ooc: so I'm not a dumb and forget later - after confirm prego but before packing bags

Ever since her talk with Siren and the conversation she had with Chimera afterward, she had gone back to most of her normal routine with Siren. Helping her in the mornings and evenings, keeping her long fur clean, keeping the den tidy. She liked to be busy and even if she was officially no longer Siren's slave she still couldn't keep herself from doing the things she had grown used to doing. For at least a few days she still tried to distance herself a bit, but slowly she started to try and ease herself back into Siren's life bit by bit. A little conversation here, working together on some herbs there. As much as she didn't want to admit it she still loved Siren so much and even though it would probably be easier on her to just leave she couldn't bring herself to and now she had promised Chimera that she would join him in his new pack so she would stay.

What had really begun to chip away at her was when Siren's nausea began, one of many signs that she was indeed carrying the pups that Dalila had anticipated. Seeing Siren sick, no matter the reason, softened her and she did her best to try and keep Siren as comfortable as she could. She started braiding more of the long fur around her face back into larger braids so there was no risk of it falling into her face when she got sick and Dalila was always there to rub her back and fetch her water. Without really intending to she quickly found herself spending most of her time with Siren again. It almost infuriated her how easy it was to love Siren. This was how she had ended up where she was, but at least this time she had a better understanding of things outside of just the two of them.

She had gone out for a couple of hours early in the morning to do a bit of training. It wasn't something she had kept up with since she was purchased by Chimera and Siren, but with the knowledge that they would be moving to a new pack and knowing that she was free to pursue whatever she wanted to do she had picked the hold habit up again. For now it was just shaking the rust off of fighting and defensive stances, practicing on the beach so the shifting sand under paw would help her rebuild her muscles more quickly.

She had gone out before the sun had even fully crested the horizon so she hadn't really been expecting Siren to be awake when she got back, but as she neared the den she heard the now familiar sound of Siren getting sick and immediately Dalila ran forward to find her, stumbling to a stop beside her and scooping her braids out of the way to hold them behind her. "I'm sorry, my lady, I'm here," she said in a soft, breathless voice before she could realize what she was saying while her free paw gently rubbed between Siren's shoulders.

"Dalila"

After everything she and Dalila had settled into their normal routine without much fuss. Siren had initially been surprised when she was there for her, but slowly Dal began to open up a little more. They had small talks while they prepared herbs together, or she combed her hair, or shared a meal together. There was still a tension that settled between them that only time would fix, but everyday it seemed to lessen. It was the little things Siren was grateful for, and she noticed the way Dal braided her hair differently. She thanked her at all junctions. She didn’t want to take her for granted ever again.

Siren woke to an empty den, not unusual these days. The two of them no longer spent every waking, and sleeping moment together. That still made her heart hurt but she was trying to appreciate her alone time while she was able. It was obvious now that she was expecting, and everyone but Dal would know them as Chimera’s children.

The consequences were her nausea and Siren was almost grateful for the privacy this morning. She wretched violently, and didn’t realize just how much she wanted Dalila’s presence until she was there. Reverting back to the soft tender touch from before her encounter with the river god. "Dalila,” She whined appreciatively as she leaned into her chest and her touch. She felt miserable, but her support made everything so much easier to bear.

"Speech"

The way Siren said her name and leaned into her chest made Dalila's chest ache, but a little smile pulled across her lips all the same and her paw continued to stroke soothingly over her back and shoulders. "It's okay, I've got you," she said gently, settling onto her haunches so that she could let Siren lean on her more easily while the wave of nausea passed. Her ears folded back while her foreleg slipped around Siren's shoulders, pulling her gently into an embrace to support her while she fought with her own conflicted emotions. She hadn't fully accepted for forgiven what Siren had done, but it was hard to deny the relief she felt feeling Siren lean on her like this. She knew she could never have the life she had really wanted with Siren and she knew she would never be Siren's first pick, but these little moments like this reminded her why she had enjoyed being Siren's servant. Siren was so easy to love and even if she hadn't thanked her for her help before like she did now Dalila did at least know how appreciative she was of it.

Dalila struggled with herself for a moment before finally giving into her temptations and leaned down to give the top of Siren's head a gentle kiss. She just didn't have it in her to be cold or distant with the delicate woman when she didn't feel well. It felt like a dangerous and slippery slope to allow herself these little affections that she missed, but in that moment all she wanted to do was help Siren feel better. "Ready to go back inside?" she asked once it seemed like Siren's nausea had at least momentarily passed and once she confirmed she was Dalila helped her back to her paws and led her back into the den and into her bed. "I'll get you some water," she said before going to collect the bowl and the water skin she had filled the night before, placing the bowl beside Siren and filling it quietly. Chimera's reminder to find happiness where she could get it continued to run though her mind. If she was really going to stay with Siren for the foreseeable future and if taking care of her still made her happy then did she really want to keep keeping herself from that happiness even if she did have to share the woman she loved with others?

