Duchess still hadn't changed much. She stayed to herself most of the time, her attitude hadn't changed. But how she was perceiving her feelings was quite different than how she actually felt. Well maybe she was a little angry that Indigo wasn't there for her when she had last asked of him. Which really felt like ages ago, really.

So much had happened since she found out she was pregnant... since Indigo had told her. Aslatiel had left, the 'trial' had gone through, Draco was dead. But everything that had happened, she didn't feel any different. Just like Indigo felt numb, or tried to, she was nearly in the same position. Burdening to the others, feeling like all she had to do was stay out of their way, it's really what even got her through the day. Gypsy and Segin had spoken up kindly, but she still felt like she had let them down.

After pulling the net of a handful a fish from the grande, she nestled herself in her own den, somewhere she had made away from the others. Her legs ached from the weight she was starting to carry. Not from the net, but from her own body. And while she felt more physically able instead of tired and weak, her body was taking other tolls as the pups grew bigger. She slept less now a days, but it didn't stop her from staying in the den most of the day.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

Indigo kept a close eye on Duchess, he had admitted his devotion to his children that grew within her. He didn’t let her forget her guilt, this should have been planned and he was still blind to why she had been so impatient. He was determined to make this the correct choice, it was completely opposite of his morals to choose any other path. Now they were getting to the point in Duch’s pregnancy that she would start to slow down and need help. If his family history was anything to go by she was full of massive puppies. Four or five without a doubt.

Indigo never let her get to far, not after everything with Draco. Not now that she was so much more vulnerable. Huge paws carried him to her temporary den away from the camp. Like he promised, he was there to take care of her. Like he had promised to all of the band.

”Duchess?” He called out to her softly as he approached the rough hewn hold in the earth. They would have to start thinking about the permanent arrangements for birth, and until the puppies were old enough to be moved. ”I’ve brought some medicine and supplements.” Indigo declared, pausing outside the entrance.

This was well and truly happening, in a few short weeks he would be a father. Not in any sort of the way he had planned, but he would be there nonetheless. It was such an odd state to be in, and he continued to struggle internally as the days went on.


Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

When she saw Indigo's shadow appear from the mouth of the den, her ear flicked to him, but when he spoke out, she picked up her head to look more at him. Her back was still facing him as her neck curled over herself. He didn't really seem to be welcoming himself in, as much as Duchess wanted him to. She stood, regaining her balance as she felt sore in her ankles from her own active day.

She started to come out of the den, not sure how close Indigo was to the entrance. She sat quickly while her paws bothered her and noticed the few things that he brought for her. "Oh, thank you." She tried to muster a smile but couldn't even do that, her gaze staying down towards his paws and the herbs that he prescribed. As she had for many weeks, she would have wanted to beg for him to stay with her, to cuddle with her and hold her close. But she almost knew better than to ask at this point.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

There wer few things he wished for so fervently than that he could go back in time and prevent Duchess from making this terrible decision. He’d not have lost Aslatiel, the band would still be the cohesive unit it was always intended to be, they could look forward to someday having their first litter. But no. She’d stolen all of that away from him. No matter how much he wanted to squeeze himself into that den and hold her he did not. The little Emersyn on his shoulder was unwilling to fully forgive her. She didn’t deserve for anything to go back to the way it was, but neither did he.

He wanted everything back to the way it was, but that was impossible. Now it was making the best of what they had and trying to salvage the pieces into what would make their new normal. He sighed heavily as she emerged from the den and she took a seat before him, looking pitiful and sorry for herself. A physical manifestation of how he felt inside as well. ”You’re welcome.” He offered softly and nosed the medication towards her. ”They’ll be here soon,” He commented softly, almost awkwardly as he tried to decide where he was comfortable allowing Duchess to be. Where did they fit in each other’s lives now with babies on the way and their relationship broken?

Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

Saying their relationship was strained was an understatement, and anytime she was in the presence of the others in the band, especially Indigo, she felt a heavy tension even if they didn't feel the same way. These days she was keeping her distance from all of them, even Gypsy or Segin. And she really didn't know what would happen after.

While she felt this real or imaginary tension, she tried her best to at least be civil. She had already had her out bursts like at their meeting, one with Emersyn too. But she didn't throw it up in everyone's face when she was actually faced with them. Not with how timid she had become.

Her eyes remained on the herbs as Indigo pushed them towards her and she still struggled to look up towards him when he mentioned that they would be here soon. Just as awkward as he was, Duchess paused herself without a breath as she struggled to find something to even say. "Yeah," her voice was quick at first just with that one word, but slowed as she went on, "They're always moving around, kicking at each other I would guess." She couldn't muster a laugh, just a tiny, maybe not even noticeable pull at the corner of her maw. It was clear how hard she was trying, or how difficult it was for her to be in front of him without getting what she wanted from him.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

He kept telling himself that everything would be alright once the puppies were here, they would magically make everyone feel warm and fuzzy and they would be brought together as a family again. Everyday that passed he would realize that was nothing but his own wishful thinking. These babies were pushing everyone further and further apart and even his strong arms could not keep them all together. Duch’s decision had broken his whole life that he had been devoting himself to building. When everything had felt perfect the whole house of cards had fallen.

Right now he could feel the sharp reality that their relationship was broken. The way she kept her gaze from him, her shy and shameful demeanor. Did she regret her decision? Was she truly sorry for her actions or did she put the weight of this all on everyone else? He couldn’t honestly tell. He was the leader though, and really he needed to take the responsibility. He hadn’t been keeping close enough tabs on Duchess, he had been the one that had so blatantly ignored the field of red flags that Duchess made for him. All for a little passion that he wasn’t even sure meant anything anymore.

”It’s hard.. With everything.” He confessed but continued, ”But I’m excited for them.” Maybe they really would be the glue that returned the band to wholeness, or maybe he was just thinking far too wishfully. Either way, as time went on, his desire to raise these children grew exponentially.

Indigo Arcturus Fatalis