Honey, I'm Home!
for Theory
11-29-2020, 04:32 PM
Thalia had been gone for days. Just how many nights had passed, she wasn't quite sure. The journey alone from here to home and back again had been substantial, but she hadn't felt like leaving immediately after Aureus's funeral. His death hadn't been taken well by anyone, and she would've gladly stayed longer, but she knew leaving Abaven without a word and not returning for a long while would likely not go well for her. This potential alliance and all its outcomes was important, and she knew deep down that Aureus wouldn't have wanted all of them putting their lives on hold because of him. Begrudgingly she bid her farewells and began the journey back to the East, torn between whether she was making the right decision or not. Staying would be easy, but she wasn't sure the easy way was necessarily the right one. Likewise, ruining things with Theory would be devastating in its own right.
By the time she arrived, it was nearing dawn. The faintest sliver of pink had begun to creep over the horizon, though the sky remained largely dark and littered with stars. The world was quiet, eerily so, and combined with her forlorn mood everything seemed infinitely more dreary. A light fog hung low over the lands, and the rapids send up a gentle spray of mist as they rolled over the rocks. Thalia ambled alongside the river, silent as a specter as she drifted through the fog. It was hard to get her family off her mind, especially Aureus and his untimely death. It wasn't fair - but that shouldn't be surprising to her. The Fallen God was known for being merciless and vengeful, but losing him was hardly something she could easily come to terms with, especially living so far from home. She let out a sigh as she walked, watching the way the water crashed violently against some rocks and more gently against others. Death wasn't unlike these rapids, she supposed - some was violent and quick, and there was nothing they could do about it other than heal and endure. A sigh left her lips as she continued on, wondering if her absence had been noticed. Part of her hoped not.
By the time she arrived, it was nearing dawn. The faintest sliver of pink had begun to creep over the horizon, though the sky remained largely dark and littered with stars. The world was quiet, eerily so, and combined with her forlorn mood everything seemed infinitely more dreary. A light fog hung low over the lands, and the rapids send up a gentle spray of mist as they rolled over the rocks. Thalia ambled alongside the river, silent as a specter as she drifted through the fog. It was hard to get her family off her mind, especially Aureus and his untimely death. It wasn't fair - but that shouldn't be surprising to her. The Fallen God was known for being merciless and vengeful, but losing him was hardly something she could easily come to terms with, especially living so far from home. She let out a sigh as she walked, watching the way the water crashed violently against some rocks and more gently against others. Death wasn't unlike these rapids, she supposed - some was violent and quick, and there was nothing they could do about it other than heal and endure. A sigh left her lips as she continued on, wondering if her absence had been noticed. Part of her hoped not.
11-29-2020, 04:50 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-29-2020, 04:51 PM by Theory.)
Theory would be lying if she'd said that she hadn't noticed. By the very first afternoon she'd tracked Thalia's scent to the borders and stared off, brow furrowed, as the trail dissipated out of the territory and back towards her home. Not a single word of her leaving had been exchanged between the two of them. She was... hurt. Confused. Angry. Had Thalia retreated so soon? Fled like a coward? No, her heart and her mind told her that was impossible. If nothing else, the Abraxas was too prideful to slip away in the night like that. Which meant something happened. Something big enough to draw her away. Was Eligos readying soldiers? She couldn't quite pin his intentions yet which made this whole thing such a gamble. Theory knew she was flirting with a dangerous fate, god-influenced or otherwise. And so she stared after the trail Thalia had taken despondently before she continued her on her patrol. Every time she passed that path over the next few days, she did something very strange. She prayed. Theory wasn't sure to whom or what, but she'd close her eyes briefly and think: Please bring her back to me. Please explain this. Make it make sense.
The weather was just chilly enough this morning that her breath fogged as she strode along the familiar, well-worn path that she took to round the Rapids. It had still been there when they returned, in part because it had been overtaken by deer as a footpath. Their dainty hooves had cleared out soon enough once they'd reclaimed this place, but occasionally a print or two could still be seen in the undergrowth. Theory was more alert than she'd otherwise be on a routine morning patrol because of the fog that hovered everywhere. Everything smelled wet which tended to obscure the true nature of her surroundings. Aside from blizzards, fog was her least favorite condition to patrol in. But because her ears and nose were on high alert, she scented Thalia and heard her pawsteps before she saw her. For a moment her ears flattened in confusion and anger, but by the time she found her they had tentatively hit half-mast. "Where were you?" she said in hushed tones. It felt too strange to speak loudly this early in the morning.
The weather was just chilly enough this morning that her breath fogged as she strode along the familiar, well-worn path that she took to round the Rapids. It had still been there when they returned, in part because it had been overtaken by deer as a footpath. Their dainty hooves had cleared out soon enough once they'd reclaimed this place, but occasionally a print or two could still be seen in the undergrowth. Theory was more alert than she'd otherwise be on a routine morning patrol because of the fog that hovered everywhere. Everything smelled wet which tended to obscure the true nature of her surroundings. Aside from blizzards, fog was her least favorite condition to patrol in. But because her ears and nose were on high alert, she scented Thalia and heard her pawsteps before she saw her. For a moment her ears flattened in confusion and anger, but by the time she found her they had tentatively hit half-mast. "Where were you?" she said in hushed tones. It felt too strange to speak loudly this early in the morning.
