Their closeness was still new to her. While it was familiar, Eris was beginning to get the creeping sensation that this embrace was different than the ones she had shared with her family and the other Ademre. "Your investment," Eris giggled, finding the idea very funny. Like she was something precious. How silly, she was just herself. "I'm not an investment," she added, wiggling a little bit. Her body was loosening up - it felt a little bit like rubber. "Nooope, nope, I'm just Eris," she murmured. His next sentence froze her a little bit. There was a hint of possession to his voice that made her hackles rise just a little bit in curiosity and another strange feeling she couldn't identify. In fact, she didn't even have a word for it. Although the Ademre were casual with their relations, with the commotion of her siblings going missing, she had missed a somewhat important element of teaching from her elders - the birds and the bees, as it were. All she knew was that she wanted this moment to last a very long time. Hours stretching into days into something close to infinity. If she could bottle this feeling, wolves from all around would surely fight claw and fang just to taste a lick of it. "Speech." Ademic

She only focused on his mention of his investment into her, her antics amusing as she wiggled beneath his head and mumbled with a slur in her voice. He couldn’t help but to smile as she assured him, she was just Eris. She started to get oddly still and quiet as he spoke in honest tones with her. Ox felt a fluttering in his chest, not expecting an answer but getting nervous as she remained silent.

Trying to push his insecurities away the boy held her tighter. ”Eris?” He asked her, nuzzling into her fur again. He didn’t know why he felt so weak around her, why he hadn’t hesitated in putting himself in incredible danger for her sake. What was wrong with him? He was quickly falling back into his dark thoughts. He didn’t ever want to let go of her, but he was afraid of what that meant. Being vulnerable like this with another wolf had only gotten him hurt in the past, he couldn’t know if this would end the same. He needed to be out for only himself, when he wasn’t, injuries happened.

He buried his face into her belly again, making the decision that all the pain in the world was worth being close to her like this. Despite being completely vulnerable, physically to the world, and emotionally to her. Oxide had never felt so safe.

"Oxide... Ox, Oxenfree..." She giggled, nuzzling into his face. They were breathing the same air. Eris wondered if they were feeling the same feelings. As high as she was, this seemed like obvious logic. "Olly olly oxenfree," she muttered, grooming his cheeks tenderly. He tasted like the remains of his breakfast and a spicy undertone of the herbs she'd fed him. "What are you feeling?" she asked, opening her eyes wide. This close, Eris couldn't make out a single thing. It was just one plane of existence, and that plane was Eris-and-Oxide. She blinked. Unless someone else told her, she would never know that they had the same color eyes. "I'm feeling very Tor-blessed - she is this ... she's a goddess, and she protects me," The she-wolf mumbled, snuffling gently in his ear. She wanted to absorb every particle of his being. "But I also feel like I ate about one hundred fireflies, and they are blinking in time, and they are saying your name." At the end of last summer, she had been fascinated by fireflies. For the rest of her life, their brilliance would be confined to her memories. "What's your favorite thing you've ever seen?" Eris asked, realizing somberly that she would miss fireflies more than she'd ever thought she could. "Speech." Ademic

Her affections liked to get him as high as the plant she had so kindly given to him. Eris muttered nonsense as she groomed and touched him gently. He didn’t release her, and held her as close as he could considering his injuries. Oxide breathed in deeply and peacefully for one of the first times in his life. The experience was intoxicating, and he reveled in the light and bubbly feelings that raced over his emotions and body. ”What are you feeling?” her voice was quiet and sweet as her lips played with the fur of his rusted ear. He didn’t much understand her, he had never been introduced to some higher power. ”Lucky,” he whispered back to her as he found her white flecked ear. Of all the wolves he could have stumbled upon, She was the on that fit perfectly.

Ox’s breath caught as she told him about the fireflies trapped within her. The same feeling welled within him. It was uncomfortable but exhilarating at the same time. ”My name?” He asked, almost uncertain about knowing she was struggling with the same strange emotions. What was his favorite thing he ever saw? Oxide was silent for a long moment as he just breathed in her scent. ”You tell me first.” He replied instead of answering the question.

