She walked steadily from The Hallows to the Armada border, a grim determination on her features. Hearing what she had from Artorias about the conversation he had with her father after their fight, hearing how they had worked together on meditation techniques, it gave her hope. It was hard to look past the memory that was firmly planted in her mind, the sight of her father's teeth lodged firmly next to her throat. She hadn't let herself be near him for even a moment since that night as her own fear of what could have happened really began to build and snowball in her thoughts. Staying with Asla had helped and staying for a few days in The Hallows had helped even more. There were so many questions she had about how she thought of the Blue Boy and her heart ached because the only wolf she wanted to ask was her father. She had to face him, she had to get over her fear. There wasn't another option.

Briar determinedly walked past the border, working her way down through the plains as she began to search for Sirius, reminding herself as she went that she had to do this. She couldn't keep running from her own father. It wasn't good for her and it wasn't good for him either. Eventually she spotted him from a distance, his signature stripes standing out against the dark fur that made up their background and she stopped, hesitating for a long moment. His back was to her so she could still slip away without him noticing, but the longer she stood there the more she tried to remember the determination she had held on to tightly on the way here. She'd never be able to help him if she couldn't even look at him.

Pulling in a calming breath, she pushed herself forward, walking around to face him while still giving him a decent amount of space. Baby steps. "Dad?" she asked softly as she went looking for his gaze, her ears flicking back against her head. Suddenly all she wanted was one of his big, signature hugs, but the moment she took one step closer to him she hesitated, uncertain and uneasy.

"Briar" | "Marigold"

I can't destroy what isn't there

He could not stay in the Hallows forever. It had hurt, how hard it had been to walk away. To make his way back to the Armada, and to leave Art and Tamsyn behind. He knew he had transferred his possessive, terrible need, to them. Perhaps that wasn’t healing, but it had kept him alive. It took everything he had to turn his back on them, and make his way back to the Armada alone.

Even now, he was faced with the desire to go back to the Hallows, grab his teeth in their scruffs, and bring them back with him. They would not be happy, forced under the Warlords control, but they would be here. They would be safe

His agitation at denying his inner wolf left him short tempered. Or perhaps that was returning to the Armada, to his home devoid of Zee. To be forced with the reminder of what he had lost, but her absence at his side every day.

He was patrolling the borders with a fervour that was perhaps not entirely wise, when he caught sight of Briar.

Every time, every time he saw her, he saw Zee first and Briar second. It was like the heart of her mother had decided to greet them on soft padded paws, and youthful green eyes. It broken his heart every time he saw her, but he could never say it outloud

“Briar.” he said softly, bringing himself down from his agitation and loss. Forcing a smile on his muzzle. He had the feeling she was avoiding him, but had put it down to splitting her time to see Art.


"Speech"

It wasn't that hard to tell that the smile he gave her was forced and she wondered if she should have bothered him at all. But if she didn't then how much longer was she going to let herself keep avoiding him? She took Asla's warning to be careful around him to heart, but she had gone even above and beyond that to just not see him at all. There had to be somewhere in-between that she could be where she'd still get to see and be around her father that she loved so much while still keeping herself safe, right? Bracing her nerves, she stepped forward a bit more, bringing her nose up to boop it gently against his just like she had the night he attacked her before she went to find Asla. That felt like a safe amount of contact, even though it still didn't compare to the hug she craved so badly.

"I went and saw Artorias," she told him, feeling as if she needed to fill the empty, quiet air between them. "He told me about everything that happened while you were there so... So I wanted to come check on you." Her worry and love for him far outweighed her own fear, that fact showing through in her wide turquoise gaze as she looked up at him, slowly growing more uncertain the longer she met his sapphire eyes. "Are you... finding your center?" She questioned, thinking back to what he had told her that night. His warning to be prepared and it still puzzled her, but she had stopped trying to figure it out. She didn't like feeling like she needed to tip toe around him. She missed being able to run up to him and bump him with her head or get scooped up in his embrace. She wished she could just make everything right again.