11-29-2020, 05:12 PM
Thalia hadn't disappeared without a word to hurt Theory, to confuse or otherwise; she'd left because she'd needed to. Part of her might not have agreed to this entire thing if she'd thought she couldn't leave of her own accord, whenever she wished. Theory was not her superior as Eligos was. Still, she knew as much as Theory that they were both in an uncomfortable predicament, for a few different reasons. Thalia did not belong here - she was constantly reminded of that - and yet she wasn't sure she should be anywhere else at all. It was too soon to many any judgements about Abaven or Theory, or how exactly the Abraxas would best fit into the picture. Before she'd even had time to settle in she'd been pulled back home, and now she was finally back, though she wasn't sure how easily it would be to official integrate now with thoughts of Aureus's death hanging over her like a dark cloud.
It was hardly a surprise that she wasn't in Abaven lands for long before Theory caught scent of her. Early morning patrols were no surprise, though it didn't strike her that Theory might actually worry that she was returning to Eligos to ready an army. They knew far too little about Abaven and their usefulness to jump to such a rash decision. Eligos had stressed that their days of senseless violence were behind them, and Thalia had taken his words to heart. They had to be rational about these things, after all. Not that rationality was always such an easy thing... especially when presented with a less-than-favorable greeting after her return. Thalia slowed as Theory came into view, trying to gauge her expression as best she could. "I went home," she answered simply at first. Was she annoyed with her? She felt a dull anger rising in her throat, though she did her best to quell it, though her posture stiffened. "One of my cousins died unexpectedly. There was a funeral I had to attend." There had been no time to tell Theory and even if there had been, she hadn't been in the right mindset. As she spoke, her words sounded detached, lifeless; her gaze drifted off to the rapids, briefly wondering how many wolves had perished there, or if they really were all fun and games as Theory had made it seem.
It was hardly a surprise that she wasn't in Abaven lands for long before Theory caught scent of her. Early morning patrols were no surprise, though it didn't strike her that Theory might actually worry that she was returning to Eligos to ready an army. They knew far too little about Abaven and their usefulness to jump to such a rash decision. Eligos had stressed that their days of senseless violence were behind them, and Thalia had taken his words to heart. They had to be rational about these things, after all. Not that rationality was always such an easy thing... especially when presented with a less-than-favorable greeting after her return. Thalia slowed as Theory came into view, trying to gauge her expression as best she could. "I went home," she answered simply at first. Was she annoyed with her? She felt a dull anger rising in her throat, though she did her best to quell it, though her posture stiffened. "One of my cousins died unexpectedly. There was a funeral I had to attend." There had been no time to tell Theory and even if there had been, she hadn't been in the right mindset. As she spoke, her words sounded detached, lifeless; her gaze drifted off to the rapids, briefly wondering how many wolves had perished there, or if they really were all fun and games as Theory had made it seem.
11-30-2020, 04:05 PM
"I..." she choked, looking away as her face heated. What foolish thinking. There she'd gone again, circling her thoughts down the drain of anxiety. It felt good to wallow while she was doing it but now she'd seen that she had wasted the past few days with harried worrying. "I'm so sorry. I thought you'd decided to leave for another reason entirely," she murmured. Theory's eyes softened as she saw Thalia stiffen. Death was something that was all too familiar with. "I know family is important to you. I wouldn't have expected anything less than for you to return and mourn. I would have done the same." She tried to stress her words, make Thalia see how alike they might be, but it just came off as wheedling. Theo was completely caught off guard. Her ears flattened and she tentatively moved closer to turn and sit next to her, shoulder-to-shoulder. There was a pleasing and familiar warmth that emanated between them on the chilly fall morning. Together they stared out over the rapids and Theory couldn't help but think of the games she and Noir had played here before he'd made an attempt on Poem's life. Everything had been much simpler then. No one thought at all about how dangerous the coursing waters were. Death hadn't touched any of them.
"How is your family coping?" she asked. They often had their best conversations side-by-side. It helped not having to look each other directly in the eyes when things got tense. Thalia's bright golden gaze was often too much for her to bear, especially when she felt as if she'd made such a fool of herself. Corvus' nursemaid tales of Abraxas occupation must be getting to me... "While you were gone - and I didn't know where you'd went - I... I prayed for your. For your safe return." The words fell from her mouth like rocks into the river before them, casting infinite ripples. There would be no taking them back.
"How is your family coping?" she asked. They often had their best conversations side-by-side. It helped not having to look each other directly in the eyes when things got tense. Thalia's bright golden gaze was often too much for her to bear, especially when she felt as if she'd made such a fool of herself. Corvus' nursemaid tales of Abraxas occupation must be getting to me... "While you were gone - and I didn't know where you'd went - I... I prayed for your. For your safe return." The words fell from her mouth like rocks into the river before them, casting infinite ripples. There would be no taking them back.
