This winter had been rough on him, making the tall male realize how old he was getting. Arthritis was hitting him hard and with the absence of Star he had no clue what herbs to use to help. During his patrols he had done a lot of thinking and though he hated to even bring this up he knew that it was his time. He was getting old, physically, and with him being the only solid parent in his kids lives he knew it was important that he needed to be there for all of them. Torin was already stepping up a heck of a lot more since Frost's kids had been born, but it still bothered Frost to even admit that things were getting harder.
So as the kids were cuddled into the warm den Frost took off to find Torin, wanting to speak with him before Frost headed out for his patrol for the evening. He hadn't been told, but he could smell that Torin had been a frequent visitor to his Neice's den and he felt that it would be the best place to find him. As he headed in that direction he caught sight of Derecho heading out into the distance. He figured she may be going for a quick hunt. He continued moving until he came to her den.... Well it smelled like it had become her and Torin's den which made Frost smile a little.
He settled down in a laying position under her tree, by her den entrance and waited for Torin.
Getting up in the morning wasn't exactly easy since he'd moved into Derecho's den, he often found it difficult to leave her warm side especially as the weather had grown colder and stormy above them. Still he knew asking Frostbite to leave his children early in the morning and so he made the difficult trek from the den around the borders. He was awake now at least, his limbs stretched. Still he yawned as he trotted back to the den; with the day now well under the way he expected Derecho would have started her day already so he was surprised to find anyone was waiting for him.
"Good morning, Frostbite." He spoke evenly as he approached, dipping his head in greeting towards the older male. "Looking for Derecho?"
He had found that he didn't wait long, that his timing had been perfect to catch Torin. In fact it wasn't long after he settled did Torin appear and he smiled at the younger male, though didn't get up right at that moment. Torin greeted him and Frostbite dipped his head, then proceeded to ask if he was looking for his Niece.
"No, though I did spot her heading off, looks like she was going out for a hunt," he replied. "I was actually looking to see if you had some time to chat."
He didn't want to assume Torin didn't have stuff to do and if he did Frost would gladly meet up with him later. The kids would be itching to be out soon anyways, but if Torin had time now he would like to talk now. He didn't really want other ears to hear, because it would be hard enough to tell Torin that he was feeling his age, let alone worry his niece with such matters.
Torin couldn't help but feel a rush of blood on through his face as Frostbite admited he'd been looking for him. So it seemed the time he'd been spending with Derecho hadn't gone unnoticed. Still he did his best not to seem too offput and settled onto his haunches in front of Frostbite, trying to keep his gaze neutral if not a big open to listen to what he wanted to speak about.
"What's on your mind?" He asked, running through a mental list of all the things that had happened since their last serious talk... he wasn't really ready to open up about his niece yet and he sent a silent prayer to the heavens that Frostbite wasn't going to bring her up.
Frost had noticed, but he hadn't brought it up to anyone either. It was Torin and Derecho's business, not his own. If they were a thing Frost knew Torin enough to know he would take good care of her and he didn't need to worry. Torin settled in front of him and had time to talk which was relieving to him.
"Well....." he started before giving a slight sigh. "I am starting to feel my age. This winter has made me realize how much harder things are for me."
He shifted his body as he spoke, large form trying to get in a more comfortable position as they talked.
"I was wondering if you felt ready to take this on on your own so that I can step down," he asked looking to Torin's face as he tried to read what he was thinking.
Torin listened silently as Frostbite spoke, he felt a little guilt as he listened. He knew Frostbite was getting older and with his pups around now he could understand how Frostbite might be feeling his age. Though as his secondary continued to speak he felt his guilt give way to a sort of panic. His practice suddenly seemed inadequate, he felt like a nervous yearling again, unsure and feeling unworthy. He'd always known this day was coming, though he hadn't really felt like that upcoming reality was real.
Reigning in his quickened breathing he took a few deep breaths to calm himself, in truth he wasn't going to deny Frostbite the retirement he deserved and he knew logically he'd be fine even if that panic was pounding in his ears. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried but I think I can manage it." He said, his lips lifting slightly in a smile.
There was relief painted on his features. Torin stated he was worried but he felt he could manage. It was relieving that Frost could finally get his retirement, to focus more on his growing children, teaching them, and watching them grow. He could relax a little more, but he wouldn't become lazy. He still had work to do to ensure his kids knew their family, loved their family, and develop into who they would become. Their mother had been absent on and off and he wanted to be sure it didn't effect them negatively. He smiled at Torin.
"I can imagine that your worried, but you have come a long way and I believe you will be a fine leader for Lirim. If it helps at all I know your mother would be so proud of you if she were here and I know your father is," he stated.
There had been some tension within his family, but being a father himself he knew Zell was proud of him even if he didn't always show it.
"And if you need support I'll still be here and will have your back if you need it," he said his smile turning into a bit of a grin.
In truth it was somewhat awkward to hear such words of praise from the older man; and Torin just nodded. Not really sure he believed the encouragement. His mother as more a mystery to him than anything else at this point; having left her barely grown son in charge of a pack... and he supposed Rory took after her... As for his father? Well if Zell felt any pride towards his son he certainly didn't show it.
He flicked his ears, trying to dispel some of the awkwardness he felt, instead latching onto the next things Frostbite said. He nodded thoughtfully. He was glad for the older man's continued support and knew that in the next few coming weeks that backing from and older, respectable member would be important if not for anyone else but himself. Torin wasn't convinced he would shoulder the responsibility of the pack alone, perhaps one of his nephews in a years time could also learn to help lead... maybe his own father... though not before they managed to hash anything out. "Do you know yet when you're looking to step down?" He asked, watching carefully.
Torin merely nodded to his first set of words. He knew there had been a lot of tension between him and his father and perhaps Torin didn't feel like his father had pride in him. Frost knew though, being a father himself that no matter how upset and angry he may get towards any of his kids, he still felt proud of them. He was sure it was there for Zell, no matter how much he may bury it. Torin would then poise a very good question that made Frost feel a little guilty. Frost really would love to start now, but he knew that wasn't at all fair to Torin. It was selfish of him to want to start right now and not give Torin some time to prepare, but he had been preparing since Frost switched roles with him.
"Soon, the end of this season or beginning of spring," he said. "Spring is when I really plan to start training with the kids, hopeful to find some other wolves to help teach them and since Star has disappeared again........ I'm on my own to ensure the kids won't be effected negatively."
He was sure Torin had noticed her absence again. Frost was feeling utterly heartbroken over it, but he did a decent job of hiding how depressed it truly made him. It helped that he still shared a den with the kids, if he hadn't he would be feeling worse. They kept him from slipping into depression and not giving him the chance to truly be alone, which he was thankful for.
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