you let her go
06-07-2021, 06:44 PM
Lillith was a quiet young lady, she didn’t ask for much in life. She wanted her family close and never wanted to be a burden to them again. She needed them to know her worth, she couldn’t let them be like her mother, the woman she was worthless to. The women who had left her. The constant feat that her siblings and father would deem her a nuisance was always at the cusp of thought. She had to prove herself, she had to be strong and she had to show her worth. Lilith tried to hide her weakness and the deep seeded feeling of failure. Her sickness lasted for so long, she never felt like she caught up. Add her father’s trip around the world and the girl was a mess. She knew he was going to come back, he had told her as much, but every day drug on. She asked Ezra a million times how many more days until they came back.
She hadn’t really been sleeping, not peacefully. She was up every few hours, unable to fall back asleep. Sometimes, like tonight, with the moonlight pouring in the castle Lillith made her way to Ulric’s bed. The scent of him was still strongest here and Lil snuggled into the furs there to help herself feel closer to him. She was almost reassured that he would return. She just couldn’t help the voice at the back of her head that doubted. Doubted her worth to be returned to. The fear was without logic or reason. The fear stemming not from losing her father, but the mother that had so easily left her.
She hadn’t really been sleeping, not peacefully. She was up every few hours, unable to fall back asleep. Sometimes, like tonight, with the moonlight pouring in the castle Lillith made her way to Ulric’s bed. The scent of him was still strongest here and Lil snuggled into the furs there to help herself feel closer to him. She was almost reassured that he would return. She just couldn’t help the voice at the back of her head that doubted. Doubted her worth to be returned to. The fear was without logic or reason. The fear stemming not from losing her father, but the mother that had so easily left her.
06-08-2021, 03:37 PM
With Ulric gone, Eska had taken on a lot of responsibility. She made regular patrols of the lands and the castle. She hunted the summer herds that had settled on the plains. She kept an eye on things within the castle walls as well. The brindled woman was so busy that time seemed to fly by. That being said, she still sorely felt Ulric's absence. The man had become a permanent fixture in her life and she felt the need to do something nice for him.
Having found a band of traveling traders at the borders of the pack, Eska did a bit of haggling and came away with the perfect give for Ulric. She traded a freshly killed buck for the skin, but it was worth it. The Hallows could do without a bit of meat. With the trade being made, Eska took the giant skin back to the Hallows, leaving it in her room since it was closer to the door. There was still work to be done.
Later that evening, once the patrols were made and a few fat rabbits were added to the stores, Eska took the rolled and tied skin between her jaws and made her way up to the quarters that Uric's family shared. One silver dipped paw pushed the door to the man's bed chamber open and she moved inside. Surprisingly, there was someone there already. It didn't take much thought to realize that this was one of Ulric's children. One that she hadn't yet met. Placing the rolled fur at her paws, The woman's dark ears flicked forward. "Hello," she spoke plainly. "I've brought your father a surprise. Do you mind if I leave it here?" By asking permission, she was being courteous. Plus she was showing the girl that her opinion and wishes mattered.
06-09-2021, 01:27 PM
Lilith was just feeling herself fall back asleep when she heard claws on stone outside in the hallway. Dark ears perked and garnet gaze blinked back sleep as she looked up to the door as it swung open. For a moment she got excited that Ulric had made an early return. She was thankful she hadn’t lifted her head from her paws so the woman wouldn’t see the disappointment that crossed her features. Lilith had almost asked her father to take her along on the trip, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be without him for so long. She told herself to trust him, to know that he would come back to her.
Lil did lift her head when the woman spoke, a soft greeting at first after she lowered something to the ground. The yearling girl looked up to her curiously but there was a shyness to her that was difficult to shake off. The silver spotted girl shook her head, she didn’t mind a gift being left for her father, but it did bring up a whole slew of questions within the child’s mind. Who was this woman to bring her father surprises, was she as eager as Lil was to get him back to the Hallows?
