oh making bad decisions
08-21-2021, 05:14 PM
If there was one last blessing she was given it was the gentle tide and waves that returned her to the island’s beach. The storm was over, but she had been washed out after the river god left her there on the sand. Like he had caused the currents to cradle her as they carried her home. The truth was far more sinister, but Siren wouldn’t have accepted it if she had known or not. The sun was rising, Siren’s thin form was splayed out on the beach, very nearly drowned. The events of the previous evening and night playing every time her body throbbed. As the sun began to throw color into the sky she wished that the sea had taken her, but she knew she must be preserved. Her task was far from over.
Still, she didn’t think she could move, she couldn’t even lift her head without her vision swimming. She couldn’t call for anyone, her throat burned from the saltwater she’d unintentionally inhaled. After a few failed attempts to lift herself to her paws, Oxx was right she really couldn’t walk, Siren slumped back down into the sand. Her head on her paws as she suffered vertigo, with a pained groan she lay back on her side and pressed her face into the sand, wishing it would all go away. The ache, the pain, the guilt of bearing this consequence of her decision.
"Speech"
Still, she didn’t think she could move, she couldn’t even lift her head without her vision swimming. She couldn’t call for anyone, her throat burned from the saltwater she’d unintentionally inhaled. After a few failed attempts to lift herself to her paws, Oxx was right she really couldn’t walk, Siren slumped back down into the sand. Her head on her paws as she suffered vertigo, with a pained groan she lay back on her side and pressed her face into the sand, wishing it would all go away. The ache, the pain, the guilt of bearing this consequence of her decision.
08-21-2021, 06:01 PM
Dalila fretted and fussed around the den for most of the night, pacing back and forth as darkness fell and Siren was still nowhere to be seen. It wasn't entirely unusual for Siren to go off on her own for a time to visit the deer or get a drink or go to the beach, but she was never gone for more than a couple hours at a time. She had gone looking for Siren after a while, scouring the island for her. She checked all around the area the deer were kept, she checked the den that Chimera kept with Ali and Viper, she looked all through the trees and along the beach, but she was nowhere to be found. For a while she tried to stay calm, lingering around their den and busying herself with things while she desperately tried not to worry, but it was inevitable.
She barely slept that night, only drifting off when she got too tired to stay awake. As soon as the sun began to rise she was out looking for the delicate woman again. It never occurred to her that she might leave the island, but as she was strongly considering at least going across into Ashen's main territory to look for her and ask around. It just wasn't like her princess to disappear like this and the longer she was gone the more Dalila worried. She was trotting along the beach when she saw a shape on the sand ahead of her and after a few moments of squinting against the sun she made out the small, familiar shape of her lover and her heart leapt into her throat.
"Siren!" she gasped as she darted forward, kicking up sand in her mad scramble to get down the beach to where Siren was laying, almost tripping over her own paws to skid to a stop beside her. "Siren! Siren, are you okay?" she questioned between panting breaths, whining softly with worry as she started to gently rest Siren's head across her forelegs and pull her protectively into her chest, unsure of how badly she was injured so not wanting to move her much just yet.
08-21-2021, 06:26 PM
Siren was contemplating nonexistence when she heard her name from sweet lips. Dalila was coming to save her. A soft whine filled her lips, but she didn’t move. She couldn’t, not without feeling sick from the vertigo. The woman was with her in a moment, her arms around her as she lifted her to her chest with a soft whine. Siren groaned and started to cry at the same time, overwhelmed by it all, she’d suppressed what happened to her in the moment but she felt it heavy on her now. She cried into Dalila’s mottled fur, clinging to her as she shed tears from trauma and pain.
She debated about lying to Dalila, telling her she got swept out in the storm last night. It wasn’t fully a lie, but it also wouldn’t account for the pregnancy she would carry. She survived the night with a water demon, she had no doubt what the result was. It was her duty to protect and bear them, she would need help to figure out how to keep Chimera from killing them. Still in pain from the process, Siren already felt possessive of what Tiberius left with her.
"I’m not okay,” she whined softly in response as she buried her features into Dalila’s fur and tried so hard to keep the world from spinning around her. "Take me home, please.” She begged quietly, but remaining motionless against Dalila. She would hesitate making her decision, but knew she deserved the truth. The scent of what happened had long been taken by the sea, but the lingering effects were more obvious.
