its keeping me awake
tox
10-23-2019, 12:36 PM
The morning was cold, however terribly frigid winter had been today was one of the coldest days thus far. Zee was curled up beside her to the right and to the left in a pile of furs that extended the Empress’s bed, her five sleeping puppies. This was an odd moment when all of them shared the den at once. Belle didn’t like to be awake during the day, and the rest of them had varying schedules. Deathbelle was sleeping soundly when something woke her up.
As she lifted her head from her paws her breath was short and she felt exhausted. Another nightmare. They refused to let up and likely were cause of her recent relapse into her emotion. She sighed softly and put her head back on her paws, ready to return to sleep when movement from the pups caught her eye. It seemed she wasn’t the only one suffering from disturbed sleep.
As she lifted her head from her paws her breath was short and she felt exhausted. Another nightmare. They refused to let up and likely were cause of her recent relapse into her emotion. She sighed softly and put her head back on her paws, ready to return to sleep when movement from the pups caught her eye. It seemed she wasn’t the only one suffering from disturbed sleep.
Deathbelle wears a rosebud tiara that is not shown in her art.
10-23-2019, 03:19 PM
Toxicity was shaken awake by the same dream. She could smell the singed fur and it choked her. Like Obi had said, it didn't matter if this dream stemmed from a memory or whether it was just another nightmare. It didn't matter now. It wasn't real now. She felt so disconnected from this world- from those around her. Her siblings were there, close by. She could feel their warmth, and yet it didn't reach her heart. Somewhere, out in the bleak coldness, Toxicity was sure her heart remained. Perhaps in the old pack land, or maybe at the base of the volcano.
Regardless, she wasn't getting anymore sleep. Rising lightly, Tox made move to leave the den and start her morning prayers.
Regardless, she wasn't getting anymore sleep. Rising lightly, Tox made move to leave the den and start her morning prayers.
10-23-2019, 06:23 PM
Lilac gaze watched as Toxicity stirred within the shared fur bed, causing a couple of bodies to shift as she removed herself. Deathbelle lifted her head and looked to Zee beside her, gently so she didn’t wake her servant Belle carefully made it to her paws as her daughter walked in front of her. Already her future height showed in her growing body. Her disproportionate paws and long legs, her lanky body. Likely all of them would take after their father.
”Toxi,” she used a pet name that hadn’t been uttered since the girl was a tiny puppy. Belle’s voice was soft, and she moved to pace after the young godlet. Belle aimed a comforting nuzzle to her daughter’s cheek. ”You’re up early.” She said as they passed through the threshold out into the cold air outside. She instantly wished she brought a fur with her.
Belle sighed softly, wondering about the coincidence of their wakefulness. ”I woke from an unpleasant dream.” She offered quietly in confession, usually unwilling to reveal such weaknesses to her offspring just yet. She knew they were not blind though, and knew their mother hurt like they did.
”Toxi,” she used a pet name that hadn’t been uttered since the girl was a tiny puppy. Belle’s voice was soft, and she moved to pace after the young godlet. Belle aimed a comforting nuzzle to her daughter’s cheek. ”You’re up early.” She said as they passed through the threshold out into the cold air outside. She instantly wished she brought a fur with her.
Belle sighed softly, wondering about the coincidence of their wakefulness. ”I woke from an unpleasant dream.” She offered quietly in confession, usually unwilling to reveal such weaknesses to her offspring just yet. She knew they were not blind though, and knew their mother hurt like they did.
Deathbelle wears a rosebud tiara that is not shown in her art.
10-29-2019, 05:10 PM
The nickname her mother used caught Toxicity off guard. Her mismatched eyes met her mother's soft form, a light shock widening them as she turned to look. Her mother nuzzled her and Toxicity accepted the affection silently. They entered the cold outdoors together, but the sharpness of the chill fell flat against Tox's distant mind. They shared a moment of silence before Deathbelle confessed to awakening from an unpleasant dream. Toxicity swallowed dryly, her eyes focusing steadily in the distance.
"What did you dream show you?" she asked, her voice feeling detached from her own body. In reality, she was eager to hear her mother's reply. She wanted to know she wasn't alone, but she didn't want to vocalize that just yet. She didn't want to be a weak child in need of comforting. She wanted to handle this like an adult- like her father would.
"What did you dream show you?" she asked, her voice feeling detached from her own body. In reality, she was eager to hear her mother's reply. She wanted to know she wasn't alone, but she didn't want to vocalize that just yet. She didn't want to be a weak child in need of comforting. She wanted to handle this like an adult- like her father would.
10-29-2019, 06:29 PM
The mother savored the quiet moment with her daughter. Between leading the pack, and training all five pups, there wasn’t a lot of time left over for one on one meetings. Her affection wasn’t turned away, and it seemed Toxicity’s attention was only half on her mother until she spoke quietly. Asking what happened in the dream. Belle sighed softly, unsure how detailed she should be with her young daughter.
”The volcano.” She started slowly and softly, steeling herself against the cold of the air around them. ”Your father,” she held back a sorrowful sob. ”His last few moments.” She knew her children were growing up faster than she wanted, Tox was mature and she could handle the words spoken to her.
