I could make you want me
12-21-2016, 04:45 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-21-2016, 04:47 PM by Zephyr I.)
Make you need me, make you mine
Zephyr didn't know how to move on after his last encounter with Caelum. It'd been the first time in so damn long that he had felt.. right. It had almost felt like he'd been home, though instead of everything being int he same place, everything had been turned completely upside-down. He'd found himself so overwhelmed that he'd forgot his better judgement and he'd fallen into a trap she probably hadn't even known she had set for him. His mind, of course, kept reeling back to thoughts of how wrong this all was. His past was gone - he'd come to terms with it, or so he thought, some time ago. Unburying all these emotions and thoughts was unprecedented for him and he felt like any progress he'd made toward a more normal life had been erased.
He tried to not think of her for awhile after she'd left. She'd told him she wasn't leaving forever, no, she'd just needed.. what? A break? A moment to think without him bothering her? He couldn't imagine why she needed time to herself, but then again he could relate, he supposed; he'd been too overwhelmed with emotion to think properly that day. He sighed out loud as he wove through the trees, his slackened posture partially revealing his somber thoughts. The fact that he longed for her again made him also feel uncomfortable. He'd gotten used to life without her, and had gotten to the point - eventually - that he could go through the day without thinking of her, of their children, and of that day. Hell, sometimes even weeks passed before the smallest inkling of a memory came to him, but now he couldn't stop thinking about how familiar her touch had been, and how sweet her scent was.
He wanted more.
That was why he was looking for her again. She'd wanted time, and Zephyr had given it to her. She had only specified that she wasn't saying goodbye.. and she hadn't given him any time frame. He did intend to finish their conversation, though he really wasn't sure of the sort of resolution he might get.. if any at all. His nostrils flared as he continued on, noting how quiet this place was. Though it was the dead of winter, this place was rather comfortable, though he supposed that was likely due to the midday sun beaming down on the treetops. Only small hints of sunlight made it through, casting pale light down on the forest floor. This whole place had an ethereal vibe, which fit his odd mood perfectly.
He'd gotten a decent whiff of her scent some time ago, and he'd been trailing after it ever since. He continued on, surprised at how strong it grew. Surely she was close by now, though he couldn't quite figure out where exactly she was. Hesitantly, he let out a low bark, searching for her.
I could make it holy, make it special
Make it right
12-21-2016, 09:13 PM
Time. Time was supposed to be a great healer. When things didn't make sense and you needed to get past your problems, you gave it time. Even physical ailments above all else would require time and one's patience to fully heal. Why had time failed Caelum?
When she left their last meeting it was with a heavy heart. Little effort was needed to see that Zephyr had at least somewhat felt as she did. The whole thing had been too much, leaving her stressed beneath the feelings of happiness and the desire to be close to him again. As much as she still cared about him, Caelum wasn't going to let them just slide the tough stuff under the rug. Now if only she could figure things out on her own while she wasn't so distracted by him. She'd been all over the lands she usually hung around in, and had even taken a very very long walk further south. While the walking helped clear her mind a bit she would continue to struggle with how to sort out the things she wanted to speak about. Distractions only lasted for so long too - soon replaced with thoughts of Zephyr and all they had once had, as well as where they could possibly go from here.
The only thing that remained clear in her mind was that she was tired of her own actions. Falling apart, running off when she couldn't handle things, and that crying. Cae tried to convince herself that she wouldn't do any of that next time, going so far as to play things out in her head time and time again until her imaginary self kept her composure for the most part. She didn't know if that would help, but it was all she could do.
Now what?
She'd returned from her wandering several days ago, though her paws still would not cease their movement. It took an embarrassingly long while to realize she was essentially pacing over a very long distance, moving back and forth across the area she frequented. Eventually she had to force herself to stop, finding that she'd ended up in the strange dark woods she'd visited a very long time ago. A hazy mess of moss and fog surrounded her, complete with thin beams of light piercing their way down from the canopy above. Last time she'd been here Cae had gotten herself just a bit lost. Good thing this time the land was a bit more familiar to her.