"Siren Primrose Klein"
She debated about lying to Dalila, telling her she got swept out in the storm last night. It wasn’t fully a lie, but it also wouldn’t account for the pregnancy she would carry. She survived the night with a water demon, she had no doubt what the result was. It was her duty to protect and bear them, she would need help to figure out how to keep Chimera from killing them. Still in pain from the process, Siren already felt possessive of what Tiberius left with her.
"I’m not okay,” she whined softly in response as she buried her features into Dalila’s fur and tried so hard to keep the world from spinning around her. "Take me home, please.” She begged quietly, but remaining motionless against Dalila. She would hesitate making her decision, but knew she deserved the truth. The scent of what happened had long been taken by the sea, but the lingering effects were more obvious.
08-21-2021, 06:42 PM
As Siren clung to her and cried with a pained groan that made her panic flare to an impossible height she held Siren in return, holding her tightly and trying to just be grateful that she had returned to her in one way or another. Her heart hurt for her princess, her mind racing as she tried to figure out what could have happened and failed. She tucked her head down over Siren's as the small woman cried into her fur, leaving gentle licks around her ears as she began to clean away some of the salt and sand that clung to her. Her ears perked at the request to take her home and Dalila gave a small nod, saying softly, "Of course, my love. Of course." Gently untangling herself from Siren's grasp for a moment, she oh so carefully lifted her battered form onto her back, waiting till she had a good grasp around her neck before she started to carry her back to the den, small tears of stress and relief pulling at her own gaze as she walked.
She went slowly and carefully so that Siren wouldn't be rocked around too harshly and carried her back to their den, bringing her lady to the large bed and resting her carefully upon it. It felt like if she moved too suddenly then Siren might break, as if she was the most delicate and fragile piece of the most precious substance in the world. Once Siren was settled on their bed she hurried and got a bowl and filled it with fresh water, placing it next to her as she shifted her worry into needing to do anything she could think of to care for her. "My lady... what happened?" she asked as she started tracing her paws over Siren's back, sides, and forelegs - carefully, oh so carefully - to make sure nothing was broken and there was no external injuries to mend.
08-21-2021, 07:31 PM
Dalila held her in tandem, grooming the backs of her ears as she tried to understand what she had found, why she hadn’t come home last night. The thought easily would have caused more tears but Siren was already dehydrated and cried less and less but she still felt the emotions heavy against her eyes. The motions were rhythmic and helped to stabilize the girl but more than anything she wanted to be home in her bed. Dalila catered to her will and oh so carefully carried her to the den. Siren was jostled as much as was expected, but her aches were not aggravated.
Siren sunk into the bed, most of the sand long gone from her pelt. She curled in on herself, pain radiated outward and she grit her teeth in the aftermath. She was left alone for only a moment as Dalila brought her some fresh water, something she sorely needed. Siren lifted her head, still feeling dizzy but better now she was in the dark of the den. The girl drank deeply from the vessel, very nearly finishing all that was offered as Dalila asked her again what happened.
The woman was already doing her examination, starting at the front of her. Tiberius had been kind in that he had not broken her skin, there was no open wound to be found. All of her injury was much deeper, though Dalila had the skill to realize even if Siren said nothing. "I was summoned by a water spirit.” She told her softly, never really knowing what Dalila’s experience with the other world was like. "He..” she was reminded of when Dalila told her that Chimera had had his way with her. Was this how Dalila had felt then? Emotions boiled up again as she stuck on her words she couldn’t bring herself to say what she let him do to her. He was a powerful water demon, and she still felt guilt and shame. She should have never left the island.
"Siren Primrose Klein"
Siren sunk into the bed, most of the sand long gone from her pelt. She curled in on herself, pain radiated outward and she grit her teeth in the aftermath. She was left alone for only a moment as Dalila brought her some fresh water, something she sorely needed. Siren lifted her head, still feeling dizzy but better now she was in the dark of the den. The girl drank deeply from the vessel, very nearly finishing all that was offered as Dalila asked her again what happened.