”What did you bring him?” She asked sleepily. Her smaller form remaining curled in the plush furs of her father’s bed. Lilith could almost imagine that he was curled around her now, not that she enjoyed heavy affection like that. Ideally they would sit beside one another holding each other’s paw like he used to when she was very ill.
Lil did lift her head when the woman spoke, a soft greeting at first after she lowered something to the ground. The yearling girl looked up to her curiously but there was a shyness to her that was difficult to shake off. The silver spotted girl shook her head, she didn’t mind a gift being left for her father, but it did bring up a whole slew of questions within the child’s mind. Who was this woman to bring her father surprises, was she as eager as Lil was to get him back to the Hallows?
”What did you bring him?” She asked sleepily. Her smaller form remaining curled in the plush furs of her father’s bed. Lilith could almost imagine that he was curled around her now, not that she enjoyed heavy affection like that. Ideally they would sit beside one another holding each other’s paw like he used to when she was very ill.
06-15-2021, 04:15 PM
The sleepy girl's curiosity was captured and she asked what Eska had brought. The silvered woman motioned to the rolled fur and explained. "Your father and I enjoy going on picnics. I scented some traders near the border and traded them a freshly killed deer." Eska plucked at the ties holding the fur together. She unrolled the massive hide to show the girl. "A nice, plush musk ox fur, but the other side," she flipped the edge up as she explained, "Is oiled and worked so that moisture won't get through when you lay it on the ground."
Eska began to roll the hide again and, once it was all folded up, she tied it once more. Only then did she look back to the girl. "I'm Eska. And you are... Lillith?" She had met Jane and Lillith was the only other girl child, so it had to be her, right? "Your father has told me a lot about you and your siblings." Lillith had been ill for most of her life, she believed he'd said. Only now was the girl beginning to heal.
06-16-2021, 08:56 AM
Her question was answered, Lilith’s garnet gaze shifted to the folded gift as the woman explained herself. What the present was, where it came from, and the deeper meaning behind it. It was obvious that her father was spending time with this woman who looked so much like their once alpha. ”Waterproof?” She questioned softly, suddenly a whole lot more interested in the piece. The implications ad uses you could find for something that was water proof, or at the very least repelled water… Lilith wondered if it was so hard to make or find skins like this. Could someone in the pack potentially help her? The pelt was beautiful, she knew her dad was going to love it.
She tried not to think about how much time Ulric was going to spend with this woman. She couldn’t help but think about her mother, and how much had been stolen from her and her father when Azariah disappeared. Of course Lillith just wanted to see her dad happy, and if that meant welcoming someone into their family she was willing. She tried not to think about that Aranea woman and the sorrow she brought Ulric, and she prayed Eska would be everything he needed. More than her mother and much more than Aranea.
”I am, it’s nice to meet you.” She returned softly as Eska continued, telling her that Ulric had been vocal about her and her siblings. Which meant she likely knew about everything Lil had struggled with throughout her short life. Garnet gaze looked away from Eska ashamedly, she tried to think of anything positive her father could have told her. She was sick, and she was weak, that was all she could say for her life lived so far. ”I love him a lot,” Lilith admitted to the woman, bringing her ruby gaze back up to the golden eyed woman. ”I wouldn’t be here without him.” In more ways than one. She wasn’t incredibly healthy when she was born but after her mother left Lil’s illness truly took hold and weighed her down. If Ulric hadn’t been there day after day and night after night Lillith knew she wouldn’t have struggled through.
Lillith Adravendi
She tried not to think about how much time Ulric was going to spend with this woman. She couldn’t help but think about her mother, and how much had been stolen from her and her father when Azariah disappeared. Of course Lillith just wanted to see her dad happy, and if that meant welcoming someone into their family she was willing. She tried not to think about that Aranea woman and the sorrow she brought Ulric, and she prayed Eska would be everything he needed. More than her mother and much more than Aranea.
