Ooc:: Mature for language~

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel, can you feel my heart?

Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees
Can you save my bastard soul?
Will you ache for me?

The female had returned to the battlefield, the beginning of the end… Liar had failed to deliver them their new home. But now not only was he gone, but her two newest children ass well. Chasm. Apathy. Both of them had abandoned her with their father, something Marina couldn’t quite fathom. She was hurting, Gods above she was hurting, and she was pissed. She wanted to stop feeling for anyone… to stop getting hurt over and over.

She found herself foolish to believe Liar had been the one to see through her tortured soul. In the end his name reflected what he was… but still, Marina thought as hot tears stung her eyes, he had made her feel wanted. Made her feel needed. Giving birth to their children had made her so happy… but for what gain? She’d had what, three litters now, only to have her families fall apart? The female scraped out the bloodsoaked earth with her claws, her heart screaming out in pain.

The female found herself slowly being driven mad once more. With the loss of her parents, her brother not once, but twice, and all of her children… Marina sunk towards the earth, squeezing her eyes closed. “I hate him…” Marina whispered bitterly. “Why… why does this keep happening?” She could feel darkness stirring in her heart. All it would take is to snap one more time… embrace her demons and seek out chaos. But was that really the path she wanted?

No. She didn’t want to turn down her darker paths again. She wanted to be loved. Wanted to feel what she felt when Liar was around. But right now she was just so cold… she just wanted to crawl into some hole and never come out. Marina tilted her head towards the heavens and loosed a mournful howl.

Would anyone take pity on a broken wolfess such as herself?

I'm sorry brother
So sorry lover
Forgive me father
I love you mother

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim...

Regulus Anatolii Adravendi

His path had taken him from the final round of his morning patrol – a solo patrol, in this case – and to the northeast. It was high time he started perusing the Battlefield for any lone wolves who might be seeking a home where they had wolves to befriend, and a purpose to strive for. His pack needed adult fighters, not to mention hunters. His talk with Leo had been a refreshing one; it wasn’t often he got to catch up with his cousins on the eastern coast, and it had helped ease some more of that ache in his chest that remained after all the losses. Despite the chat with Leo, however, he still intended to take Baine with him to visit Fiori; the mileage would do his little sister good, and it was a chance for them to get some quality time. His thoughts snapped away from these musings as a truly heart wrenching song of emotional agony was borne across the field on the wind, lifting his head and perking his ears. His head cocked, before he picked up his trot again, arcing his path to find the sad one. His steps slowed as he caught sight of a rainbow backed female. The same that had been there to support Liar in his challenge for Celestial. His fathomless sapphires swept the surrounding lands, seeking out the exotic male, but he was nowhere to be seen; luckily for the male. It wasn’t a grudge Regulus held against the male, but a call from beyond his mother’s grave that would lead him to rip the exotic male in two if he met him again. Surreal had made him aware of that promise for a reason; just because she was dead, didn’t mean that made the promise null and void. So why was this lady, noticeably less pregnant than the last time he’d seen her, here crying a lament to the skies? He gave a decisive flick of his heavy tail and strode forward, ensuring that his posture held no threat. It wasn’t her that he had any issue with. He circled around to stand before her, about ten feet away, those rich sapphire eyes taking in the retched expression on her face, the tears, and the anguish in her frame. Finally, after looking her over, he spoke, tone neutral. “Why do you cry so, Lady?” The term ‘lady’ wasn’t voiced in the derogatory manner of some young generations, instead carrying the note of respect voiced in a title given to a woman of respect. He didn’t know her personally, and he wouldn’t treat her ill because of her past affiliations.

Upon hearing a familiar voice, a voice that Marina recognized as the man from Celestial, the rainbow marked woman froze. For a long moment she lay there in silence, her red and pink eyes focused on the ground. Her ears were pinned back, and slowly, oh so slowly, the femme lifted those pained eyes up to the man before her. His words, though neutral in tone, scared her. The rainbow woman trembled before slowly standing to her full height, a height smaller than the man before her. Her tail was tucked, her mind thrown into a racing state as she tried to process what was happening.

Some part of Marina was screaming, screaming at her to lunge at this man, to make him feel the pain, the sorrow that she felt. But there was another part, a more rational part, that fought that desire. That fought to be understood… to be reassured and told everything would be alright. To feel that lie, that security drape across her conscious once more.

Marina was torn.

Madness and sanity danced within her all at once, and the woman closed her eyes, taking a shuddering breath as she fought herself first.

…but which side would win?

Finally Marina opened her eyes again, the narrowed pupils fixing upon the red male. “Abandoned…” The femme growled, tears still streaming from her eyes. “That bastard… he left me… took our sons…” She was shaking, though whether from just sadness, anger, or something more she wasn’t sure.

“…I’m sorry…” The female shifted her head to the side, averting her gaze from the male. “You don’t need to hear my sob story… you kept what was rightfully yours…” The female trembled again. ‘…and I lost everything. Again…’

Regulus Anatolii Adravendi

He watched the rainbow marked female tremble as she stood. Had she eaten at all recently? As she fought her internal struggle, one he could see in those carmine and cherry eyes, he waited, patient as a glacier, then as she growled out her answer through still falling tears, he listened, letting her get the words out. So Liar had again lived up to his name. He supposed that there had been a promise to always be by her side, the way most lovers spoke to one another. The word 'Abandoned' resonated with him a bit. He’d been young when his father had ignored his mother’s warnings and run off to the challenge to reclaim his sister from Arcanum, and been taken in return. He’d seen his mother’s stress, her anger, the misery, even though she’d done her best to hide it from himself and his sisters. He’d seen her anger with Falk when he had finally returned with waning sight. And then his grandmother’s time had come and he had been the foolish, curious pup and followed them. The female apologized, and he shook his head. “No, Lady. I should apologize to you. I knew he couldn’t be trusted, once I recognized him, after. I knew you were pregnant. I should have offered you and your unborn children a place to stay, and would have if I'd thought then that he'd abandon his own mate,  though I doubt you’d have accepted the offer then. Probably have even been insulted by it.” He offered a gentle smile. “What is your name, Lady?” He queried, haunches settling to the ground that had seen many a fight, and as many deaths.

