ardent

we're smiling but we're close to tears



Wren


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12-14-2016, 02:33 PM
#1
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The ghostly female let out a long, sudden breath as she returned to the surface of the salty water, her eyes opening to see how far she was from the island. And to her relief, not far at all. In fact just minutes later she was climbing onto the sandy shoreline, water dripping from her soaked fur and leaving a trail as she moved toward the shade of the trees. Her body quivered from the cold; here in Boreas it was freezing. She had picked a relatively warm day to swim toward one of the islands but the water was still obviously icy cold. When grass met paws she stopped and shook her fur, cold water droplets flying in all directions. Sand caked the bottom of her still-wet paws and her muscles ached but she knew it would all be worth it.

It might've seemed unusual or odd but Wren enjoyed the feeling of being on this tiny island all by herself. She felt safe and cozy here; if not for the swim, she'd come here all the time. Stretching her sore muscles with a long bow, she stood and sauntered deep into the forest, the minimal amount of trees providing her with unneeded shade. As much as she wanted to, she refused to think about her kids or her husband and how much she'd like to have them here. It would ruin her state of content. So instead she thought of how beautiful the view from this island was. Shaking her fur out once more, she sauntered over to a small, comfortable-looking patch of grass and seated herself within it.

From there she looked out into the ocean, her fur swaying gently as a gentle breeze seemed to come back and forth between the mainland and here. Wren smiled. What would she do with herself, now that she lacked a pack and a family?

"Burn Baby Burn"




Bass

Loner

age
7 Years
gender
Male
gems
0
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
928
player
Evelyn

Famous
12-20-2016, 06:37 PM


He hadn't been dreaming.

He had heard hew howl at the battlefield and thought that it was just his imagination, something that he had wished to see. But while he was out looking for the herd that had been in the thicket, he had crossed her scent. His nostrils flared as he sucked it in, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. They hadn't seen each other for ages and yet she still had a hold over him. A swirling storm of emotions clouded his eyes as he stalked after her smell, his nose pinned to the ground as he hunted down the woman who had abandoned him and his children on more than one occasion. He didn't know what he would do when he found her, as angry as he was he knew that he wouldn't be able to harm her. After everything there was still a part of him that loved her, a part of him that would never forget their younger days. Swallowing hard, he built up his wall once more to block his heart from her. She would not gain the upper hand on him today, and he sure as hell wasn't going to show her just how broken she left him.

Her trail led to the ocean, which made him lift his head as his brows furrowed. She had gone for a little swim... in the dead of winter? What the fuck. Not knowing if he really wanted to follow, he kept his eye on the distant island as he paces along the sand. The waves lapped at his paws, tugging at his ankles like a siren call. Now that he knew she really was back he couldn't walk away, but he didn't want to catch a cold -- or worse -- either. Snorting, he blew out a forceful breath as his paws stood solid on the damp sand for a moment. Golden eyes narrowed as his jaws clenched together, aching as he bit down hard. He knew what he had to do, but he found that he actually had to build up courage to take the first steps. After a pawful of minutes, he bunched up his hindquarters before taking the plunge into the ocean. The grips of cold water hit him square in the chest, threatening to suck the air from his lungs. Struggling to find his legs under him, he flailed around for a moment before instinct kicked in, his limbs moving towards the island. Bass felt the cold seeping into him already, but his anger and determination fueled him onward.

It took awhile to reach the sandy shores of the island, as he picked up the pace to rid himself of this freezing liquid. And then finally, at last his paws touched solid ground. Gasping as he stood there with the waves battering against his limbs, he quivered with the effort it had taken to get here. Raising his head, he looked back at the main land before shaking his coat. Salt water clogged his scent glands, he knew that he would have to rely on his sight. Taking a few deep breaths, he kept building up his guard brick by brick, steeling himself for when he finally found her. Panting slightly from effort, he walked along the shoreline first before he would head inland to find her. He had yet to even think her name, afraid that it would make him turn back and flee. But he needed to do this. Bass would be strong and wouldn't let he see how much of a mess he was.