The woman was already doing her examination, starting at the front of her. Tiberius had been kind in that he had not broken her skin, there was no open wound to be found. All of her injury was much deeper, though Dalila had the skill to realize even if Siren said nothing. "I was summoned by a water spirit.” She told her softly, never really knowing what Dalila’s experience with the other world was like. "He..” she was reminded of when Dalila told her that Chimera had had his way with her. Was this how Dalila had felt then? Emotions boiled up again as she stuck on her words she couldn’t bring herself to say what she let him do to her. He was a powerful water demon, and she still felt guilt and shame. She should have never left the island.
08-21-2021, 08:22 PM
Dalila glanced up at Siren as she began to speak while her paws continued to examine her, carefully feeling and testing along the back of her neck, around her shoulders, down her legs, and along her back. She had no idea what to expect as she examined Siren considering the fact that she had found her washed up on the shore so she didn't want to take any chances with missing something that might need to be treated. She was glad when Siren drank the water she was offered and made a small mental note to go fetch her some more once she was done with her initial exam. She didn't even feel like she could really relax until she knew for certain that Siren wasn't injured and even then it would probably take a while for her unwind from the worry she had carried all night.
Her ears perked as Siren began to explain things, but the short explanation she got was more confusing than it was illuminating. Summoned? By a water spirit? What was a water spirit and how was she summoned by it? By now she was tracing her paws down along her sides, checking her ribs, when Siren simply said "he" before her words cut themselves off. Dalila's paws stopped half way, frozen as she suddenly heard herself in Siren's words. She had hesitated the same way after Chimera had raped her, remembering that hurt and shame so vividly despite the time that had passed. Dalila swallowed past the lump in her throat and she finished checking Siren's ribs before she shifted her attention lower.
Her paws lightly traced Siren's lower back, hips, and hind legs, looking for any points that made her flinch. If she found any she would stop and gently move on to another portion of her body or leg. Almost unwillingly her gaze shifted to more intimate parts of her love that she had become more familiar with in their time alone together, but didn't linger there long. Dalila didn't really need Siren to spell it out for her. She understood. The evidence was there of a man that was far larger than her body should have been allowed to partake in. Her lower half was in far worse shape than the upper. Dalila moved away for a moment, quietly getting more water to refill the bowl while she tried to process this new information.
"Did... Did he force you?" she asked quietly, her ears folded back as she feared the answer. There was really only two answers. Either Siren was hurt and violated on her watch, swept away from the island some how and subjected to this terrible fate, or Siren willingly agreed to let this happen. A confused and hurt emotion welled up in her chest at the possibility that it was the later as she awaited the answer, unable to bring her gaze up to meet Siren's. Instead she watched the bowl of water between them, settling back on her haunches and setting the water skin down beside her.
08-22-2021, 03:25 PM
Siren’s heart fell further as emotion overwhelmed her. Guilt and shame weighed heavily on her shoulders. She spoke what words would come and careful paws were frozen against her as Dalila easily put the pieces of the puzzle together. Like the two of them had shifted places when she confessed about Chimera not so long ago. Siren couldn’t bring herself to look up at Dalila, her silence made Siren’s heart stop. She closed her eyes, determined not to cry. She grit her teeth and buried her face in her paws as Dalila’s examination continued lower. She flinched and whimpered softly as Dalila’s paws traced her thighs and her sore hips. She felt the pause as Dalila’s eyes no doubt could see what she went through. Her pelt was unblemished, but beneath the surface she was bruised and worse.
Dalila stood up after that, Siren felt a terrible hollowness inside of her. Like her stomach had fallen out of its place and her heart had jumped to her throat. Her lungs clung to her ribs and her breathing suffered for it. What she suffered through had been a living nightmare, but the thought that Dalila thought less of her was even more devastating. She hadn’t wanted this, but she couldn’t have told Tiberius no, and she wondered if she had what else might have happened to her.
"I couldn’t say no.” She spoke quietly. There was no greater honor than serving a river god but she hadn’t wanted it. Siren loved Dalila, she was the one who knew her intimately, she was the one who slept beside her and cared for her everyday. She was the one she wanted to share that with, not the demon that had used her. Tears threatened her eyes again and her throat grew tight. She hid her face, and tried to hold in everything that wanted to pour out.