Relaxing for a bit, she'd lay at the base of a large tree with her paws tucked gently under her, thinking about anything and everything. She hadn't known what she really wanted when she'd last talked with Zeph. Of course she wanted to straighten things out as best they could, and to make him believe that she would not have run away as he thought she had. Cae was pretty sure he still didn't believe her. How to get there was the real mystery. Closing her eyes Cae thought of how nice it was when they were still together, still whole with their family. She wanted that.
Blue eyes opened with a start when she heard a soft bark that could only belong to the man who had such a hold on her mind. He always managed to appear when she couldn't get him out of her mind. It was an odd talent, but one he'd long had ever since they first met years ago. Slowly she'd rise, moving to look to her right and peer around the tree to see him approaching. She'd move with quiet steps, descending the small slope created by the roots of the tree and coming to stand a few feet from him, head tilted slightly and tail giving a single gentle wag.
"Can I assume the answer to my question might be a no? Or at the very least, not completely..." She mused, tone soft but laced with a hint of jest as she referred to the first thing she'd said last time they met.
When she left their last meeting it was with a heavy heart. Little effort was needed to see that Zephyr had at least somewhat felt as she did. The whole thing had been too much, leaving her stressed beneath the feelings of happiness and the desire to be close to him again. As much as she still cared about him, Caelum wasn't going to let them just slide the tough stuff under the rug. Now if only she could figure things out on her own while she wasn't so distracted by him. She'd been all over the lands she usually hung around in, and had even taken a very very long walk further south. While the walking helped clear her mind a bit she would continue to struggle with how to sort out the things she wanted to speak about. Distractions only lasted for so long too - soon replaced with thoughts of Zephyr and all they had once had, as well as where they could possibly go from here.
The only thing that remained clear in her mind was that she was tired of her own actions. Falling apart, running off when she couldn't handle things, and that crying. Cae tried to convince herself that she wouldn't do any of that next time, going so far as to play things out in her head time and time again until her imaginary self kept her composure for the most part. She didn't know if that would help, but it was all she could do.
Now what?
She'd returned from her wandering several days ago, though her paws still would not cease their movement. It took an embarrassingly long while to realize she was essentially pacing over a very long distance, moving back and forth across the area she frequented. Eventually she had to force herself to stop, finding that she'd ended up in the strange dark woods she'd visited a very long time ago. A hazy mess of moss and fog surrounded her, complete with thin beams of light piercing their way down from the canopy above. Last time she'd been here Cae had gotten herself just a bit lost. Good thing this time the land was a bit more familiar to her.
Relaxing for a bit, she'd lay at the base of a large tree with her paws tucked gently under her, thinking about anything and everything. She hadn't known what she really wanted when she'd last talked with Zeph. Of course she wanted to straighten things out as best they could, and to make him believe that she would not have run away as he thought she had. Cae was pretty sure he still didn't believe her. How to get there was the real mystery. Closing her eyes Cae thought of how nice it was when they were still together, still whole with their family. She wanted that.
Blue eyes opened with a start when she heard a soft bark that could only belong to the man who had such a hold on her mind. He always managed to appear when she couldn't get him out of her mind. It was an odd talent, but one he'd long had ever since they first met years ago. Slowly she'd rise, moving to look to her right and peer around the tree to see him approaching. She'd move with quiet steps, descending the small slope created by the roots of the tree and coming to stand a few feet from him, head tilted slightly and tail giving a single gentle wag.
"Can I assume the answer to my question might be a no? Or at the very least, not completely..." She mused, tone soft but laced with a hint of jest as she referred to the first thing she'd said last time they met.
12-31-2016, 12:21 PM
Zephyr felt remarkably more clear-minded now, though he didn't doubt Caelum's unmistakable ability to make him lose control. He knew that if he wasn't careful, any semblance of command of his own being could be shattered in an instant. Her scent grew stronger, and he trailed after it - though not without a hint of wariness at what their next meeting might bring. He did want to talk, and he wanted some kind of closure about.. everything. It was disappointing to know that he would get no additional news about anyone; he had hoped, for so long, that some of his children might still be alive, somehow. But that was something he no longer anticipated, not since she'd admitted to not seeing anyone but Inverno. And now he knew Asha was alive, too.
