The healer had finally finished her work, and Zee had been given time to rest. The guard waited anxiously outside the den, sleeping in front of the door, where he could not trouble her with the sight of him, but still keep her safe. He was replaying the scene over and over again in his head. The dream that had captured him, and then the moment he had awoken, and realised his teeth were clamped about the throat of Zee. He could still taste her blood in his lips. He kept himself from shuddering at the memory, but only just. Such a fool he was, lulled into complacency by the easy life in this pack. Of his friendship with Zee. he should have been protecting her, instead he had invited her into his den. He had given her the impression he would keep her safe, and he had turned on her. There was something broken inside of him. It wasn’t the first time he had had the thought. He was going to have to embrace it sooner rather than later. Perhaps he needed to isolate himself from those he loved. Well the number of wolves that fell under that category was very, very small, it didn’t make the idea any easier. He slumped down further, tail flicking against the earth as he concealed his growl. He wasn’t certain exactly what he was going to do next, but he would need to make his decision soon. "Speech"

The flurry of activity had drained Zee nearly as much as the attack itself. Every time her eyes tried to slide shut, they'd force themselves awake once more to stare into the bloodied discarded rabbit pelt Sirius had used upon her neck. Her breathing was more even now, coming out with an occasional pained gasp as the motion pulled at the punctures upon her neck. Luce had responded so quickly and worked so hard to repair the damage, feeding her herbs and treating her as if she deserved life. She would have still felt touched by the kindness shown had she not still felt so off from the wolfsbane. It was a brilliant sedative, though it made her head swim with fog. Sirius wasn't there, and Zee wasn't sure if the thought was comforting or terrifying. She missed his warm embrace and the way he held her so very tight when he thought he might have killed her, though she could not forget the tight hold upon her neck and the soul-crushing fear that took hold of her while she lay struggling in his jaws. Her eyes shut once more at the memory, before the fear forced them open again to continue looking upon the pelt. She couldn't stay here. Carefully the she-wolf pulled herself to four paws, rocking slightly under the influence of the herbs. Her vision blurred, though she focused hard enough upon the den's exit that she made it there without incident. However easy it was to walk across the stone floor, Zee had forgotten the way Sirius had raised his home upwards off the ground. She lifted a paw to tread past the pelt doorway and felt a fur-raising moment of panic as there was suddenly no ground beneath her step where she had expected it to be. Zee's front end went first and her rear tumbled along after her, rolling out the den and thumping onto the grass chest-first. Her eyes squeezed shut in quiet defeat, too frustrated and drained to possibly stand once more. There upon the ground she settled in the awkward pose, head upon the ground and resigning to stay here forever if it meant she didn't need to move anymore. At least she was out of the den. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

He didn’t want to separate himself from Zee, his attachment to her was strong, and alluring. It would be difficult to give that up in favour of keeping her safe, but would it really be any different then keeping Deathbelle at arms length so she could choose a mate better than he? His heart ached, he didn’t want to deny himself the presence of the two most important wolves to him. He wanted to be in their lives, to share friendship with one and love with the other. If he was only dangerous in his sleep, he could increase the size of the den and his distance from her… assuming she ever wanted to be near him again. He wasn’t sure entirely how that would work, but it was easier to dwell on this thought then the idea of abandoning her entirely. He was distrubed from his thoughts by the sound of movement in the den, and he lifted his head, listening carefully. Was she awake already? He was in front of the door, but as she brushed past he moved quickly to the side so as not to be in her way. His head was lowered, weary of frightening her, but apparently he need not have bothered. She didn’t even seem to notice him as she pushed past the doorward, missed the elevation and tumbled head first onto the ground. He was already moving to catch her, but it was too late. He cursed under his breath and landed on the ground beside her. From there, he was hesitant, and kept a slight distance between them. “Zee?” he whispered softly. He wanted to approach, help her up, and check she was okay, but feared any interference from him would be unwelcome/ "Speech"