”I am, it’s nice to meet you.” She returned softly as Eska continued, telling her that Ulric had been vocal about her and her siblings. Which meant she likely knew about everything Lil had struggled with throughout her short life. Garnet gaze looked away from Eska ashamedly, she tried to think of anything positive her father could have told her. She was sick, and she was weak, that was all she could say for her life lived so far. ”I love him a lot,” Lilith admitted to the woman, bringing her ruby gaze back up to the golden eyed woman. ”I wouldn’t be here without him.” In more ways than one. She wasn’t incredibly healthy when she was born but after her mother left Lil’s illness truly took hold and weighed her down. If Ulric hadn’t been there day after day and night after night Lillith knew she wouldn’t have struggled through.
06-30-2021, 09:53 AM
The girl questioned the skin and Eska nodded, tying up the ties to hold the bundle together once more. She lifted it though and brought it towards Lillith, placing it before her and flipping the one edge so that she could see the oiled and worked underside. "It's a long process, I hear. I've never tried it myself, but now that I've seen this one, I think I could do it." Eska seated herself, her thick, striped tail curled around one hip. "Are you interested in learning? We could figure it out together." Perhaps it was a bit forward of her, but something about this pale child pulled her in. She wanted to see the girl smile. Wanted her to be happy.
A slightly dejected look crossed Lillith's face and Eska frowned. The girl said that she loved her father and that she wouldn't be here without him. Trying to lighten the mood, Eska gave a soft huff of laughter. "That makes two of us, though in different ways." Ulric had never spoken one negative word about Lillith other than to mention her poor health. That wasn't the girl's fault at all. "After my mother died, I was going to leave. I didn't have anywhere to go and your father asked me to stay. Without him, I'd probably still be out there wandering alone, so I'm incredibly thankful for him." Eska's gaze drifted, staring towards one moonlit window. "I think I love him." It was the first time that she admitted it aloud, but it felt right saying it to a girl who also loved Ulric.
In time, her gaze drifted back to the resting youngling. Dark ears swiveled forward as Eska's head tilted. "Would you like me to stay here with you? We could wait for him together." If that wasn't something that Lillith wanted, Eska wouldn't be offended. She could feel the loneliness in the girl though, so she felt the need to ask.
07-01-2021, 05:42 PM
Lilith nodded as Eska offered to perhaps try and figure out waterproofing together, she actually quite liked the sound of it. She didn’t know this woman but she could tell she had a good heart, she reminded her of the feeling Resin had. Safety and wisdom. It was nice, but more than that she could feel how much she cared for her father, getting him such a lovely gift, but also having that connection. She wouldn’t have been here right now had Ulric not offered her a purpose. He convinced her to carve her place here, and the reason was given. She loved him too.
The emotion she felt was fear and uncertainty at the words, but there was also a warmth that bubbled up in her belly and made her silver lips turn up into a grin. Silence would fall between them, Lilith wasn’t sure if she should say anything. She adored her father, and wanted him to be happy. She knew… she knew deep down in her heart that her mother was never coming back, and keeping that space in her heart reserved for her was neither productive or helpful.
Eska looked back to her sweetly, asking if she would like it if she remained here so that the two of them might await Ulric’s presence together. Lilith nodded sheepishly. She didn’t like close physical contact but she didn’t like to be alone either. ”I would like that,” she returned softly, looking up at Eska with tired garnet eyes. ”You won’t leave like…” She didn’t finish her question, unable to speak the names of the woman that had come and gone from her father’s life. She had averted her gaze, winding if she had been too forward.
Lillith Adravendi
The emotion she felt was fear and uncertainty at the words, but there was also a warmth that bubbled up in her belly and made her silver lips turn up into a grin. Silence would fall between them, Lilith wasn’t sure if she should say anything. She adored her father, and wanted him to be happy. She knew… she knew deep down in her heart that her mother was never coming back, and keeping that space in her heart reserved for her was neither productive or helpful.