When he saw her, he felt his heart sink. She truly was as beautiful as ever. Regret filled him, again and again, like an overflowing puddle, and his face contorted slightly. He didn't know what to expect from this meeting today. Caelum had been clear in that she wasn't saying goodbye, not forever. They both needed time to collect their thoughts and to understand better how they felt, and how they wanted to proceed.
And yet suddenly he felt wildly unprepared again, and at a complete loss.
Her demeanor was far too sweet and fragile for him to deny. How could he be frustrated with such a lovely being? He caught the slight hint of a smile in her voice and saw her tail waving lightly behind her. His own lips twitched in the ghost of a smile as he faced her, taking a few long strides closer. Her words, though, caught him by surprise. The question? What question had she asked? For a long moment he wracked his mind, then recalled quite quickly that the first time she had seen him at their last meeting she had asked one simple question. Do you hate me?
His chest tightened and he cursed her silently for having such a tight hold on him. "I could never hate you," he admitted gently, only the slightest quiver touching his voice as his gaze found her own. Zephyr knew he could never truly hate her, no matter how angry and hurt he had been, and even if he blamed her for what had happened. Deep down he knew he had love in his heart for her, but to what extent he hadn't quite mapped out yet.
When he saw her, he felt his heart sink. She truly was as beautiful as ever. Regret filled him, again and again, like an overflowing puddle, and his face contorted slightly. He didn't know what to expect from this meeting today. Caelum had been clear in that she wasn't saying goodbye, not forever. They both needed time to collect their thoughts and to understand better how they felt, and how they wanted to proceed.
And yet suddenly he felt wildly unprepared again, and at a complete loss.
Her demeanor was far too sweet and fragile for him to deny. How could he be frustrated with such a lovely being? He caught the slight hint of a smile in her voice and saw her tail waving lightly behind her. His own lips twitched in the ghost of a smile as he faced her, taking a few long strides closer. Her words, though, caught him by surprise. The question? What question had she asked? For a long moment he wracked his mind, then recalled quite quickly that the first time she had seen him at their last meeting she had asked one simple question. Do you hate me?
His chest tightened and he cursed her silently for having such a tight hold on him. "I could never hate you," he admitted gently, only the slightest quiver touching his voice as his gaze found her own. Zephyr knew he could never truly hate her, no matter how angry and hurt he had been, and even if he blamed her for what had happened. Deep down he knew he had love in his heart for her, but to what extent he hadn't quite mapped out yet.
01-02-2017, 03:38 PM
She'd search the man's eyes, heart heavy with the emotions that seemed set on taking over again. But not this time. Plenty of time had gone by to allow her to find her composure, something she planned on maintaining through this meeting. What was it that her mother often said... Third try's a charm? Would they be able to keep it together long enough to really get something out of this? She was sure her thoughts were written all over her face and could only hope he was feeling the same. Even though time had been given, she still felt rushed and unprepared now that she'd finally laid eyes on him again. She'd asked herself what she wanted out of this so many times it made her head hurt to even think about it one more time. All she'd ever come up with was that she needed him to know the truth about what happened, to regain some feeling that he trusted her again. Even though the love had not faded from his eyes, she knew as long as he believed she'd run away it was unlikely she'd feel like her really trusted her. He moved closer, and his reply sent a soft pang through her chest. Her fragile smile grew ever so slightly, and yet also seemed to be even more precarious on her lips as though it might fall away if pushed by even a slight breeze. Goodness, he was as handsome as ever. This man left her craving his presence simply by being nearby. Unable to hold herself still Caelum trotted a bit faster than she meant to towards him, closing the rest of the distance before forcing herself to take a seat close by before she did something crazy like knocked him over and smothered him with affection. It seemed time and distance only made the heart grow fonder, despite the scars their past had left. With only a slight struggle she managed to limit herself to gently nuzzling his cheek while she closed her blue eyes and enjoyed the moment. Stepping back the woman took a