Lucky. Well, wasn't that funny. Eris was the one who should have been feeling lucky. By all accounts, she should have been dead when she got lost in the quicksand. "Oh, oh, I feel lucky too!" She quickly added, giving his paw a little lick. "beeeecause you're my hero!" It was true. The cannabis was in full effect now, and she was totally, blissfully under its influence. With her small stature, quick metabolism, and lack of food in her belly... it was a recipe for what some might call success and others might consider a nightmare. Cannabis typically hit her hard and fast, but left her system quickly. She was determined to the enjoy her high while it lasted. "Oh, yes. They're blinking in unison, saying Oxide, Oxide, Oxide! Like if I could say your name in Ademic... but with light... Wait, I have an idea!" Eris said suddenly. If she was more in control of her faculties, she would have leaped to her paws in triumph. Instead, she lazily wriggled beneath him and giggled. He was so big. "You can't usually say names in Ademic, but I'm going to give you a silent name - just for you and me! It'll be a secret," she whispered, holding the 'ssssssss' sound of secret a little too long. If her eyes weren't already red, they'd be bloodshot. Eris tapped a sequence on top of his paw - it was two medium-length taps followed by one long press. She grinned at him and licked his nose. "That's you!" What she didn't tell him was that it really translated to lovingly or with great affection, she had just held the final press for a beat longer. She ruminated on what her favorite thing she'd ever seen was. It was a difficult question, since lately she couldn't see much at all. Mostly images from her early youth came to mind - the first time she'd met Lament and her sisters, the Sword Tree in full bloom... and then the feeling of spotting his blurry form across the empty plains. Did that count? She couldn't really see him. "I can't see very well lately... so, when I find my favorite thing, you'll have to tell me all about it. Now you answer!" "Speech." Ademic

Eris didn’t hide her inebriation very well as she bubbled enthusiastically and told him that she too felt lucky. Her reasoning surprised him and his ears pulled tighter to his head, he was certainly no hero. ”Heros are selfless, Eris…” His voice was soft, and he had no real intention of breaking her illusions of him. He dropped the subject and continued to listen to her sweet voice as she went on. He felt tingles go up his spine as she said him name three times. She wiggled beneath his head then, eager to share with him the sign for his name in Ademic. He tried to commit it to memory, but he wasn’t sure if he could.

”What’s yours?” He asked as he nuzzled the soft fur behind her ears with his rusty nose again. His own high was mellow, and seemed to creep up on him. All at once he fell like he was falling into the mossy bed. What was his favorite sight? ”My mother’s smile.” He lied, though it was a close second. Nysa almost never smiled at him and he could remember three instances his whole life that she had smiled for him. What was really his favorite was when he’d come upon Eris’ backside. Her front all stuck in the quicksand while her white marked tail waved frantically.

”Finding you in the quicksand is close though,” He whispered almost as an afterthought. Only a little while ago he didn’t even know Eris existed. Now he clung to her with a ferocity he hadn’t known was possible.

Selfless shmelfless... The word became nonsense in her head and she ignored it. Too difficult to think about right now. In fact, all she could think about was how pleasantly warm the sun was and how she seemed to emanate heat from the inside out. Her dark fur soaked up every ray, creating a tiny black hole of warmth. This sensation, along with her intense high, created a maelstrom of emotion inside her. She didn't quite have the vocabulary to articulate what she wanted - or really, what her body wanted. Instead, Eris lay tucked close to Oxide, whirling in exquisite chaos. She was drooling a little bit. The poor girl hadn't noticed until she dripped a bit on to his fur, and she laughed nervously. Eris was embarrassed, but only a little. It gave her a good excuse to groom him again, which she took full advantage of. Playfully, she placed a few gentle nips along his skin, in places far away from his wounds. Uh oh. He asked her what her name was in Ademic. Her brain was sluggish to react. There wasn't much juice left in there, and she wasn't sure if she could fake another convincing linguistic fib. Eris in Ademic... What would her fake name be? Well, what did she want her name to mean to Oxide? After a long silence, Eris signed the word for with lust on top of his paw. It was five rapid-fire taps and clearly communicated some kind of urgency. "Oooh, I bet your mom was beautiful, because you are so..." So what? Handsome? Strong? Desirable? Too many good adjectives. She didn't finish her sentence. Tor, she was so high. Oh, but finding her was a close second? "What did you like about that?" Eris asked, brow furrowed and clearly confused. She had looked absolutely pathetic! "There wasn't anything nice about that!" she insisted. Speaking of, it had been a long time since she'd been able to make herself out in still waters. Eris didn't quite remember what she looked like, and so she asked (well, commanded): "Tell me what I look like." "Speech." Ademic

Oxide was too tired to notice her absent drooling on him, but he did notice her careful grooming. Her teeth against his skin distracted him from the sleep his body sought. Eris was all he was able to focus on as she obsessed over him and the imperfections in his fur. She sent cold chills up his spine, was she teasing him? Did she know what that was doing to him? He attempted to stifle the feelings as she was distracted by his question of her own secret name. Not knowing what she had meant for it to mean he repeated the sign on her paw.

He almost corrected her, and was so caught up in his awful thoughts of Nysa he didn’t notice that she had trailed off. He didn’t want Nysa to invade again, he wanted to focus on Eris and how good she was able to make him feel. After this, her herbs and her snuggles, and the closeness they shared… he could come close to saying she had paid him back. He’d take the pain of his injuries a thousand times if he could also have this. No cares in the world but how soft her fur was against his lips.

