when he awoke, it was dark. the soot and ash still covered the sky from beyond his location, blocking out most of the stars. but at least he hadn't passed out in a danger zone. he struggled to get to his paws; his neck stung like a bitch and there was something ontop of him that hindered his movements. with a last mighty shake, he shoved the carcass off of him. had that bastard did that when he passed out? fuck! he lifted his head to the sky and screamed. bellowing his frustrations out at the world, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes that he desperately tried to repress. Thaddeus felt hot shame burning in the pit of his stomach combined with other confusing emotions. he hadn't noticed his season had come, and that he was a year older and technically an adult now. but he knew that it didn't matter in the end. he had nobody to hold onto, no community to take him in, and worst of all he had fled away from the one person who had shown him kindness. if he went back to Olympia now, he'd just cause more problems. they couldn't fix him. he could barely fix this himself. "what the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" he shrieked, kicking out at the corpse beside him and tearing into it in a fit of rage. the world was ending. he didn't know if other worlds were though; he could run away and never come back if he thought about it. but he wasn't thinking straight. he needed something to grasp, some idea to hold... maybe even someone to be beside. not romantically necessarily, but just as an ally. a friend. someone he could depend on. someone who wouldn't care if they had to depend on him back. Thaddeus desired acceptance. but he wasn't sure if he would fight for it. so far his efforts had been in vain. the mutt lowered his head and he reclined upon the earth. his long tail twisted around his shaking legs, trying to find some form of comfort. "speech" thad is hurt and feeling down, so anyone welcome to help (and recruit) him rated M for heavy swearing, no formal mature thread

Eventually she was going to meet back up with her dad, he went back to Abaven, to check and make sure everyone was alright after the eruption. Poem had been even more desperate to find her sister. Their ravens could relay messages. She’d refused to go back, and they parted. Only for a little while. Edgar flew above her as she continued walking. Making her way westward. The North would be one of the most treacherous to search and the way was clear if not cold westward.

She jumped at the sound of a scream not so far from her position, the voice was oddly familiar. She looked up to Edgar, in a combination of gestures and calls Poem gathered she knew the wolf, and he didn’t look to be in imminent danger. Still, her white paws carried her more quickly towards him. When she set her eyes she knew this was Thaddeus, the odd man she’d met lasts season. ”Hey,” she started as he came into view. ”Are you.. okay, Thaddeus?”

he hated people seeing him like this. weak. utterly useless. helpless to his churning emotions. the blood that had steadily dripped from the bite mark around his neck had slowed at least. he tried to remember what Chrysanthos had told him about healing, only for him to push it stubbornly away with a raised lip. he had been growling to himself when Poem appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. he gave a start at her voice, twisting his neck (painfully) around only to wince as he faced her. his experiences with wolves as a whole were negative, but at least the girl had be kind to him. but then again, Chrysanthos had been kind to him only to cast him aside quickly. "err..." he felt embarrassed she saw him like this, not yet maturing into a more confident young man so he couldn't pass it off. had she heard him screaming? it wasn't like he could howl... as much as he wanted to. he flattened his one ear, the other still raised like a banner above his skull. "no" he looked away from her gaze, at the ground. she could clearly see he had been bitten by now if she was close enough. but it didn't hurt him as much as he thought it would. "but it ain't yer problem." no, he wouldn't let his problems become someone else's problems. he drew in a shuddery breath as he forced himself to look at Poem again. "what're... are ya fleein' or somethin'?" Abaven was so far away. he mentally looked her over, searching for any signs of damage. it appeared she had been spared. "speech" thad is hurt and feeling down, so anyone welcome to help (and recruit) him rated M for heavy swearing, no formal mature thread

Poem worried for her family, Motif who she could only hope and pray was still alive, and those dwelling in Abaven. The volcano was practically on Abaven’s doorstep. Who knew if they were even still alive. Hopefully a message from one of her dad’s ravens would reach her soon. She was distracted, but surely she had time to help her acquaintance get to safety. She lost interest in healing a while ago, Motif was the real healer between them. The thought made her ache for her sister’s presence.

”Maybe not, but if you need it I will try and help you.” She would do her mother proud if she were there to see her daughter. ”I’m.. I’m out searching for my sister. I hope she didn’t get caught up in any of it.” She looked back towards the east, Abaven’s lands lingering in the shadow of smoke and ash. Were the rest of them alive still? Were she and her dad the last ones? Surely not.. with Theory and her mom to lead them they had to be okay.

Thaddeus paused, his brows furrowing as he stared at the girl. so far, she'd been the only nice one without pitying him first. he still didn't know how to accept help from others, and he wouldn't ask her for it. his pride as a new man wouldn't allow it, but he could at least give her something. he sighed, shaking his head and looking away. "everyone looks at me like I'm different" he stated, harshly chuckling "and no matter what I do, or how I act... well, I ain't exactly wanted anywhere." he had no friends, no family, no pack. he was quite alone and didn't know how to handle it. his gaze found her's again. Poem said she was missing a sister, and he frowned. thoughts of Theodora plagued him and if he couldn't save his own sister... how was he to save someone else's? but it didn't stop him from trying. "do... ye want help lookin' fer her?" he asked the pureblood. his front legs shuffled against the ground as he tried to make himself less anxious. the moment of the eruption had long passed, but he didn't forget the fear he had and the need to help Olympia. but when he was turned away, he was now lost. if he could help someone, somehow, he'd feel validated. "speech" thad is hurt and feeling down, so anyone welcome to help (and recruit) him rated M for heavy swearing, no formal mature thread

Thad stared at her for a long moment before speaking some of his troubles. Poem listened quietly, not wanting to push him farther than he wished to go. She tilted her head curiously, understanding being alone to some degree. Poem knew well the feeling of loss. She just hoped Motif would be easily found and the feeling would go away.

”You are different though,” the girl stated innocently. ”But I think it’s a good thing. Makes you stand out, and what’s the fun in everyone being the same?” She said more brightly than she felt. ”Who cares what everyone else wants, what do you want?” She knew life was about more than what others thought about you.

Dark ears fell to her head as the older boy offered his help. ”I would really appreciate that, Thaddeus.” She told him honestly, wondering if having a set goal might help him to find his path. ”Her name is Motif, she’s my height with similar markings but she’s darker colored.” She explained, worry settling into her voice once again. ”I miss her so much. I don’t want to think about if we couldn’t find her…” She trailed off to the unthinkable.

Thaddeus wasn't a very smart man. he tried his best in various situations but he couldn't think of how to explain himself to Poem. it hurt to feel different. for wolves to look at him like he was a mutt, a half-breed or completely and utterly worthless. just because he was different, looked different, acted different. they looked down on him, made him feel like he was less than a piece of shit. he hung his head, knowing the yearling didn't mean to make him feel worse so he couldn't snap back at her. she asked what he wanted, and he could not explain that either. he had never been given a chance or choice. though she did accept his help. he didn't raise his head; only his eyes. he wasn't the only one in pain, it would seem. "we'll find her" Thaddeus tried to sound more certain. he tried to grasp for something, some meaning. even if it was unhealthy to latch himself onto someone else and their goals. "how long she been missin' fer?" was the scent trail cold, or did it lead Poem to the west and stop here? he didn't know a lot of places here, and lots more would be limited due to the volcano erupting. he knew there were packs here from their scents. some he'd seen at the Valhalla festival. Ashen, Lirim, Valhalla... "did ye... ask t' packs round here?" maybe one of them had seen Motif. "speech" thad is hurt and feeling down, so anyone welcome to help (and recruit) him rated M for heavy swearing, no formal mature thread