what if i could do better
06-23-2021, 05:17 AM
Today was a good day, the morning was bright and Lillith was feel really good today. She had a good sleep, there were no nightmares, and she was feeling refreshed as she slipped out of her room and headed towards the courtyard. Most mornings were the same, she would wake up and settle her fur from the night before. She’d make her bed from the crazy way she slept and then it was out the door to take advantage of her early morning energy. By mid day she would start slowing down and depending on her activity that morning would often look forward to a nao during the hottest part of the day.
For now her delicate silver paws carried her to the grassy grounds in the courtyard of the castle. Her bright ruby eyes sparkled in the new sunlight and the girl was, for the moment, in peak condition. She was energetic, she was holding her head high and her striped tail wagged at her hips. She looked like she was in her element, she was comfortable and confident. For now she didn’t have to worry about how sick she was.
She got into her head that she needed to prove herself to her brother. Ezra wanted to help her in the greenhouse but that wasn’t what she wanted to do. She wanted to patrol with Ezra and show him she was really getting stronger, that she could handle the same stresses that he could. Maybe she was ignoring the truth and would get in trouble because of it but for now she could ignore that fact as she called out for her sibling.
Lillith Adravendi
For now her delicate silver paws carried her to the grassy grounds in the courtyard of the castle. Her bright ruby eyes sparkled in the new sunlight and the girl was, for the moment, in peak condition. She was energetic, she was holding her head high and her striped tail wagged at her hips. She looked like she was in her element, she was comfortable and confident. For now she didn’t have to worry about how sick she was.
She got into her head that she needed to prove herself to her brother. Ezra wanted to help her in the greenhouse but that wasn’t what she wanted to do. She wanted to patrol with Ezra and show him she was really getting stronger, that she could handle the same stresses that he could. Maybe she was ignoring the truth and would get in trouble because of it but for now she could ignore that fact as she called out for her sibling.
06-27-2021, 03:59 PM
Getting back on his feet after getting hurt fighting that saber cat had been a lot more difficult than he wanted to really admit. The bite itself scabbed over and began to heal pretty quickly and now had begun to scar and mend thanks to Syanna and Gwynevere, but the whole fractured rib thing had been another story. Having something that hurt every time he breathed made doing pretty much anything more difficult. Gwynevere gave him pain relieving herbs to make it easier, but it still took several weeks for him to even feel like he could get up and walk around and even just do a short patrol. He was getting tired of eating bitter herbs though and he was really getting tired of laying around inside the castle.
He was out in the courtyard, just walking around the grassy area to get himself moving, even if it was just around a small area, when he heard his sister's howl. His ears perked with surprise, but a smile pulled at his lips all the same and he went to find her immediately, rounding a corner past one of the castle turrets and spotting her lightly brindled form. "Hey, Lil!" he called as he walked over to her, moving a bit more slowly than he normally would have. He normally moved everywhere at a pretty brisk trot with long strides, but not so much these days. He was too interested to see what his smaller sister had in mind today though to not answer her call.
"What are you up to?" he asked as he reached her, being careful to not wince or react so he wouldn't worry her. The surface wound was healed enough now that he didn't have to wear a bandage now so unless someone happened to look right at his side and notice the scar peaking through his speckled, russet fur you might not even know he had been hurt. She had more than enough of her own issues to think about to start worrying about him too.
06-29-2021, 10:40 AM
Ezra didn’t take long to find her and Lil didn’t hesitate to allow a smile to light up her expression. She didn’t notice how slow he moved nor did she have any idea about the attack on him. He made his way towards her but Lillith was swift to help close the distance between them before he asked why she called for him. He hadn’t come to her yet for greenhouse duty so she was going to come to him for patrol duty. ”Hello, Ezra.” She greeted in return, her smile softening as she stood beside him.
”I want to take you on patrol.” She insisted as he asked. The last one she had over exerted herself, but it wouldn’t be so today. Lilith was well rested and at the top of her game. When she started to feel tired Lillith would have her ginseng to fall back on. Lil was working towards gaining strength. This time she was going to show him. She wasn’t a fragile child anymore. She was just as capable as her brother. ”Gotta start pulling my weight.” She added determinedly.
Lillith Adravendi
”I want to take you on patrol.” She insisted as he asked. The last one she had over exerted herself, but it wouldn’t be so today. Lilith was well rested and at the top of her game. When she started to feel tired Lillith would have her ginseng to fall back on. Lil was working towards gaining strength. This time she was going to show him. She wasn’t a fragile child anymore. She was just as capable as her brother. ”Gotta start pulling my weight.” She added determinedly.