Eska looked back to her sweetly, asking if she would like it if she remained here so that the two of them might await Ulric’s presence together. Lilith nodded sheepishly. She didn’t like close physical contact but she didn’t like to be alone either. ”I would like that,” she returned softly, looking up at Eska with tired garnet eyes. ”You won’t leave like…” She didn’t finish her question, unable to speak the names of the woman that had come and gone from her father’s life. She had averted her gaze, winding if she had been too forward.
07-15-2021, 02:20 PM
Lillith seemed like a pensive, almost timid girl. Eska could tell that there was a lot going on in the striped younglings mind as they conversed. That was good as long as she didn't let her inner monologue rule her. Eska had seen it in many wolves. They let their minds run wild and it ate them from the inside out. She didn't want that for this lovely young wolf. Perhaps with her presence in the girl's life... Ah, now she was getting ahead of herself.
When Lillith agreed to learn waterproofing with Eska, the silvered fae grinned and nodded. "You let me know when you're ready and we'll make a day of it. In the mean time, I'll ask around to see if anyone else has knowledge of waterproofing." It would be enjoyable to both learn and teach this young lady a new skill at the same time.
Eska had half expected Lillith to deny her offer to stay, but when it was accepted, the ash and obsidian woman nodded, took the parcel in her mouth once more, and moved forward. Giving the girl space, Eska sprawled on her side on the cool stone floor, the wrapped skin pulled up against her chest so that she could use it as a pillow. Lillith's words brought golden eyes widening ever so slightly. This poor child... All of them, really. They had all suffered. "No, Lillith. I'm here to stay. I promise." There was hard determination mixed with compassion in that gaze. She didn't want any of them to hurt anymore.
07-16-2021, 10:36 AM
Lillith truly was alone with her thoughts for far too often during the days length, she had much time alone to do so. Including tonight before Eska had appeared before her. The girl missed her father far more than she wanted to say, his presence was incredibly important to her everyday life. Not having him home was difficult. Eska seemed to feel the same, or at least it seemed like it as she made herself comfortable in his room with her.
The mottled woman went on about the waterskin, when she was ready they would learn together and Lillith took a lot of comfort for that fact. Eska had a very motherly feeling about her, something that Lil very much needed. She gave her permission for the older woman to remain here with her, the both of them could spend the night breathing in the subtle scent of Ulric and maybe have sweeter dreams because of it.
Eska paused when Lillith quietly asked for reassurance. She’d suffered through a lot, and wanted a warning if she should think twice about allowing herself to feel affection for Eska. The woman made a promise though, she was here to stay. Not like her mother and very much the opposite of Aranea. ”I’m glad.” She whispered softly, truly thankful for the answer. This might have been their first meeting, but Lil already felt herself connecting to Eska. They both loved Ulric and the girl could tell Eska cared deeply for her father. Lilith stretched her little silvery paws forward, almost touching Eska’s dark paws as the girl lowered her head to her arms, blinking her tired eyes. ”Thank you.”
Lillith Adravendi
The mottled woman went on about the waterskin, when she was ready they would learn together and Lillith took a lot of comfort for that fact. Eska had a very motherly feeling about her, something that Lil very much needed. She gave her permission for the older woman to remain here with her, the both of them could spend the night breathing in the subtle scent of Ulric and maybe have sweeter dreams because of it.
Eska paused when Lillith quietly asked for reassurance. She’d suffered through a lot, and wanted a warning if she should think twice about allowing herself to feel affection for Eska. The woman made a promise though, she was here to stay. Not like her mother and very much the opposite of Aranea. ”I’m glad.” She whispered softly, truly thankful for the answer. This might have been their first meeting, but Lil already felt herself connecting to Eska. They both loved Ulric and the girl could tell Eska cared deeply for her father. Lilith stretched her little silvery paws forward, almost touching Eska’s dark paws as the girl lowered her head to her arms, blinking her tired eyes. ”Thank you.”