It all changed when he saw her sitting there.

As he turned the corner of the arched island, he saw her sitting there with a smile on her face, not looking like she had a care in the world. He drew in a sharp breath, standing stock still as his eyes zeroed in on her. She looked... happy. Without him, without their kids, without Abaven. She was fucking happy. Everything he had tried to build up came crashing down, his face raw with clashing emotions as he stared at her. She didn't even care what she had done, did she? She didn't even bother to come and try to see their kids. He didn't care about him, but the least she could do was call for the youngest litter. They hardly knew the woman who had birthed him, but it made one single question swirl around in his head.

Did she even deserve that?

Did this woman who walked away from them a number of times truly deserve to see the wolves that their children had become? Did she deserve to see how much they had grown up and come into their own, or the ones who obviously took after her and wandered off without a single word? Just like she had. Bass felt sick, his teeth grinding together as his jaws locked down. He stood as still as a statue, not able to take a single step towards her. He wanted to turn and just leave, pretend that he hadn't even bothered to come and find her. But that bitter wind wrapped around him, reminding him that he had risked sickness just to get to this damned island. He sucked in air through his nose until his lungs expanded to their full capacity, holding it until it grew painful. Slowly he released it, taking a child's step towards her with every beat of his exhale. As his lungs grew empty again he was about four feet away from her, once more drawing to a halt. Bass' golden eyes narrowed as his chin rose slightly, his face stone cold as he glanced at the woman who had once been his mate the woman who had once been the love of his life.

In a sense, she still was.

Bass knew that he could never love anyone the way that he had loved here. There would be no replacement for this creature who had taken away most of his life with the constant stress, worry, and yet adoration and peace that she had once brought her. It was all still there, simmering just below the surface. He had locked it away for so long that the flood of emotions that consumed him now was enough to nearly knock him off his paws. In this whole world there wasn't a wolf who would be able to fill the void that she had torn through his very soul when she walked away not once, not twice... but how many times had she done that exactly? And then to come back like nothing had happened, like a few whispered sweet nothings would make him forget the pain of her absence. He hadn't, nor would he ever. He wanted to growl, he wanted to bare his teeth at her and let her see how much pain she had inflicted on not only him, but their pups. But instead he just stood there. He couldn't find the words to express how he felt, everything that he had rehearsed in his head had melted away the moment he saw her sitting there. His breath painfully stuck in his throat, until he found that he couldn't even look at her anymore. Tearing his golden eyes off of her, he looked towards the ocean instead, his ears flattening against his head. He didn't sit, didn't move. The tip of his tongue reached out to lick the salt off his lips, hardly hearing anything above the pounding of his heart. This was a mess; he was a mess. What would Lark say if he saw him standing here like an idiot? He would probably tell him not to hold back. It was a lot easier said than done.

The silence spread between the two of them, and he risked casting a sidelong glance in her direction. Did she realize that he had given her his heart, his very soul? And what had she done with it? Chewed it up and spat it back at his paws. There was nothing left of him, not the Bass he had been with her at his side. He was a shell of that wolf, driven to focus on his pack to stop him from burning up into nothingness. He had risked his relationship with his kids to get over her, and here she stood like nothing had ever happened. Not even a word, she was just gone from his life all over again. She was half ghost, half wolf, flitting in and out of their lives when she saw it fit. She had no one's agenda to fill but her own, leaving behind a torn up man to raise their children on his own.

Had he done enough? Had Bass been the father that he had always hoped he would be? Not in the slightest. His family was broken apart, ravaged by this tiny woman. How much power she had on her side was sickening, it made his stomach twist within him. They deserved so much better than this, than her. But surprisingly, he wouldn't trade in his time with her before all this, not even if it rid the claw marks she had left around his heart. She had showed him so much, and helped him find who he was. That was something he would never trade in. Her leaving... now that was different. But he had realized a long time ago that he couldn't force wolves to stay with him. Her, his siblings, and even his kids. They were their own entities, things he couldn't grasp nor control.