12-01-2020, 06:52 PM
She watched with faint bemusement as Theory's demeanor shifted. At first she'd seemed almost standoffish, despite her quiet voice - and then all at once she seemed to deflate, like the air had left her lungs all at once. "No. Just for my family," she responded quietly. For her family, she would do anything; the extent to which she would go wasn't something she cared to dwell on for long. Her life meant little in the larger picture, and regardless of her thoughts on death or the afterlife she would sacrifice her own life in an instant if it was requested of her. Leaving Abaven to attend Aureus's funeral wasn't something she'd even had to think twice about. For a moment she wondered if Theory realized how deep her loyalties truly lay, and if hers were as unyielding.
Her thoughts were very slightly deterred by Theory leaning against her, and as if pulled by some invisible force she found herself sinking to her hindquarters too. A quiet sigh left her lips, a sound fitting for the foggy autumn morning. Her warmth was comforting and inviting, and made opening up a little that much easier. "Not well," she admitted after a moment of hesitation. Perhaps lying would be better; to frame the Abraxas as some unshakable force of strength might be favorable. But Theory spoke at length about her own family ties, and she had a feeling she wouldn't view their mourning as a weakness. If anything, didn't it make them more relatable?
Better yet, why the fuck was she thinking like this right now? Because she had to. Because this was why she was here. She shook her head, as if trying to push those thoughts away, but as she swung herself around to glance at Theory she found herself completely caught off guard. She'd prayed for her return, she said. "You prayed?" She echoed, brows furrowing slightly. Theory had never struck her as religious, and though she'd never quite denied Thalia's own faith she certainly hadn't seemed to think it held much weight. It was only natural to pray to one's God in a time of need, though.... had her absence really distressed her so thoroughly that she might seek the guidance of a higher power? "To who?" Thalia was curious, painfully so, and she found herself leaning a bit further into Theory, tilting her head so her nose grazed the side of her shoulder, gently inviting a response.
Her thoughts were very slightly deterred by Theory leaning against her, and as if pulled by some invisible force she found herself sinking to her hindquarters too. A quiet sigh left her lips, a sound fitting for the foggy autumn morning. Her warmth was comforting and inviting, and made opening up a little that much easier. "Not well," she admitted after a moment of hesitation. Perhaps lying would be better; to frame the Abraxas as some unshakable force of strength might be favorable. But Theory spoke at length about her own family ties, and she had a feeling she wouldn't view their mourning as a weakness. If anything, didn't it make them more relatable?
Better yet, why the fuck was she thinking like this right now? Because she had to. Because this was why she was here. She shook her head, as if trying to push those thoughts away, but as she swung herself around to glance at Theory she found herself completely caught off guard. She'd prayed for her return, she said. "You prayed?" She echoed, brows furrowing slightly. Theory had never struck her as religious, and though she'd never quite denied Thalia's own faith she certainly hadn't seemed to think it held much weight. It was only natural to pray to one's God in a time of need, though.... had her absence really distressed her so thoroughly that she might seek the guidance of a higher power? "To who?" Thalia was curious, painfully so, and she found herself leaning a bit further into Theory, tilting her head so her nose grazed the side of her shoulder, gently inviting a response.
12-01-2020, 07:32 PM
Not well. Theory grimaced but nodded slightly. It was to be expected. Abaven had barely had time to mourn Shaye's death as they still grappled with the aftermath of the volcano. The smog had been as inescapable as their sadness. Even the air seemed heavier with it - and of course it had been. Along with their sadness, they had carried ashes in their fur and stuffed between their ears and toes for months. It was all-consuming. Grief was the same, or so she thought. Maybe only because she so closely associated her own personal tragedy with the eruption. The complicated feelings interwove between the two events until they were inextricably linked. There was no use untangling it now. Every time she smelled smoke or saw dimly flickering embers, she thought of Shaye. "To be expected. Even the strongest packs - and the most stalwart individuals - can be shaken by death. It's the great equalizer," she said. The morning fog twined between them, emphasizing what little space now lay between the pair.
Although the depth of Thalia's loyalty to her family and her god may have shaken her, it may not have surprised her. The only thing Theo was truly a zealot for was the safety and comfort of her family and pack; blind faith she could understand, perhaps better than most. Even then there were exceptions to every rule. Noir crossed her mind briefly. Not every family (or pack, or religion) was without its flaws. No one thing was infallible. Her fur stood on end in the wake of Thalia's gentle touch. Theory tilted her head down just so, enough that her cheek rested just barely on the other woman's ear. "I'm not sure... and I don't know if anyone - or anything? - was listening. But, well, you came back, yeah?" she chuckled nervously. It was frightening to admit that her absence had shaken her so much. If Thalia had never come to stay Theory wasn't sure if she otherwise would have grown this attached to her. Even more startling, she felt just a shade possessive. Thalia was part of Abaven now (sort of, mostly, hopefully). In some strange way the Abraxas now belonged to her. She wouldn't be getting away easily.
Although the depth of Thalia's loyalty to her family and her god may have shaken her, it may not have surprised her. The only thing Theo was truly a zealot for was the safety and comfort of her family and pack; blind faith she could understand, perhaps better than most. Even then there were exceptions to every rule. Noir crossed her mind briefly. Not every family (or pack, or religion) was without its flaws. No one thing was infallible. Her fur stood on end in the wake of Thalia's gentle touch. Theory tilted her head down just so, enough that her cheek rested just barely on the other woman's ear. "I'm not sure... and I don't know if anyone - or anything? - was listening. But, well, you came back, yeah?" she chuckled nervously. It was frightening to admit that her absence had shaken her so much. If Thalia had never come to stay Theory wasn't sure if she otherwise would have grown this attached to her. Even more startling, she felt just a shade possessive. Thalia was part of Abaven now (sort of, mostly, hopefully). In some strange way the Abraxas now belonged to her. She wouldn't be getting away easily.
