After the birth of Sirius and Zee's children, Iolaire had become somewhat sullen and withdrawn. It wasn't anything to do with the pups themselves. They were utter perfection and the amount of love that welled up within her when she saw them... It was something that was incomparable.  It was also something that she'd never be able to experience herself. The look of joy and satisfaction on Zee's face... it had almost been too much to bear. Now that Roan was a permanent fixture in her life... giving him children was something that she deeply desired. But, it was also something that was entirely unattainable.

This wasn't something that Roan could fully understand and she didn't have a chatty type of relationship with Zee, herself. They were just too different. So, Iolaire decided to seek out Deathbelle. The two had obviously been very close and, despite their split, she still felt as thought the two of them could rely on one another. She would feel comfortable being girly and emotional with the empress. Hopefully Belle had time to talk to her. They were both terribly busy women.

Moving across the bridge that would take her to the first of the islands, Iolaire raised her slender muzzle and released a sweet call, beckoning the speckled woman forth. While she waited to be intercepted, the small healer moved further into the lands. Perhaps they would meet one another in the middle.

Deathbelle felt herself struggling with the intricacies of life. Pestilence and her disobedience and likely soon departure was weighing heavily on her heart. Knowing her babies were growing up, were becoming their own wolves and leaving the nest left her feeling heavy. She was so proud of them but that didn’t mean her empty den was any easier to deal with. Hannibal lingered at her side whenever she asked, and not all of her children were eager to leave the Empire.

The afternoon continued, and it found Deathbelle sleeping under the shade of the tropical trees of the first Island Nephilim. The growing of the Empire warmed her heart, they had welcomed so many new faces into the world. The thought of her own growing up weighted on her heavily.

She dreamed of tiny white babies when Iolaire’s call woke her up. Her heart swelled, she hadn’t spent near enough time with the tiny woman and she wanted so much to know what she was doing. Eagerly Deathbelle lifted herself and made her way to the dainty healer’s side. She wasn’t very far away. As soon as she saw her Belle felt her lips pull back into a grin, even if they weren’t together Deathbelle could still feel her love for her. ”Io,” she greeted warmly, and getting ahead of herself aimed to give a gentle nuzzle to her silver cheek.

As Io wandered aimlessly towards wherever Deathbelle might be, the woman herself showed up right in her path. With a grin, she moved towards the taller woman. Affections were given and returned. Though they weren't lovers, they still loved one another. That wouldn't change. As Belle nuzzled into her, Io wrapped one slender foreleg to pull the woman closer in a quick embrace. With the changing of the territories, both had little time and it had been a long while since they'd seen one another.

Pulling back, she smiled up at the woman. "It's good to see you, Belle." She flipped open the flap of her pack and flashed a set of gourds within. "I thought, if you have the time, we might have a bit of a girls day. Sun, some drinks. Lots of talking." Iolaire was incredibly hopeful. She really needed to talk and Deathbelle was the only one that she felt comfortable baring her soul to.

"I'd love to hear about what's been happening in your life." And I'd really love to tell you about mine, she left unsaid. Her gaze was hopeful, but she hoped that she didn't look desperate.

Iolaire’s returned touch and gentle embrace brought a grin to the dark lips of the Empress. As promised, Deathbelle still loved her and would come whenever she called. Their embrace really wasn’t long enough, but she also knew how easy it might be to fall into old patterns. She didn’t want to be sad about their separation. ”I’ve missed you, I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.” She offered as her brows raised and Iolaire showed her liquid filled gourds. She explained her intentions for the day and Deathbelle wasn’t about to deny them. She needed some time to collect her thoughts.

”I wouldn’t want anything else.” Belle promised, having her own life and the problems that came along with it to confess to. Iolaire would always feel like her soul mate, and bearing the deepest emotions in her heart was easy with the silver marked she wolf. ”Let's find a nice bit of sand, shall we?” Deathbelle knew exactly where to go, Nephilim Island had one of the most beautiful beaches on the archipelago.

