She was a bit nervous as she moved toward the middle of the plains. She'd put it off longer than she meant to as it was, but she still delayed it even more with doing an extra patrol today even though there was no reason to. She had blamed the delay on Osmond and Rhona's appearance and the fallout that had come from that and making sure that her sister-in-law of sorts was okay, but she had to make herself go talk to Sirius sooner rather than later. Perhaps he had already seen this coming - it was clearly no secret that her and Resin were together. Maybe he had assumed that Tamsyn would want to go with her lover when she left to create her own pack... but she still felt like she needed to talk to him first. She didn't want anything to disrupt her lover's plans and creating a rift with Sirius over anything certainly wasn't what she wanted to do. Plus, she loved Sirius in her own way as well. She had to talk to him about her desire to leave... as much as it pained her. Tamsyn found Sirius' scent and followed it till she finally spotted the Warlord's dark form. She smiled a little as she walked up to him, but she always wore her emotions on her sleeve and it was impossible for her to keep her ears from falling back against her skull with nerves. "Sirius... I need to talk to you about something." "Talk"

He was still a little shell shocked from the changes coming his way. Who knew the possessive Warlord would let people leave without a fight? It was hard enough letting Resin leave, he had learned to rely on the steady old wolf. But Tamsyn? Tam had become another touchstone in the Warlords life. He relied on her to steady his emotions, and help him decide what was right. He needed someone like her in charge, who would always look out for the wellbeing of his wolves. The pack would suffer without her, and he wasn’t sure he was prepared to let her leave.

“Good, I need to speak to you also, Tamsyn.” He said softly, setting across from her. Ears pulling back with unhappiness. “Resin spoke to me. You wish…. To leave?” me.

As soon as he mentioned the fact that Resin had spoken to him, she knew that he was already well aware of why she was here. His expression kept her ears folded back as well and her mint eyes slipped to the ground. She knew that this was going to be hard, but she hadn't really expected just how hard. She had grown so incredibly close to the Warlord and she knew all too well that she had him to thank for a lot of the growth that she had gone through in her time here, but... she thought of Resin and she knew that this was what she had to do. If she wanted to be with her love then she didn't have a choice. She gave a small nod of her head to answer his question as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. She still couldn't quite meet his gaze with the heavy amount of sadness and guilt that weighed on her. "I want to be with Resin," she clarified, giving him a small glance. "I don't want to leave you or the Armada, but I... I need to be with her. I love her... so, so much. Just thinking about not being with her just..." She trailed off, unable to find the right word to describe the world shattering feeling she had at the idea of having to separate from her lover. She hoped that Sirius could at least understand that much even if it still didn't make it any easier. "Talk"

Sirius let out a soft, annoyed sigh. She knew his buttons, and which to press. Of course he could understand needing to be with the one you love. No one could get between him and Zee. but why couldn’t he be selfish, and hypocritical, and keep Tamsyn? He had put in a lot of time and effort and resource training her, building her up. Putting her into a place where she could support the Armada, and grow into the wolf she was becoming. Now Resin was coming along and snatching away his hard work.
He knew that wasn’t fair, but he didn’t want to be fair.

Only a year ago, he would have kept Tamsyn, and to hell with the consequences. Somewhere along the way, he had grown a conscience. He didn’t want her to go, and he would have been selfish enough to keep her, even if she hated it. Now? Now he would suffer a little hurt for the good of someone he loved.

But he didn’t have to make it easy.

“And if I told you to fight me for the chance to leave?” he asked, curious.

The pause that lingered after her words and the sigh that she got in return made her worry. She of course had hoped that this conversation would go easily and smoothly, but she also knew just how possessive Sirius was of his wolves. It was something that she usually loved about him since it meant that he really, truly cared, but now it made her concerned that her wish to go with Resin to their new pack would be denied. Her stomach twisted nervously as she silently wished for him to speak and say anything, even if it was something she didn't want to hear. She got her wish in the form of a question she hadn't been expecting at all. It made her gaze lift up to his with surprise and she studied his face for a moment to try and figure out if he was being serious. The last time they had really fought had been the first spar she had ever participated in. There had been more training sessions sense then, but that had been their only real fight with a winner and loser. She had grown tremendously since then, but she still felt a bit nervous about her chances against the Warlord. Ultimately, if that was what he wanted, then she would do it if it meant she would get to be with Resin. "If that's what it takes," she replied honestly, meeting his gaze a little more firmly this time. She didn't want to fight him for her right to leave, but she wouldn't let a fight deter her from being with her lover either. "Talk"