12-02-2020, 06:19 PM
Her family had not taken Malleus's death well, nor Aureus's, though at least for Aureus they'd had time to properly mourn him and conduct a proper funeral. Having some proper closure was a comfort, albeit a small one. There was no way to easily come to terms with death, not in the manner Aureus had died. Perhaps if he'd gone a different way they might celebrate his death, but he'd been too young, his life taken too swiftly by little more than an unfortunate accident. "Apparently so," she acknowledged quietly, content to lean against Theory and bask in her warmth. She understood the feeling of grieving while needing to remain outwardly strong; Thalia didn't quite have the weight of a pack relying on her in the same way Theory did, but the need to seem strong and unbreakable was sometimes suffocating. Especially when she worried she was anything but. When it seemed inevitable that she might let down Eligos, against all her efforts, and she might not be welcomed home. The thought alone merely made her deflate, but the pressure of Theory leaning against her felt like it might be the only thing keeping her upright.
Theory had looked to a higher power in her absence, and admitted she'd prayed. Though she didn't know if anyone had heard her, but seemed to imply that Thalia's return might have signified.. something? Something like hope flickered in her chest at the thought, even if she knew the feeling was foolish. Converting anyone was hardly an easy feat, even if her father had somehow pulled it off. Theory wouldn't be swayed so easily, if at all. "I'm glad you worried for me," she admitted quietly. Theory's voice, quiet against her ear, sent a cascade of shivers down her spine - she hoped her slight fidgeting was easily ignored. The thought that Theory had worried for her to the point of praying to a god (or gods?) that she didn't believe in sent a weird thrill through her. She'd been desperate. For her. What exactly did that mean? "I worried I might not want to come back here. Seeing my family like that, and wanting to be there for them. But I wouldn't want you to... get the wrong idea." That she wasn't a wolf of her word, that her presence here wouldn't benefit Abaven in some way, that she didn't want to be here... with her, for her. At least that was part of the reason, and the one that occupied the forefront of her mind whenever she was this close to her.
Theory had looked to a higher power in her absence, and admitted she'd prayed. Though she didn't know if anyone had heard her, but seemed to imply that Thalia's return might have signified.. something? Something like hope flickered in her chest at the thought, even if she knew the feeling was foolish. Converting anyone was hardly an easy feat, even if her father had somehow pulled it off. Theory wouldn't be swayed so easily, if at all. "I'm glad you worried for me," she admitted quietly. Theory's voice, quiet against her ear, sent a cascade of shivers down her spine - she hoped her slight fidgeting was easily ignored. The thought that Theory had worried for her to the point of praying to a god (or gods?) that she didn't believe in sent a weird thrill through her. She'd been desperate. For her. What exactly did that mean? "I worried I might not want to come back here. Seeing my family like that, and wanting to be there for them. But I wouldn't want you to... get the wrong idea." That she wasn't a wolf of her word, that her presence here wouldn't benefit Abaven in some way, that she didn't want to be here... with her, for her. At least that was part of the reason, and the one that occupied the forefront of her mind whenever she was this close to her.
12-16-2020, 08:54 AM
Although death hung over the pair like smog, they also shared a glittering warmth between them. Ephemeral but real: so close to being something that they could almost feel the tenuous connection developing between them, pulled taut like a single thread. ”I worry for everyone I care about. Constantly. I go to sleep worrying, I wake up worrying,” she murmured, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead harder against Thalia. ”It’s my curse,” Theory tried to laugh but the sound was flat. It was true. Being a leader - for her - was a constant state of low grade panic. Did everyone get enough to eat? Was everyone happy? Was something stirring beneath the surface of apparent calm, a terrible danger that she couldn’t possibly foresee? The wildfire and volcano had shaped her as an alpha. They wouldn’t be soon forgotten.
”I know you’re a woman of your word. But I also know that blood ties are strong. I can’t say I would have forgiven you if you stayed, but I would have… understood,” Theory said carefully. ”However, take as much time as you need.” She carefully untwined herself from Thalia and nudged her chin so that their eyes were locked. ”I have no intention of keeping you as a prisoner here. You are free to come and go, just like any other member of my pack. I just ask that you inform me next time.” Taking a wild chance, Theory gave her a light, chaste kiss on the cheek.
”I know you’re a woman of your word. But I also know that blood ties are strong. I can’t say I would have forgiven you if you stayed, but I would have… understood,” Theory said carefully. ”However, take as much time as you need.” She carefully untwined herself from Thalia and nudged her chin so that their eyes were locked. ”I have no intention of keeping you as a prisoner here. You are free to come and go, just like any other member of my pack. I just ask that you inform me next time.” Taking a wild chance, Theory gave her a light, chaste kiss on the cheek.
