Thalia had been sent on a mission: to scout the lands around the volcano and report back to Eligos with her findings. What he didn't know, and what she so conveniently neglected to tell him, was that she'd recently taken a trip to those very lands to do just that. Part of her had hoped she might find sign of her parents along the way, but she'd gotten more than a little distracted by running into Theory once again. They'd shared a moment - she wasn't quite sure what else to call it, let alone what she herself thought of it, but she knew her thoughts of Abaven's leader were becoming persistent, to the point of feeling compulsive. So when she had an opportunity to maybe run into her again, she accepted without hesitation. Not that she would've denied Eligos' request anyway, but now she just felt a little more eager to complete it.

The lands here had recovered even more fully than the time she'd been here last, which pleased her, but then again she was still quite a decent distance from the volcano. If these lands had once been ravaged by the eruption, they seemed to have recovered easily enough; there was no hint of ash here, perhaps kept off the ground by the long boughs of the willow trees. This place was far more serene than she expected and she felt herself growing calm as she lingered near one of the streams that played beneath the roots of a large, drooping willow. With Eligos in charge now, she had to believe things were looking up - there was no other way.

But going along with things hadn't done any of them any good. She had to improve herself and grow stronger for her family and for her God.. and she wasn't sure if self-improvement meant grappling with confusing feelings or learning to ignore them and shove them aside. Often she thought of her mother, who was soft and expressive; a stark contrast to her father who seemed unshakable, though even she had seen a glimpse of the anxious man that lay beneath his more serious exterior. She had a feeling they were more similar than she'd once thought, but it didn't matter now - he was gone and she was more alone than she'd ever been.

Pawing idly at the dirt, she considered what she was doing here. Theory lived somewhat close to here, she knew that well enough, though she wasn't totally sure if they'd relocated since the last time they'd spoken. It'd be quite a trek for her to come here.. but she had no reason to believe Theory would ignore her if she called. After hesitating for far too long, she finally tipped her head back and let loose a call for her friend, wondering if she'd reply to her song at all. She'd figure out what the hell she was even calling her for afterwards; somehow figuring that part out when she wasn't even certain Theory would care enough to answer her if she was busy seemed pointless, in her mind.

break me like a promise Thoughts of the impending raid had kept her awake and anxious for days now. She sparred endlessly with anyone who would treat her to a fight - in fact, she had the feeling that they were getting a little bit sick over it. Theory couldn't help herself. All this nervous energy piled up and built upon itself until it was a might fortress within her. She was more anxiety than she was herself; most of the time she was running on autopilot, completing routine tasks as if someone else was operating her body. Patrols went on as scheduled. Hunting continued. Training carried on. All the while she was struck with the queer feeling that she was watching herself from outside of her body. She was in the middle of patrol when she heard Thalia's call. Alouette had been cartwheeling in the air above, keeping a real lookout while Theory blundered through her task on the ground. Lou knew when Theo wasn't feeling right and the raven was quite worried for her friend. She'd seen Theory upset before (especially after Thalia had left so abruptly after their last meeting), but never like this. Theory peeked up at the sky towards Alouette as if asking for permission to shirk her duties for a few hours. Without response the raven altered her course of flight towards the source of the call, noticing that Theory's pace immediately got more brisk. There was a certain spring to her step as they tracked down Thalia between the trailing branches of the Weeping Woods. "I have so much to tell you," she sputtered when she finally got within earshot of Thalia. Once she got within spitting distance she held back, remembering how much it had hurt when she'd finally broken the spell of their last meeting. Maybe if she just didn't touch her... but she wanted to touch her, wanted to bury her face in the thick ruff of fur at Thalia's neck and just scream about Acere and the raid. Wanted to feel the warmth of her breath on her cheek again. Instead of getting any closer, Theory paced back and forth at the edge of the small "room" they found themselves inside beneath the branches of the willow tree. Everything seemed quieter here. Even the sunlight was muted, struggling to penetrate through the thick curtain of trailing branches. The young alpha suddenly felt very aware of her own body. Theory expanded her pacing to the entire perimeter of the tree, the branches trailing against her ribcage as she tread circles around Thalia. Her fur had lightened just a bit with the summer sun - it brought all the different shades of russet and brown on her top coat. Theo wondered if Thalia would notice anything different about her, hoping that she might seem how strong she'd gotten. Or something. Anything to let on that Thalia thought as much about her as Theory found herself thinking about the Abraxas. "An honorless git in the north is set to raid Abaven on behalf of some... some roving band. Apparently they bargained on behalf of a member's boyfriend and now I'm fucked," she spilled all at once, her blue eyes searching for Thalia's golden ones. Hopefully they'd be able to commiserate a little bit - she was sick of trying to act like an adult about it. She wanted to be crass and angry, just for a few hours. "Not even someone's mate. Just someone's screw, ugh." "theory speaks!"

