Growing up, she had been aware of Lillith's sickness just from hearing the other healers speak about her and seeing them go to speak with Ulric and disappearing for bits of time into her room, but she had been too young and too inexperienced to help. By the time she fully came into her own as a healer Lillith was already on the mend so she never actually treated her herself. It was just one of those things that she heard around the castle, picking up from bits and pieces of conversations she heard in passing. A small benefit that came from being so quiet and so observant.

When Ezra came to speak with her she was surprised since she couldn't remember a time when she had actually spoken to the boy directly, but when he began to explain how Lillith had collapsed during their patrol she understood and promised to go see Lillith after the girl had a few moments to rest. Following through on that promise, she loaded up her bag with some supplies and then went to Lillith's room later in the day, waiting till several hours after Ezra had spoken to her. It was late afternoon, the sun just beginning to sink toward the horizon, but the sky hadn't begun to darken with the colors of a sunset just yet.

She gently knocked on Lillith's door before pushing it open just enough to peek "Lillith?" she asked, her mint and lavender gaze seeking out the silver and white young woman. "I just came to check on you... How are you feeling?"

Gwynevere | Eilwen

Mostly it was disappointment Lillith struggled with, disappointment in herself that she was so weak and incapable. If she was a normal sister Lillith could have gone on a patrol with Ezra with no problem. As it was she barely managed the tiny amount of excitement they were given. She knew Ez worried about her, how could he not? He had to carry her back up here to her room. He was kind to her and he obviously worried but all Lil wanted was for him to not have to. He didn’t deserve the burden that she was, and if he dropped her Lil wouldn’t blame him. She was scared of losing him though, of losing him and especially losing her father. Lilith could only hope she would get better before they decided she wasn’t worth the effort anymore.

The yearling hadn’t taken long to fall back asleep after her brother left her. She wallowed in her difficult emotions and dreamt of disappointments. She was struggling through a nightmare, her mother’s face haunted her throughout. She startled awake when Gwyn’s voice reached her dappled ears. She missed the knock altogether she was so deep in sleep. Ruby red eyes blinked open as she tried to shake off the lingering effects of her dream.

”Hi Gwynevere.” She said softly as she shook off the dream and looked up to the healer as she tried to hide her deeper emotion. ”Doing better after a nap.” She told her quietly, not sure if there would be much for Gwyn to do for her. She sat up so Gwyn could better look at her if she wanted to check her over.

Lillith Adravendi

Gwynevere waited till Lillith sat up, listening as she admitted that she was feeling better after her nap, and nodding with understanding. "I'm glad," she said as she stepped into the room, giving the other girl a soft smile. "Since I'm here I'll just give you a quick check up, alright? Just to make sure." She slid her bag of supplies off and sat it next to the bed before she started examining Lillith, starting with her front legs and taking one at a time to bend and flex the joints and check her muscles. "It's crazy how many saber cats have been around this season," she commented just to make conversation even though small talk wasn't really her strong suit. At least it was topical since the whole mess was caused by a saber cat to begin with.

She look a moment to check Lillith's eyes and ears, moving around her a bit to press her ear to the girl's chest to listen to her heart beat, holding her breath so she wouldn't miss any of the beats. It took a few minutes, but her basic physical exam came up clean and she stepped back with another small smile. "You seem to be all in one piece to me. If anything you're just missing some muscle mass that I would expect someone our age to have, but that will come with time. Just take it easy for today and rest up." She dug through her bag for a moment before pulling out some ginseng root she had found on a scavenging trip around Lazuli falls.

"Whenever you're really low on energy you could try taking some of this. It's ginseng root," she told her after breaking off a pice for her. "Only take a little at a time though. It's pretty potent. Maybe crush it up and mix it with some water instead of eating it straight. It helps with energy and appetite. If you eat too much or too often it'll cause headaches and nausea so just use as needed. Might be helpful just getting you up and moving while you continue recovering though."

Gwynevere | Eilwen

Lilith wouldn’t, and felt like she couldn’t, deny Gwyn her check up on her. She did as was told and allowed the healer close as she looked her over, and poked and prodded minimally. Lilith didn’t say anything to the healer’s comment about the saber cats, she was no good at small talk either. The girl was pretty quiet as Gwyn worked, and the result was that only a few minutes in and she was pulling away, seemingly satisfied with her findings. There wasn’t much going on besides exhaustion. She should be fine if she just took it easy and rested. This was good news, but Lillith didn’t appreciate it. This wasn’t who she was supposed to be. If she hadn’t ever gotten sick Gwyn wouldn’t have to be here right now working on her. She would be strong and fit and just as capable as her siblings.

