Continued from "I Found Today!" Lurid was proud of her son, but she was a little worried for the next part of their day. Her little one hadn't shown an interest in hunting passed eating the food she brought home, while it made things far easier for her to contain him, Lurid wondered if it meant he was defective in some way. His questions were met with a smile, one that was as gentle as she could manage, and she spoke with a gentle tone. "Hunting, little one. You need something more than mice and birds to keep you fed, and you will need to learn how to catch it." Knowing he was still freaked out by the hunting "accident" that had occurred with his parent, Lurid hoped to coax the boy out of it. If not, he would have to be hungry unless he could catch a rabbit. It was their quarry today, something easy and fairly harmless for him to start with. Kichi was good at catching the smaller rodents, but she hadn't seen him actually go for a rabbit or anything of the like yet. It was time to change that. "I understand your trauma, but know this...I cannot always hunt for you. You will have to catch your own prey one day, I need to know you will be able to." She tried so hard to be gentle with his feelings, but she always came off just a little too firm. It was one of the harder aspects to deal with as a result of her crime, but she would get through it as she had everything else life threw at her. Lurid led the way, away from their usual den site and toward a meadow that was surrounded by redwood trees. A rabbit warren was on the edge of the opposing tree line, and Lurid knew the rodents would be in the middle of the meadow to forage by now. Please, let Kichi be ready for hunting rabbits... Lurid wasn't really sure what to do if he wasn't ready, but it would not be with a gentle, nor delicate, touch.

code by Bird & art by Resin!

Kichi’s pace faltered a bit as she gave her answer, but he quickly bounded a bit to catch up.  The talk of food was enough to have his stomach grumble a reminder it was hungry.  He didn’t respond right away, just listened to Lurid go on. His mind struggling an emotion to land on, there were too many for this concept.  There two key emotions that were winning out over all others.  Fear and anger.  

Anger always fed well on fear, it took away the painful paralyzing sting of the fear wrapping it around in anger, whether it had solid reason or not mattered little.  Kichi didn’t want to hunt, not ever, not real game.  The thing that had killed mom and dad had been much bigger than this but it didn’t matter.  He didn’t want to think of that day, didn’t want to remember any of the past, not any part of it.

Hunting was scary as it hunted down past memories so in a defining moment Kichi decided he simply wouldn’t.  There had been a fight for emotions on his face for a bit but then it had gone oddly calm as he had followed Lurid.  Once he had his answer he looked up, way up to his mom.  “No,” The single word came with a hint of the anger he mostly filtered out of it.  How dare she want to make him confront his past? No one could make him do that, no one. The excuses came to mind of not being hungry, or quietly asking to go home and he knew none of those would shake Lurid.  So he offered no other explanation or excuse, just no.

The tiny puppy stared up at his guardian waiting for his answer to be accepted.

Kichi's silence and sudden calm was not a good omen, already she could feel the clouds of stubbornness forming within the boy. While the dire demon understood his pain, she did not condone his outburst and outright refusal of what she said. Her word was law, and Lurid regretted that he would even pause...'No.' Midstep, Lurid froze and stood stock still on three legs, crystalline hackles rose along her spine at the word and she found her ivory lips rising to show deadly daggers that had already tasted the blood of his parents. Her tail rose slowly, as did the deep and dual-toned growl in her chest, one that would surely rattle his spine. He had never told her no before, had never dared to get that bold, and while it marked strength in character, it was blatant stupidity. Turning on the boy, Lurid was fast to move and aim to plant the boy flat on his back between her massive quartz paws. "I know, I did not just hear that word come from your lips, Kichi." The demon barely held her teeth back from carving her anger into his face, to make him regret telling her 'no,' to make him more afraid of her than he was of hunting. The giantess would pin her son beneath a paw using only enough weight to keep him in check, her claws just barely biting into his skin as he hopefully stared up at her with what she prayed was a sensible fear in his blue gaze. "No one, and I mean no one, tells me no. Especially not you." Lurid stared at him for a moment, trying to pull herself back from terrifying him further, she only wanted him to fear refusing her, and maybe to be at least a little afraid of her also. The brightly colored devil let him up - if indeed he had been pinned at all - and made to continue her way toward the clearing. She decided then, he would either hunt for himself and eat, or wither and weaken. He was only a few months old, so of course, Lurid would never let him starve, but she had had enough of his insolence for one day. Even if he did have a good excuse, such behavior wouldn't be tolerated from him, and if she had to continuously pound it into his head she would. The demonic empress-to-be did not want her son to view her as abusive, but she did want him to understand that she would roll him in the dirt if he displeased or disobeyed her, the same as any other subordinate or child.

code by Bird & art by Resin!