07-01-2021, 01:14 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-01-2021, 01:15 PM by Ezra. Edited 1 time in total.)
Ezra's brows lifted with surprise when Lillith insisted that she wanted to take him on a patrol, a pleased grin pulling across his lips. He could tell how much more determined she was today and he was proud of her. He knew how easy it could be to just fall into a "woe is me" kind of mentality after the set back she had with him the last time they went on a patrol, but she seemed ready to just jump back into the thick of things and that made him really happy to see. He chuckled softly and dipped his head down to give her cheek a playful bump of his nose. "Alright! Lets go patrol then," he replied, silently wishing he had the heart to tell her no as his side protested the decision. At least he had taken some of the pain reliving meds that Syanna prepared for him that morning so he wasn't in as much pain as he could have been and he needed to get back on his feet as much as she did.
"Lead the way!" She said she wanted to take him on a patrol instead of the other way around so he gave her free rein to decide their path. For once he was happy that his sister was so much shorter than he was and he had to take slower strides to stay at her side and not accidentally leave her behind. They were able to move at a pretty steady pace without needing to strain too much. Now he just had to hope they wouldn't run into anything crazy like another saber cat or something. "I'm really happy you picked me to patrol with you," he told her, shooting her a toothy grin. "I like seeing you out and about like this."
07-02-2021, 06:26 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-02-2021, 06:26 AM by Lillith. Edited 1 time in total.)
Being set back was becoming a staple in her life, there didn’t feel like there was any progress only disappointment. Still, she woke up and tried again day after day because what was the point of wasting away. She would rather make the attempt and fail than sit around like a lump on a log. Of course that led the way for her frustrated thoughts to truly take hold. Despite it all she was here, and Ezra had answered her call. He nuzzled her lightly and Lillith begrudgingly accepted the affection as he took her up on her offer. She was blind to his stiff movements and how slow he was taking everything, mostly she chalked it up to him going easy on her.
That thought was solidified as he asked her to lead the way. Of course she should lead, she had been the one to bring him here after all. Lilith tried to hold her head proudly as she grinned at him, eager to be the one leading and showing him that she wasn’t some invalid who couldn’t even bark at a cat without falling victim to her weakness. She took the lead, almost prancing as Ezra followed her, just a step behind. Normally she could hardly keep up with his long stride, but they managed a good pace. Lil’s silvery tail wagged at her hips as she bounced in her stride.
”Of course I picked you!” She teased him lightly, looking back over her shoulder at her brother teasingly. ”I couldn’t let you relax in the greenhouse.” She told him, hinting at their short conversation when he carried her back from their last patrol. ”You act like I’m always in my room.” She spoke a little quieter, knowing it was meant to be a compliment but it kind of hurt her. She tried really hard not to be in her room all the time, she didn’t want to be but a lot of the time she didn’t have a choice.
Lillith Adravendi
That thought was solidified as he asked her to lead the way. Of course she should lead, she had been the one to bring him here after all. Lilith tried to hold her head proudly as she grinned at him, eager to be the one leading and showing him that she wasn’t some invalid who couldn’t even bark at a cat without falling victim to her weakness. She took the lead, almost prancing as Ezra followed her, just a step behind. Normally she could hardly keep up with his long stride, but they managed a good pace. Lil’s silvery tail wagged at her hips as she bounced in her stride.
”Of course I picked you!” She teased him lightly, looking back over her shoulder at her brother teasingly. ”I couldn’t let you relax in the greenhouse.” She told him, hinting at their short conversation when he carried her back from their last patrol. ”You act like I’m always in my room.” She spoke a little quieter, knowing it was meant to be a compliment but it kind of hurt her. She tried really hard not to be in her room all the time, she didn’t want to be but a lot of the time she didn’t have a choice.
07-03-2021, 01:56 PM
He chuckled when she commented about how she couldn't let him relax in the greenhouse - even though that's probably what he should have been doing. But when she made a softer comment about he acted like she was always in her room, his smile faded a little bit. His ears flicked, noticing from the change in her demeanor that he had hurt her feelings. "Hey, I'm sorry, Lil," he said, giving her shoulder a gentle bump with his head. "I didn't mean it like that. Just... I'm just happy that you're better. That's all." For so much of their lives she had been bed ridden and not even able to get up so to see her bouncing and prancing through a patrol really warmed his heart. She still had bad days, of course, but he loved his sister and seeing her happy made him happy. He didn't mean to make her upset over it.