And here they were, all over again. Still words left him, his nose pointed towards the water as his right eye slanted at her. She would have to make the first move, as usual. Bass was stuck, too stubborn to give her the satisfaction of the first word. She could toss herself at his paws, sobbing, and still he doubted that he would be able to unfreeze himself from this position. In fact, he didn't doubt that there would be tears, there always had been. But he would not fall victim to her games this time, because that's all it was now to him. A sick, twisted game in which she held all the cards. He didn't know the rules, or the moved he had to make to gain the upper hand. Part of him didn't think he ever could.

"Speech"






Wren


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12-20-2016, 08:20 PM
#3
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Her heart constricted around itself.

Her smile disappeared the moment his heavy aroma met her nose. The world seemed to go still around her, the sound of the waves crashing up against the shore becoming a mere blur of incomprehensible noise in the background. She could only smell him. Not the salty water that wrapped itself around the island, not the grainy sand or the frosty smell of winter but Bass and only Bass. She didn't tear her eyes away from the water. She just stared, her ears twitching aimlessly as she felt the presence of her ex husband just lingering. Standing there in her peripheral vision; motionless, still like a stone wall.

The day he found her was the day she had been both equally anticipating and fearing. She longed to see him again, the man she married and still loved to this day. But she acknowledged that he probably would not feel the same about her. She acknowledged he most likely hated her for leaving him with their kids, leaving him alone without a word countless times now. No; she realized there was no way he could feel the same about her now than he did several years ago. Over time she had coped with that fact. Crying for hours, dealing with dreams that warped her so severely she refused to sleep for long periods of time, running and pacing back and forth until sores had covered her paws and she was exhausted: she's coped, yes, but not completely.

Any mother, no matter how long she is separated from her kids, still loves them and wishes to see them grow.

Her poor children. Her youngest didn't even know her because she had disappeared only a few months after they were birthed. Many would ask why the fucking fuck she left. Not only leave, but leave without saying anything to anyone, not even her own husband. The answer: she didn't know. She'd first left due to being absolutely overwhelmed, then left several other times for selfish reasons. She wanted to see her parents, she wanted to see the world, she wanted to have a break.. selfish reasons. Selfish, disgusting reasons. Bass, all of her children, all of Abaven had to deal with her mistakes and actions and the effect they left on everyone who loved her.

She was getting older. Weary, tired, and she decided to come home. She hoped to at some point see her kids again while she was here. She hoped to see Bass; maybe not while he was aware of it, but still.. see him, and see how he was dealing with everything. Mostly to see if he had moved on. In some ways she wouldn't have minded if he'd found another women to be with. If it made him happy it made her happy. But she still loved him. She'd just have to move on herself.

Wren finally turned, her minty stare landing on the crumbling form of what used to be her husband. Her ears pinned back against her head. She bit her lip, her body swaying as she fought to keep her emotions under control. Every time she had come back and begged Bass to forgive her she had cried and whined at him. They were always real tears - never to manipulate him. But maybe they were. Sometimes she was unaware of her own cruel actions, just like how she had been when she first left and came back months.. no, years later.


She swallowed back a whine. She stood to her trembling, aching feet, her head lowering as she moved into the shadows. Still in sight, just beneath some trees, as if being there would shield her from all the wrath Bass was about to unleash on her. She tucked her tail between her legs and shook gently, all signs of peace and happiness gone from her dead gaze. "Why?" Why was he here? Why wasn't he chasing her? Why wasn't she a pile of blood and fur beneath his paws? Despite her slightly raised voice, she remained in an obviously scared, submissive stance, her knees bent and her legs ready to carry her away if Bass dared to snap and snarl and chase her back where she came from.

Seeing her again, he was probably so shocked and angry and upset. She knew that much. But she really couldn't pry into his gaze like she could many years back, when they were not only mates but best friends. Whenever he was upset or excited she could always see it in those bright golden eyes, shining like the stars at night. She read him like no one else could. Now it was blank. Like a foreign language, he was unreadable to her.