The sand was white and the water was clear as glass. They faced the mainland and didn’t get as much in the way of waves so the ocean lapped gently at the sloping sand. Removed from the greenery behind were small copes of palm trees to provide shade when the sun grew too intense. They could linger here and enjoy a nice sunset. She gestured softly at her intended destination and as they got comfortable spoke. ”Almost everyone seems to be settling into the new lands so far.” She offered softly, knowing the transition to speaking about her daughter wouldn’t be far behind.

It seemed as though Deathbelle was more than on board with the idea. She confessed that it had been too long and Iolaire nodded in response. It had indeed been too long. At first, she was avoiding the woman just because her own feelings were so raw, but after that, once the move took place, she honestly hadn't had a moment to herself for a long time. It was difficult to breathe sometimes with how busy she'd been.

Belle chose a stretch of warm sand and Iolaire gladly slid into it to lay upon her stomach, hind legs stretched out behind her like some pretty little frog. Taking out one of the gourds, she slid it towards her friend. "Iolaire's special honey hibiscus mead, just for you." She tapped her own gourd against it and winked before pulling the cork and taking a long pull.

The speckled fae mentioned everyone settling in well. "Aye, everyone seems to be settling just fine. The Armada is growing. New recruits, though some of them seem rather useless." She shook her head. "How are things going on your end? What's new?" She was genuinely curious as to what had been going on in Deathbelle's world. It had been too long, as they'd agreed.

Iolaire easily followed her to her chosen place on the white sand. The Empress deserved some time to relax and reflect with someone she could open up to so completely. The dainty healer pulled out her gourds and mentioned that she’d made it especially for her and Belle felt herself show a wide grin. The hibiscus was one of her favorite flowers, as made evident by the bright purple one on her hip. She gently took up her own offered beverage and imitated Io’s motions, tipping back the sweet warming liquid gracefully.

”I'm glad to hear, but doesn’t every party have a pooper?” She offered in commiseration about their dead weights. Her own problems weighed on her mind and her lilac stare found her delicate paws before answering. ”Ashen proper is doing well, there hasn’t been hardly any backlash to the move that I have heard.” Minus Pesto’s outburst, but she was a whole topic unto herself. ”My daughter Pestilence made an attempt to run away to the pack called Legion.” She offered, trying to hide her own shame for admitting to her offspring’s misbehavior. Deathbelle doubted her ability as a mother when Asvor brought the girl home.

She sighed heavily and took another long swig from her draught. ”I know they’re growing up and they need to go out into the world if they’re going to conquer it. It just hurts knowing they’ll be leaving the nest so soon.” All of her children had moved away from the home den and the mother was feeling her empty nest now more than ever.

The pair settled down in the sand and sipped at their drinks. Belle commented on every party having a pooper and Iolaire laughed aloud. "Yes, but there are so many over there. The Armada is supposed to be warriors, not little healers and foundlings." She smirked. "Myself not included, of course."

She then listened as Deathbelle spoke of Ashen having settled well. She then spoke of Pestilence and having some issues with her. "She's visited me a few times. She's a smart girl... she's just very jaded. I'm sure as she gets older, she'll find some balance." Pesto just had to get rid of her self-doubt and learn that, in order to grow, one had to work hard at it.

It seemed that her former lover was saddened by the prospect of her children leaving. Iolaire had no children and so she couldn't really understand, but she did understand the want to have a full den. "Perhaps some of them will stay close to home. Not all pups have wanderlust within them." Perhaps Hannibal would do his job and give Belle another litter. What was the hold up?

Taking another sip of her mead, Iolaire rolled the gourd between her paws in the sand, creating a natural drink holder. The gourd sat upright and she was pleased. "How are things with Hannibal? Any chance that your den might be full again soon?" Iolaire doubted that she'd be able to look at those puppies either. She'd been keeping her distance from Zee and her children. It hurt too much to see something that she wanted but could never have.

Deathbelle’s words brought a laugh from the dainty Armada woman as she explained how many healers and foundlings made their way into the pack. Not that Belle would have dreamed to lump her in with the lot of them she did return the amused smirk. ”Separating wheat from chaff isn’t always easy.” She was learning that from experience. Iolaire had a few comforting words to spare her about her daughter, though she didn't expect any secrets to be spilled it was helpful insight into her daughter’s life. Pestilence was smart, she would find her path.