Kichi felt a moment of uncertainty as Lurid had her pissed expression, some part of him wavering with fear versus composure.  He was a small puppy and she was big and stronger.  However, she wasn’t his mom and dad, and she wasn’t going to hurt him anyway, right? As her paw pressed him into the ground he felt his air go out with an ‘oof’ sound.  Once down Kichi noticed he could breathe well enough but if he squirreled to get away he’d probably cut himself on her claws.  Kichi found himself thinking through his situation with no emotion. There was no fear of her, no fear of the hunt but neither was their joy or really anything.  Kichi didn’t like this sense of nothing, like being disconnected from the world, a gulf between himself and everything. Kichi didn’t respond to her comment while downed, he couldn’t decide what to say.  He was busy trying to figure out what the wrongness was inside of him, but once let up felt he should say something,  “Sorry Lurid,” he answered noncommittedly.   Kichi followed slowly followed her, gaze looking back where they had come from then turning back to look where they were going.   His head was and tail was drooped low with lack of interest in his surroundings. “I don’t feel good,” Kichi commented softly.  He wasn’t in pain but the numbness was bothering him.  The grey and white pup didn’t feel the joy of earlier or anything else.  Oddly he was more concerned about himself than her or the hunt.  He wanted to feel something again but some back part of him also urged him that the last thing he wanted to do was feel something.  He wanted time to think through this, somewhere alone and silent.  “Can we go home now?” At least he sounded humbler than the earlier round of blunt defiance. "Speech" Think

Lurid eased herself back down as the boy apologized and asked if they could go home. Part of her wanted to relent and say they could, but the sensible part knew they couldn't, and that was the part she needed to listen to. With a sigh she scooped her adopted son into a warm embrace, and gave a regretful whine. "No, Little Love, we must do this. But fear not, we are only going to chase rabbits today." She hugged him close and smiled into the small boy's scruff. It truly pained her to be hard with him, but it was for his own good. At least she was not like her own father, who would have shaken her senseless for such a comment.

Lurid sighed again and pulled back to look deep in those ocean blue eyes. "One day you will understand. You will have to eat somehow." Nodding her head toward a rabbit warren not far off, where a big buck rabbit sat. "Just one bunny..." She whispered, almost like she wanted him to keep it a secret and not tell the rabbits.

She didn’t understand. Kichi kept his round eyes on her pleadingly for her to understand.  How could she if he couldn’t even explain it?  Kichi let his head rest against her coat with resignation. Her coat was a soft cushion and if his eyes were pressed into it he could almost hide away from his own.  Actually, Kichi was pretty sure if he let himself it would work.  So why didn’t he?   An ear twitched as he soaked in her words of chasing rabbits instead of hunting.  He stepped back from his mom, sea-blue looking eyes looking calmer now, questioning what was going on.  Certainly, it was a fragile calm that could be easily shaken but it was there.  Only chase but not hunt?  Chasing was fine, wasn’t it?  The young pup had never considered it as bad before but it was a stage of hunting, huh?  Just chasing?  Where was the line between fine and not fine?  This was a complex notion for a small pup and finally, he just decided to let it go and trust Lurid.  “Ok Lurid,” the soft tone came with a hesitant sort of trust, an agreement to a bargain.  It was still ‘Lurid’, his protector and guardian, but not his mom. His gaze followed hers to the warren and then the large rabbit.  She was right, food was important.  He didn’t want to think of that now, but he needed to.  Mom and dad were gone, so he shouldn’t act like a little kid.  Searching inwardly for that inner-fire he watched the rabbit closely, letting it be his focus. Don’t think of his mom that was gone, but the way the rabbit's ear twitched.  Don’t think of the fear of that large stag but watch how the rabbit's nose twitched as it smelled the air.  Don’t think of any fear, just the goal.  Don’t be a child, be a wolf. The fear was back there, he knew it was there but the young pup was walking slowly away from his mom, to get so that he would be fully at the rabbit's backside.  This wasn’t a boy going to run and laugh and chase something for fun, this was a tiny wolf looking at how to chase and get as close as he could doing so.  Of course, he was still going by more of what felt right than any knowledge.  Kichi didn’t want to do this it was wrong.  He did want to do it, to be strong.  Kichi thought chasing was fun, wasn’t it?  It used to be until it tied into hunting. The tiny wolf was doing his best to quit thinking and focus on the rabbit but it was so hard! Still, it appeared nothing would break his gaze on his target.  All of his questions and emotions would be taken out on that rabbit. "Speech" Think