12-16-2020, 07:10 PM
Thalia could relate, though above all else she worried for her family's place in the eyes of the Fallen God. It sometimes felt impossible to properly interpret his signs - and what even was or wasn't a sign at all. Malleus's death had clearly been a sign to her, but Aureus's seemed less likely to be one. The Fallen God was all-powerful, but even He was sometimes a victim to the pulls of fate, which was precisely why He'd been exiled in the first place. Beyond that, she worried for the well being of her family and for Aerie, for her missing brother, and lastly... for Theory, more often than she cared to admit. Perhaps not while she'd been gone - her mind had been rightfully occupied - but often enough. Arriving in Abaven helped soften those worries, but they were ever-present still. What was most worrisome of all was what precisely she felt for Theory, and lastly what it ultimately meant. To her family, to her God. It seemed impossible to reconcile, as hard as she tried, but the beauty of being here was that she was allowed to forget it. At least for now, even if not forever.
Thalia let out a slow exhale of a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as Theory nudged her chin toward her. "I'll try. But Fel came suddenly, and..." Her words disappeared into nothingness as Theory placed a kiss upon her cheek, her thought disappearing into the early morning mist. She was still for a long moment, drowning in her own frantic thoughts. "What would your pack think, if they saw you like this with me?" The question had an air of playfulness to it, though she was being quite serious - whatever this was. "Their leader, fraternizing with an Abraxas?" She needed to break down precisely what Abaven as a whole thought about her family, from the lowliest member to the highest. Thalia needed to know that she didn't constantly have to be watching her back here. While Theory was plagued with worries of the well-being of her members, Thalia would be kept awake wondering if someone was concocting a plan to eliminate her entirely. Despite these thoughts, she returned the kiss with a gentle lick to the corner of Theory's mouth, wishing her heart wasn't beating quite so quickly all of a sudden.
Thalia let out a slow exhale of a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as Theory nudged her chin toward her. "I'll try. But Fel came suddenly, and..." Her words disappeared into nothingness as Theory placed a kiss upon her cheek, her thought disappearing into the early morning mist. She was still for a long moment, drowning in her own frantic thoughts. "What would your pack think, if they saw you like this with me?" The question had an air of playfulness to it, though she was being quite serious - whatever this was. "Their leader, fraternizing with an Abraxas?" She needed to break down precisely what Abaven as a whole thought about her family, from the lowliest member to the highest. Thalia needed to know that she didn't constantly have to be watching her back here. While Theory was plagued with worries of the well-being of her members, Thalia would be kept awake wondering if someone was concocting a plan to eliminate her entirely. Despite these thoughts, she returned the kiss with a gentle lick to the corner of Theory's mouth, wishing her heart wasn't beating quite so quickly all of a sudden.
01-05-2021, 07:15 AM
Fraternizing with an Abraxas… Theory sniffed slightly in offense. ”My father has made plenty of interesting decisions with his personal life. I have always chosen not to judge, but to look upon them with compassion. If happiness comes from those choices, who am I to apply some sort of morality to a situation I can never possibly understand?” The young leader - who now felt older with each passing day - sighed deeply. ”If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we cannot - nor should we aspire - to live inside the heads of everyone else. Especially those we love. We can only seek to understand with our own limited point of view. Anyway, philosophy and all aside, I mean no one in Abaven is in a position to judge us. Especially not my family. When Thalia returned her chaste kiss, she finally felt the last coil of stress unwind itself within her. What was once a perfectly tight knot was now a simple thread that connected them both. Tension built and released between them, but Theory saw now that the two of them were inextricably linked.
”Besides. I’d like to think that if they saw how happy I am right now in this moment, they would simply be grateful. We’ve all suffered so much - my sister and father have found their mates, their life partners. I watch them go about their days so helplessly in love they don’t even realize it: every action seems to revolve effortlessly around someone else. They’ve noticed I’ve been distracted… I’ve even confessed to my sister there is someone I, well, hold affections for. And that I’m worried they don’t return it. At least, not the same way…” She cursed herself for rambling on and on. Her words never came out the way she wanted around Thalia, but she figured most of the intent was coming across. ”The way you speak of honor and duty, your family must have some vision of your future. Do you share that? Do you see yourself elsewhere? Would they be upset with your choices?” Would they forgive you if you stayed? Would you even… stay?
”Besides. I’d like to think that if they saw how happy I am right now in this moment, they would simply be grateful. We’ve all suffered so much - my sister and father have found their mates, their life partners. I watch them go about their days so helplessly in love they don’t even realize it: every action seems to revolve effortlessly around someone else. They’ve noticed I’ve been distracted… I’ve even confessed to my sister there is someone I, well, hold affections for. And that I’m worried they don’t return it. At least, not the same way…” She cursed herself for rambling on and on. Her words never came out the way she wanted around Thalia, but she figured most of the intent was coming across. ”The way you speak of honor and duty, your family must have some vision of your future. Do you share that? Do you see yourself elsewhere? Would they be upset with your choices?” Would they forgive you if you stayed? Would you even… stay?
