ardent

Firstborn Thoughts



Dhiren

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02-27-2014, 07:54 AM





Song was pregnant with her second batch of pups and Dhiren was secretly jealous. He knew that they would take his mother's attention once they came into the world and he wouldn't be allowed to enter the den. In his mind's eye, the way his mother would treat him would be different when her new sons and daughters came to exist outside of her belly. His soul twisted from the aching that came from such thoughts and he growled in protest when he was alone. Darkness swept over the boy who was swiftly growing into a young man from the thoughts of possible isolation with no love or warmth near him.
It may have been self pity, but Dhiren didn't give a damn! The Oracle was his mother, the first woman he would ever care about, and he didn't want to be tossed aside like a worn out toy. Selfishness swelled in his chest and as he paced through the mangroves, he furrowed his brow in frustration and bowed his head. Gold and silver eyes closed and he continued to walk through the familiar settings around him. What was he going to do once those babies were born? He just didn't know...
His eyes snapped open and he looked up to the scenery laid out in front of him. Song and Cherokee's den was about half a mile from where he stood and his heart sank. How dare he, bringing negativity around the land that his parents' home was on? Mentally, he slapped himself in the face with a white paw and physically, he shook his head. Dhiren Destruction had to get a grip, otherwise, his mom and dad would notice the changes that were slowly taking over. With signs of defeat, he padded towards the den where he once lived. Silently, he hoped his mother was still on bed rest.
When he was a few yards from the entrance, Dhiren's form became obvious in the light. His frame was lanky and obviously missing the heavy muscle that many wolves seemed to attain as they aged. Rather than gaining the genetics from Cherokee in regards to body mass, he had inherited Song's slender frame. Nevertheless, he wanted to prove his strength in ways that stood out aside from the physical nature. His mind was just as bright as the sun and he wanted to prove his worth for the pack, his sisters...and his parents. An image of a happy Song appeared in his mind and tears lightly fell from his eyes. How could she still love him after the thoughts he had of his unborn siblings? Another sigh escaped his dark lips and he continued to walk.
A few more steps brought him to the edge of the den, giving him light to see if anyone was within the darkened cave. Movements of bright white fur caught his Christmas-colored eyes and he tried to bring a smile to his lips. It was forced, but he hoped that Song wouldn't catch on. Dhiren knew that she would see through his mask, but he left it due to being drained. "Mama?" He called out, tones ringing a baritone that hadn't yet deepened. The Cherokee replica waited for a response, pondering what he would do if she told him to leave.





Speech,



Song

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KatG2
02-27-2014, 12:25 PM
The she wolf was once again confined to the den that she and Cherokee shared, it's emptiness was beginning to get to her. All she had to remember though was that she was sharing it happily with the incredibly round stomach she was carting around. She didn't remember being this big with the last litter and she was certainly not as helpless. Something was sapping her strength, so the decision to become confined to the den was made. She had easily traversed the continent during the first pregnancy, there had been absolutely no fear then. Now though.. She wouldn't tell anyone about her fear of the loss of life. Part of her had wanted to protest bed rest, to keep going about her daily duties. She had been given a vision shortly after. It told her of grave consequences were she not to keep herself confined. The possibility of losing her pups or her own life was too much to risk, so she had succumbed to the life of a hermit again. Cherokee was being too strong for her, he took up complete ownership of all the alpha duties. She knew he was working himself too hard, that he had too much on his plate, but she was still incredibly great full for him. She was also sad about Dhiren, she hadn't seen him as much as the last time she fell ill. He never left her side during that endeavor, she would wonder where he was now. Was he afraid of the life within her so much that he would avoid looking after her a second time? Her doubts would come to rest as the sweetest voice she had ever heard sounded at the entrance of the den. A relieved smile would come to her features as she struggled to direct her multi color gaze towards him. "Dhiren! My baby, I was just thinking about you. I've missed you since I've been sick. Why haven't you stayed with me this time?" she would keep her voice under control, the slight whimper keeping itself from her vocals. "Come lay by me, I can't really leave the den right now. I've gotten much to big for that." a giggle would fall from her lips as she invited her son to snuggle with her. She knew he was already a year old but she still wanted to cuddle him like he was much younger. She wouldn't notice that he was hiding his emotions just yet. The sun was behind him and would block his features completely.?



