Her recruitment had gone better then expected, through Abavens ranks were still depleted and had a long way to go before they would be at comfortable levels. But, it had been a manageable trickle, where she could provide individual attention to the wolves who requested to join her pack. It was still slow going, staying at the battlefield for hours long after wolves had stopped showing up. After that, she began her meetings, seeing to the wolves and ensuring their rank and position within the pack.

One wolf in particular would require some attention, and she was determined to see him settled into Abaven pack lands. The quiet, skittish healer who had found the strength to approach her despite his obvious fears. A wolf who had driven mixed feelings through her heart when she began to see that he must have suffered dearly in his life.

It was for Spider that she could call now, as she worked slowly, stately, through Abaven territory. The familiar sound of the rapids beside her, cooling her thoughts and giving her time to think through what she had to say to the man.

His first thought was that he had already done something wrong in the short time that he had been in Abaven. He remembered the fury he had seen on the woman’s face when he gave her his name and felt fear roil in the pit of his stomach. Far more afraid of what would happen to him if he didn’t answer her, Spider left his meager attempt at a den to meet with her, his ears flattened against his skull and his head lowered as he approached her. He eyed the rapids with trepidation and came to a stop several feet away from her, almost certain that if he came any closer he would be thrown to the mercy of the raging river. “Y-y-you c-c-called f-f-for m-me S-S-Shaye?” He asked hesitantly, shrinking back further as he seemed to spit out the words, afraid that hearing him speak would anger her. She appeared calm, but then again, so had Shiloh so many times before he pinned him down and forcefully took him. He at least had no fear of that happening with the woman, but then, he had never really objected to it in the first place. Spider speaking  Toad's voice You

He stopped a good distance from her, still afraid, his stuttering, uncertain tones rolling between them. She expected her anger now, and bit it down before it had any chance to rise up in her heart. He was here now, he was a part of Abaven, and he was safe. Whatever he had suffered, was behind him. She looked after her own.

“Yes, thank you for your time, Spider” she murmured gently as he sunk into himself. Did he seem… even more afraid of her now then he had at the beginning? She swallowed gently. Perhaps he had seen her anger, and mistook it for rage against him. “I’ve placed you as an apprentice healer in Abaven at this stage, with plenty of room to move up in the ranks if you attend meetings and prove your willingness to heal wolves. But I called you here to talk about more than just your rank.”

She sank slowly onto her hunches, the motion almost idle, as she attempted to make herself look less threatening. Not easy with a large wolf such as herself. “I want you to know that your safe here, in Abaven, and to consider me more than just your Alpha - but also as your friend. If… if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.” What happened to you?’ she wanted to ask him, blunt and outright. But she knew, she knew she would only scare him more terribly if she pushed him.

Safe. Could he have ever truly claimed to be safe anywhere? Natiel had been willing to protect him, but she had ultimately abandoned him, just as everyone else had. He lifted his head slightly, satisfied that the woman wasn’t going to attack him, but kept his eyes downcast.She would be his friend. Had he ever had a friend before? There was Gabriel, the blind giant who had been so kind to him, Gabriel who he had healed when his brother maimed him, Gabriel who had also left him behind. Even Shiloh had gotten bored of him eventually, he was sure of it. He had left Boreas to chase after him, in spite of all his severity and the pain Shiloh had inflicted on him, all the scratches and bites he had left under Spider’s thin fur, the healer had truly loved him, and perhaps that was what made his desertion so much worse than all the others. “W-w-w-will y-y-you p-p-promise m-me s-s-s-s-s-s-“ He was caught on the word and stuck hissing the first syllable. “Something.” He all but choked out, his eyes closed tightly from the effort of trying to speak past his stutter. He shifted slightly waiting for the woman to reply then softly muttered: “Please don’t leave.” With perfect clarity. Spider speaking  Toad's voice You

The damaged wolf stood before her, and seemed to straighten slightly as she spoke. Lifting his head, through his sweet, muli-coloured eyes refused to meet her own. She felt she could bring him around, help him to understand that she meant what she said about his safety and happiness here. She just needed to introduce him to the idea slowly, prove with actions more than words.