01-10-2021, 01:21 PM
Thalia wasn't sure she could muster the same kind of empathy for her family's decisions. They were bound to the same set of morals that she was, ones that they could only loosely interpret based on the actions of their God. It was hard to imagine loosening those visions for her family just because they were happy. There was more to life than just being happy, wasn't there? Duty and faith came first. There were so many things in life that would be made easier if she didn't adhere to those values. "I see," she breathed simply. It was hard to imagine not judging her father for leaving their family to be with someone he loved. Instead her mother had joined the Abraxas, a true follower despite not being blood. They had left to find answers and she fully believed that was what they had intended to do. There were more important things than even family, Thalia knew that too. That was why she hadn't abandoned Aerie to search for her missing brother - it just wasn't what she was meant to do.
"I'm not sure most of my family is quite so... lenient," Thalia admitted carefully. It was hard to not lie here with Theory and envision Eligos's calculating stare if he saw them lying together like this. All for the greater good, she tried to remind herself, but even that seemed a truth that was stretching too thin now. She wasn't sure she agreed with Theory's sentiment about happiness being a reward for enough suffering. It was hard to imagine, even after all she had gone through and all the Abraxas had gone through, her being worthy of anything quite like happiness. Not after all her God had endured. Surely they were meant to suffer in a similar way before being truly rewarded with the immortality they deserved. But enough of those thoughts. It was hard to untangle thoughts of her faith from her thoughts of Theory, even if it felt they couldn't coexist without strife. There was no Thalia without faith; she couldn't find where it ended nor where it began. It was all-consuming, and made her feel like she couldn't breathe sometimes.
Theory's words weren't entirely surprising, even if they caught her off guard. "I'm sure they do return it," she responded tentatively. She knew Theory was speaking without being direct, and Thalia had no issue doing the same. Addressing her emotions was never an easy thing for her and saying them out loud was an even trickier feat. "Maybe they just don't know how to tell you that."" Theory's next thoughts were exactly one of the things that worried her the most about all of this. "I see myself..." She trailed off, her tongue suddenly heavy in her mouth. "Wherever I need to be. Currently, the Abraxas.. we seek to repair our damaged reputation. We are a valuable as an ally to Abaven." Her mouth was dry. She shouldn't be speaking so freely with Theory, but she didn't know what else to do, though she wouldn't tell her the whole truth. That someday Eligos envisioned the Abraxas wove so finely into the packs that existed here that they wouldn't know what to do without them, doing the work that many of them could not. "Eligos trusts that I am here convincing you of this.. that our futures are better if we work together. Against everything you've heard about my family and what some of our.. wayward family members have done in the past. But, you must know that's not the only reason I came." She must know that, right?
"I'm not sure most of my family is quite so... lenient," Thalia admitted carefully. It was hard to not lie here with Theory and envision Eligos's calculating stare if he saw them lying together like this. All for the greater good, she tried to remind herself, but even that seemed a truth that was stretching too thin now. She wasn't sure she agreed with Theory's sentiment about happiness being a reward for enough suffering. It was hard to imagine, even after all she had gone through and all the Abraxas had gone through, her being worthy of anything quite like happiness. Not after all her God had endured. Surely they were meant to suffer in a similar way before being truly rewarded with the immortality they deserved. But enough of those thoughts. It was hard to untangle thoughts of her faith from her thoughts of Theory, even if it felt they couldn't coexist without strife. There was no Thalia without faith; she couldn't find where it ended nor where it began. It was all-consuming, and made her feel like she couldn't breathe sometimes.
Theory's words weren't entirely surprising, even if they caught her off guard. "I'm sure they do return it," she responded tentatively. She knew Theory was speaking without being direct, and Thalia had no issue doing the same. Addressing her emotions was never an easy thing for her and saying them out loud was an even trickier feat. "Maybe they just don't know how to tell you that."" Theory's next thoughts were exactly one of the things that worried her the most about all of this. "I see myself..." She trailed off, her tongue suddenly heavy in her mouth. "Wherever I need to be. Currently, the Abraxas.. we seek to repair our damaged reputation. We are a valuable as an ally to Abaven." Her mouth was dry. She shouldn't be speaking so freely with Theory, but she didn't know what else to do, though she wouldn't tell her the whole truth. That someday Eligos envisioned the Abraxas wove so finely into the packs that existed here that they wouldn't know what to do without them, doing the work that many of them could not. "Eligos trusts that I am here convincing you of this.. that our futures are better if we work together. Against everything you've heard about my family and what some of our.. wayward family members have done in the past. But, you must know that's not the only reason I came." She must know that, right?
01-11-2021, 10:19 AM
I'm sure they do return it. Theory smiled radiantly. Although a less morally sound wolf may have been smug about Thalia's final roundabout admission of affection, she was too happy to let that ugliness show (although there was part of her, hidden behind her goody-two-shoes heart, that smirked and uttered duh). Wasn't it clear now? They could couch her arrival in all sorts of code and lies, but the simple truth of the matter was: Thalia had come here to be with her. Even if it was temporary. That much was obvious - and so, her feelings were undeniable. It was just simple logic. At least that's what Theory told herself. Their time here was tenuous and precious. While she wished to preserve it by not speaking of the future, it was also impossible not to wonder where it led. "What if you did convince me?" she replied, resting her chin neatly on Thalia's paws. The more time she spent here, the more comfortable they were growing together. No longer did she catch herself agonizing over every small touch and gesture.