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Despite her anxious thoughts, Thalia was feeling more positive about things within Risen - well, Aerie now, as Eligos was calling them. He was taking the pack in a significantly different direction, but his plans still fit in with her ideals in the grand scheme of them. Celebrating their God through integrating themselves so deeply into the fabric of this world so that everyone knew who they were - an ambitious plan but one she could get behind. As far as she was concerned, the more wolves who knew the name Abraxas, the better. Better yet if they were knowledgeable enough to be wary of them - not quite fear, not enough to strike against them as Eligos had said.

Her mind strayed as she waited to see if Theory came to her call. There was a newfound kind of respect between them that made her doubt she'd ignore her, unless she was busy... but then again maybe her abrupt departure last time had ruined that. It was hard to be certain. As she paced between the willow trees, she mostly thought of Theory, though thoughts of her friend made her mostly just feel anxious. It was easier to think of Aerie and her new duties and what they might entail. For now, getting information for Eligos seemed a decent start, to prove her worth. She was no longer a child and hoped he didn't see her as one, but going above and beyond would surely only help her there.

Theory, once she finally approached, didn't seem angry. Tense might be a good way to describe her, but Thalia was no doubt giving off a similar energy. Her orange gaze lifted, following the larger female as she paced, letting her own body rotate to follow her tracks - at least at first. She did notice how strong Theory had gotten; the last time they'd met, Thalia wouldn't say Theory looked like a child still, but somehow she seemed more... complete now. Her gaze briefly swept over her limbs, noting how well-muscled they seemed despite the fact that she was leaner than Thalia. But her straying eyes eventually locked onto her face as she started to speak, unsure what she expected Theory to say at all. She was grateful she began the conversation, because the truth was that Thalia had no idea what she was supposed to say to Theory first.

"A raid?" She repeated, raising an eyebrow. Her voice was curious, but also held a fair bit of worry that was unmistakable. Her family, at least in the time before she was born, was known for things like raiding - she'd heard tales of how they'd bullied packs away from their lands in an attempt to spread their name and the name of their God. She was largely ambivalent about these stories, and she certainly didn't know Abaven had been one of these packs. Either way - Theory was her friend, regardless of how strange their relationship might feel, and imagining her hurt didn't elicit any good feelings. "What's the name of the northern pack?" Perhaps Eligos ought to know someone in the north was going around raiding friendly packs... or at least Abaven struck her as a friendly pack. Theory, after all, was a kind leader - was she not? That was Thalia's assessment of her. "I'm sure you're not fucked. You're settling in again, and... I can tell you've been training," she added absently, desperately hoping she didn't sound like she was saying precisely what she was - that Theory looked good and strong and she had no doubt she could kick someone's ass.

But maybe Theory didn't want advice. It was hard to not resort to facts and to logic, despite having a feeling Abaven was prepared for a raid, if the way Theory spoke about her pack was any sign. She felt bad for her - somewhere deep down, buried beneath anxieties and duty and her own strict principles - but showing her that felt like an unconquerable mountain. "That's fucked up," Thalia offered finally, her voice earnest. Theory sounded like she wanted to vent and show how angry and slighted she felt over this, and she wanted to let her.

break me like a promise Thalia wasn't wordy, but that was just fine by her. She didn't need empty words and stilted small talk, just someone to lean on. Someone to listen. If nothing else, Thalia was an excellent listener. Maybe the best one she'd ever come across. Her hawklike orange eyes were observant without being overbearing, but maybe that was just because Theo liked being watched by her. "The name of the pack is Winterfell. I wouldn't be so upset if they weren't supposed to be our allies," she spat. "I thought there was more honor between us than this... they sent a messenger, but only after I had already discovered their plans. How shady, right?" Theo grumbled. All the while she paced in a loose circle around Thalia, slowly but surely narrowing its scope. The movement was almost imperceptible but sure enough she was drawing closer and closer to the Abraxas, as if she was a moon orbiting a planet. "Their ambassador swore they would return anything they're required to take on the band's behalf in spades, but I just don't know if I can trust them any more. I told her as much - words are just words. We'll see how their actions play out in the aftermath," she said, all in one length breath. Theo panted a bit at the end of the sentence before she sucked in another long breath to continue on her tirade. "It just feels foolish that they allowed themselves to get backed into a corner and now we're being punished for it... and I'm worried, because while I've been training..." Theory bit her lip and looked away. Would it be just as foolish to admit their weaknesses to Thalia? It wasn't like she could put the "Abraxas" cat back in its bag; it prowled between them, reminding Theory not to get too close. "I'm just worried." There was no point in telling her their warriors were woefully small in number by comparison to their general population. When it came down to it, they were in a very vulnerable position. Finally her circling collapsed until Theory was winding her way around Thalia just a foot or so away. After completing another rotation, she sat down next to the smaller female and heaved another sigh. Here she was, blathering on and complaining, and she hadn't even asked her how she was. It was just so easy to stand by and let her listen. "How are you...? I'm surprised to see you nearby again. Is everything alright?" "theory speaks!"