"Siren Primrose Klein"
Dalila stood up after that, Siren felt a terrible hollowness inside of her. Like her stomach had fallen out of its place and her heart had jumped to her throat. Her lungs clung to her ribs and her breathing suffered for it. What she suffered through had been a living nightmare, but the thought that Dalila thought less of her was even more devastating. She hadn’t wanted this, but she couldn’t have told Tiberius no, and she wondered if she had what else might have happened to her.
"I couldn’t say no.” She spoke quietly. There was no greater honor than serving a river god but she hadn’t wanted it. Siren loved Dalila, she was the one who knew her intimately, she was the one who slept beside her and cared for her everyday. She was the one she wanted to share that with, not the demon that had used her. Tears threatened her eyes again and her throat grew tight. She hid her face, and tried to hold in everything that wanted to pour out.
08-22-2021, 05:39 PM
Dalila felt a conflicted stab in her chest at Siren's words, trying to comprehend what situation could have possibly put Siren into the kind of position where she couldn't have said no. When Chimera forced himself on her she had been his property. His slave. Even if she had been caring and serving Siren she had still been his and because of that she quite literally had no choice but to allow him to have what he wanted from her. Siren had no master, she was no slave. She was a princess that had everything she could ever want given to her. Dalila shifted uneasily as she tried to piece together things on her own, but there was huge gaps that demanded answers before she could comprehend what happened. It was hard for her to look at Siren with the way she buried her face, so obviously hurt and overwhelmed, but Dalila's naive heart was broken and it demanded answers.
There was still a huge question mark around the thought of this man being a "water spirit" as Siren called him, but she could put that aside for now. "I looked all over the island for you," she said softly, thinking through things out loud with her gaze fixed on her paws from where she sat beside the bed. "So I know he wasn't here because I would have found you or at least a stranger's scent... So... Did you get swept out by the storm? Or did you leave on your own? Did... Did you know who this was? The man who did this to you?" She tried so hard to not be hurt, to not feel as if she had been cheated and slighted in all of this, but it was hard. It was hard to not feel heartbroken at the idea that she had done so much to try and protect and love her lady to keep her happy here just for her to leave on her own free will and allow this to happen.
She didn't really even want to wait for Siren's answers. Facing the truth that she was already too sure was the case hurt too much. Before Siren could give her the truth, if she even would, Dalila got to her paws again and she slipped away to go out to the shelves where their herbs and supplies were kept, collecting a cluster of meadowsweet, another bowl, and some sweet berries, mashing them all together while her mind reeled, feeling the need to keep herself busy to avoid her own emotions. She returned to Siren's side a few moments later, placing the medicated berries in front of her. "For the pain," she told her simply, her voice quiet and detached. More pieces began to fall into place in her mind slowly but surely and a horrible realization crept up on her. "You were in heat." The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them and her ears flicked with worry.
For at least a brief moment she was able to look past her own feelings of betrayal, falling back into the role of Siren's caretaker and servant - the only role she should have allowed herself to ever have for the princess. "There's herbs you can take to stop the pups from forming," she said quietly, glancing up at her lady uncertainly. "I could go out and hunt for them now... if you want them." Or was this what she wanted? Had all of this been planned? Dalila began to wonder if she had been delusional in feeling as if she was enough for her lady, her chest squeezing painfully with emotion that she was desperately trying to push away and bury down.
08-22-2021, 06:39 PM
She needed Dalila’s understanding and support now more than she ever had. The naive princess had worked her way into the mess she was facing and felt the consequences immediately. In the way her body was abused and now the journey to see the effort through to fruition. What she needed most would not come as the mottled woman struggled to put the pieces together, she hesitated and became detached. Siren grit her teeth as pain laced through her heart and through her veins. Liquid filled her eyes but she willed the tears not to spill over even as Dalila maintained her distance.
She had been worried, and looking all over for her. She had every right to be upset, and the guilt poured heavier on her shoulders. Siren didn’t want to relive any of it but Dalila continued to press. Was she swept out to sea? Had she left all on her own? Did she know this man? She took a breath to explain, no matter how much her mind screamed not to. No matter how much she wanted to sleep and forget what was happening. Before she could speak Dalila stood up and hurried to the apothecary.