She sighed softly as she sat the water skin down beside the bed, looking down at the floor of the den for a long moment before she finally let herself settle beside the bed and rest her head beside Siren's so that their muzzles were nearly brushing together. It was the closest they had been besides when she was helping tend to Siren's fur or helping her bathe and it made her heart skip, her ears flicking back against her head. "Can I ask you something, Siren?" she whispered, her gaze finding Siren's uncertainly. "If... If I could share you with Chimera... Is that something you would want? Would you want to go back to how we were before?" she asked, leaving part of the decision in Siren's paws. She didn't know if she would even want her back and Dalila still didn't know if it would hurt too much to allow herself to love Siren the way she used to, but she wanted to try tip toeing into that direction. She didn't feel the same animosity toward Chimera she once had and if he was the only other one that held Siren's heart then perhaps she could learn to live with that if that's what Siren wanted so that she could continue to hold on to a little bit of that happiness she brought.

"Dalila"

Despite everything that happened between them Dalila was as loyal and supportive as ever. Without hesitation she held onto Siren as she suffered through the side effects of the pregnancy. The mottled woman assured her that she was safe, that she would have support as Dal held her shoulders and patted gently against her shoulders. She could almost feel Dalila’s internal struggle because she felt it herself. There hadn’t been a resolution between the two of them, there was no forgiveness for what she had done. And yet the other woman remained here beside her, held her to her chest as she struggled.

Siren tried to even her breathing and recover from the sickness that took her. Dalila held her lightly and gave her comfort she hadn’t felt from the once slave since she found her on the beach. It felt right and wrong at the same time. She craved so much to have Dalila there beside her in the aftermath of Tiberius and his abuses, but she had to suffer alone. Siren couldn’t hold it against Dalila, but even with the lack of resolution she felt the calm soothing effect of Dal’s affection. "Yes,” she whispered quietly as the nausea passed and Dalila helped her back into the den they shared. A small nod of her head was given as Dal offered her a drink of water.

Siren settled back into the bed that she used to share with Dal. It felt much bigger and less like home without her, but by now she had accepted that she would not be allowed to have her back in her arms. That their relationship had been torn beyond repair when she offered her body to be used by the spirits. Siren didn’t love Tiberius, and would have never allowed him to touch her were he not the divine spirit.

She sipped lightly at the water before Dalila settled down onto the floor beside her and rested her muzzle very close to her own. Closer than they had been since she destroyed Dal’s trust in her. She spoke softly, but didn’t wait for an answer as she asked her question, not that Siren would have told her no. Dual toned eyes blinked open as Dalila found her gaze and hesitantly spoke her question. If she could learn to live with Chimera’s dominion over her, would she want Dalila how they were again?

Her ears fell and she looked away. Was that what Dalila really wanted? Could they restore their relationship to what it had once been? "Is that what you want?” Siren questioned her back quietly. "Dal, I… I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you beside me.” She felt like she was being punished having to sleep alone and struggle through the day alone. Chimera had to be her priority though. Now that she knew how much he wanted her she couldn’t do anything but make him happy, that included indulging in each other. "I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

"Speech"

When Siren's delicate ears flicked back and she looked away Dalila's immediate thought was that she was going to tell her no. She knew Siren was likely too sweet and kind to want to turn her offer down, but Dalila prepared herself for that eventuality anyway. She took comfort in knowing that the sting wouldn't compare to that initial hurt and betrayal. She didn't know what all had occurred with Siren between now and then. Maybe Siren had decided that she only wanted Chimera and preferred Dalila to just be her servant. She was prepared for that, but that's not what she received. Siren questioned her in returned and made her chest ache as she admitted how much she had missed her. Somehow that hadn't been a possibility that Dalila had been prepared for and that caught her off guard, shifting her gaze down to look at one of Siren's braids that was laying across the bed in front of her nose. I don't want to be apart from you anymore. It caused a pang in her chest, an aching and longing that she had tried so hard to ignore this whole time.

She tried to imagine how she would feel the next time she saw Siren and Chimera together, how she'd feel whenever they shared affections and she had to stand to the side and allow it to happen. She knew it would still not sit right with her and would still bring up that jealously that she hadn't even known she possessed before she started realizing these things, but in comparison to the loneliness and the sadness she felt denying herself the woman she loved... it didn't really compare. Her gaze shifted back to Siren's face, admiring her beauty for a few quiet moments before she finally inched closer so her nose could gently press to Siren's cheek. "We can't undo what's been done," she said softly, catching Siren's two toned gaze, "Things will obviously have to be different now... But I want you to be happy and not having you at all feels far worse than only having part of you."