"Briar" | "Marigold"

I can't destroy what isn't there

Briar it was Briar before him. Once his heart had time to remember that, and to cool, he could push aside his other emotions more easily. When she moved towards him, he lowered her head so she could bump his nose more easily. He would have grabbed her in a hug then and there, but there was a caution to his Briar.

She was keeping a distance between them, once that never would have existed only a week or so ago. Was it more than a week? Time had blended together, his days had blurred. It could have been a week, it could have been a year.

“He did?” Sirius asked, raising a brow in true surprise. He hadn’t had a chance to sit Briar down and talk it through with her. He supposed the cat was out of that bag now. He sighed softly. “I’m sorry my love. Are you angry with me?” Maybe the distance between them was for more than just that night he had woken after a night terror. Perhaps it was anger that kept her apart. Anger that he would dare try and leave her, and use Art to do it.

“I… I taught Artorias meditation, and in doing so, I believe I did find a little calm of my own.” and Tamsyn had dragged him to his center, hissing and spitting to get him there, but he did not mention that.

"Speech"

Her expression softened a little and a slight smile pulled at her lips when he asked if she was angry with him. Artorias had thought the same thing and had been so sure that she would have been mad at him for what he had done to her father, but she couldn't find a reason to be angry with either of them. "No, I'm not angry with you... Just worried." At least she could be honest with him. The only thing she continued to feel when she looked at her father was worry and perhaps still just the smallest bit of fear, but seeing him like this and knowing she had Artorias to lean back on was helping that begin to fade. She listened as he talked about finding a bit of his own calm when he was teaching Artorias how to meditate and that helped to ease some of her worries too. She just needed him to be calm, find his center. As long as he could do that then she wouldn't have to worry about losing him too.

"I'm glad," she told him softly, her tail wagging gently behind her. She inched a bit closer, now well within reach of his long limbs. It felt as if she was testing the waters with herself and him. The last time she had cuddled into him it had ended with his fangs in her skin. It would have been easier to just keep avoiding him until the memory had faded into nothing, but there was no way to tell how long that would take. She missed him. She wasn't willing to separate herself from her father for ages just to keep herself from facing her own fear.

"Could I... Could I have a hug?" she asked as she peered up at him, deciding that was safer than just leaning into him herself. She had to believe that he wouldn't if it wasn't safe so she left it in his paws, no matter how much she wanted to just lean into his chest and force herself to break away from the things that were holding her back. She didn't want to keep thinking about that night, she just wanted to be present so she could help him stay at that center.

"Briar" | "Marigold"

I can't destroy what isn't there

He held still as she moved closer to him. Treating her like one likely to startle at any sudden movements. He could see she was familiarising herself with being near him again. Pushing gently, to see what she could manage. If she was not angry at his suicide attempt, then it was the fear. He had truly and terribly frightened her when he had woken from the terror. She was right to be frightened of him. They both knew how it could have been.

He missed curling up with his little ones, missed their warmths, and the familiar sounds of their breathing. It hurt to hold them at arms lengths.

He let out a soft sigh of relief at her request, a smile warming his muzzle as he crouched down low to the ground. “Of course, love.” he said gently, opening his arms and let herself fold into them as much or as little as she desired.


"Speech"

Briar was surprised by how relieved he seemed at her request and found herself meeting his smile with one of her own as he opened up his arms to invite her in. She half expected herself to be hesitant and cautious since that's all her mind ever wanted her to be since that night, but with the opportunity in front of her the desire to make things right and normal again sent that caution flying into the wind. She hurried forward and practically dove into his hug, pressing herself into his chest and folding into him just like she always had. It was so much easier to ignore that anything was wrong when she was wrapped in one of his hugs. It was similar to how she felt with Artorias hugged her to let her cry out everything that had been pent up over the days following when they discovered that her mother and brother were gone.

