He'd been growing accustomed to the new pack lands, taking the packs change in stride. He didn't feel so hard about it the way his brother seemed to. Then again, Zagan didn't really take anything hard save for his mother's passing, though he was sure that was because he spent the most time with her during her sickness and into her final days. He was sure that if he hadn't cared to be there, he wouldn't have cared much one way or another if she died. But she was gone now, and while his heart still felt heavy, there was nothing he nor anyone could do to bring her back from the dead. He just had to keep marching on, and that's precisely what he did as he patrolled along the borders of the lake to occupy his mind and keep it from wandering back to her. She had tried to teach them what she could, but in the end, it wasn't enough. Her sickness had kept a strong grasp on her and all she could really do was sleep to dull the pain and mask it with herbs. On her good days, he had helped her gather more herbs to help ease her pain, listened to her stories, and helped her with whatever he could. He didn't really get the chance to just be a kid, but he didn't mind it. He was a year old now, almost an adult. The pup days didn't really matter after that.

Blue gaze turned towards the middle of the lake, spotting the small island that sat in the center. He wondered if anything interesting lied over there, and half debated taking a quick swim to get to it. Testing the chilly water with a paw, he shuddered slightly. Winter would be upon them soon...he likely wouldn't even try to get over there once the season rolled over. Maybe he could make a den there if someone hadn't already...being a hermit didn't sound so bad the more he thought about it...

Iroh mostly tried to forget his mother, if there was one facet of his life that he felt regret for was not being there for Kasdeya in her final days. He hadn’t much talked to his brother, his shame keeping him from Zagan’s side. He had been the one to watch over their mother in her last days, and though Iroh had been there too it had been more difficult for the yearling to see his mother like that. He missed her terribly, her sweet voice and guidance that she offered to them so readily.

The boy sniffled slightly to himself as he walked forward, trying to disperse the thoughts of his mom. He could regret as much as he wanted, but it wouldn’t bring her back. He could only hope that in the end she had found her place with Abraxas. The sombre thoughts plagued him as Zagan came into view at the lake, dark ears perked forward as he debated about approaching. Too long had passed since he could consider himself close to his brother. More shame fell on him, he hadn’t been there for Zagan after Kasdeya passed, and for a moment Iroh debated about turning away.

In the end he walked forward, quiet as he timidly sat beside his brother. ”Hey,” he offered softly, blue and lavender eyes focused on the island instead of his sibling.

He stood there at the edge of the water and debated back and forth on whether he wanted to make the swim. It wasn't far, but he wasn't keen on jumping in just to see what was over there...and if he was able to make his den there, did he really want to swim back and forth anytime he wanted to go to bed or when he woke up? The idea was starting to sound less appealing the more he thought about it...Lost in thought, he barely heard a voice beside him, and when he looked, he realized his brother had come to join him. Zagan stared at him for a few moments before turning his attention back to the island. "Hey." He responded in turn. He couldn't deny that he felt awkward now. There had been too much distance between them. Even more so since their mother had passed away. He'd been absorbed in his own grief over it that he either kept to himself or got into fights over nothing with outsiders. He sighed before speaking again. "We're a mess, aren't we?" He wasn't sure what he meant by that. Though he was thinking more of the distance that had been stuck between them. He wanted to be closer to his brother, but he wasn't sure where to start with that...

Iroh was able to get his brother’s attention with minimal hesitation. Zagan returned his greeting in kind, and the blue and lavender eyed brother understood exactly how he felt. Everything was awkward and weird now, they had drifted so far apart now that they were nearing full adulthood. Iroh didn’t know how to start to fix things. Iroh returned his brother’s words with a dark chuckle. ”Yeah. We’re a mess.” He shook his head and looked out towards the island as well. Where did they go from here? ”Sorry I.. Sorry I wasn’t there.” When they should have been relying on each other Iroh had run to Banshee, and even now he wished he had her at his side to help him through these moments.