her wound had stopped bleeding, but the exhaustion had begun to take its toll. And still, she refused to show it. He could argue all he wanted. But he'd proven where he stood. She wouldn't hold him there forever. But perhaps enough for a little life lesson. It would be a temporary sentence, his behavior would potentially determine how long, and while she debated telling him that, she wouldn't right now. Who knew if he'd try to take advantage of that and put on an act. So right now,  she was stone cold. She was the one in charge. But later, little did she know this event would break her down.

Her words made him stiffen. So, just because it was a different pack meant that it didn’t matter? That she would trust him unconditionally? Where was the intelligence in that? “So just because he’s done nothing to us yet means we should have given him our trust off the bat? No - that’s sheer idiocy.” Which, apparently, she didn’t understand. She was going to get herself killed one day, or hurt so badly she wished she was dead with the belief of that. She’ll pick up some stray outside a pack who had a history of betraying others, and will just go ‘oh it was the past’ and then they’ll betray her with no hesitation.

When she growled again, he glanced up at her face. Seems like he hit a nerve, huh? Didn’t like losing to Mercy. ‘Weak’. It was wrong for him to think that, but the thought flitted through his mind anyway. He knew, consciously, what it as; it was a subconscious yearning to grasp onto anything to keep himself in control - even contempt, if need be. He knew that later, he would think no such thing, but right now he was a creature filling up with contempt and ice, of cold steel, and so it went through his mind, and he made no move to stop it. Not yet. He needed this layer, to stay in control. He needed it to remain steel.

It was good, too, that he did so. Her next words would have angered him, but now they were merely irritating. “Do recall that this was shortly after the meeting in which you publicly chastised us for mistrusting Vereux. You in fact told us to not talk like that again - voicing our doubts and concerns about wolves. Therefore, I felt I could not go to you without being told the same thing you already told us once before. It was only natural and reasonable that I would expect a reaction all four of us had received before.” His voice sounded strange, even to him. Robotic, even. Flat, emotionless, coldly logical - not a shred of feeling was in it. It was utterly foreign; even when he was holding the shell up there was some shred of emotion, even if it was just a non-hostile neutrality. It was still something… here, right now, there was nothing.

And she moved on to threats. Still, he watched her. Almost casually, he wondered what happened. Was he just so drained from the amount of emotion that it was just… gone? It was certainly a curious phenomenon. It caused… reactions he would not otherwise have had his mind not apparently gone into lockdown mode. “Then so be it.” He sounded almost callous, uncaring. And truthfully, he was, about that. This thread about the past being held against him… as if it wouldn’t have anyway. It would have regardless. This threat was meaningless and pointless. Even he, were he not suddenly numb, would have been aware of that.

Her next words, though, did get through the boy, and he tensed, ever so slightly. Bitterness flooded his mind, and his eyes narrowed. It seemed her words before were lies. About how it was his choice, and that she supported it. It seemed that it was indeed used against him. That he was not a loyal creature because he did not abandon the pack he had pledged himself to when he was younger. Because he did not blindly follow the family, instead choosing the pack - which had been a much better family, or so it was becoming apparent. On top of that, she claimed that she believed that the others would be better at the rank. He chuckled mirthlessly. “Then give it to them,” he answered dismissively. If she wanted to give them it so bad, then so be it. He never asked for the position. He felt like he had no choice but to take it, because he had to choose on the spot - and he did not want to be a disappointment by not taking it. He also did not want to lower Avalon’s credibility publicly… of course, she turned around and ruined their credibility. Him, and his brothers’. He saw, now, that perhaps he should have rejected it, without giving any fucks towards what the pack thought about her and her decisions.

It was clear her words hit a nerve when she froze and an ice entered her demeanor. He watched quietly, simply staring at her. A stupid whore? No, that involved screwing every male she ever saw, not just the ones who wanted to screw her. Know her mates she claimed to, but apparently not well enough to know that one would ditch her, and the other was a traitor and oathbreaker. It was obvious that any words to clarify his words would not be listened to, so he said nothing… even when she compared him to a traitor and someone who ran. Anger crossed his face, though none of the hurt did; if she thought that he took after either man she took as a mate she was highly mistaken.