The femme listened to the male again, hearing his apology. How she wished she could have known Liar couldn’t have been trusted… that he would break her heart and take her family. Marina took a small breath. Back then she would have thought him crazy, that Liar would never have abandoned her… but now? The female almost wished he’d said something. Anything. A warning back then to how things might be. Perhaps then she’d be able to handle it better… or maybe not. The man asked for her name, and Marina was debating her options now. “Marina… Marina Agatsuma…” The rainbow marked femme eased her rear end onto the ground, her tail curling around her toes as yet another heavy sigh left her lips. “I wish I would have known of Liar’s intentions back then… I trusted him so blindly… believing every word that he spoke to me.” The female hung her head in shame. “This is the third time I’ve lost a litter due to unfortunate circumstances. This last one… should have been avoided… if only I had noticed the signs.” The femme lifted her gaze back to the red beast before her. “You have already fought for your home… proven you are here to stay… are you sure you’d have someone such as me in your pack?” At this Marina’s gaze softened. “I am broken… I am hurting and bitterly broken by what has happened again and again. I miss my children… but I no longer wish to be alone either. A pack could change that… if it is willing to give me a chance.” "Talk" "You" Think

Table by:: Fox

Regulus Anatolii Adravendi

His head dipped as she introduced herself as Marina. “I am Regulus Anatolii Adravendi; Archangel of Celestial.” He listened raptly as she spoke of her losses. Three litters. “Love can make us do foolish things, I suppose, though I’m not one to speak. I haven’t experienced that side of life quite yet.” For some reason, his mind flickered briefly to a cream and tan face, delicate with wide sky blue eyes and a smile. He listened as she went on, ears perked and eyes attentive, letting her finish before he spoke at last. “Celestial is founded on a notion of family, and working together. My goal and I hope everyone else’s, is to hold each other up, and work together for a better, happier tomorrow, and a safe haven for our children and our ancestors to live out their days in peace, while still feeling useful; giving out their knowledge gleaned through years of doing.” He paused, letting her take in his words, fathomless sapphires locking with those pinkish red eyes as he went on, wanting the female to understand. “If you can work hard for that goal, and help keep the pack glued together, then I will give you a chance. Everyone must work hard in Celestial, so that we may enjoy the fruits of the labor. Currently, we have very few fully trained adults, and children and yearlings who need experienced wolves to teach them what they need to live. This means active adults who will not slack on their mentees’ training.” He stretched to his paws, tail flicking to clear the debris from his fur. “If you wish to join, you have a few options. You could join now as a Unit, to see how you like Celestial before deciding what rank you wish to try for. If you wish to become a Legionary, you will have to spar with meat the border with a witness from Celestial to prove that you are adequate enough at the skill to hold the rank. Or you can have worked your way up by showing the initiative to spar often, hold fighting training sessions, and patrol regularly with myself or the pack. Show me that you want to move up and can handle the rank.” He turned, tipping his head in a mute offer for her to walk with him around the Field. “Hunters, too, may join as a Unit and work up from there, or go on a test hunt for perhaps a rabbit to at least show they know how to hunt. Alternately, working your way up, you would have to hold pack hunts – again, show me the initiative to perform and provide for the pack – hold hunting training sessions with the younger generations, and practice your hunting skill actively.” He gave her a light smile, adding, “Can you guess what a wolf wanting to be a healer must do to accomplish that rank?” A test, to ensure he'd had her attention through the whole description.

Marina listened, though part of what she heard only made her heart ache more. A… family. Her eyes were pained… hold each other up. That was how things were with her parents and brother before that pack of wolves attacked… monstrosities in size… in strength. Marina tried to shove those thoughts of the past away though. As much as she wanted to there was no going back. The rainbow marked female couldn’t deny that it sounded good to the ears though, even now… even after all that had happened… she wanted stability. Wanted somewhere she could not only grow but pass along her knowledge as well. He was honest too, which was another reason why Marina considered his offer. They were lacking in mentors… so wolves would have to work hard for the young to learn and to keep the pack together. The Legionary name was different, but it was a rank Marina recognized. A fighter. Her ears perked at this, though she continued to let Regulus speak, respectfully waiting her turn. “I’d assume…” The femme rumbled. “That a healer would join as a unit first, working their way up from the rank by holding training, practicing their knowledge, or passing a test about herbs and healing. Though I’m afraid I’m not too much into the leafy stuff myself.” Marina had found her smile again, head canting to the side once more. “I will come with you and join Celestial. However I’d like to settle within the pack for a bit before we do the spar for my Legionary test, if that’s alright by you. That or I can just work my way up from a Unit rank… I’m not particular either way.” The femme rose, striding closer to Regulus with curiosity shining within her eyes. The hurt was still there, but pushed down, buried for now. Perhaps this time it could stay away. "Talk" "You" Think

Table by:: Fox