”The volcano.” She started slowly and softly, steeling herself against the cold of the air around them. ”Your father,” she held back a sorrowful sob. ”His last few moments.” She knew her children were growing up faster than she wanted, Tox was mature and she could handle the words spoken to her.
Deathbelle wears a rosebud tiara that is not shown in her art.
10-31-2019, 09:58 AM
At her mother's words, a small breath escaped Toxicity. It was vague, and her mother had been there. She had seen the whole thing. It was likely they dreamed of completely different things. After some time passed, Toxicity looked back to her mother.
"Me too," she rasped. "But how can that be- for me to dream of that?"
She couldn't understand the reasoning behind her dreams. What purpose did they serve other than to make her suffer? She knew logically there was nothing she could have done. She didn't feel guilt for her father's death, so why was she tormented by these dreams?
"What is the point of trying to sleep if all I'll ever see is that?"
"Me too," she rasped. "But how can that be- for me to dream of that?"
She couldn't understand the reasoning behind her dreams. What purpose did they serve other than to make her suffer? She knew logically there was nothing she could have done. She didn't feel guilt for her father's death, so why was she tormented by these dreams?
"What is the point of trying to sleep if all I'll ever see is that?"
11-04-2019, 06:06 PM
There was a quiet moment between them before Toxicity breathed her surprise, and told her mother that she too had endured the same dream. The fire that consumed Archon completely and unexpectedly. Deathbelle’s heart was hollowed out that day, and she continued to relive the terrible moment. ”There are many things I can not explain. But I’m sorry you’ve had to endure it.” She offered her daughter softly, feeling true regret that she’d been put through the nightmares. ”Maybe your father, or the lord abraxas, are trying to tell us something.” She offered, with no real idea how to soothe Toxicities worries. ”We could see if Aunt Luce has something to take dreams away.” So they could at least sleep deeply.
Deathbelle wears a rosebud tiara that is not shown in her art.
11-11-2019, 08:46 PM
Her mother apologized for her having to endure it all. Toxicity shook her head, but offered no words yet. Deathbelle offered that maybe a higher power was trying to show her or tell her something. Toxicity let the words sit for a moment, processing. That would make sense, but what were they trying to tell her? What could it mean? What was she supposed to glean from this repeated torture?
Deathbelle suggested they go to Aunt Luce to see if she had something to take the dreams away. Toxicity shook her head more vigorously. If Lord Abraxas or her father were trying to reach her, she wanted to be receptive, no matter how painful.
Toxicity looked to her mother, tears welling slightly over her mismatched eyes. In one quick motion, Toxicity launched herself towards her mother, intending to bury her face in her mother's plush coat. She had never been a physically affectionate pup, but she needed this. "I know you have Zee and I have all my siblings, but..." She looked up, "Can I sleep with you?"
Deathbelle suggested they go to Aunt Luce to see if she had something to take the dreams away. Toxicity shook her head more vigorously. If Lord Abraxas or her father were trying to reach her, she wanted to be receptive, no matter how painful.
Toxicity looked to her mother, tears welling slightly over her mismatched eyes. In one quick motion, Toxicity launched herself towards her mother, intending to bury her face in her mother's plush coat. She had never been a physically affectionate pup, but she needed this. "I know you have Zee and I have all my siblings, but..." She looked up, "Can I sleep with you?"
11-12-2019, 07:10 PM
Tox was mostly quiet as she spoke, though her answers were far from comforting. She didn’t have any desire to seek out aid from her aunt either. Belle wasn’t sure what to do, or say. Her suggestion could have been very wrong in all of its aspects. She wanted to be nothing but right and a perfect parent for her offspring, she had a lot to make up for and big shoes to fill. Though she had many wolves eager to help in their upbringing.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Toxicity’s tears and she fell silent and allowed the pup to do what she wished. With no more prompting Tox rushed to her side and grabbed hold tightly. Belle held her daughter close, nuzzling against her dark and white marked fur. She felt tears fill her own lilac eyes as she was given a request. ”Of course, dearest.” Deathbelle whispered back softly, this was an easy request to fulfill. Especially with Zee needing to be next to Sirius now anyway. Deathbelle’s bed would again be empty, if she couldn’t rid her daughter of the nightmares maybe they would feel better when they shared them. ”Maybe it will help us find some answers.” She said wistfully, more seeking out hope that it might than real conviction.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Toxicity’s tears and she fell silent and allowed the pup to do what she wished. With no more prompting Tox rushed to her side and grabbed hold tightly. Belle held her daughter close, nuzzling against her dark and white marked fur. She felt tears fill her own lilac eyes as she was given a request. ”Of course, dearest.” Deathbelle whispered back softly, this was an easy request to fulfill. Especially with Zee needing to be next to Sirius now anyway. Deathbelle’s bed would again be empty, if she couldn’t rid her daughter of the nightmares maybe they would feel better when they shared them. ”Maybe it will help us find some answers.” She said wistfully, more seeking out hope that it might than real conviction.
Deathbelle wears a rosebud tiara that is not shown in her art.