This part was probably the most challenging. Lurid realized it was her own fault for letting Kichi see what had truly happened to his birth parents, if she had kept him from the scene he possibly wouldn't be so terrified by the idea of something that should have been instinctive. She was at a crossroads in his raising; she could be patient and wait for him to come around to hunting, or she could simply force his hand by not feeding him. Her own father had forced her to hunt with beatings and scars, with horrible hunger and cruelty. Lurid would not let herself treat her own children so harshly, but her father did have the right idea. If she wanted to break the little boy who now clung to her coat she might have chosen to starve him into hunting, but she loved Kichi, enough that she had actually killed for him. To be harsh or cruel to him now felt wrong, and with a deep breath, she wrapped her massive paw around his tiny frame and held him close. A rare moment of tenderness took her over as she cradled her son in an attempt to comfort him.

This life was not gentle with the weak, she had seen it a dozen times in Mirovis. The strong prevailed, those who learned from their mistakes and improved themselves lived, the ones who could not died. She would not allow her son to be this way forever, he would not be like the weak parents that had birthed him. Lurid was determined that he would hunt, but her care in this situation would determine the outcome. She would have to be gentle, something the dark woman had no idea how to do. When he gave his acceptance, Lurid gave him a reassuring smile. "It won't be so bad, you'll see. Besides, that fat rabbit looks like he could use the exercise, you'd be doing him and his species a favor." She tried to joke, to make him smile instead of looking so dour.

Despite her frustration with the situation, Lurid gave the boy another smile and stood. "Come on, I'll even show you my trick for silent paws." Lurid hoped that would be a good enough bribe to get moving, instead of pouting and looking like he would break at any moment. With a small kiss to her son's cheek, Lurid moved away gently and waited for Kichi to follow.

Often Lurid got away with a hug or a kiss helping to soothe things with Kichi, but right now Kichi didn’t want to feel better. The little fluffball had a stubborn side and right now he was determined not to let go of all these feelings. Kichi hated these feelings, but at the same time, this hurt and numbness were necessary if he was going to focus on doing a thing he didn’t want to. These emotions were feeding on his fear and thus diminishing the fear and sadness. It wasn’t that Kichi so much understood all of the logic behind it, only knowing that he not fall into the falseness of a hug making things ok. Kichi was a puppy and it was a fight to not play the part of one at her joke, his fuzzy tail started to wag at her joke but then stopped. Any sort of jovialness that might have leaked out was gone a moment later. Not now. Now he needed something to force him on, something to mask the fear with another emotion. Lurid was trying to replace fear with laughter but Kichi wouldn’t chase a rabbit for that, the child that laughed was the weak one wrapped in fear. Hate and pain seemed to work better than laughter. A rather cruel reality to learn this early in life. He looked up at her as she offered to lead and somberly followed along. No thoughts of fun, and struggling to remove his doubt as he looked to the rabbit and placed his hatred on it instead. Kichi leaked out the memories that caused pain. His mind refused to remember Lurid telling him what happened or the sight that had met him where his parents had been buried, but instead, he remembered fleeing from the awfulness and trying to flee from himself. He fed on the fear and anguish he recalled at that moment. He even let the rabbit take the weight of the guilt he felt on sometimes looking at Lurid and being angry at her for not saving them. Oh yeah, if he was an accomplished wolf that rabbit would be dead. This wasn’t a chase, nor was this a hunt. This was Kichi wanting to hurt something he had just labeled as what had hurt him first. Would hurting this rabbit stop the pain he felt? He followed, feeling two salty tears trying to form under his eyes and refusing them as well. Those tears that dared to try and fall were also the rabbits fault. "Speech" Think