"So when do I get to start doing spars and stuff with you, huh?" he asked, pulling a grin back to his lips as he tried to tease her and bring back her lighter mood. "I can help teach you! That'd be fun! I've been training with Artorias, but I haven't gotten to try teaching anybody yet." He didn't even know if he'd be any good at teaching, but Artorias was a really good teacher so hopefully he could go off of some of their lessons for ideas. Maybe Art wouldn't mind giving him some tips for how to put together good fighting lessons too. Sure, he could have just sent her to Artorias, but he was invested in seeing his sister do well and he wanted to help!
07-05-2021, 04:37 AM
Lilith really tried not to let everything get to her but she couldn't help it sometimes. Being sick really held her back physically, socially, mentally… She felt like she would forever be placed in catch up mode. Which she likely would be for most of her life, the year of life she experienced the majority of it was spent tucked away in her room just praying she would make it through the fevers and the pain. Now she was still praying but she made it through the point where she wouldn’t be taken unexpectedly in the night. She was still far too often den bound, but even Ezra hadn’t meant the words like she took them. Her brother apologize, he hadn’t meant it to be a reminder of her weakness. He was like her, just happy that she was out and about.
”It’s okay,” she returned softly, it really was she didn’t hold his words against him. ”I’m glad I’m out too.” She gave him a grin from over her shoulder. Ezra quickly averted the conversation to something she was eager to explore. Lilith wanted to be like her big brother, he was an incredible fighter, he was healthy, no one was constantly asking if he was okay. ”I’d spar with you, if you think you can take it.” She teased him softly as her silvery paws continued onward over the border path. Are you sure it shouldn’t be me teaching you?” She joked with him amusedly. They both knew that Ezra was the more experienced and talented fighter.
Lillith Adravendi
”It’s okay,” she returned softly, it really was she didn’t hold his words against him. ”I’m glad I’m out too.” She gave him a grin from over her shoulder. Ezra quickly averted the conversation to something she was eager to explore. Lilith wanted to be like her big brother, he was an incredible fighter, he was healthy, no one was constantly asking if he was okay. ”I’d spar with you, if you think you can take it.” She teased him softly as her silvery paws continued onward over the border path. Are you sure it shouldn’t be me teaching you?” She joked with him amusedly. They both knew that Ezra was the more experienced and talented fighter.
07-05-2021, 04:48 PM
Ezra was glad when he got a grin from Lillith, giving her one in return. He felt like she had more than enough reasons to be upset without him making things worse and he tried his best to keep her spirits up when he could, but he also knew he was a hopeless case when it came to socializing or how he talked to others. He had gotten more confident in his abilities to fight and hunt lately, but he certainly didn't feel like he took after his father in how well spoken he was. He let it drop though when she said that she was glad to be out too, glad that he hadn't made things worse somehow with his apology. He didn't feel very close to any of his siblings, but the more he spent time with Lillith they closer he felt to her. He didn't want that trajectory to change any time soon.
He laughed lightly at her teasing, his tail wagging gently as they continued on through their patrol, occasionally letting his gaze sweep over the land beyond the border just in case. "Oh man, I don't know if I could handle that kind of raw talent," he joked in return, shooting her a toothy grin in response. "Maybe you should be teaching me! I'm sure you'd be more fun to learn from than Art." Art was a pretty good teacher, he had to admit, but the Baron was very strict in his training and studies so he was all business when it came to anything relating to fighting. Now that he was more skilled and could hold his own he felt like they could have more fun with it, but he'd never forget that first lesson they had when Art ended up whacking him across the shins with a wooden sword. He still could feel the ache from the bruises he had for the weeks following that lesson!
07-06-2021, 02:59 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-06-2021, 02:59 PM by Lillith. Edited 1 time in total.)
Lil had many reasons to feel sorry for herself, far more than any other wolf her age, but here she was smiling with her brother. Ulric was the one she was closest to, no questions asked. Her father spent more time with her than she liked to admit, through trials she didn’t like to remember. Her siblings had always been somewhat distant, but she would never blame their younger selves when their sister was hardly a bump in a bed in some room away from them. Ezra was the one who made the most effort to support and grow closer to her. Lilith would always be thankful for that. Knowing she had her big brother looking out for her helped her to not feel quite so helpless. He wanted to be here for her, no matter what it was she needed help with. While she hated to ask, she knew that she could.