She accidentally bumped the side of his head with her antlers in her eagerness to find her way into his embraced and she quickly leaned her head way with a guilty grin. "Oops!" she said with a giggle. Her antlers had really grown into their full size over the last season or so and she was still learning where exactly their radius ended. Leaning into him like this, laughing about her silly antlers, she might have been able to completely forget that it wasn't just another day. She could almost forget the fresh scars on her neck. "I've missed you," she told him truthfully as she looked up at him adoringly in the way only a daddy's girl could. "I'm glad you're okay. Or, well... Getting better, at least." Perhaps he was here physically, but she wasn't certain about the other parts yet. The parts that needed to stay calm.

"Briar" | "Marigold"

I can't destroy what isn't there

The rash and often violent Warlord wasn’t always gentle, but his children saw more of that side of then anyone else. With great relief, he wrapped his arms about Briat, and brought her in close. Breathing in the scent of her, which was mixed with Asla and Art and the Hallows, as well as pack.

He laughed softly as she knocked him with her antlers. He was well accustomed to them - a thought that came with some sorrow - and knew how to move around them. Once he had adjusted himself so he wasn’t about to get skewered, he pulled her fully into his arms, wrapping himself around her and holding her close. “I’m here.” he agreed softly. “Tell me everything you’ve been getting up to. I want to hear it all.” it was good to hear her voice, grounding.

"Speech"

She was more than happy to lean into him as he pulled her close, resting her head against him with a content smile. She had missed this so much. She'd do whatever it took to keep her dad around. When he questioned her about what she had been up to, she struggled at first to think of anything to say. All she had really done since he had seen her last was hide, but she didn't want to say that to him. She didn't want to make him feel worse. Instead, she tried to spin things in a more positive way. "Well... I've been spending more time with Asla," she told him, which wasn't a lie. "I've been staying in her den so that's been nice. I don't think she's ever let us be around her this much before." She chuckled softly at the thought, remembering how much their older sister had avoided her and her siblings for the longest time. She actually liked Asla quite a lot though now that she was getting to know her better. She had a lot of the strength that Briar felt like she lacked.

"Of course I went to see Artorias and spent a few days there... I really like the castle. There's a tower way up at the top and you can see everything from up there. And we did some fighting practice and explored some around the near by lands since it's warmer now so exploring was more fun this time. Oh!" She grinned and lifted her front leg for her father to see the thin silver bangle that was studded with topaz gems that was dangling around her ankle. "Art gave me this for my birthday! Isn't it pretty?" She turned her leg side to side for a moment so the sun could catch on the glittering amber colored gems, her tail wagging against the ground.

She chuckled and put her leg down, obviously in better spirits now as she spoke about Artorias and her little vacation away from all of this. "I just got back a little bit ago and came right over to find you. I haven't even seen Marigold yet - I know she's going to be irritated with me for not taking her with me this time." The antlered fox had as much attitude as she did if not more, but that's kind of why she liked her companion. "I haven't broken the news to Marigold yet, but I don't know if I want to learn how to be a healer any more... I really like fighting, but healing doesn't really excite me as much. I saw Artorias' sister while I was there and she's really good at healing. I don't think I have the patience for it." She tipped her head inquisitively, adding, "Do you think we could go on some hunts sometime? I haven't really hunted much so I don't know if I'd like that more."

She could hear herself rambling, but she didn't really care. She smiled up at her father happily, just glad to have a calm moment with him for a little while.

"Briar" | "Marigold"

“She’s grown up a great deal this last year.” he said softly, thinking of Asla. in the last few days, she had grown up even more. His fault. But he was glad that she was warming to her younger siblings at last. That Briar had at least one older sibling around to look up to.

She mentioned Art and the castle, as he had expected. Then, then she mentioned what he had gotten her for her birthday. He looked to the bangle with the sound of blood roaring past his ears. He blinked a few times, trying to steady himself. One. Briar, Kotori, Aris, Gossy, Ophelia. One. “Do you think,” he asked softly. And this wasn’t a question he should be asking of the young girl, but he couldn’t catch himself from seeking her advice. “That we should have a small birthday party?” One. something good to celebrate among all the horror. Of course, for Sirius, it was a mark of Azure's second birthday, and he had forgotten that it was theirs as well. Yearlings now, and puppies no longer.