It felt like she was on the ground for an hour, but in reality it was mere moments after bumbling out of the den that she noticed her friend. She squinted up at him, unable to remember exactly why she thought he was so scary. Looking upon his solemn face brought her no fear and instead she simply felt warm and safe. "Sirius." She greeted, voice soft. "You can pretend you never saw anything, okay?" Her eyes shut once more and she nuzzled into the grass below before realizing how foolish her plan was to stay forever outside the den. "I'm just going to go home." She moved to stand once more, a raspy exhale sounding with the effort. Her legs still didn't seem to want to work well, and when her paw hit a small stone she stumbled slightly over it. A soft touch  from Sirius' nose upon her shoulder kept her from falling all together, the nudge cautious and brief lasting only as long as necessary to keep her upright. Regardless, Zee's anxiety swelled and for a fleeting moment the haze of the herbs vanished. She turned her head to snap - jaws aiming to land upon his offending muzzle. The movement shot daggers into her wound, and a low growl sounded from her in response. It took a moment before she calmed, hardened eyes upon him barely long enough for a few mere breaths before she realized what it was she did. The attack came back to her quickly, and the slave fell into a posture that rarely came easy for her. Ears pinned against her skull and her head slumped between her shoulders, tail tucking between her legs as she lowered herself before him. "I'm sorry." She whispered, gaze fixed upon the deadly tips of his saber fangs. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

“Saw what?” he asked, but his voice was devoid of amusement. He wanted to offer her a comforting smile, but couldn’t quite manage it at the moment. She was in pain, wobbly on her feet, and it was all his fault. He was supposed to be a protector to those he loved, and disdainful to outright aggressive to strangers. When she spoke of going home, his heart pinched painfully. home she said, as through their shared den was no longer that to her. It hurt, but he would not keep her here. If she felt safer away from him, then he would help her move and keep his distance. Whatever she needed. She deserved that. When she tripped, he was there in an instant, trying to keep her from taking further damage. He had failed to stop her first tumble, so now he was on the lookout for exactly this. As his nose touched her, he saw her turn aggressive, smelled her fur, and her teeth snapped in open air. His instinct as a fighter had him back peddling and getting room before it really registered that it was Zee attacking him. “No, Zee, I am.” he whispered, keeping the gained distance between them. “I’m so sorry. I… I knew that I had night terrors, and I should have told you. Warned you. This is all my fault, and you have suffered for my idiocy” he whispered. He had tried to keep her in her bed, but he had never told her why "Speech"

Zee's emotional state wavered under the influence, moving rapidly from contrite and fearful to frustrated, then full of malice. Her eyes hardened at his apology and following words, and she turned her head to spit a wad of saliva that built in her still partially wolfbane-numbed mouth against her will. "Why wouldn't you say anything? If you fucking dream of hurting me in your sleep you could have said something sooner, and rid yourself of all this guilt. If you don't remember, it was you who forced me to den with you. It wasn't my idea." It wasn't her idea, right? Her eyes glazed slowly as she struggled to recall the day. Somehow she remembered the titan using his brute strength to shove her out the door. Was he always so heavy handed with her? The small girl was overwhelmed in her state, and the anger faded so quickly that she felt like she wanted to collapse once more without the hate fueling her depleted energy. "I told you I love you, and this is what you really think of me? I don't understand why it would be me to haunt your nightmares." Her voice became very soft, and somewhat ashamed for whatever thing her dream-self had done to him to cause such a rampage. Her posture slumped, and she peered up at him through the exhaustion. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

"Not you" he said miserably, knowing he was in the wrong and having no recourse. He knew he should shut up, and leave well enough alone. She had a right to hate him, and for a lot more then just this. Considering all the times he had driven her head into the ground and growled at her, she should have hated him a long time ago. "Its... I almost died.. I relive it." Lame. That's what his excuse was. He couldn't explain how he had thought he could protect her, when the truth was he had known he could hurt her. He was an arrogant fool.

"No, zee, not you. I wanted to protect you." He said. He didnt coke any closer, a much as he wanted to. Instead, the titan sunk to the stones beneath his feet, taking away the temptation to move towards her. He could see the confusion in her eyes, a d was uncertain if it was the drugs or the wounds he had delbt her. He could still smell her blood. Still taste it. Monster. that's what he was. He had killed before, and he had always been able to live with it, but this attempt on Zees life was too much for him. "You should have hated me from the start. I'm not good for you" he said truthfully, eyes looking to the distance, somewhere behind her.