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"It doesn't really sound like they're your allies," Thalia offered after a moment of thought, entirely unsure if she was being helpful or not. Her own pack had never really had allies... had they? It was hard to imagine her family fully trusting anyone enough to consider them an ally though, and if they were to go behind their backs like that she had a feeling their betrayal would earn more than just aggravated complaining. Not that she was doubting Theory's reaction. She went on to explain they sent a messenger, that they'd return anything they took... all in the name of some deal they'd arranged. The politics of it all didn't really make complete sense to her but maybe if she had the full picture, she might understand better. One thing she did understand, though, was that it didn't sound fair and she knew she'd feel the same way if she was in Theory's situation. "I hope they do what they said they would," her features softened, marginally, enough to show that truly felt bad for the situation Theory was in. She didn't hope things turned out badly for her friend and thought sharing that sentiment with her might be helpful.

Theory explained she was worried, but didn't finish her train of thought. Deciding it unimportant, she merely shrugged. "Just keep training and preparing. Sounds like that's all you can do, now." Hopefully knowing the raid was coming would give them some advantage, even if winning wouldn't necessarily work out in their favor. Not that losing could ever been advantageous. It was a tricky scenario, and one she was glad she wasn't in the middle of - she wasn't sure she'd be quite as level-headed about it as the other woman was trying to be.

Her neck twisted, her body following as she moved just a hair closer to Theory, facing her properly now that her pacing had momentarily ceased. Sitting and listening, offering her minuscule take on things, was much preferred over sharing her own thoughts and feelings. How was she? Better, she supposed, but not quite great. "I've been well. Things back home have been.. changing We've actually decided to move closer - just a bit northwest of the sand bridge." That wasn't too much information to share, right? Before long Aerie's scent would be unmistakable as they settled down in their territories in the west. Perhaps they had been hiding away in Auster forever, but that was no longer an option for them. Slowly she too found herself reclining, leaning back and eyeing Theory, wondering how she'd react to the news. "So.. visiting isn't quite as difficult for me now." Not that it was a quick stroll, not by any means.. she was very much going out of her way to run into Theory and she hoped the other woman wouldn't press her on that fact.

"Me too," she groaned. Would Winterfell keep their word? Theo had thought once that Acere was an honorable man, but she couldn't get the sour taste out of her mouth. He should have represented himself and his poor decisions in person, not send a third party ambassador. The mistake that he had made required a personal touch. His hands-off attitude didn't sit well with her. Although she could have spent more time rationalizing the how and why of it all, she couldn't shake the initial burn of it all. Who would barter their entire pack on behalf of a lone, semi-stranger? It seemed against the entire moral policy of Winterfell. A pack of noble, fiercely independent warriors? They'd become cowardly sell-swords.

Training and preparing. Training and preparing. It was all she seemed to do, and she never felt prepared. Life was funny like that. Theory cocked an eyebrow as Thalia mentioned the pack was moving. "Closer might be nice," she said carefully. An Abraxas pack was on the mainland now. That would certainly shake things up. "How else have things been changing?" Who was in control now? What could she expect? As much as Theory wanted to push these thoughts out of her head, she couldn't ignore her position as a leader. Maybe Thalia could tell her a little bit more about what she might be up against. Not that was up against anything, really. They weren't a threat. Yet. She slowly lowered herself to the ground, placing her head on her paws and looking up at Thalia with wide blue eyes. This was just a polite conversation between friends.

Now that she'd begun to voice her responses to Theory's problematic situation, it was hard to push down that slowly rising feeling of worry. Given what she'd described, the raid sounded fairly innocuous - at least in the sense of physical danger that might be present - but it was hard to be sure, especially when it came to things like... that. Inter-pack politics were complicated and it was hard to take a messenger's word at face value, given what Theory had told her. But she wouldn't let those thoughts linger for long, especially since Theory didn't seem to want to linger on those thoughts for much longer either, instead shifting the focus to herself. Though somewhat uncomfortable in general with talking about herself, it seemed a touch easier when it came to Theory... though she wasn't quite sure just how much was safe to divulge.