More anger could be glimpsed when she went on about him not caring about family. Since fucking when? Was it because he believed two of his brothers were idiots? How the fuck did that mean he did not care? He growled low in his throat, his eyes fixated on her, like pieces of sharp flint. More of it - her, not being the alpha he wished for… which in turn made him disloyal? The fuck? If she wanted to insult him, that was certainly the way to do it - the low, warning rumble had not eased, and still sounded deep in his throat as he was stripped of the Heir title. That he actually did not give a damn about… but he sure as hell cared about what she said before.

It was that realization that made him realize - he did care, and he was currently letting his guard down. Abruptly, the growl stopped, and the anger disappeared in a rush as a suspiciously blank face smoothed across his face. She went on to say he was demoted to Insubordinate - and it was there he laughed. Derisive, almost mocking (but not quite) laughter. “No, mother, I will not be demoted to ‘Insubordinate’. I will not be demoted to anything, for as of this moment I declare that I am leaving Ivalice. I thought you’d hear and understand what I was saying before - again, you are not the sort of leader I want, or the sort of leader I want to follow. Have I made myself clear now?” He certainly hoped so. And if she dared stop him, if she dared to forbid him from leaving, then she would grow to regret such a decision.

"Speech" | Think

Avalon

At this point, everything else that he said had gone ignored. She was done standing here and speaking to a disrespectful brat. At least, she felt that that's what he was acting like now. Then again, they were both running on high emotions. At least she was, and she'd been fighting to gain control for a while now. The anger and coldness she felt was foreign to her, and despite her aching heart, some part of her refused to let it go. Subconsciously, she knew too that she would come to realize just what had happened. Perhaps act and think more rationally, but right now? She was so stressed out and angry and stuck among so many different emotions that it was clouding her mind. Never before had she gotten this way, and never had she let anything rile her up so much that she made irrational decisions, let alone decisions made because of anger. She was always thinking rationally, always nonjudgmental...when had that gone away? Her only thought once again, was Newol. It was his fault. He led her to trust him and when she did, he tore it away. Heart pounding painfully against her chest, she needed to get away. She needed to seclude herself. Anything else he might have said went in one ear and out the other as she kept the stone cold look on her face to the best of her ability. But even as she watched him, she could tell some of what she said was getting to him. She hated this. Hated it with a passion. But what else could she do right now? Drop it all like it never happened after what was already said by both her and her son? Probably. But the anger and pride refused it. Refused to let her think rationally and refused to let her drop this...unwanted part of her. All she knew right now was pain. Physical and emotional pain. And the more she stared at Lykos, the more her chest would tighten. She couldn't look at him anymore, not right now. So when he seemed to almost demand that he would be leaving, she dismissed it almost as casually as he'd responded. “Sorry. But you'll not be leaving anywhere right now.” That was it. She didn't even want to demote him that far, but her roller-coaster of emotions and all that was said made her do it. “Be lucky you didn't hit Outcast. But continue this behavior, and you just might be the first. My decision stands. Disobey and there will be very dire consequences, and I don't want to subject you to such punishments.” All throughout, her voice remained smooth. Nonchalant. Of course, she wouldn't subject him to Outcast or even the worst of punishments...Unless he really pushed her to it. And she did not want to subject her own son to any of this…”You still have the freedom to roam, with assigned escorts. And if you choose to shirk your duties, then you'll have bigger problems on your shoulders. This conversation is over.” Her demeanor and tone indicated that she was done talking. Anything else he had to say would be wasted. That he'd best get out of her sights, and if he didn't, she'd walk away without another word regardless. Little did she know that later, she would come to her senses. She loved him, after all. He was her child, her son. And didn't a mother's love prevail over all? Perhaps. But right now, the alpha in her overrode it alongside everything else. She felt chained. Like a wolf trapped inside of a cage with nowhere to go. When did she lose herself? Where did she go wrong? The longer she stared at him, the more the answer eluded her. She'd lost herself. That was for sure. Especially now, in this moment. She felt like she was breaking into pieces, unsure if she'd ever be able to pick it all up and become whole again. Perhaps even less so with her shiny new scar. Which a throbbing pain began to find its way to the surface, pulling her from her thoughts and reminding her that she needed tending to. The adrenaline was gone now. And she was done with this for now. She needed time to think. To collect herself. And slowly, as some of the anger became replaced with exhaustion and the need to be alone, she'd look away from him. “We will revisit this later. I am done talking.” Without waiting another moment she'd turn and walk the other way. Holding herself from looking back at him, afraid to see anymore hatred in the eyes of one of her beloved children. -Exit unless stopped-