Zee gave a heavy exhale, overly frustrated with his demeanor. "Oh, Sirius." She sighed, her tone tense and angry. "Just stop. I can't handle your playing the victim right now." The small girl slumped onto the floor, a paw lifting to place against her aching head. Her eyes shut hard, but still in the front of her mind was the image of his face - his terrifying fangs and blood along his jaw. "You know it's not an option for me to hate you, to avoid you. You're my best friend, and the one I love. It's silly to ask me to forget that." Her head was swimming with the thick fog of sedation and emotional turmoil, and she wanted more then anything to just fall asleep where she lay so she might not need to handle any of it any longer. "I'm sorry you have night terrors." She whispered softly, feeling the pain in her heart that came when she imagined him near-death and afraid. "You should have told me - warned me - but we're past that now. It's over, and it will never happen again." Her small voice got hard at the end of her words, punctuating them firmly. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

She was right, he was falling into the rhythms of drama he had seen around him, but never before participated in. Was that what love did to you? Ripped apart your sanity and left you bare. He was like a fool, growling before her. He had made a mistake, now he had to own it. He straightened, looking to Zee as he let his internal war rage on. Something about her dragged his emotions through the mud and left him feeling confused. Now, her words slapped him out of it just as easily as they had dragged him in. Damn woman, who knew they made life so complicated. "I'm no victom." He clarified. He knew exactly what he was.

"Let me start again." It wasnt a question. He held his distance from her as the giant chewed through his words mentally, and came upon something he found acceptable, even if they weren't exactly the easiest to hear. "I told you to sleep in your ledge, not my bed. You chose not to do so, and it had consequences. Those consequences are mightier then your actions, but sometimes that's life." Yeah, that was going to go down well with her. "I chose not to tell you what I experianced, and now I have to live with the knowledge that I hurt you, when I could have prevented it."
As much as this was going to stick in his mind for a long time, he knew she had gotten the shorter end of the stick.

She said she loved him, and he held onto that, and tries not to let it tie his emotions into knots again. He kept it a soft, exasperated sigh, because he couldn't figure out for the life if him why she did. For that matter, why he lived her. She was a thorn in his side, with her attitude and actions, always getting then both into trouble. But he did, he really did love her. "Your right, it will never happen again." He said, his voice falling soft again, but he kept any anguish from it. This wasnt some play, he wasnt going to be groveling at her feet in tears. He would face what he had done on his paws.

Zee huffed softly, a portion of her usual sass coming into her exasperated tone. "Oh, so now it's my fault?" She deadpanned, eyes narrowing at the titan. "It's not like you've set any boundaries for me to go off. You've allowed me to sleep beside you more than once during thunderstorms, sometimes it was you who came next to me. Am I to expect you are cured of your night terrors but only during a thunderstorm?" She wanted so badly to slap him, or bite him, or something. It was silly however, and the slave settled for giving him the dirtiest look she could manage. "Well you won't have to worry about me sleeping outside of my ledge for a while." While her tone still held a fair bit of bite to it, Zee's eyes softened. Hopefully he'd catch onto the subtlety in her words - that she'd still stay with him in his den. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

At least her sass was easier to bare then her pain, fear of misery. Perhaps that was the cure, keeping her angry at him. He almost snorted at the stupid thought, but didn’t entirely dismiss it. “I don’t sleep during thunderstorms for this reason.” he explained to her, thinking back to those sleepless nights when he had lain beside her and comforted her. He took her disgruntled look in stride, hating but accepting the distance between them as a consequence for his inaction. He should have disclosed all dangers to her, and he did not. He thought he could manage this issue, and he had failed to do so. He did however raise an eyebrow in surprise when she mentioned how she would still be sleeping in her ledge. Did she imply she wasn’t taking herself elsewhere, or did she expect him to vacate his den? One was hopeful, but the latter sounded more like Zee in her bid for revenge. ‘Your staying?” he ventured, in the hope for some clarification. She had reacted to him in fear and well he was currently doing his best to suppress all emotion, that still pinged something inside of him. "Speech"

So he didn't sleep on the nights when he comforted her? Zee's expression softened, and she gave a quiet sigh of sympathy. "You should have told me." She repeated quietly, eyes falling off his face to look down at the ground while she spoke. "You are my friend, and you should start acting that way. If something bothers you, if something concerns you... you can tell me. You don't need to keep secrets from me." The small girl's head lifted back to regard him, and she closed the space between them slightly. She wasn't quite in his personal bubble, though she got close enough to lift her front paw and aim to place it softly upon his own. "If you'll still allow me to, I'd like to stay." She murmured her response, feeling anxiety begin to clench at her throat. Though she wanted badly to forgive him, she couldn't help the fear that rose when she imagined being alone at night in the same den. Zee did not want to leave the security he'd given her there, but she had a feeling she'd struggle for sleep in the coming weeks. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

