TIED TO WHAT IS LATE, AIN'T YOU NOW

Aureus settled in to watch the sunrise over Wolfpaw Lake. He kept waking up before dawn in the hours of the early morning and no matter how he tried he couldn't get back to sleep so he just started his days early. He winced and stretched his injured paw. It had healed over, the toes replaced with scar tissue, but in the morning his paw was still stiff and sore. He'd gotten used to his minor handicap and was quickly figuring out how to rebalance himself. Still, he didn't know what to think of his mental space. His thoughts were more scattered than usual but the one thing they could focus on was his boyfriend. He felt some frustration that he had not yet convinced the other man to move in with him. He knew patience was key but still, he was ready to start waking up next to someone from now into the future. In the mean time he supposed it was time to start taking his duties more seriously. Eligos and Pyrrhic had stepped up but in many ways he still felt like a wayward teenager.

Eligos' patrol had taken him into the wee hours of the morning, and he had sent the malinois to bed when the pair had started drooping when they were returning from the border, but he didn't feel tired yet. No, he felt far too restless for sleep, and his body wasn't tired enough by the patrol to force him to sleep. He had a lot running through his mind, like a constantly noise that wouldn't let him rest. It was near enough to drive him to drink or drugs to shut it off, except that the idea of losing control to either was horrifically distasteful to him.

His ears pricked up as he spotted Aureus. Though the two were twins, he'd never understood how someone could not be able to tell them apart at a glance. They were just... different. Some indefinable thing, though one would never be able to look into a still pool of water without seeing his brother. It was an interesting thing. Stepping up next to Aureus, he glanced down at his reflection and tried to imagine it, but he couldn't. He was the third brother, the not-twin, just as he'd always been, and he was fine with that. He was glad his brothers had each other. In a lot of ways, he'd always been too reserved and withdrawn to give them, and their sisters, the sort of sibling affection he saw come so easily to other wolves. After their father's death, he'd withdrawn from his brothers to grieve alone and left them to their own grief instead of giving them the support they needed. And now, preoccupied with the world outside the pack, he had difficulty connecting with the wolves within its boundaries. He loved his family, but he struggled to give them what they gave so freely.

Looking away from his reflection, he turned his attention to Aureus with a weary half-smile, his thoughts still chasing their tail over and over unceasingly, unable to let it go. "Couldn't sleep?"

TIED TO WHAT IS LATE, AIN'T YOU NOW

Aureus' thoughts tumbled about until he heard the sound of approaching paw steps. He looked to see his brother, Eligos. His brother gazed into the water a moment before speaking. "Hey, Eligos." Aureus shook his head in answer to his brother's question. "My paw woke me. What about you? Out on patrol?" He was out of practice with small talk, he realized. How long had it been since he'd sat down and talked with one of his brothers? Hell, his twin had children now and he still had yet to really process it or talk with Pyrrhic about it. They had really drifted apart after the loss of their father. Any more the only wolf he felt close to was Eliphas. Not that he didn't love his family, but the connection was so easy with his boyfriend. He could just start talking. Now, he was keenly aware he wasn't sure what to say or what to talk about. He looked to Eligos, hoping the man had a better idea while he quietly wracked his head for topics, something a bit more interesting than just the weather.

Eligos winced internally when Aureus said why he was awake, and held himself stiff to keep from shifting his weight uncomfortably. Still, he couldn't help the guilt and agony in the gaze he shot to his brother before returning his sight to the water. "Yes, I was doing a late patrol." He was silent for a long tense moment before he sighed and spoke again. "Aureus... what happened to you shouldn't have happened at all. I've let you, and Aerie, down. As alpha I should have done more to prevent something like this happening. A raid on our own soil before we were anywhere near ready to defend against it. I should have had us prepared, and you paid the price for my negligence." He pressed his lips together hard, staring at his reflection rather than his brother's. "I'm sorry, Aury."

TIED TO WHAT IS LATE, AIN'T YOU NOW

Silence stretched between them. Aureus left his gaze on the horizon, trying to think of what to say and wishing things were simple again. Eligos started to apologize and Aureus wanted to stop him but he couldn't quite get his words out so he just stared at his brother in surprise before shaking his head roughly. "No, it's not your fault. It's those bastards that raided us. Don't take the blame from them, they deserve the weight of all of it. Some day we'll be able to pay them back in kind." Aureus looked forward to that day. He'd give that little freak a proper pay back. Until then, he'd have to focus on healing. Aureus stretched out where he laid. "I just wish the future were a bit clearer. Every time I try to look ahead it's like I can't see anything but thick fog. I'm glad to see Pyrr has a path though. His kids look to be excellent additions to the family."

As Aureus stretched out, Eligos slowly lowered himself down to match him. "I know how you feel," he said gravely. A hard admission, since he was supposed to be their leader amd hold all the answers to everything. "I don't know how our father managed the empire with such grace and composure when some days it seems like all I can do to keep the damn dogs from chewing up my bedfurs." His weary expreasion softened though, at the thought of Pyrrhic's little family. "I am glad for Pyrrhic as well. Being an Abraxas isn't particularly calibrated for happiness, so I am pleased that he has found it anyway." And so, so achingly envious. Then quietly, musingly, "The Fallen God can only offer us a path, after all. It is incumbent upon us to decide how or whether to travel upon it. As much as I wish for it, I doubt I will ever find that."