seat once more, pausing in a moment of uncertainty. Ears flicking back and forth , gaze dropping, she wondered where to begin but only for a second and then the uncertainty was replaced by irritation at her own indecisiveness. She was done worrying and being overwhelmed. Looking back up at the man who captured her heart she spoke up, "I feel the same way. You know... You're it for me Zeph. I could never love anyone like I love you, and I wouldn't want to. And in spite of everything... I don't feel like it's quite over..." Her voice trailed off, laced with nervousness. She didn't know what he wanted anymore. If he wanted her anymore. It was becoming clear to Caelum that what she wanted most was him. In the long time between their second and third meeting the woman forced herself to stop thinking about it, but now her feelings had been reawakened. There was just the matter of recovering from all that had transpired. How long would that take? Did he even want to fix things, or was he blindly stumbling through this like she had been until only moments ago. "At least... I don't want to give up yet. We lost so much Zeph, I don't want to lose everything if I don't have to" |
01-09-2017, 09:57 PM
Caelum seemed stronger now, he could tell that right away. This was.. their third reunion now, he supposed he could call it. The first had been horrible for them both - neither had been even slightly composed, though both had unraveled in separate ways. Zephyr had seen Caelum as weak then, and had cast all the blame he could on her. The second time, they'd both been.. perhaps too nostalgic? They had fallen into one another, as though they were star-crossed lovers who were destined to meet again and he hadn't been able to control himself. He didn't know what their status was now, but he felt stronger, felt as though he was under control as he stood before her. He recognized too that her own strength was wildly attractive to him now; for the moment, any thought of who was to blame fell from his mind.
That didn't mean he felt totally clear-minded though, definitely not. Most of this still felt hazy and confusing, as hard as he tried to make sense of it all. Her smile, gentle and true, elicited an expression similar on his own grizzled features. His gaze locked on hers as she moved to sit by his side, lifting her head to nuzzle his cheek. His chest clenched painfully at the simple gesture, lifting his own snout to press it against her own.
Nothing could've prepared him for her next words, though. You're it for me. He'd thought, for a long time, that his life had been over without her. Losing her had affected him so strongly that he had reacted with such fiery hate and anger when seeing her again. Perhaps he hadn't ever looked for anyone else because deep down he had known too that she was the only for him. Either her -- or nobody. His brows pulled together as he listened, taking her words to heart and thinking of what he could possibly say. "Should it be over?" he'd inquire warily, his voice soft, after a moment of thinking. "Just because we want something doesn't mean it's good for us." His voice was more wary than certain. He didn't know if this was the case but the words came without him bothering to stop them.
The raw honesty of her thoughts was surprising. She spoke of love, of the future. It was more than he had expected to talk about and he was momentarily stunned. He shifted his weight from one side of his body to the other. "I.. don't want to give up either," he admitted softly. "I just don't know where we start now, Cae." His voice had a bit of helplessness he didn't bother to hide as he eyed her cautiously.
That didn't mean he felt totally clear-minded though, definitely not. Most of this still felt hazy and confusing, as hard as he tried to make sense of it all. Her smile, gentle and true, elicited an expression similar on his own grizzled features. His gaze locked on hers as she moved to sit by his side, lifting her head to nuzzle his cheek. His chest clenched painfully at the simple gesture, lifting his own snout to press it against her own.
Nothing could've prepared him for her next words, though. You're it for me. He'd thought, for a long time, that his life had been over without her. Losing her had affected him so strongly that he had reacted with such fiery hate and anger when seeing her again. Perhaps he hadn't ever looked for anyone else because deep down he had known too that she was the only for him. Either her -- or nobody. His brows pulled together as he listened, taking her words to heart and thinking of what he could possibly say. "Should it be over?" he'd inquire warily, his voice soft, after a moment of thinking. "Just because we want something doesn't mean it's good for us." His voice was more wary than certain. He didn't know if this was the case but the words came without him bothering to stop them.