Whatever he had been through, it had clearly traumatised him greatly. When he spoke, it was again with stuttering tones, one word catching between his teeth until she thought it might break him. Then, somehow, miraculously, he spoke free of his trembling stutter. The rage warred with her compassion, through not one speck of it showed on her face. She had learnt her lesson from the first time, whatever anger he had seen there had not helped matter at all. “Spider.” she took a small step forward, pausing, and giving him time to adjust to the idea, and if he did not flinch or frighten further, she would take another, “I’m not leaving. What i’m building here, i’m building for wolves like you, wolves who need a bright, steady future. We are friends now, you and I, and i’m not going anywhere.”

Slowly, cautiously, his eyes raised to meet hers, with a small smile that was every bit sincere as it was hopeful. “T-t-thank y-y-you.”He squeaked, the tip of his tail daring to beat slightly against the ground. The idea of being safe, of not having to worry about being attacked, was strange, and in truth he didn’t fully believe it, but he trusted Shaye. He knew it was dangerous to put his faith in anyone, but in that moment he remembered his last meeting with Shiloh; the ochre male had grabbed his scruff and held him tightly against his body, and asked if the healer could fix him. The dusty male had promised he would, and in that he knew he had failed. When he woke up and Shiloh had vanished again, he knew his words had been for naught, and now, with Shaye promising him the same thing he had promised Shiloh he began to doubt that she would be able to keep her word. “You’re worthless…Pitiful…” He heard Toad growl in his mind, and he flinched visibly at the sudden intrusion. He glanced at Shaye quickly, trying to read the woman’s expression before Toad assaulted him again. “You’ll fuck it all up, like always and she’ll start to hate you. Then you’ll be alone again, you don’t deserve anyone.” He hung his head, wall-eyed as he stared at the ground, violent shivers wracking his body as he tried to fight off his brother’s cruel assault. “S-s-s-s-s-s-sorry…I’m-m-m s-s-s-so s-s-s-s-s-sorry.” He whined, his paws kneading at the ground nervously, almost sure that the woman was going to consider him a lost cause on the spot. He had just promised himself he would do his best to help her fix him, and he was already making a mess of it.   Spider speaking  Toad's voice You

The nearly grey-dapple wolf would allow his eyes to meet hers, and she rewarded him with a bright smile, that lit up her face and sparked in her eyes, a grin of warmth and hope for her newest member. She was building something with him, slowly, but steadily, and she wouldn’t do anything to break that progress.

She was already considering granting him an apprenticeship under Vail, thinking the work would do him some good in the confidence department, to see he was appreciated and needed. She was still smiling at the thought of Vail taking on an apprentice when the boy before her suddenly flinched. Shaye stilled, wondering what had set off his anxiety, and hid her inwards sigh. Ok, she could admit that this was going to be a long road, but the past couldn’t be healed in a day.

She moved a little closer to him, unless he shied away, and if he allowed, would reach out and press the side of her head into his coat in comfort. “It’s ok Spider, I understand. You take your time, and i’ll be here for you, okay?” she promised him. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He let her press her head against is thin coat and began to tremble but refused to move away or push her back. When was the last time someone had treated him so gently? A brief memory of his sister answered the unspoken question; white fur on muddy gray and a touch of their mother’s cream coat along her belly. Cricket. He forced himself to remain in the moment, before his mind took the route it always took when he thought of his sister. “T-t-t-thank you.” He said in a heavy whimper, his throat tight with emotion. He could feel warm tears rolling down his cheeks and in spite of himself he dropped his head onto Shaye’s neck, allowing her to comfort him. This was strange and frightening, but he could no longer convince himself that he was in danger and that any moment now the leader would turn face and attack him. Spider speaking  Toad's voice You

The wolf she leaned against was getting emotional, she could feel it in the shaking of his body, and the miserable words he managed to push out. She held him close, much like she had held Rhythm when she realised her Auntie was still alive. Sometimes a wolf just needed to be held, to know they were not alone. It was what she needed, and it was all she knew to offer this strange, miserable wolf.

“Shh, i’ve got you, i’ve got you.” Shaye murmured softly, and she would stay there with him for as long as he needed. When she felt his head rest against her shoulder, she knew he was accepting the comfort. So she held her position, ignoring any discomforts, and would simply be there for him, as she had promised him she would.