"Burn Baby Burn"




Bass

Loner

age
7 Years
gender
Male
gems
0
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
928
player
Evelyn

Famous
12-30-2016, 01:15 PM


The silence was deafening as it spread between them, cutting out everything else around him. All he could hear was the pounding of his blood in his ears, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps. It was unreal how much this woman had ruled his world, even after all this time she still had a tight grip around him. He was frustrated, angry, and so many other things. It was hard to pick just one, everything tumbling around his mind in quick succession. Before he could grasp one of them he felt defeated, his face twisting into a stone cold expression. He wouldn't allow her to see his torment, to feel some sort of sick pride that she had dug her teeth in deep. After everything, he still cared to damn much to shake her, to get something out of her. Anything was better than this. Bass' jaws worried together as he grit his teeth, seeing her move out of the corner of his eye. Slowly he turned his nose a few degrees closer to her, although he still did not meet her eyes. Here he was, risking freezing to death to come see her dumb ass and she was walking away from him? A surge of anger licked up from his gut, his lips raising into a snarl. No noise left him, but he watched from his peripherals as she made her way off the sand and towards the line of foliage. She sat there and looked at her paws, causing the man to snort. Of course, she was going off to pout. Why would he think that she had changed? It was nothing out of the ordinary for her to act like a child. In the past she had thrown herself at his paws, sobbing and begging his forgiveness. And now? She was in the tree line, hiding. She kept her head down cast, a single word tumbling from her lips.

It was just enough to spur him into action, a growl finally rumbling in his throat. "Why??" he spat, his voice cracking as it boomed across the shore. He took a step towards her, his legs quivering with the amount of red hot anger that consumed him. His nose tipped upwards as he spun to face her, his eyes molten gold as they bore down on her. "Because for some god forsaking reason I still fucking love you!" He was screaming now, planting his front legs in the sand an equal distance apart. He was nearly panting, his pale form shaking as his sides heaved. Sucking in a deep breath, his ears slicked back against his skull as he finally allowed himself a good look at her. She looked just the same, perhaps a bit skinnier but they all were in this harsh season. But her fur was thick and luscious, a gleam to her coat that said that she had taken care of herself while she had been away. Again. Without a word... again. "Even though you've left me and your children time and time again, there is still one fucked up, twisted part of me that will always love you Wren. And then you go and pull this shit, tempting me with your howls and your scent and letting me hope that for once I will get some fucking answers! But no, I had to risk freezing to find you sitting here like nothing ever happened. Did you ever care about us, Wren? Did you ever truly love me and our children? Because it doesn't fucking feel like it! How can you just walk away from us, again and again, over and over, like some fucking ghost? Do you know what you have done to us? All the pain and suffering that you have caused? And for what, some time alone? Fuck you."

Bass had finally let her say her name, had finally let himself say everything that had been simmering in the back of his mind. How it could have all been a lie, that she had been playing him the whole time. But it didn't feel like it. He was there too, he was in those moments with her. They had been so real, and yet like a dream at the same time. Glaring at her for a moment, he tore his gaze away and watched the water suck at the sands, wishing he had just left her alone. It would be better than... this. What would his kids say if they saw him here like this, screaming at Wren like that. Swearing his head off, something that wasn't usual for the aging man. But he couldn't help it. Since the last time she had left he had been stewing over everything, trying to find some answers but only ending up with more questions. And then she just wandered in like nothing had ever happened, expecting a normal, happy life. No, he wouldn't allow that. He wouldn't let her just walk off Scott free while he stayed behind and suffered. Wren would never be able to lead a normal life, not here. She'd need to stay wherever she kept going off too, because as long as she was here there was a chance that she would run into him and their pups. They were all getting older now, too old for games like this. But here he was, making the same moves in this familiar dance. It was her turn now though, he needed something. Anything, really. If she refused to speak, then he would just walk away. If he could, that was.

"Speech"