No child of ours should have to die for us[gabe and Raph(?)]
With tired eyes he had then turned to Gabe and Raph and asked them to walk with him. Gabe would likely come, there had been a defeat to him as he had asked. Samael was no longer there, just a devil to them. To them he was an undefeatable entity of evil. He was Lucifer. He expected Raph to stay with Uri until she was better so Gabe and him could have at least a moment alone.
His paws had thudded like thunder in his own ears. He hadn't wanted to force gabe into tracking him if he didn't have to. He was at the end of his ropes with his brothers, there was constant fear that his brother's would hurt what was his world. He stopped and sat beside a tree. His eyes stayed off His only loves form. He knew he had followed and did his best to make it easy on both of them. His side pressed into the tree as he leaned. He was ready to accept a death he never deserved if that's what it would take to save his children. "I don't know how to make it better anymore. I cannot kill them like father wants, they are my world, they are innocence in my eyes. I can't just accept that because i sinned they are to be condemned. Mine are mine and belong to me, why must he divide us so? I cannot stand to watch my family tear itself apart because i fucked up." His voice was breaking. Raw emotion captured him. He didn't know how to fix anything enough his brothers would no longer hate him. HE wanted to ask Gabe to fall with him so bad but to condemn his brother was to hurt him. "I want you to come with me, Gabe. I would do anything to have you by my side." honesty was the best policy right? He loved his brothers but gabe most of all.
As his brother and current stalking interest Gabriel is allowed in any of his threads regardless of tags. Also as the father of Leviathan, Sathanus, and Mammon Sam is allowed to pop into any of their threads as he sees fits regardless of how they are marked.
Poor Uri. She had been too overwhelmed by it all. Raphael's appearance, full of righteous fury and indignation, had been more than any of them could bear. The herald felt the strain on his mind. Samael offered him a home, and acceptance for who he was. Sought neither vengeance nor penance for Gabriel's transgressions. What more could he ask for?
A life without sin. That was all he dared ask. Yet, it seemed that he might not be worthy. Everywhere he went, the stench of mortal sin followed. Clung to his skin like a stain that couldn't be cleansed. All he wanted to be was the perfect son to his Father. To be a perfect guardian. For his family to be free of strife. It was not meant to be. Why couldn't he be pure, unsullied? What had he done to deserve this suffering? Would Father ever forgive him? It was his only desire in life, to bask eternally in the Lord's light.
He trailed after his Fallen brother. Nostrils flared with each breath, making minor corrections to remain on track. Skull hanging limply between his shoulders, he walked on, trapped in his own psyche. The sharp aroma of deciduous sap stung his nose as he approached the forest of mammoth trees. Soon enough, he could hear Samael. Could smell the tumultuous emotion in his musk. He put on a brave face, lifted his crown high to direct his attention to his brother. The very image of a holy man.
"I don't know how to make it better anymore. I cannot kill them like Father wants, they are my world, they are innocence in my eyes. I can't just accept that because I sinned they are to be condemned. Mine are mine and belong to me, why must he divide us so? I cannot stand to watch my family tear itself apart because I fucked up." The words rang clear in his emptied skull. A heavy sigh was forced from his lungs. He did not know either. The violence of his heartbreak tightened in Gabriel's chest, made it hard to breathe. Choked him. He couldn't force words from his jaws, not now. Not faced with this sorrow. He couldn't, because it was his fault. "I want you to come with me, Gabe. I would do anything to have you by my side."
That was something he could respond to. He knew the truth, the right words to say. "You do not want me, brother." The words rumbled from his aching jaws, clear as a bell. He was so tired, so drained. He wanted to rest for millenia, awaken a deity in his own right. Far removed from these traumas and these old wounds, constantly reopened. "I am no good to you." Worthless, even. Michael hadn't even seen him worth enough to ignore his sins. He bore the marks of his own folly, and he was reminded of his horrible existence with each breath.
Thoughts "Samael"
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Samael, as Gabriel's brother/stalker, will likely be making appearances in any/all of his threads to distantly stare at his interactions. Just an FYI.
**Also, his face is heavily scarred on the left side, none of his tables reflect this yet. Missing fur on the cheek, below the eye, and scars across the bridge of his muzzle and down his neck.
Gabriel's voice broke through like a horn sounding his heaven. He wanted so bad to shatter his brother's vision of himself, that he should see what Sam saw. "You do not know what I see gabby. I see a man who tries his damndest to do everything that's expected of him and more. A man who is not afraid to ask for forgiveness, where none should have to be asked for. A man that does not see in the ways others do but with his heart, a heart so pure it would never be mine for I am evil incarnate and cannot take back my deeds. But if I am wrong brother then forgive me for I do not want to be right." he moved gently, lifting himself to be in front of his brother. He wanted to pull Gabe into his fluffier winter coat, to hold him in ways a brother never should. Instead he settled for pressing his tongue gently into his brother's scarring wounds. To cleanse it as best he could. It was his apology for not being there to protect him from an enemy Gabriel could not fight.
As his brother and current stalking interest Gabriel is allowed in any of his threads regardless of tags. Also as the father of Leviathan, Sathanus, and Mammon Sam is allowed to pop into any of their threads as he sees fits regardless of how they are marked.
The herald needn't wait long for a response. There was no horrible clock, ticking away the seconds of hesitation. Samael had always been like that, quick on the trigger. No time for thought or consideration. It was one of the things that had always infuriated the Lord, and amused Gabriel. "You do not know what I see Gabby. I see a man who tries his damnedest to do everything that's expected of him and more. A man who is not afraid to ask for forgiveness, where none should have to be asked for. A man that does not see in the ways others do but with his heart, a heart so pure it would never be mine for I am evil incarnate and cannot take back my deeds. But if I am wrong brother then forgive me for I do not want to be right."
Forgiveness was offered, if without words. For Samael was, indeed, wrong. Though his words were needlessly kind, and doubtlessly honest, they were incorrect. Self loathing had wormed its way into his heart long ago, when everything started to fall apart around him. "I appreciate your kind words, brother." It was softly spoken, just above a whisper. Auds would fall, expression shifting to one of turmoil. He longed for the simplicity of the life that Samael lived, but it could not be. It never could. "I cannot abandon our brothers and sisters, not even for you."
"What good would I be to the family whose lives I so cruelly upheaved, after all?" His words carried a strange kind of humour in their tones, false and dark. The herald was no fool, he was well aware that those children would never accept him. Even if he did take Samael's offer, and Fall from grace, there was no place for him there either.
Thoughts "Samael"
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Samael, as Gabriel's brother/stalker, will likely be making appearances in any/all of his threads to distantly stare at his interactions. Just an FYI.
**Also, his face is heavily scarred on the left side, none of his tables reflect this yet. Missing fur on the cheek, below the eye, and scars across the bridge of his muzzle and down his neck.