'Closer might be nice,' she responded, cautiously enough to warrant a slight raise of her brows. Might be nice? That wasn't exactly the reaction she'd been hoping for. Despite the fact that her entire reason for visiting these lands had been framed as a discovery mission, the real reason she'd headed toward these parts was to run into Theory again.. and now she was saying that her being closer might be nice? A slight hint of agitation tugged at the back of her mind but she forced it from appearing on her features, as best as she could, though some of the sharpness was still audible in her voice. "Our leadership has changed too. Just to the former leader's brother, Eligos." All information that couldn't be used against them. If someone came to their borders looking for the ruler, Eligos would appear, no doubt eager to give his name and title - so surely she could do the same.

"We just spent a lot of time... doing nothing, I guess, after the eruption." Some had been entirely absent; others had been present, merely moping around doing nothing. Even more, like herself, hadn't been quite sure what to do without any real direction, but the time for inaction was behind them now. "We're just working on getting... motivated again." How else could she say it? Thalia wasn't sure. Watching Theory slide down onto the ground, she tentatively joined her... at least halfway, lowering herself to her haunches a step closer toward Theory.

Blue eyes watched Thalia half lower herself. She wanted to think that things would be easier now between them, but there were still invisible strings that seemed to tug them in strange ways. Theory let out a puff of air and lowered her head to her paws, looking up at Thalia from beneath her lashes. Even though she was the one standing tall, Theo still felt the height difference between them. The alpha's dark head was practically at the zenith of Thalia's haunches. If she wanted to, it would be easy to overpower the Abraxas and tug her to the ground. Her stomach tingled at the thought and she almost felt sick. "How do you feel about the change in command?" she asked. Theo didn't want to pry, but she did want a conversation... which sometimes felt like prying, at least with Thalia.

"Everyone had something that stopped them in their tracks after the eruption." Death had halted many. The loss reverberated around Boreas. In many places, the land itself still seemed to weep. Renewal was coming more slowly than she'd hoped and now winter felt like it was just around the corner. New growth would be covered in snow and nature's cycle would repeat itself once again. Next spring would finally break ground into the "new," at least she hoped. Since there was a "before" the eruption, one day there would have to be an "after." They couldn't just be stuck in this eternal hellish middle ground. She yearned for a future where she didn't look at the horizon with a heavy heart. "Motivation is a funny thing," she mused, slowly rolling on to her back and then - oops, haha! - a little too far towards Thalia. Theo came to rest with her torso leaning comfortably on Thalia's haunches. She peered up at her with a cheeky grin. "What motivates you?"

How did she feel about the change in command? It was hard to really say, and when it came to Theory it felt somehow even harder to open up. Maybe because part of her wanted to so badly that it scared her. For a moment she was silent and still, holding her breath until she found herself exhaling sharply. "Good. I mean - it's a good thing. Eligos wants to rule, and he has good ideas." Pyrrhic hadn't really wanted to rule, but nobody else had taken his throne, so he'd done what he had to in the face of the unknown. Had it been hard for him, she wondered? Ruling after his father's death? The thought made her feel vaguely uncomfortable, though she did her best to push it from her mind.

While part of her knew Theory understood just what she meant, it was hard to really elaborate on it. Her own suffering and trials felt somehow private, not like something she needed to share with anyone... even Theory, though part of her longed to open up to her. At least now she was starting to feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel - there was a change for things to get better, for the Abraxas to grow stronger and prove their devotion to their God once again. Not once and for all, though, since she knew loyalty to their God wasn't a one-time offer; they needed to work toward salvation for the rest of their days, no matter the cost. Finally she let out another sigh, sinking a bit deeper as Theory rolled toward her, and finally reclining to her stomach so that the two of them were nearly on equal ground. Still Theory was taller than her, but at least she wasn't quite towering over her now.

"What motivates me?" Thalia repeated her question, feeling her mouth grow dry. It was a simple question, but it had more weight than Theory's light tone really implied. Or maybe their closeness was what made her tongue suddenly feel heavy. "My family, mostly, I suppose. Building an Empire for future generations to come." And being devoted to her God, but she wasn't quite sure how to say that in a way that didn't sound... strange. "And my God," she finally said, finding it important to mention even if Theory gave no weight to it at all. "What about you?" She tried to loosen her tone, to sound conversational, even if the light tone seemed strange coming from her own throat, as she twisted around to get a better look at her.