The raw honesty of her thoughts was surprising. She spoke of love, of the future. It was more than he had expected to talk about and he was momentarily stunned. He shifted his weight from one side of his body to the other. "I.. don't want to give up either," he admitted softly. "I just don't know where we start now, Cae." His voice had a bit of helplessness he didn't bother to hide as he eyed her cautiously.
01-10-2017, 06:33 PM
The warmth that she felt while they were in slight contact was something she never wanted to end. There was no doubt in her mind that he had her heart completely - a feeling that seemed to grow stronger with every interaction they had. Perhaps for a while her time with Inverno made her consider the idea that she could let go of her past, let go of any hope she had of returning to this relationship and fixing things, yet deep down she'd never truly let herself believe these things and she could not let go. That wasn't a bad thing in her mind. She didn't ever want to worry that she'd given up on something that could be saved, be it an individual, or a relationship that she'd nearly lost. Now was their chance, a fresh start - however tentative and fragile - was here before them and all they had to do was take hold of it. At first she wanted to be hurt by his reply, face revealing the uncertainty that struck her plain as day. Then again, there was so much heavy stuff standing between the couple, it seemed like a mountain, or maybe several of them, stood between these wolves and any sense of wholeness they might hope to achieve. Shaking her head, Cae looked at him with pleading cyan eyes, hoping to see into his very mind if she just looked hard enough. Did he really feel that way? Sure they'd had more troubles than others... Not everyone experienced the kinds of things they'd experienced. But were their poor reactions to such adversity reason enough to give up on their being together, despite having promised to spend their lives together? Brows knit together as she searching gaze faded into a thoughtful frown. His reaction to her last words answered the question, at least in her mind. The uncomfotable posture that seemed to realease some tension she had failed to see coupled with his admission... He really meant it. It seemed they were both at a loss for where to go next, and how they should repair the damage done. There was a pause as she considered how best to respond when she was in the same predicament. She wanted to try and salvage things so badly, but the tasks seemed monumental. After considerable pondering she slowly responded, "Well... I can't say if this is good or bad. There's so much that seems to stand between us, it feels overwhelming," She mused, hoping that thinking aloud and letting him hear her thought process might make the words come easier, "I can say that after not knowing what to do with myself, feeling so lost and helpless for so long, now that I've finally found you again I have a reason to keep trying. To better myself for not only my benefit but yours as well. I have this feeling like I've got something outside of my own survival to be thinking about and living for. Before I think I didn't try to compose myself, had no reason to want to be myself again. Since We've found each other again... I feel stronger and better for it. If that isn't good I don't know what is. So for me, despite all that leaves me hurting this is something I need." Her words had a weight to them, as though each was a rock falling from her maw with a thud onto the ground. "And how we proceed... I don't really know. If we look at all that there is to do and say it seems like an impossible task, doesn't it?" She added quickly, a smirk tugging at one corner of her mouth. Having breifly thought of her mother before, she now found herself recalling her father. He was a stong man, and though he gave off the air of a tough guy when you first met him he was always so intelligent and amazed her with his insights into many issues. Features softening as she recalled these warm memories, Cae's tail tapped the ground tentatively. Whenever she felt lost it seemed like her parents managed to help her out, even if it was just through her memories of them, and that was something she was endlessly greatful to them for. She made a mental note to one day try and find out where they might be if that was possible, then she spoke with strong, certain words, "When we're faced with impossible tasks, it's easier to try and tackle the things that are possible about them first rather than the whole issue all at once, so it's less daunting and easier to accomplish." She announced this with a hopeful smile, standing up in her excitement. Her tone became a bit more serious when she added thoughtfully, "Maybe we start slow... Talk about the easy stuff. And try to see each other more, talk a little more and work things out as we go... Like when we met. We used to just see each other every so often, spend time together and stuff..." While Caelum wasn't sure what else to add, or if there was more they should do, she was glad that she'd at least tried to find a starting point. There was no sense in moping and worrying that they didn't know what to do. It was best to at least throw something out there, make an effort and see where things went. |