He held her gaze for a long while, and then a smile twitched at the corner of his muzzle. He leaned down, kissing the space between her eyes. ‘I believe you would, too” he agreed quietly. Another sigh. “I love you, Tamsyn. Not as lover to lover, not even as leader to follower. But as friend to friend. I have for some time. You are one of the wolves that it hurts the most to let leave. In the face of pure honesty, I do not want you to go. I would keep you, if I thought I could do it without breaking my promise to build you and not break you. The promise I gave my wife, before I knew what you would become to me. And even if I wasn’t holding to that promise, I would not break you because I could not. I would be unable to bear it.” It was definitely a lot more than he would usually say. Laying himself bare before the wolf he had come to trust. He didn’t like it, but they had backed him into a corner. He had no choice but to let her go, though it went against his basic instinct. He allowed her into his heart, she was his and he had allowed that because she was someone who would stay. Someone he thought would stay. She was taking a piece of his world with him, damn her. "Speech"

For a long moment she really thought that she was going to have to fight Sirius for this and she was fully prepared to do so. However, she would be lying if she said she didn’t immediately feel relieved when his expression finally cracked and he leaned down to place a kiss between her eyes. She visibly relaxed and a small twitch of a smile pulled at her lips. She would do anything to be able to live with and love Resin for the rest of her days, but she was a really happy that she didn’t have to fight her friend to do so. As he spoke she could feel the emotion welling up in her chest more and more, forcing tears to collect in her eyes. To say that she was touched was an understatement and to hear that she meant as much to him as he did to her made leaving even harder. She was incredibly grateful for the fact that he was letting her go because she knew that was really the ultimate sign of love that he could have offered her - letting her go to make her happy even though he didn’t want to. She couldn’t find the words to express what she was feeling so she got up and pressed herself into his chest, wrapping her neck around his in an embrace of sorts. She kept her face just out of sight over his shoulder as the tears she had been holding back really started to escape her. She couldn’t tell if they were happy or sad tears at this point, but she did know that she appreciated everything that Sirius was and their friendship that had grown through the process of her healing. “Thank you,” she finally told him, not sure what else to say. "Talk"

She said little, but what else was there to say? He had said his bit, knowing full well it wasn’t enough to convince her to stay. She leaned into his shoulder, and he wrapped a paw about her. Falling into silence. He could think of no response to say in regards to her ‘thanks’ to say any more would only be an insult to the moment. After a time, he sighed softly, and leaned his head gently against hers. At least his friendship with Resin had been more gruff. He still loved and trusted the woman, but he had been able to offer her freedom with less emotion. With Tamsyn, it felt more raw, and upsetting. He closed his eyes, leaning gently against her. Feeling emotion well inside of himself. He didn’t want to lose any more. He didn’t want to lose Malalia. Or Bird, or Odette. Banshee, and many others that had been and gone. Somehow slipping his gasp despite his rules, and his attempts to keep them. Why did he bother loving, when in the end he lost them? His shoulders heaved softly, but his tears were soundless. "Speech"

When he leaned into her in return she let herself close her eyes and for a while they just remained that way, silently holding each other and mourning the separation that was soon to come. Even though she logically knew that they would see each other again - and often if she had anything to say about it - it was still hard to process the fact that their worlds would not over lap the way they once had. It was a case of not being able to have your cake and eat it too. She couldn’t go to live with Resin and see the love of her life fulfill her dream and still hold on to all of the relationships she had formed here even though she wanted to. When she felt his shoulders begin to gently shake with his tears it broke her heart. It made her ears fold back against her skull again and brought even more tears to her own eyes. Somehow she knew that this wasn’t just about her leaving. Even though she knew she meant a lot to him, there was no way that just her departure had caused all this. Even still, she didn’t question it. She shifted her weight so that she could rear up onto her hind legs and she wrapped her forelegs around the massive man’s neck, embracing him even more tightly. There was nothing she could say to comfort him so she just held on to him and hoped that her presence and affection was enough to help ease whatever pain he was feeling in that moment. "Talk"