Gwyn didn’t stop there though, and Lillith couldn’t help showing her interest in perked dappled ears as she spoke about an herb she had. Garnet gaze blinked in surprise at the gift. This could help her exponentially getting her back out into the pack. Taken in low doses of course, she could exert herself more each day and hopefully keep building herself up. ”thank you,” She offered with genuine gratitude. Anything to help return her or get her to normal. Sometimes she wondered, if her mother hadn’t left her would she have been so sick?

”Gwynevere?” She asked softly, hesitating as she fidgeted with the ginseng in her paw. ”Do you think i’ll ever catch up? Will I be normal someday?” Sometimes it didn’t feel like she would ever be rid of this curse.

Lillith Adravendi

Gwynevere smiled softly and nodded to Lillith's thanks. She never really felt like she needed or wanted thanks for the things she did as a healer. It just felt like what she was supposed to be doing and how she contributed for her pack members since she refused to fight and she wasn't as skilled at hunting as most of her siblings. Where she lacked in other areas she tried to make up for with her experience in healing. Either way, it was still nice when she was thanked and she appreciated the gratitude that Lillith seemed to have at the small gesture.

She was about to get up to leave, feeling as if her job here was done, when Lillith caught her attention again, asking her if she would ever catch up to the "normal" that the other wolves her age were at. Gwynevere was tempted to go the easy route of just assuring and calming, insisting that it just took time and she'd get there some day. But looking at Lillith now she was sure that everyone had been doing that for her entire life. Knowing Ulric at least, she was sure that the man would say and do anything to make his daughter feel better, even if it was temporary.

Gwyn hesitated, looking at Lillith with a serious, but sympathetic look. "Honestly?" she asked, waiting for Lillith to confirm before she went on, "I'm not sure. It won't be easy and it's possible you may never have the full stamina that someone else has. There are some things you can do to help, like taking the ginseng root when you need it, eating well, getting plenty of rest, drinking plenty of water... All of that will help and it will prevent you from getting sick again, but it will still probably be a long time before you really get to the point of being in that normal range." She didn't like having to be the bearer of bad news, but she felt like the girl deserved some honesty from someone.

"There's still plenty you can do while you're recovering, you know," she added, giving Lillith an encouraging smile. "If you have any interest in being a healer I'd be happy to teach you. Come by the infirmary, I'll give you some lessons on the basics and see if you like it." Healing was something that didn't usually require a lot of muscle or stamina so while she was building up muscle she could also be building her knowledge of other things if she was interested.

Gwynevere | Eilwen

Gwyn was just about to leave, she never really had to stop in the first place but Lillith was grateful and she said as much. However, there was one question she wasn’t so sure about. Something she both did and didn’t want the answer to. The healer fixed her with a serious expression, asking if Lil wanted her honesty. The yearling girl nodded softly, bracing herself as Gwyn went on to explain her opinion. The young woman offered her thoughts, no one could know for certain what the future held but Gwynevere gave her the best guess that she had. As honestly as she could.

Lillith looked away as the likely diagnosis was given, this illness could affect her whole life, she might never be as capable as her siblings. There were things she could do to mitigate the damages, but it would be a long time until she reached any kind of normalcy. The truth did hurt, more than Lil was expecting. She swallowed hard and nodded, trying to bring her gaze back up to Gwyn as she bit back her tears and her endless frustration. She hated this, Lilith despised that she ever got sick to begin with, and knowing the consequences would likely stay with her for the rest of her days was a hard pill to swallow.

Of course Gwyn tried to offer up more solutions, like the potential to learn healing. She wouldn’t have to put forth very much physical assertion if she put her efforts into healing. Lillith hated that she couldn’t fully follow her passion, that because she had limitations she needed to be useful elsewhere. ”That’s really nice of you, Gwyn.” She offered softly, still doing her best to control her emotions. She could cry once Gwynevere was gone, no one should have to see her frustrated tears. ”I’ll come see you.” She promised, but obviously wouldn’t be moving much the rest of the day.

Lillith Adravendi