"What if, as a sign of our union, I asked to keep you... in a more permanent sense? You would be treated as an honored member of Abaven but free to leave and visit Aerie at your or Eligos' will. It is my understanding that there are splintered sects of your religion. It is certainly brilliant of your leader to seek to form trusted alliances instead of blindly raging about Boreas. Of course, rejoining the mainland puts you in a much better position for this kind of networking. I have respect for his decisions, regardless of faith. I could see us working with Aerie in the future." Her words were careful and shrewd. If there was an opportunity for her to keep her, she would take it. But would she even want to go? Could she be happy belonging here? "You are much more than a pawn to me, but if we could somehow rig the game to be together - well, wouldn't you want that? You could honor your faith. Your family. You could still have me. You could have it all."
"What if, as a sign of our union, I asked to keep you... in a more permanent sense? You would be treated as an honored member of Abaven but free to leave and visit Aerie at your or Eligos' will. It is my understanding that there are splintered sects of your religion. It is certainly brilliant of your leader to seek to form trusted alliances instead of blindly raging about Boreas. Of course, rejoining the mainland puts you in a much better position for this kind of networking. I have respect for his decisions, regardless of faith. I could see us working with Aerie in the future." Her words were careful and shrewd. If there was an opportunity for her to keep her, she would take it. But would she even want to go? Could she be happy belonging here? "You are much more than a pawn to me, but if we could somehow rig the game to be together - well, wouldn't you want that? You could honor your faith. Your family. You could still have me. You could have it all."
01-11-2021, 07:36 PM
Thalia wasn't totally sure how Theory would respond to her honesty, but then again she didn't understand the full depths of what such an alliance meant. What it meant to be tied to the Abraxas, and what exactly they were capable of. Part of her feared what Theory would say if she knew the depths of her faith and her loyalty to her family. Perhaps she understood the latter, but it was hard to imagine Theory understanding the former. It seemed inevitable that this was all too good to be true, even as Theory seemed to agree with what she'd been saying. Arguing with her didn't seem to do any good, not when Thalia herself wasn't sure the extremes she'd go to for her family. It was hard to imagine a situation where her family loyalty would hurt Theory, but...
She knew it was still a possibility, and a very real one at that. "Eligos is the first leader I've known to give my family a real vision. Hiding away in Auster did nothing for us. Our greatness.. demands otherwise." Would Theory think she was being facetious? She certainly wasn't. Thalia took a steady breath, wondering if it was possible things would work out as easily as Theory made them seem like they could. Here she could do the things Theory was afraid of, to help Abaven; Thalia knew more than anything she cared for her family and what they thought of her. Thalia could no doubt prove valuable to her, she was sure of it. "And why me?" She asked after a moment of thought. "Could you truly.." Love. That was the word, but it seemed to heavy to spill quite yet. "Hold affections for me?" That word seemed a safer one, the same way Theory had said it. "There is so much you don't know about me and the Abraxas," she breathed finally, curling a bit tighter against her, feeling protected by the fog that still hung heavy over them and blanketed them from any prying eyes.
She knew it was still a possibility, and a very real one at that. "Eligos is the first leader I've known to give my family a real vision. Hiding away in Auster did nothing for us. Our greatness.. demands otherwise." Would Theory think she was being facetious? She certainly wasn't. Thalia took a steady breath, wondering if it was possible things would work out as easily as Theory made them seem like they could. Here she could do the things Theory was afraid of, to help Abaven; Thalia knew more than anything she cared for her family and what they thought of her. Thalia could no doubt prove valuable to her, she was sure of it. "And why me?" She asked after a moment of thought. "Could you truly.." Love. That was the word, but it seemed to heavy to spill quite yet. "Hold affections for me?" That word seemed a safer one, the same way Theory had said it. "There is so much you don't know about me and the Abraxas," she breathed finally, curling a bit tighter against her, feeling protected by the fog that still hung heavy over them and blanketed them from any prying eyes.
01-15-2021, 04:49 PM
Eligos had been kind to her sister and he seemed to be a shrewd leader. Theory respected his allegiance to her family and she understood Eligos' drive for greatness. There was so much pressure when you were not only the leader of your pack, but de facto head of your family. It was a more complex relationship than she'd ever known. If anything, perhaps she'd relate to him. "Boreas was certainly lacking without you in it," Theory murmured, situating her nose closer to Thalia's chest. "I am in awe of you," she whispered. "Your steadfastness, your commitment. Your drive. Your beauty." It was the first time she'd ever directly referenced the carnal attraction she felt. Thalia was built differently than she was - Theo couldn't help but feel drawn to her strength, her piercing eyes, the way that she could move silently and with singular purpose. "You terrify and captivate me." Still, she had her inhibitions. She could understand that much. While she wished this could all be solved simply, there was so much at stake. They would have to proceed carefully.
"Tell me what you wish I'd know before I make any kind of choice. What would soothe your worry?" Although she found it hard to imagine anything that would make her change her mind, Thalia had enough concern to give pause. Was there anything that could hold her back now? She felt as if she was free falling from the cliffs towards the ocean below, but the sharp bite of the waves never hit. Just tumbling endlessly towards an unknown final destination.