Siren finally looked up, still feeling the dizziness but already feeling better with the long drink of water she had taken. The mottled woman returned with herbs and Siren wasn’t even sure she wanted her answer anymore. She dutifully offered the herbs but kept her space from her, as though revulsed. Siren curled in on herself, curling her toes into the soft furs and blankets as wave after wave shook her tiny form. Dalila’s distance was agonizing, but she didn’t feel like she deserved to reach out.
Then Dalila spoke again, both of them knowing the likely result from what happened. Siren could prevent further pain and heartache now, she could discard her duty after enduring the river demon. After she survived what he asked of her. Could she make it through this though? Separation from the woman she loved, and who had loved her? The desire to lie to Dalila now was even stronger, but it would help nothing in the end.
"The puppies are the reason this happened,” she answered quietly, unable to look at Dalila, barely even able to keep her eyes open. "He appeared to me on a river when I was younger,” she couldn’t remember how long ago now. "Tiberius, the river god. He said to come to him when he called for me.” She continued to explain, her voice softer even as she re-lived her experience with the water spirit. "His voice came from the ocean, I stepped into the surf and the current carried me to him.” She whispered softly, knowing that the will of the spirits couldn’t truly be fathomed. And even as she told the tale, knew this was part of the sacrifice she would be asked to make. Tears began to stain her cheeks, and still she didn’t look towards Dalila. Afraid of what she would find there when what she wanted the most was her love.
The appearance of the spirits had mostly happened when she was a young pup, after Dalila entered her life they had nearly stopped, she acted like a curtain to shield her from the spirit world. But it had found another way to reach her, a form that took on flesh and blood and demanded she sacrifice everything. "I couldn’t refuse.” She tried to explain, princess she might be but there was higher beings even than she.
"Siren Primrose Klein"
She had been worried, and looking all over for her. She had every right to be upset, and the guilt poured heavier on her shoulders. Siren didn’t want to relive any of it but Dalila continued to press. Was she swept out to sea? Had she left all on her own? Did she know this man? She took a breath to explain, no matter how much her mind screamed not to. No matter how much she wanted to sleep and forget what was happening. Before she could speak Dalila stood up and hurried to the apothecary.
Siren finally looked up, still feeling the dizziness but already feeling better with the long drink of water she had taken. The mottled woman returned with herbs and Siren wasn’t even sure she wanted her answer anymore. She dutifully offered the herbs but kept her space from her, as though revulsed. Siren curled in on herself, curling her toes into the soft furs and blankets as wave after wave shook her tiny form. Dalila’s distance was agonizing, but she didn’t feel like she deserved to reach out.
Then Dalila spoke again, both of them knowing the likely result from what happened. Siren could prevent further pain and heartache now, she could discard her duty after enduring the river demon. After she survived what he asked of her. Could she make it through this though? Separation from the woman she loved, and who had loved her? The desire to lie to Dalila now was even stronger, but it would help nothing in the end.
"The puppies are the reason this happened,” she answered quietly, unable to look at Dalila, barely even able to keep her eyes open. "He appeared to me on a river when I was younger,” she couldn’t remember how long ago now. "Tiberius, the river god. He said to come to him when he called for me.” She continued to explain, her voice softer even as she re-lived her experience with the water spirit. "His voice came from the ocean, I stepped into the surf and the current carried me to him.” She whispered softly, knowing that the will of the spirits couldn’t truly be fathomed. And even as she told the tale, knew this was part of the sacrifice she would be asked to make. Tears began to stain her cheeks, and still she didn’t look towards Dalila. Afraid of what she would find there when what she wanted the most was her love.
The appearance of the spirits had mostly happened when she was a young pup, after Dalila entered her life they had nearly stopped, she acted like a curtain to shield her from the spirit world. But it had found another way to reach her, a form that took on flesh and blood and demanded she sacrifice everything. "I couldn’t refuse.” She tried to explain, princess she might be but there was higher beings even than she.