”It was the first time I saw you.” He tried to diffuse her. ”What you look like?” He tried to meet her foggy gaze in the dark. ”A small, dark furred she wolf. With white markings that resemble the fire burning inside.” He slowed, and his voice lowered. “With deep, beautiful ruby eyes, and a perfect smile.” Maybe he was laying it on thick, but he was high and found his tongue loose. He meant every word, and his sober self would hope those words didn’t come back to bite him.

When he signed her "name" back to her, Eris felt a little thrill race up her spine. If he only knew... she felt a little bit guilty for tricking him and she hoped that this fib wouldn't come back to bite her. Maybe he would think it was funny. Was she funny? All of sudden, she felt self-conscious. Would he choose to spend any time with her after his wounds were healed? If he did, why? It would just be a waste of time. She was three-quarters blind, small, practically worthless. Without her family to help her out, there might come a day when she couldn't even catch fish any more - she wouldn't be able to feed herself without the help of others. Nothing more than a burden. This line of thinking wasn't new to Eris, but curled up next to Oxide, it was certainly the most anxiety she'd felt in a long time. She had a desperate need for him to like her and find her valuable. The small wolf had no inkling that he was more interested in her tenderness and affections than her ability to be self-sufficient. The Ademre in her still struggled with her inability to fight. Although she had taken the Oath of the Star and tried to be a dedicated servant of Tor, nothing seemed to fill the void inside her. Except this dervish of warmth that Oxide inspired deep in her body, somewhere below her stomach. "Oh," Eris breathed aloud as he described her. Was that true? She knew she had dark fur, but from the way he was speaking, she sounded almost special. Her face grew hot, but she was sure that it was the cannabis acting. "Well... what do you look like?" She asked, licking his chin. All she knew of Oxide was that he was lighter in color and much larger than her. His size would be highly prized among the Ademre - but only if he was a capable fighter. Eris supposed that brute strength was also a shortcoming. If he was large and clumsy, that would be no good at all... but something told her that wasn't the case. "Speech." Ademic

He couldn’t know the insecurities she held within as he described her as he saw her, Ox’s head still rested comfortably against her belly. He smiled softly as he allowed the plant to take hold and carry his stress and anxiety away. Eris and her voice did the rest. Oh...what do you look like?” She asked as he closed his ruby eyes and just breathed her in for a long moment. He didn’t know that he wanted these few moments to end. He hated to be cooped up, but if he could extend this moment to the end of time he would have remained right there.

”My fur is mostly varying shades of gray and silver. Then my hips, knees, forearms, and uh mane are rust or copper color. I’ve got marks under my eyes that most of my family share.” Oxide thought he was pretty good looking, not that any of that would matter to Eris anyway. She seemed so naive and innocent, he wasn’t sure he wanted her to see him. What would she do when she really got to know him? Were it not for Deimos’s intervention would Nysa still be alive after their huge fight? Would he still be clinging to life? Internally he shook himself of the what-ifs. He was enjoying the present despite his wounds.

Inhibitions aside Oxide shifted his head enough that his lips could touch Eris’ dark muzzle. His pink tongue slipped from his lips and kissed her shyly. Though he was emboldened with her own affections she’d offered earlier. ”When my chest is healed,” He told her as he decided on it, Oxide kissed her again more boldly. ”I need to wrap you in my arms, and I don’t know if I’ll let go.” Though his voice was barely a whisper he sounded disappointed in the fact as he gave in to any reservations he had about telling her how he felt. He didn’t have any idea how he was going to work everything out, but he knew he wanted her curled up beside him.

Eris tried to picture him in her head, but she didn't really have any basis for his body. The best she could do was overlay his colors onto Lament's body, the only male she could recall from her childhood. Could he do better? "What about your body?" She asked, nosing along his ears and the base of his neck. The small wolf tried to map his body in her head, but she was having trouble putting it all together. The only thing she could completely memorize was his scent. That heady smell that had followed her everywhere since she'd tracked him to the barren fields where the wolverine had attacked him. It was only... yesterday? Was that right? It felt like it was months ago. She felt like she had known him before she'd even been born. Her small body fit well into his larger one. Eris wondered if she could fit underneath him when he was standing up, and the thought made her laugh. What a thought - to fit underneath him. What if he leaned his weight on her? Would he be heavy? Another strange, delicious shiver raced up her spine. She wasn't quite sure why she was so titillated at the thought. Never let her go. What a lovely thought. "If you're gonna be with me forever, you better meet my family," Eris nodded, kissing him back shamelessly. There were no feelings of regret - Eris wasn't acquainted with that emotion at all. To love him was to revel in her deepest, most spiritually true self. Tor would howl with her at the moon tonight. "You should pray to Fenris and ask him for his blessing to bind our mortal souls," Eris said dreamily. She wasn't sure if that was appropriate, especially as he was not of her people, but she desperately wanted some sign or message from the gods. Or her family. "You should join us... it's quite simple, really. We believe that there can be no good without evil, or happiness without sadness - there is a balance in all things." It made perfect sense to her. For his suffering at the claws of the wolverine, he had been rewarded with her affections and the Tor-blessed plant that they had both consumed. "Speech." & Ademic