"Tell me what you wish I'd know before I make any kind of choice. What would soothe your worry?" Although she found it hard to imagine anything that would make her change her mind, Thalia had enough concern to give pause. Was there anything that could hold her back now? She felt as if she was free falling from the cliffs towards the ocean below, but the sharp bite of the waves never hit. Just tumbling endlessly towards an unknown final destination.
01-19-2021, 05:47 PM
Truthfully. Thalia had not anticipated... well, this level of understanding. Theory hadn't been upset when she'd admitted part of the reason she'd come in the first place, that she had ulterior motives, but the more she thought about it.. how could Theory not understand? Though they were vastly different in many regards, above all else they were both loyal, to their families and their packs. She understood that there were things far more important than personal desires; in fact, that many things were considerably more important, without question. A lesser wolf might've been hurt that Thalia had even attempted to keep her true intentions from her, but she simply understood, and Thalia felt her heart aching in a way it had never before.
The feeling was only exacerbated by Theory's answer to her question. "You have a way with words that... I lack," she admitted carefully. Thalia was too guarded, her emotions kept locked deep inside, often pushed down so deep that even she had trouble accessing them. Talking about them in a concrete way was difficult, over-complicated by her overly-complex mind. "I'm drawn to you for the same reasons. No one's ever captured my attention quite like you. I haven't stopped thinking about you practically since the day we met." Theory had infuriated her as much as she'd captivated her, but in a way Thalia had trouble deciphering the two. Theory elicited emotions from her that most things, let alone wolves, simply did not - that was why she knew she belonged here, with here, at least right now.
For a moment she wished she'd said nothing, but the words came before she could stop them and then Theory was pausing to probe a bit further. "I fear," she started, as careful as ever. She pulled away from Theory only slightly, entranced by her touch and how freely it was being given. For a moment all she could think of was whether they ought to find somewhere more private to sleep away to, but the fog had yet to lift and there were no signs of anyone nearby. "I fear you may not understand how seriously most of my family, and I, take our faith. It means everything to me." She was serious. Faith would always come before her needs or desires, or her relationship with Theory or anyone else, or even her own life. It had to.
The feeling was only exacerbated by Theory's answer to her question. "You have a way with words that... I lack," she admitted carefully. Thalia was too guarded, her emotions kept locked deep inside, often pushed down so deep that even she had trouble accessing them. Talking about them in a concrete way was difficult, over-complicated by her overly-complex mind. "I'm drawn to you for the same reasons. No one's ever captured my attention quite like you. I haven't stopped thinking about you practically since the day we met." Theory had infuriated her as much as she'd captivated her, but in a way Thalia had trouble deciphering the two. Theory elicited emotions from her that most things, let alone wolves, simply did not - that was why she knew she belonged here, with here, at least right now.
For a moment she wished she'd said nothing, but the words came before she could stop them and then Theory was pausing to probe a bit further. "I fear," she started, as careful as ever. She pulled away from Theory only slightly, entranced by her touch and how freely it was being given. For a moment all she could think of was whether they ought to find somewhere more private to sleep away to, but the fog had yet to lift and there were no signs of anyone nearby. "I fear you may not understand how seriously most of my family, and I, take our faith. It means everything to me." She was serious. Faith would always come before her needs or desires, or her relationship with Theory or anyone else, or even her own life. It had to.
01-21-2021, 08:45 AM
I fear... Her heart hurt for Thalia even as it raced with delight as she finally admitted her feelings. There was a delicious feeling that came with being right. All this time she had assumed Thalia had felt the same (because she had to, otherwise she'd be a fool), but the confirmation that she was, in fact, correct - well, there was nothing quite like it. Theory smiled radiantly and gave her partner another chaste kiss on the chin. Although Felicity's talk of how women might please one another was lurking in the back of her mind, their connection felt so much stronger than that. Theory wanted to nurse these embers into a steady flame and she wouldn't risk rushing anything. Instead she chose to savor every small touch and gesture, making sure the memory of it was etched permanently in her mind. "Tell me more about your faith, then. Would it ask something of you that would... hurt me? Us?" Hurt my family? While the Abraxas of old seemed more focused on conversion and domination, Eligos' style of leadership was much more slick than that. Which, of course, meant it could be insidious. Theory didn't fully understand what Thalia meant; their allegiances would always be split, that she understood, but she also knew her loyalty to her family and pack would never directly jeopardize Thalia's safety or happiness.
01-24-2021, 02:07 PM
Her feelings for Theory were difficult, not only because she didn't know how to properly express them, but because they forced her to rethink everything she believed - well, at least some things. Theory echoed those very concerns perfectly, always somehow more eloquent than she was capable of being. "I don't want to talk about it right now," she admitted finally, after a long and arduous pause. It was hard to imagine what Theory might think of her beliefs, said plainly; that she and her kin were descendants of the Fallen God, and that through faith and worship they might someday reclaim the throne that was stolen from him so long ago. Could she possibly understand, truly understand? "But I would never hurt you, nor your family." Not the ones that didn't deserve it, at least, but there were always exceptions like that. But Thalia said those words with conviction, despite the low tone of her voice. The thought of harming Theory didn't settle well with her, and instinctively she found herself pulling herself even closer to the slightly larger woman, if such a thing was even possible. "I can promise you that." She had to believe that if she wanted this to work, regardless of how.. well, anything worked out in the end.