Dhiren

Loner

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02-28-2014, 02:42 AM





He paused at the entrance when her voice rang from within. Black and white ears flicked forward as he listened, taking note of the simple questions that held deeper meanings. She had missed his company, his doting on her and making sure she was fine when she had been so ill. Throughout the bleakness of the sickness, Dhiren had been there for Song. His mother was the most important woman in his life up until then and he intended to comply with that.
Dhiren slowly took a couple of steps forward before giving in to his mother's request. The height of the cave was a few inches higher than his back, so he was thankful that his spine didn't brush against the ceiling. A gentle sigh escaped his lips as his gold and silver gaze fell upon his gargantuan mother. She looked so helpless, bound to the earth by gravity and the weight of the unknown number of pups in her womb. He remembered when he was told that was where he used to be, but even if he tried, no memories of such a place came to him. Once he was fully inside the den, he reclined to his haunches and laid down across from her.
His front paws met his mother's, head slowly lowering to the outstretched legs. His tail limply bounced against his hind legs before sweeping to touch the cool den floor, little evidence of energy noted. At that moment, Dhiren didn't care if she took notice of his emotions. The mask had already fallen when he saw the large lumps beneath his mother's white coat. He figured it would be the right thing to explain his recent absence, so he did.
"I didn't want to be in the way, Mama." It was a simple explanation, but he continued. "When you were sick before, I didn't have to worry about stepping on an extra piece of belly or tripping over your outstretched legs. I had more room and, quite frankly, I wasn't nervous the first time." His stomach clenched as he continued to get closer to the root of his recent thoughts. "You being pregnant with those babies has changed everything and I am afraid of it changing how...how things will be between us." Dhiren felt his voice break and light tears appeared in his eyes. "I don't want to have anything change, Mama. I'm not going to be the only son anymore, the prodigy of Cherokee and Song that alone stood amidst his sisters. It sounds like I want the glory, but that's not it at all."
Dhiren gave a stuttered intake of breath and looked into her yellow and blue gaze. "How can I tell that once those babies come, you won't have time for me? I know I am a year old and supposed to be more independent, but part of me doesn't want to lose you to new children." His brows furrowed and he broke his gaze as fast as he had looked up to her. "You're my mama...no one else's." Even though he had shared her with his littermates, Dhiren had been fine with it because he was the only son. With this upcoming litter, the possibilities of more boys was high and he didn't like it.








Speech,



Song

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KatG2
03-06-2014, 09:08 PM
She would watch eagerly as her only son would carefully step into the darkened area. Her face would light up as she took in his appearance, he would make his way to a position similar to her own. His head would fall to his paws and song's own expression would change. Something was very much obviously bothering her little boy, his usual excited energy was gone. She would reach out as best she could to gently lick his forehead. She would keep herself silent, listening to his explanation of absence from her side. She would watch as he became quite emotional as the monologue would continue, she would do her best to scoot her enormous body closer to him. She just wanted to cuddle him and take away all the worries that had built up within. He would break their gaze and the she wolf would grow more concerned for her baby. "My Dhiren.. You will always be my baby, I don't care how many siblings you have. You are my very first, my first child and my first son. You will forever have that special title. I love you and your siblings so much, nothing will change that. My time may run a bit thinner when they come, but that gives you more reason to help out. The more help I receive the more time I can have for you!" she would giggle slightly as she remembered the times she would wrestle around with her previous litter. She felt bad that she had grown too big for such actions now. "And I'll always be your momma, okay? And you will always be my very first." again she would try to nuzzle him feebly.?



Dhiren

Loner

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03-06-2014, 09:46 PM






Dhiren noticed that she started to realize all was not right in his world. She consoled him, telling him that he was her first baby and nothing would change that. What made the reassurances void themselves was when she brought up him helping out with the babies. His ears slowly slid back against his head, but he kept himself from storming out of the den. He knew something like that would be brought up in the conversation, yet he didn't stop it.
The yearling became a bit frosty as Song reached out and nuzzled him. Instead of giving in, he refrained from returning the gentle touch and blinked back the tears that were wanting to surface. Once she pulled back, he pulled his front legs closer to his chest and rested his head against them. "It's still not helping, Mama," he softly said in deep tones. "No matter how much you tell me, you're still having those babies and everything is going to change. I don't know why I even bother worrying." Eyes shut tight and he curled himself into a ball, back facing his large mother. "All for nothing." It was the last thing he said before sighing softly and tightening the ball-like form he made.




Speech,



Kastiel

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Glacier
03-11-2014, 07:09 PM
It was obvious her son was experiencing a bit of turmoil within. She would feel her own pearly ears fall back as the boy would refrain from returning her nuzzle. She would patiently sit and await his next words, hoping she'd be able to console him somehow. It might just have needed to be tough love. Life was hard to deal with, it wasn't easy and you didn't always get your way. He would withdraw himself further from her, and as he did she would feel her heart break. "Dhiren, life is always changing. Rarely does anything stay the same. It's not always a bad thing either," her sweet voice would try an convince him, but in the end he would need to pull through this himself. "let me tell you something I learned a long time ago," she would begin, talking to his back, but still hoping he would listen. "Worrying about things will never get you anywhere, no matter how much of it you do, it will never change the situation. The best you can do is live in the moment and enjoy the present as much as you can." she would grow silent and place her head sadly upon her paws, hoping her boy would make it through this big life lesson unscathed.?



Dhiren

Loner

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Pup
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Male
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03-18-2014, 09:19 AM
He was polite and listened to the words his mother spoke. They came across to him as wisdom from his mother, even though he was not eager to hear them. A sigh escaped his lips and he closed his eyes as sleep tempted to take over. Dhiren was tired...he was tired of being in different moods within minutes and not being able to control it. Eyes remained closed as he said, "Yes ma'am....I'm just so....tired of it all" in a soft and resigned voice. Sleep overtook him and he soon disappeared into sleepy darkness.

-EXIT Dhiren-