Wanting to rule, as simple as it sounded, was an important part of taking charge. She could see Shaye's resolve waver towards the end when her mentor had simply wanted to give in. The proud old woman had lost the desire to rule. It asked so much of you and occupied so much of your brain. Theory couldn't separate herself from the pack any longer. They had become a symbiotic creature that had meshed together so closely that they were no longer able to separate themselves. Abaven had become part of her brain, part of her heart, part of her lungs... she lived it. She loved it. She breathed it. Theo smiled encouragingly as Thalia continued to speak. It felt good to have the younger wolf open up to her, bit by bit.

"Future generations..." Theo mused, staring up at the sky from where she laid next to Thalia. The sun had begun to set and a chill nipped at the air. Clouds moved across the sky, headed out towards the coast. They couldn't stop the passage of time or the change of the seasons. Acts of god (or God) like the eruption may seem to disrupt the flow of it, but that wasn't the case at all. Time marched on, unwavering. "Do you want children, then?" she asked boldly. Theory hadn't given much thought to that at all, but Thalia's comment about future generations had her thinking. Wasn't the point of many religions to proselytize? Children made the best converts of all, she thought. You could mold them. It was a little unsettling. "I am motivated to protect my family and pack... and provide shelter to those who need it," she said softly. Abaven had become a beacon for the lost and weary. She liked that reputation - they were the safe harbor in a torrential rainstorm. Boreas needed that.

Thalia didn't know exactly the direction Eligos would take the pack in, and admittedly part of the not-knowing made her nervous just the same. But any direction was better than none at all, and so far Eligos had proved to be a loyal follower of their God, had he not? She supposed only time would tell what would happen, and dwelling on it too long wouldn't change things - only action would. She had to devote herself to Eligos's cause, to throw herself headfirst into self-improvement and bettering her pack, and the rest would surely follow. She had no doubt Theory echoed those sentiments, if in her own way. That was one of the reasons she found herself drawn to Theory; despite all their differences they had some things remarkably in common, their devotion to their families and packs being the most striking one to her.

Theory's next question surprised her, though the previous one had been just as serious. This one just seemed somehow more daunting to answer. It was something she'd never properly sat and thought about before, though Theory was somehow forcing her to. Ignoring the question didn't feel like an option. "Yes," Thalia answered finally, the word quiet and succinct. Not having children didn't really feel like an option to her, even if the thought made her uncomfortable. How else would they carry on the Abraxas legacy when converting mortals was infinitely more difficult than simply birthing them? "I don't feel as though I really have a choice." Suddenly her mouth felt even more dry, though instinctively she leaned even further into Theory's touch. Somehow the worry of her pulling away from her in this moment seemed a worry even more daunting than rearing children or her Empire's future. Those thoughts were selfish ones, but it was hard to push them aside.

"What about you? Do you want children?" What motivated Theory was quite different than her own motivations; the Abraxas were never selfless wolves in the slightest. They would never provide shelter to those who needed it, only those who earned it or otherwise paid for it - she wondered if Theory would think differently of her for those beliefs but she had a feeling the Abaven leader already knew as much about her, even if she simply chose to ignore it.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. Her father had sown his wild oats across Boreas. While she was certain that all of her siblings were accounted for, there were a few lingering phantoms. Theo couldn't shake the feeling that something more was lurking. It would make sense. Her life had been dramatic enough so far. It would make perfect sense for the rug to be ripped out from underneath her paws once again. Although Rhyme swore he had accounted for his misdeeds, he sure did seem to love women. "If I had a family, I'd want a small one. For now it's impossible to even think about. The pack takes up all of my time. I have no co-alpha. It is my responsibility alone." Theory returned Thalia's touch, pressing back into warm fur. "Speaking of responsibilities... I should be going," the young alpha confessed, a hint of regret sneaking into her voice.

Children... The word played on her mind until it became meaningless. How awful, not to have a choice in the matter of bringing new life into this world. Shouldn't it be a matter of great deliberation and concern? To be forced into such an undertaking, something that Theory might even consider sacred, seemed frightening. Was this the burden of her religion? "I'll find you again soon. There are some hot springs nearby, close your eyes, you can just barely smell it - " Theo inhaled deeply. The faintest hint of sulfur floated on the wind. "I find it extremely relaxing. I hope you will too." With one last heavy-lidded gaze, she finally broke eye contact with Thalia and began loping back towards Abaven. Her mind was cluttered. How could she willingly give herself up to a religion that would force her into something as serious as procreating. But Thalia didn't see it that way at all. Where Theory saw shackles, Thalia saw a delicate necklace. Something to be worn with pride, not shame. The closer she got to Thalia the more complicated everything seemed.