”Venom, Plague, those two wont go far.” She said with certainty. ”Calamity has been quieter, but I think she will want to stay too.” Still, letting go of even one was hard. For the good of the Empire, she had to remind herself. Deathbelle had long felt the warmth of the alcohol in her belly its effects began to alter her perceptions. Lightly, but she didn’t have time to drink even if she wanted to pick up the habit. A little went a long way for her.

The Empress sighed softly as Iolaire took another sip of her mead, though she was slightly surprised at the transition from Hannibal to her next litter. She felt her heart skip more than a few beats. The two of them had taken the next step in their relationship faster than she intended. Her cheeks grew flush as she thought about their closeness.

”He is a very difficult man to resist.” She spoke with a smile that nearly glowed. ”Hopefully sooner rather than later.” Her tail curled around her hips as her belly filled with butterflies as she spoke of the future. Belle was too caught up in the present and the Empire’s needs to look forward. The thought excited her.

”But, Io…” Her lilac gaze returned to the dainty woman. ”How are you?” Had she known for even a moment what Iolaire had been contemplating she would have razed the whole Empire to heal her once love’s heart. She only hoped she’d found herself the happiness she deserved.

Io hoped for Deathbelle's sake that the rest of her children would stay close. She knew that Pestilence would travel. The girl had thirsty feet, as her mother called them. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Pesto would see the world. She'd learn. She'd come back with a broader outlook on life. Io had faith that things would work out for the girl.

The topic turned to Hannibal and Deathbelle's demeanor changed. She got a little girly and it brought an instant smirk to Iolaire's maw. The warmth of the mead was filling her body and her inhibitions were drifting away. Behind her, that silver tail swished in amusement. For Belle's sake, she hoped that Hannibal gave her children soon. She was supposed to be a mother. All of the children that she'd met so far had been decent creatures.

Belle asked how Io had been and the smaller woman sighed. Now came the real reason that she was here. Absently, Iolaire dug her toes into the sand, the white digits disappearing between the golden grains. "I've been okay." Her gaze lowered to look at those submerged toes so that she wouldn't have to look at her former lover. "I was dealing with some things, but I'm better." She wouldn't even bring up her former depression. Wasn't worth it.

"I met someone. We've been living together." She cast a sidelong glance at the speckled fae. "The man that I saved from the bear? Roan? He's..." She gave a little wiggle, searching for the words. "He's everything that I need. We haven't known one another long, but I honestly love him." Lifting her gourd, she took a long, long draw. "But by loving him, it's brought up some very...painful realizations." It was a heavy topic for the little lady and she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to get into it, but if Belle asked... she'd break like a dam.

Thoughts of Hannibal warmed her as much as the alcohol did, as time went on and she spoke to Iolaire about him she realized that she had been holding herself back from him. She was nervous, she’d already experienced much loss in her life. His previous actions led her to doubt him, but as he regularly found her side and supported her she realized that she wanted to love him. Deathbelle wanted to give herself to him completely and share in each other’s lives. He cared for her deeply and she knew she felt the same for him. She just had to let go and submerge herself.

Thoughts of him lingered, but she focused on her once lover. Deathbelle didn’t miss the way her gaze avoided her own and she tried not to focus on the first part. She was okay, but everything wasn’t rainbows and sunshine after they left their relationship. Deathbelle did feel a bit of excitement as Io mentioned that she found someone and that they were living together now. She let her own lilac gaze fall on her green and gold eyes as Io glanced over.

Belle felt good to know that she had found someone after she was unable, she knew that she would forever love Iolaire. However much they were unable to be together, she was glad for the man’s ability to fill the place where she had been. The two of them had moved on from each other, but they had both found someone and it was mostly a relief to the Empress. She worried about Io more often than she should.

”I’m so glad you’ve found him, Io.” Her voice was sincere, there was real happiness for her dear friend. ”Do you… do you want to talk about it?” She asked quietly, inviting Iolaire to open up to her. She knew Deathbelle would never judge her, and she just wanted to be there for the dainty healer.

Belle asked, so she told. "I'll never be able to bear him children. Seeing the happiness in Luce and Bourbon...the utter joy and pride in Sirius and Zee..." The small wolf shook her head, brows furrowing. She looked towards Deathbelle, tears in her eyes. "I want that so much." Her stomach did that familiar, sickening clench as she felt the pain of her inability.