Ezra laughed with her when she teased him in return and she grinned over her shoulder at him. Lilith was the first to criticize herself and divert credit especially when it was unduly given to her. Teasing her brother like this was fun though. ”Imagine what it would be like if I never got sick.” She offered quietly in return as they continued onward, easily slipping back into her habits. Getting her thoughts away from her disability was hard. Even harder was trying to even joke that she had some kind of talent. ”I want to teach you,” she said with quite a bit more brightness as she realized how down she was getting and how much Ezra was trying to keep her spirits up.
Lillith Adravendi
Ezra laughed with her when she teased him in return and she grinned over her shoulder at him. Lilith was the first to criticize herself and divert credit especially when it was unduly given to her. Teasing her brother like this was fun though. ”Imagine what it would be like if I never got sick.” She offered quietly in return as they continued onward, easily slipping back into her habits. Getting her thoughts away from her disability was hard. Even harder was trying to even joke that she had some kind of talent. ”I want to teach you,” she said with quite a bit more brightness as she realized how down she was getting and how much Ezra was trying to keep her spirits up.
07-10-2021, 03:14 PM
Ezra's grin slipped into a softer smile when she posed the thought of imagining how things would be if she had never been sick. For a moment he really wished he could have traded places with her. She was so smart and kind and way more likable than he thought he'd ever be. He could only imagine how she could have been if the had the physical strength and wellness to go along with her magnetic personality. If he could have turned back time to trade places with her, let him be the one that was sick so that she could flourish, he absolutely would, but that wasn't an option he had. He could just try to comfort and support her where he could and help her get stronger while she began to spread her wings more and more. He was happy that he got to do that with her, he just wished there was more he could do. "I want you to teach me too," he agreed with a nod, giving her a brighter smile in return.
A noise from somewhere beyond the tree line they were walking past drew his attention and even though he didn't stop walking he did look at the trees cautiously for a moment. He couldn't tell if it was just a flock of birds taking off from the trees or something larger, but it reminded him of the fact that he really shouldn't be finding any trouble right now. He thought about Syanna's warning that his rib could have punctured something more vital if it got any worse and fully broke instead of just fracturing and it made him a bit nervous. It was an odd emotion for him considering how headstrong and reckless he tended to be, but something about knowing that he had to keep being here for Lillith and knowing that he had Syanna here now too made him want to be at least a little more careful. He didn't think either of them would ever forgive him if he did something to put himself into real danger... again.
"Lets start heading back," he suggested with a nod toward the castle, giving Lillith another smile as he tried to play it off and continued to try and hide that he was technically still injured. "I just remembered I never had breakfast this morning so I could go for something to eat!"
07-10-2021, 05:09 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-10-2021, 05:10 PM by Lillith. Edited 1 time in total.)
Thinking about what might have been was probably one of the worst thoughts she could have. Exploring her deepest desires, of being whole and unburdened… Some of her most magical dreams were of her life untouched by the illness. Lillith would never wish this life on anyone, especially not her brother. Even if they could trade places she wasn’t certain she wanted to. He was big and brave and everything she needed him to bed. Lil couldn’t see him as anyone besides her goofy older brother. Ezra echoes her sentiments, and while she wanted to teach him there wasn’t much she thought that she could teach him. He knew so much more than she when it came to fighting. Maybe someday.
Lil followed Ezra’s gaze but she didn’t see anything of note. Honestly she didn’t particularly want to find anything exciting on this trip, she was enjoying her walk with her brother and didn’t want to experience a repeat of last time. Garnet gaze looked back to Ezra as he mentioned making their return to the castle. He didn’t reveal anything in his voice but Lillith felt suspicious of his sudden desire. Not that she would say anything.
”I like the sound of breakfast.” She returned softly, glazing towards the trees briefly before turning around, placing herself at his shoulder.
Lillith Adravendi
Lil followed Ezra’s gaze but she didn’t see anything of note. Honestly she didn’t particularly want to find anything exciting on this trip, she was enjoying her walk with her brother and didn’t want to experience a repeat of last time. Garnet gaze looked back to Ezra as he mentioned making their return to the castle. He didn’t reveal anything in his voice but Lillith felt suspicious of his sudden desire. Not that she would say anything.
”I like the sound of breakfast.” She returned softly, glazing towards the trees briefly before turning around, placing herself at his shoulder.