08-22-2021, 07:55 PM
If Siren had agreed to wipe away the problem, to prevent the pups she was likely carrying, then perhaps Dalila could have tried to forgive and forget. She could understand a mistake or maybe even accept that it really was against her will after all and now they needed to heal the after affects of that attack. But when the first words out of Siren's mouth weren't agreement to rid herself of her possible pregnancy Dalila felt the last little bit of her hope shatter. Calling this man a river god still made no sense to her. It just made her wonder if perhaps the saltwater had gotten to Siren's head and she was imagining things. Either way, it sounded like this was at least someone she had met before and when he had called for her she had gone. That was the truth of it. She had willingly gone to this man despite the safety and love she had here and now she would carry his pups that she refused to prevent. I couldn't refuse. She gave that as her excuse again and it just hurt Dalila more because she absolutely could have. Even if the result would have been the same the connotation would have been completely different. At least then she could sympathize with this woman she loved so dearly instead of feeling slighted and betrayed.
But Dalila didn't say anything. She just looked at the ground in front of her for a long moment as she contemplated what she should do or what she could do. The love and relationship she thought they had made her feel like a fool. It had been bad enough that she had to swallow her pride whenever she was with Chimera, but she had forced herself to justify it because Chimera had come long before her and she knew that asking Siren to pick her over Chimera was an impossible task. But this... this hurt her to her very core and reminded her that even if they loved one another and even if Siren had gone to such lengths to buy her away from Chimera she was still her slave. That hadn't changed and she was foolish to think it had.
Dalila didn't feel disgusted by what Siren had done or even angry. She was heartbroken and sad, shaken back to the reality of what they were. If this was what Siren wanted then so be it. She rose to her paws again, still staring at the floor as her posture naturally shifted back to the submissive, withdrawn stance she had once held when she was first purchased, biting back the emotions and tears that threatened to overwhelm her. "Please finish your herbs and water and get some rest, my lady. I'll be back this evening to prepare your dinner and help you bathe." She turned to walk out of the den, attempting to hurry away before the quiet demeanor the placed protectively over herself could crack. She didn't know what she was going to do or where she was going to go, but she just knew she needed to get away and clear her head that was still spinning.
08-23-2021, 07:08 AM
There was no understanding and no support from the one that she loved and as much as she tore Dalila apart she did the same to Siren. There was no reaction, no gentle paw upon her back, nothing. This was Siren’s burden to carry alone, and that fact couldn’t have been made more clear in the way Dalila reacted. Silence, complete stony silence as she told her the truth, what she had been put through, and the burden she carried for powers that were far beyond her. And she was given nothing by the woman she loved, who she only wanted to hold her and support her right now. Maybe their love was not as strong as she had believed.
Dalila spoke again, hiding any disgust or betrayal from her voice, but the words sounded more like she was speaking to Chimera than her adored lover. Siren broke as the woman turned to leave her there. This was not the price she planned to pay as a servant of the water spirit. Dalila instructed her to eat the herbs that were offered, drink the water she was provided, and rest like her body needed. Siren said nothing, she didn’t move as she struggled with the way her heart cracked and broke in her chest.
She didn’t let the sobs begin until Dalila was gone. Suddenly feeling like the weight of the world was weighing heavily on her chest Siren cried. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she sobbed into the soft blankets and furs on her bed that she had shared with the precious woman. Everything hurt, her body, her heart, her head. Nothing was right and she wallowed in her sorrow, refusing the herbs and finding her desire to drink diminished. She cried herself to sleep, and wandered in dark nightmares as the life she knew crumbled around her.
"Siren Primrose Klein"
Dalila spoke again, hiding any disgust or betrayal from her voice, but the words sounded more like she was speaking to Chimera than her adored lover. Siren broke as the woman turned to leave her there. This was not the price she planned to pay as a servant of the water spirit. Dalila instructed her to eat the herbs that were offered, drink the water she was provided, and rest like her body needed. Siren said nothing, she didn’t move as she struggled with the way her heart cracked and broke in her chest.
She didn’t let the sobs begin until Dalila was gone. Suddenly feeling like the weight of the world was weighing heavily on her chest Siren cried. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she sobbed into the soft blankets and furs on her bed that she had shared with the precious woman. Everything hurt, her body, her heart, her head. Nothing was right and she wallowed in her sorrow, refusing the herbs and finding her desire to drink diminished. She cried herself to sleep, and wandered in dark nightmares as the life she knew crumbled around her.