Sniffling, Iolaire raised one foreleg to wipe away a trail of tears that had snaked its way down one cheek. "He says that he doesn't care if we can't have children, but I know, if we were able, he would want them. He's said as much." Again she shook her head. "It's just eating me up inside, Belle. I should be happy. Everyone around me is happy. All of the babies are healthy and gorgeous..."

"I'm sorry," She sniffled a bit. "Sorry to lay this all on you. I don't have anyone else that I trust enough to share this with." There was Roan, sure, but as a man, there was only so much that he'd be able to understand. After being stuck in the rain with Zee, she was feeling quite sour towards the woman. They didn't connect on an emotional level anyway, so that left her out. Her mother... she wouldn't understand. Aunt Meadow had been MIA, but even if she hadn't, the woman was too optimistic for such a topic. Belle had been her first choice. Though they were no longer together, she loved and trusted the woman.

Deathbelle listened quietly, her lilac gaze lingering on her dear friend as she confessed her emotions. Iolaire was barren, she couldn’t give a family to the man who claimed her heart. She wanted a family, especially after helping Lucretia, helping Zee to bring their children into the world and Deathbelle couldn’t blame her. Even she had puppy fever. She wasn’t in the same place as Io though, once she came into heat once more she could produce another littler. Iolaire didn’t have that.

The Empress couldn’t help herself, and if Io allowed she would scootch in closer and embrace her dear friend as the tears welled up in her eyes and she admitted the deep emptiness within her. Deathbelle couldn’t offer anything but her emotional support, but she knew how she felt. Right before the two of them met she had felt similarly lost. She’d just lost her husband and she’d been rejected by the man that she had once loved more deeply than any other wolf.

”Io, please don’t be sorry.” She whispered as she aimed to pull the dainty woman closer to her and against her chest. ”I know how you feel, in a way. Before you found me I was so lost, I knew I should have been happy but it just wasn’t possible. You don’t have to be sorry for your emotions, they’re valid, they’re real.” She tried to nuzzle her once lover affectionately to try and will her to feel the love that she had for her. That she was there for her no matter what. ”I’ll do anything to help you. Just say the word.” She told her softly, anything Iolaire needed Belle would do everything in her power to supply.

Deathbelle came in close, wrapping her arms around Iolaire and the smaller woman fell into that embrace willingly. Tears welled over and ran down her cheeks. There was this giant, gaping hole within her heart that no amount of sutures could wrench shut. Her friend...her best friend... held her close and assured her that her feelings were valid and that they mattered. Io needed that. She felt like a complete whiner, but it was good to know that her emotions were safe with her once lover.

Belle offered to help her in any way that she could and Iolaire pulled back to look at the woman's beautiful face with watery eyes. "I have an idea... but I'm uncertain." Using one leg to wipe the tears from her face, she continued. "I have helped others with fertility issues, but never another that's barren." A hopeful sigh pulled free. "Just because I haven't, doesn't mean that other healers haven't. What if I traveled? Picked the brains of the best healers in the land." The woman shook her head. "What if I could combat this and overcome it? What if I really could give Roan the child that he and I deserve?"

Deathbelle would have laid there and held her dear friend for eternity if she would have been allowed. The tug at her heartstrings and the tears in her own eyes told her she still loved the dainty healer. Iolaire sank into her embrace and cried softly while Deathbelled gently rubbed her once lover shoulder’s in quiet support.

Io did eventually pull back, her golden jade eyes finding Deathbelle’s amethyst gems. Io also had a confession, mismatched ears perked as she listened to Iolaire’s idea as her own paw gently took the tears from her other cheek. She tried to smile softly, and tried to grasp hold of the hope that Io offered. She didn’t want to build her up too high in case she was forced to fall back down, but maybe there really was a way.

”You don’t have anything to lose.” She prompted, certain that her place in the Armada was secure. No matter how long she took searched she would always have a place beside Deathbelle. ”Maybe the possibility is out there, not that I think your journey will be easy whichever path you choose.” She wanted to support her friend, but she didn’t wish to give her false hope either. ”I think it would be worth it though.”