It wasn't what she really wanted and having to settle for less didn't feel good, but she was willing to try for both of their sakes. She would find her happiness where she could get it, even if it felt like just a sliver of what she had before. Maybe in time she could learn to be content with this, which being the second choice in Siren's life while Siren was her everything, but for now she could at least enjoy these little moments they had alone. She stood and carefully climbed into the bed that had become so familiar and settled herself around the smaller woman, gently nuzzling into the side of her neck. There was a mixed feeling of relief and uncertainty as she slipped her forelegs around Siren and held her close for the first time in a while. Not knowing what the future would look like or how they would settle back into their relationship made her uneasy, but even just being like this brought back that familiar flutter in her stomach. "I've missed being beside you too," she said quietly as she kissed her cheek, gently squeezing Siren in her embrace.

"Dalila"

She hated that she had caused Dalila so much hurt and pain, it had never been her intention but what made her feel the worst was that she could not make a different decision. After everything that happened in her life Chimera was and would always be the most important in her heart. That fact should have been made much more clear and Dalila shouldn’t have ever been blindsided like she was. Siren could never say sorry enough nor could she restore their relationship to before because of her devotion to Chi. Dalila was the one who would really make the decision where their relationship would be, if she could manage to overlook Chimera’s lording place over Siren’s life.

Siren spoke the truth though, she hated being without Dalila, she didn’t want the two of them to be apart anymore. She could do nothing but be herself and hope that the mottled woman could accept that from her. Siren half expected her hope to be dashed, it was what she deserved. She felt incredibly selfish, and knew Dal should have so much more than what she had to give her. Then Dalila’s nose was pressing into her cheek affectionately. Siren gasped in surprise but leaned into her gentle kiss. She blinked back any emotions that welled in her eyes as she looked up into Dalila’s bright gaze.

There was no return to the way things were, but Dalila was willing to try and forge a new path with her, because anything was better than nothing. Siren had Chimera to lean on and support her, but there was nothing like Dalila’s soft form curled around her in her bed. Siren knew this wasn’t exactly what Dal wanted for their relationship, but knowing she was willing to do whatever it took for them to be together warmed Siren’s very core. Dalila shifted, lifting herself to her paws so she could climb into the royal bed.

Then Dalila was holding her and it was like nothing had changed. Siren felt an incredible relief wash over her as her tiny body relaxed into Dal’s arms. Tears welled up in her dual toned eyes as they wrapped each other in their arms. Siren’s soft features buried into Dalila’s mottled fur and wetted it with her tears. Dalila whispered words she never thought she would hear as she pressed a gentle kiss against her cheek. Siren clung to Dal like her life depended on how tightly she held. She missed her too.

"I can’t say I’m sorry enough.” She muttered quietly as she pressed herself against Dalila. "For everything. For ruining this, for not being who you deserve. For hurting you so bad.” She confessed and poured her transgressions out. There was no forgiveness, but she would repent.

"Speech"

It was impossible to keep a soft, adoring smile from pulling across her lips as she felt Siren physically relax once she was tucked into her embrace. Dalila longed desperately for the time before all of this, back before she was forced to question everything in her reality and before this pure happiness was tainted. She just wanted to rewind time back to when she was blissfully ignorant to the truth of everything. But she couldn't. She couldn't put everything back to how it once was and now it felt like she was grasping at any shred of what was left and she was just going to have to find happiness in moments like this with Siren clinging to her and feeling her princess' tears in her fur. Hearing her tearful apologizes tugged at her heart and made her hold Siren tighter and kiss across the top of her head, gently leaving little trails of affections around her ears as if she was trying to make up for all the days she didn't give Siren any of this attention.

Forgiving Siren felt out of reach, but at the same time she also didn't feel like it was entirely Siren's fault - at least not in the regard of Chimera holding more of her heart. That hurt she put on herself since all the signs were already there she had just been too blinded by love to see it. The only real transgression she had to repent for in Dalila's eyes was her leaving the island and allowing these pups she carried to continue, but Dalila couldn't hold that over her forever. This was her new reality and just like every other time there was a dramatic shift in her life she would eventually adapt to it. "I know," she said softly, nuzzling the top of Siren's head while one of her paws combed through the soft fur on the back of her neck. She knew Siren was sorry - she never doubted the truth of that.

She gently cupped Siren's cheek with her paw and lifted her head till she could see those pretty two toned eyes again, smiling softly as she carefully brushed away her tears. No matter all the pain she had felt and no matter the fact that Siren had been at the center of it it still made her chest ache to see tears in those eyes she loved so much. "No more crying, okay? I just want you to be happy... Whatever it takes, I just want you to be happy." She didn't know it was possible to be so hopelessly in love that she'd want to give up her own happiness so easily just to see Siren smile. She leaned down to place a soft, tender kiss on her lips, sealing the silent promise that whatever came she would be at Siren's side no matter how difficult it became.

"Dalila"