She ignored him. Every word he said, she ignored. It apparently didn’t matter to her that she was the reason he felt he couldn’t go to her. Nope, it was still his fault. Nope, it was still because he never tried. No, she completely fucking ignored what she’d done in the past, and ignored it again when he brought it up. This was his mother? A woman who would refuse to listen, instead believing that she was right regardless of what actually happened? And ignored all attempts to prove otherwise? This was his mother.

Why did he follow her to Ivalice? Why didn’t he just stay within Imperium’s old lands anyway? Why’d he have to feel that damned obligation to family? If he hadn’t come, then none of this would have happened. He said he didn’t feel any regret in coming, but in that instance he realized he was wrong, even to himself. He did regret coming. Had he not come, then none of this would have happened. He’d have been happier that way, and he’d not have had to find out the true face of Avalon Ancora. And as much as he valued the truth, he’d rather have not known about this. It was painful, seeing this, hearing this. It stabbed at his heart, but also allowed the ice inside grow even further

It wasn’t until Avalon denied his attempt to leave Ivalice did the ice turn into something… more. He was still so, so numb, the sharp pain only dulling it further and further. But this… this sent a spike of some emotion he couldn’t even identify. He wasn’t sure he wanted to, either. It was akin to rage, but… scarier. More deadly, more frightening. He was denied the ability to separate from Ivalice, and then was threatened - told he should feel lucky that he didn’t get demoted further. That if he “messed up” again, then he would be, and severely punished at that. Saying that he could roam but only with assigned escorts.... And then ending the conversation and walking away, without even giving him a say.

Something snapped within him, and he lunged after her, a lard snarl ripping from his throat as he stood half-crouched, still several feet away. He had not been lunging after her in order to attack her, after all. "You would prevent me from leaving?" he hissed, ears flattening at the outrage. Whatever happened to her being okay with her kids having separate paths - did that no longer matter, now that she was alpha of her pack? First, she tells them that it was their choice to follow or stay, saying she would not judge them for their choice. Then she uses it against him, revealing she was bitter about it all along, and that she believed by him staying that he was not loyal. Then, she turns around and prevents him from separating from the pack. "You call me a traitor, and yet all I’ve done is confide in a wolf I trust. You tell me I never tried, but then ignore the fact that when all of us tried, you became angry. And then you ignore that fact? You told us we had the choice to stay or go, and that you would not think less of that. But here you are, telling me that ‘at least they were loyal to their family’. Has everything you’ve said to be a lie? And here you are again, refusing me my freedom to leave. And now you walk away! What a mother you are!” His voice dropped on the last few words, growling them out past his rage that was nearly palpable. "If I am nothing better than my father to you, then perhaps you deserved him - and you deserve the oathbreaker you’ve chosen this time!” Derision rang in his voice, challenging, and ringing with something that was clear: honesty. He believed every word he said at this moment. “If you do not release me, then I challenge you, Avalon Ancora, Chieftain of Ivalice, for my freedom to leave this pack!" 