The woman continued to hold her and, for a moment, it was like nothing had changed between them. Iolaire still loved Deathbelle dearly. It was simply a different kind of love now. "Thank you, Belle." The kind words had truly helped the woman. This idea that she'd had in her head was something that she didn't feel many would understand. Deathbelle did understand and agreed that it was a task worth doing.

Pulling back, but with their bodies still touching, Iolaire wiped her eyes. "I hope Sirius will understand. You know how he gets." The small fae gave her head a shake and shot her friend a look of exasperation. "He'll be worried that I'll somehow tarnish the Armada's reputation, no doubt." That had been his worry the last time she'd talked about traveling. "I promised him that I'd never leave his side... but this is so important to me. I hope he can see that." She was worried. Genuinely worried. Even she didn't know what went through the man's head most of the time.

Iolaire thanked the Empress as she held her tightly, enjoying the closeness and falling right back into the easy relationship they had. Maybe the type of love they had for one another was changed but it was still there, Deathbelle loved Iolaire. She smiled at her friend as she pulled away to dry her eyes. She couldn’t help but mentioned Sirius and his stubborn ways. ”He’ll understand, even if i have to knock it into him myself.” She’d never won a fight against him, but she knew that she could get him to listen to her.

”If he gives you trouble I’m going to intervene.” She wasn’t going to leave any wiggle room for Io to deny her help. However, Belle also had full faith that Sirius would bless his little sister in her quest for a family. He’d grown softer since his time beside the once Princess. ”You’re going to do the whole Empire proud. Think of all the knowledge you’ll bring back to us.” She smirked with a wink and nuzzled her cheek affectionately. She hoped one day she’d meet the child of Iolaire.

Deathbelle really was perfect. She was so very kind and understood exactly what Iolaire was feeling. Being a mother, she imagined that the woman could put herself in Io's pawprints. What would it be like if she couldn't have had children? Most likely she would have tried everything to make herself able to reproduce. Just like Iolaire was going to do.

Belle said that she would make Sirius listen and Io laughed. "If anyone can, you can." She had no doubt that the warlord would listen to his empress. The little healer really wanted to believe that Sirius would see reason and understand why she had to take on this task. He had a family now. She didn't. Could he feel the pain that she was going through? Now that he had them, could he imagine life without his children?

Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead against Deathbelle's forehead. "Thanks for listening to me. No one else can really understand." Other than the woman before her, she didn't have any female friends. Or male friends, for that matter, not that they would have understood her plight. Pulling back, she smiled at the speckled woman. "I really have missed you, Belle."

Deathbelle did understand the dainty healer, and felt both honored and glad that the woman could still come to her. The two of them would be life-long friends, and Iolaire would forever be welcomed into her arms. She was just as convinced that the Empress would be able to coax Sirius into agreement, but Belle wasn’t sure it would go that far. The once bodyguard wouldn’t deny her though, she was sure of it.

Belle pressed her head against Io’s as she connected the two of them. Lilac eyes closed as she appreciated the closeness and smiled at the thanks. ”You can come to me anytime.” She promised, Iolaire was her dearest friend and it felt good to hold her again. She opened her eyes to meet the green gold stare of Iolaire. ”I miss you too.” Belle admitted, reaching forward again to nuzzle her once love’s cheek. She smiled softly despite the heavy topics they spoke of. ”That man of yours better be worth the time he’s stealing from me.” She winked amusedly, in reality Deathbelle wanted nothing more than Iolaire to be happy. Hopefully Roan was able to foster that in her dear friend.

The pair both reveled in their closeness. Belle held Io and Io held her right back. With their foreheads pressed together, Iolaire remembered their time together as lovers. She missed it, but she was glad that they had passed it and had forged this strong relationship that they now shared. As they had always been, the women were perfect together, lovers or not.

Belle's words about Roan brought soft laughter from the smaller woman. "He's everything that I never knew that I always wanted. I've never been loved so well by a man." She grinned, her tears forgotten. "Not only does he treat me well, but he's thoughtful, caring. He dotes on me just as I dote on him. It makes me happy to make him happy. He's supportive of everything that I do, even if he doesn't always agree with my methods." With a shrug and a sigh, green gold eyes met lavender. "I truly love him."