“I would love to take you hunting” he added in belatedly.


"Speech"

Briar watched his face when she was talking and noticed how his expression seemed to change when she mentioned her birthday gift and she couldn't really figure out why. Was it because Artorias gave her a gift? But that seemed kind of silly - Artorias was her friend and he was just being sweet. Although, she did think about how Artorias and his siblings and even Ulric's kids had gotten birthday gifts so... was her father realizing he hadn't given them anything? Did he... forget their birthday? That train of thought felt more likely as he quietly asked if they should have some kind of small birthday party, seeming very distracted as he asked.

She frowned a little, her request to go hunting with him at least momentarily forgotten. She wasn't completely sure what about it had derailed him so, but she hoped maybe she could pull him back to her. She wanted to keep his attention if at least for a moment longer. She reached up to press her nose to his cheek, giving him a sweet smile. "It's okay if you forgot," she told him gently, "There's been a lot of stuff going on." And that was putting it very, very lightly. Losing their mother had hit all of them pretty hard, but her father had been understandably crushed.

"I certainly won't say no to a birthday party, but I don't know how many will feel like celebrating," she added sadly, her ears flicking back. It was just incredibly unfortunate timing that all of this had fallen just on the cusp of summer. As much as she would normally love the attention and the idea of a party did sound nice, she didn't want it to feel forced either. She didn't want him to feel obligated to when their family had so recently been torn apart.

"Just spending time with you is good enough for me at least." Losing her mother, feeling like she might lose her father, feeling everyone be scattered apart by grief... It really put things into perspective for her and made her realize how precious they were. She'd forever live with the regret that she hadn't been closer with her mother and now it was too late.

"Briar" | "Marigold"

Her cold nose touched his cheek, and he leaned back slightly, pulling the tawny wolf in his arms with him. Holding her tight and close - but secure and just right, careful not to hurt her. It horrified him to reflect how much life had derailed. He wished they had woken up to their birthday, with their parents standing side by side, mischief in their eyes and the whole day planned.

Instead, the lot of them just had Sirius. Grumpy, forgetful, dangerous, Sirius.

“Perhaps… since you were born late into summer, we can give time for things to settle before we throw something.” that thought settled him. Her birthday might be a general ‘Summer’ but the timing of their actual birth had been later in the season then this. He had not missed it, not truly.

He shook his head to clear it, and found another smile for his sweet girl. “Then, perhaps we should go on a hunt now” Live in the moment, enjoy every moment he had with them. What else could he do?


"Speech"

She grinned when he pulled her up tighter against him, more than happy to enjoy his hugs after fearing him for what felt like ages. Even though it had only been a week or two - it was so hard to even keep track - it almost felt like a whole year had passed in that amount of time. It felt like she was coming home again after being away for a really, really long time. Briar eagerly nodded in agreement with the compromise he offered, suggesting that they have their birthday celebration later in the summer to give time for things to settle down and to better go along with when they were actually born later in the season. "That sounds great, Dad," she insisted, more than happy to have something to look forward after all this darkness.

When he suggested that they go on a hunt now she grinned even wider, her tail wagging behind her. "Yeah!" Then she wouldn't have to part ways with him just yet and she wouldn't have to leave her father alone. Of course, the last time she had tried to make sure that he wouldn't be alone it had ended badly, but this time was different. It was day time, they weren't sleeping. He was safer during the day, at least in her mind. She wiggled away from his grasp and gave her fur a shake before looking up at him with an excited grin. It felt good to have something to do, somewhere to go, something to work on. It kept her busy and kept her from worrying so much.

"Where should we go?" she asked, letting him lead the way and guide her for her first hunt beyond catching the occasional rabbit or some other small creature. She hadn't really even hunted with another wolf before so it was all going to be a new experience for her, but she was eager to learn.

"Briar" | "Marigold"