"Speech" | Think

Avalon

She paused in her tracks and sighed as a snarl sounded behind her. She was so very done with all of this. So without turning to look at him, she'd answer. “Now yes. But not indefinitely.” Didn't he get that? She wasn't going to keep him here forever. Not if he had this much hatred for her. But she wasn't just going to let him have his way, either. It was then she knew, the more she listened to him, she had gone wrong somewhere. She hadn't done the best she could. Was Mercy right? Would they all decide to walk this path that Lykos was taking? Would they do it the exact same way? She refused to turn around even as he spoke more. Each word driving a nail further and further into her heart. It felt like he was deliberately trying to break her. And as much as she tried to fight it...he was winning. He was succeeding in tearing out her heart. Just like Mercy had succeeded in planting her jaws into her shoulder and the thoughts in her mind. This was her fault, wasn't it? Her heart couldn't take it. And try as she might, her anger and cold demeanor was fading to be replaced by inconsolable hurt and pain. She'd never felt this kind of pain before, not since she found herself alone as a child. When her family began to disappear. Her past came back to haunt her, and for a moment, those memories of sitting alone on the beach flashed before her eyes. That was when she had been unloved. Unwanted even. And now, here it was again. For so long she had thought that she'd never feel it again. But here it was, coming back like a snake biting it's own tail. Her throat tightened, her body frozen. She couldn't move, even when he said that she deserved those she'd chosen to love. Was it wrong of her to try to find the one thing she thought to be true? Was it her fault that Newol had betrayed and left her? Did she truly deserve that? Maybe she did...she was beginning to think that she truly did. And Lykos even sounded like he believed it. Like he believed it all to be true. She wanted to run. She couldn't bear it anymore, and she didn't want to say or do something she would regret. But he'd said it all. And then, he claimed a challenge for his freedom. It was then her heart shattered even more. He truly hates me enough to want to leave so badly...She couldn't take it. Her eyes stung, her chest clenching so tightly, she felt like she was suffocating. She tried so hard to keep control. To hold it all in. But ultimately, it was failing. She was failing. And when the tears began to silently fall, she knew she had failed. After a long while of silence, she would finally speak. Her voice cracked. She couldn't hide the pain anymore. If this was what he wanted, then so be it. “You're right. I suppose I do deserve such things, don't I?” Her voice was losing its control. She was losing control. “I don't even deserve you pups…” Even though they weren't pups anymore, they always would be her babies. But she was beginning to believe that she didn't even deserve them at all. How could she? She'd been abandoned and alone for so long. Who was she to believe that she'd ever deserve happiness? She turned around then. The tears falling without restraint, the pain clear in her eyes as she could no longer hide it away. Her body ached all over. Her soul and heart shattered. What had she done in the past to deserve all the abandonment? What had she done that life saw it fit to tear everything away? She was only a child when her home was torn away, not once but twice. She was only a child when her mother and father disappeared...when her siblings left her behind. When she had been enslaved and forced into a war she wanted no part of. She had been young when she feared the world. When she had met Newol and for once, had thought she'd found something worth holding onto. Worth staying in this world for. She had been young when she left on the journey to find her family, only to return empty handed. Then when things were finally looking up, they were torn away. Arian...Newol...the only thing that had kept her clinging to the edge was when her first litter was born. When she had looked upon them for the first time and felt a love she had not felt before. And when she thought she'd finally found what happiness was supposed to be...it had fallen to this. And she was beginning to think, that maybe...no. Not maybe. She was beginning to think that she truly did not deserve to be happy. And she struggled to find the point in her life where she'd gone wrong. So when she gazed at him in silence, her mind was struggling. She was struggling with the flood of thoughts and emotions. It all opened up like a dam with broken walls. She feared returning to the depression that she had struggled for so long to leave behind. But here it was, clawing at her. Dragging her back to the depths of the darkest pits that she had fought so hard to climb out of. And she was slipping. Tan would come then, after having alerted Vereux that a patient was coming his way to give the healer time to prepare. She had not been present for the initial confrontation between mother and son, but soon she'd find out what it had led to. Finally, she would respond. “If it's a challenge you want...then I have no choice but to give it to you…” She didn't want to fight her own child. But perhaps a part of her wanted to feel the punishment of pain. And she would do it knowing she didn't have the energy she would have had if she hadn't just fought someone else. But she would give him at least one thing he wanted. Whether he truly did or not, she would give him the pleasure of a challenge. And part of her wondered if deep down or maybe even on the surface, he really did want to hurt her. More than she already was, anyway. And if he truly wanted this, then he would get it. If he didn't, then surely they could both wait until they calmed down. She couldn't take back what had already been said, it would make her seem even more the fool. He could accept the temporary rank, or he could go through with the fight, knowing she wasn't in full condition to do so. And if he chose the latter, then she would take it as he truly did not care about what happened to her anymore. Her head lowered slightly, the pain and distress and everything else clear. “Avalon, you're in no condition!” The raptor was worried, and did not want her friend to fall into further harm. She stood on a branch above the Alphess’ head, wings slightly open as she prepared to step in. And she hoped to the gods that the pair of wolves would reconsider. But Avalon would say nothing else. Giving him the first strike if he truly wanted this.