She wasn’t completely satisfied with his answer, and pressed him further as she offered little distractions in the form of affection. He basked in her attention, his toes curled and his rust marked tail wagged absently behind him. His garnet gaze was closed as he enjoyed the moments as they ticked by. ”I’m rather heavy for my height, thick boned, long legs. Great muscle tone.” He added with a chuckle as he buried his nose behind her ear, aiming to tickle the sensitive skin beneath the soft fur.

His grin widened as she seemed to accept his proposal, however she seemed to jump in feet first with no abandon. He opened his eyes at the thought, realizing how much responsibility he had facing him. Binding souls and joining the Ademre. He wasn’t sure what he thought. He paused, his whole body stiffening as the anxieties rushed back in. ”I might need a little time to think about all that.” He admitted softly. Had she not seen how much he valued his freedom? He couldn’t allow himself to be so tied down. Here and now there was nothing holding him except the violent wounds on his chest, and Eris’s intoxicating presence.

Oxide tried to snuggle back into his fur, but it felt like a stormcloud had gathered over his head. It was weighing on his shoulders heavily, ”I don’t want to think about then. I want this. Right here and now. This perfect connection, just me and you.” But it could never last as long as he wanted.

Great muscle tone Good. He was powerful. But in some sense, she had already known that. Ox was strong enough to grab her from the quicksand's hold (she could swear that there was still mud stuck between her toes) and powerful enough to fend off the wolverine. He was a good choice - although she wasn't sure exactly what kind of choice she was making. To have him in her vicinity was to benefit from his power, and his presence was absolutely intoxicating. It was better than any leaf she'd consumed. More importantly, with Oxide at her side, Eris wasn't alone. To be left alone in the darkness that waited for her once her sight finally failed was her worst nightmare. She'd woken from sleep more times than she could count, wracked by a paralyzing sensation of darkness and loneliness and covered in the kind of sweat that only nightmares brought. Eris realized that perhaps he didn't understand what she meant. It didn't occur to her that there was any kind of courtship other than the Ademic practice of taking a chosen partner. You poured your emotion into them like a sieve, but it did not mean a union of mortal flesh. From Eris' limited understanding of what came after love, it was not something that was reserved for one person. To love was a higher calling. To share your body was to work out your carnal feelings, but to share your heart was something else altogether. Taking a moment to consider this, she tried to explain. Her brain was still sluggish but it was starting to wake up again. "It would be this. Forever. It would be to share... our hearts, our innermost being. We would belong to each other. But the body is separate - the body is free to do as it will," she murmured, furrowing her brow. What was it that the body did, anyway? "Speech." & Ademic

She was silent as he spoke about his insecurities and she quieted for a long moment. He wasn’t sure if he had said too much, or the wrong thing, and his anxiety spiked before he nuzzled back into her belly. She was quickly becoming some kind of antidote to his uncomfortable emotions, and he didn’t know if he’d be able to deny her even with his reluctance at being confined.

Eris made her attempt to soothe his worries as she told him of the reality she offered to him. ”..our hearts, our innermost being...the body is free” He let them wash over him like her soothing scent. He sighed heavily into her side as he relaxed against her. ”I’d like that.” He gently pressed his nose to her cheek as it was his turn to soothe her. ”So, what does it take to… bind our souls?” He asked somewhat cheekily as he repeated her dreamy phrase. ”Does it have anything to do with taking a nap?” His eyelids were growing heavier the longer they spoke. She had him as a captive audience for a few days, he could offer up his prayer or whatever later.

The cannabis was leaving her body now, but in a pleasant, slow departure. She was more tired now than she had ever been, or ever would be again - at least, that's how it felt. A nap sounded glorious. It would give her time to think. There wasn't a true ritual to agreeing to be primary partners, and there had only been one or two pairs (and one trio) that had been bonded back home. They weren't here now, so she couldn't ask them how they knew... was it this same electricity, or was it different for everyone? What if this was the wrong choice? Eris fidgeted slightly underneath him, but relaxed as he pressed his nose to her cheek. It would be a while before she could talk to her siblings about this, but maybe they would know. They were a bit older, more worldly, and had always helped her on the right path before. Was this the lethani? Oh, it was all so confusing, and sleep was so simple. "I think it starts with that," she replied, closing her eyes and putting her infinite questions to bed. "Speech." & Ademic