He shuffled slightly, uncomfortable with the admittance of his sleepless nights, it was more a truth about his weakness than anything else, but she seemed softened by it. Her eyes dropped to the floor, and he felt the desire to comfort her again. It was different to his possessiveness of her, that impulse that had dragged her into his den in the first place. He had been ready then to fight fang and claw against any that sought to do her harm. It was a reckless, wild, need to control her. Now, he wished to step back, to offer her comfort, apologies, and somehow fix what he had broken. She was changing him, and he wasn’t entirely certain it was for the better. This added further weakness to him, it changes his dynamic in the pack and his relationship with its Alpha. She was complicating his life something fierce, and he wasn’t certain how to cope. “I’ve already agreed to allow you to be my moral compass… to allow truths between us is only a small step further” he said, an agreement, if in a bullheaded roundabout way. She came closer to him, and he was struck with the soft scent of her, and the gentleness of her paw as it touched lightly above his own. He looked down, marvelling at the sheer differences in their size. this soft creature, with a paw so small he could lose it among his own, and a fierceness in her nature that at times almost cowed him. “You are always welcome in my home Zee, in our home.” he promised her. He might be struggling with a lot, with what he had done to her, and how she was changing him, but that was a constant. He would always defend her, and welcome her into their den. "Speech"

Zee nodded firmly as he agreed to not keeping any more secrets, though the movement in her head caused her to almost lose her balance. She blinked away a sleepy fog, and then sighed heavily when it returned nearly immediately. "I need to go to sleep." The thought came suddenly, and Zee realized if she did not return to the den soon that she'd find herself outside for the night. Luce would not approve. At the thought of the healer, she returned her attention to Sirius. "You're.. not allowed to stay tonight, right?" To be honest she didn't know what answer she was hoping for. Either he was able to work his way back into the den, and Zee would spend the night anxiously eyeing his over-sized fangs... or he'd not be allowed to stay, and Zee would miss his company. "Speech" "Thinking" "You."

He watched Zee, as clear signs of dizziness began to display itself, and the grimace on her expression was hardly a comforting one. He longed to pull her close, but didn’t want to jostle or scare her. He wished they could stay together, and he could talk to her about the changes inside of him. Of course, not only would that be unfair to the wolf he had just injured, but as Zee pointed out - he wasn’t welcome in his home right at that moment. “I don’t believe I am” he agreed, unwilling to push the healer at the moment. She had come when he had called, and she had fixed Zee up. He was very grateful for that. If that meant a few nights he couldn’t spend at home, then so be it. He just hoped that in a couple of days both her pain and her fears would lessen. “But I won’t be far off, if you need me, howl. I’ll have your back” he promised her. Needing her to know that his promise to protect her - even against Klein’s, still stood strong. Sensing that she was going to retreat back behind the sheepskin door soon, he took a very subtle step closer, watching her, trying to gauge her reaction. “May I?” he asked softly, indicating her cheek. He didn’t want to give her a chaste kiss if it was going to scare her more, but didn’t want to start an absence from her without some small affection. "Speech"

Zee managed a small smile at his response, appreciative with his confirmation that he was still longing to protect her against her masters. Thankfully Luce did not seem the beating type, and she doubted the healer would ever risk undoing her handiwork by inflicting any sort of pain upon Zee's still injured self. "Thanks." She murmured softly, backing away from him to prepare to head back inside the den. Her titan had her pause, and she searched his face with curiosity at his request. Zee tilted her head for a moment as she thought upon what he meant, but his following gesture made it clear for her. She blushed, head tilting away slightly as she felt the warmth in her face. A shallow nod of approval, and she watched him from the corner of her eye - gaze only lingering upon his fangs for a very short moment. "Good night, Sirius." She told him sadly. If only Luce would allow him to stay. "Speech"

He took the thanks as affirmation that she would call him if she needed it. It was a cold comfort, he would have much rather be there himself… if he hadn’t just proved himself unworthy. Damn his night terrors, and what they had lead to. Damn his silence, which robbed her of a chance to prepare herself and take action against it. Feeling a hint of anger rising inside of himself at the helpless situation, he sought to bury it as Zee bid him goodnight. She gave agreement to his kiss, and he leaned forward and very gently brushed his lips to her cheek. He made sure to keep his fangs well clear, and the action was slow as not to subtle, and did not linger. As much as he would have liked to. “Goodnight, little one.” he said back, his voice rich and warm for the moment, a change from the gruff tone he bore normally. He took a step back, but would linger until she was gone from his sight, and only then would he figure out what he was going to do about a den for the next night or two. It would only be for that long, surely? "Speech"