~*~ (ooc: timing is supposed to be right after 'Lips of an Angel' and just before the family moves) Orica, with her moss riddled knapsack over her shoulders, and her eyes bright as dewdrops, skipped along through the foothills. She was home again, and she'd made it past the border without being seen. (Though...she knew that she was likely enough to get in trouble at some point) Who knew, maybe she'd get lucky. Maybe her parents would assume she was with one of her siblings or cousins, maybe they'd figure she was just exploring another corner of the mountain and had spent the night out there. After all, she was almost ten months old now. Soon enough she'd be an independent adult - or something like that. And honestly, after the misadventure she'd just come through, she wasn't eager to avoid her parents. In fact, she wanted to see them. Or maybe just her mother. Orica wanted to speak to her mom. Her little white paws were pushed into a lope, gently pushing against the ground as she sought out the game trails that would lead her up the mountain more quickly. Her mind kept going back over the events of the day before - and of early this morning. It had been... exciting turned scary, turned terrifying, turned .... well she didn't know, maybe nice. She'd been so caught up in the effect their meeting was having on the male, that she hadn't stopped to think about what it was doing to her. Well it had taught her a couple of things: one, that going out on her own wasn't a great idea. Two, crazy killers were alot more common than she would've supposed. Three, this was exactly what she wanted to do with her life. Healing! She was meant to be a medic! Of course she would want to help and care for others no matter what path she took, but when she was healing... it was just... more her. It was her calling. It didn't matter what other craziness was going on, she could focus and be useful and get things done. Purpose. It was a wonderful thing to have. So, in the end, she'd come away with some pretty important answers. But still alot of unanswered questions. That was the main reason she wanted to find her mom. Orica, reaching the crest of a foothill, caught onto a trace of her mother's scent. She had to be around here somewhere. The little girl let out a high, sharp howl, craning her head farther and farther back in the noontide sun. ~*~

Ocena had been wandering Tortuga's territory when Orica's call came. It was becoming increasingly rare to see her in Tortuga's territory, now that she knew the truth of the volcano. It was difficult for her to force herself to stay put for long. But when Orica's call came for her, Ocena dropped everything, heading off immediately towards her darling girl. She would have never picked favorites from amongst her children; no, Ocena adored them all, and when one sought her out, Ocena would abandon everything for them. She would not make any of her darlings wait any longer than they had to. Especially now that they were growing up and beginning to explore the world, spending less time at home than they had before. As she approached her daughter, Ocena felt her tail wag easily in the air behind her. "Orica!" She greeted her daughter happily, settling back on her haunches as soon as she was close enough to her daughter. The female was practically the spitting image of herself, with some of her father's markings. It suited her. She would be a heart breaker one day, of that Ocena was sure. Of course, Avalon would probably be a heartbreaker too. And Galileo, well, he would probably have females of all sorts chasing after him. But that would come with time. For then, they were just her darling children. They wouldn't be breaking any hearts for a little while yet. She was quiet for the moment, however, waiting for Orica to speak her mind. Whatever had caused her daughter to seek her out would not be rushed, and Ocena was willing to wait for a little bit. Speech

~*~ Orica seemed to have lucked out, or at the very least, her mother didn't seem to have been worried. The girl breathed a silent sigh of relief at the sight of the older fae. They could've been two peas in a pod, espically considering, that with Orica's hieght, she would be as tall as her mother by the time she was a yearling - and would probably keep growing several more inches. Of course, Avalon and Gali seemed to have gotten the real hieght genes in the family, but Orica was content to be somewhere in the middle. She could hold her own amongst the rummblings of her siblings, but her true calling was to be a healer. She didn't have to fight the wars, just clean up after them - which, even in her young mind, she recognized as often being the harder job. But her calling was only a small part of what she wished to talk about. She was relieved Ocena hadn't noticed her abscense, mainly because it meant Orica could go right to the questions. But how? She didn't want to blurt out everything that had happened - no no, that would never do. The girl had to sit down and mull over exactly what she wanted to know. Her mother would have the answers, of course she would. That's what mother's were for. Orica had given a beaming smile before, but now her face grew lined with thought. Her big blue eyes turned serious and pensive. Her tail beside her hips and tapped the ground with it thoughtfully. "Mother," she murmured. "I've-I've been thinking alot lately, and I'm curious. Do you think that wolves can change? Can bad wolves become good wolves? Can good wolves, become bad wolves? And if so - how? And how do you know when they've really made a switch like that?" Heavy stuff for a yearling. Twin sapphires gazed up at the mother with a smoldering curiosity that would be not denied. ~*~

The smile that Ocena adored so had faded from her daughter's face and Ocena felt a protective worry stirring in her thoughts, ears pricking attentively in her daughter's direction as she waited for Orica to speak. She wouldn't push it just yet. Whatever had drawn Orica to summon her mother was clearly important, and Ocena was content to wait until the words spilled from her daughter's lips. She had learned long ago that things came with time, and that there was no point in rushing them. It was something that a wolf learned when living with and loving Gargoyle, the ever patient wolf that Ocena had given her heart to. When the question finally came, Ocena tilted her head slightly, considering her answer thoughtfully. She wished to tell her daughter the truth; lying to the youngster felt wrong, somehow. But it was difficult to fix her thoughts into words that would make sense to her daughter. "I think that everything changes in time." Ocena spoke carefully, "From wolves to flowers, and everything in between." But that was the easy part. As for the rest, well... "I have always believed that within all good, there is a kernel of bad. And within all bad, there is a kernel of good. That's how the world works." Why did her daughter ask such things? It made Ocena worry, though she would wait until she had finished to question her. "So yes, I do think that a bad wolf can, if they choose, become good. And that things can happen the other way around. I don't think that it happens overnight. I think that it requires a lot of work for a wolf to rewrite themselves. But I think it is possible. Your father is an example of that, you know. He has been many things, and even now he fights with himself, at times." Was it fair to tell her daughter that? Perhaps, and perhaps not. But Ocena believed that it would help Orica with whatever moral dilemma was going on behind those pretty eyes, "As for how you know when it has happened, for that, I think you just have to trust yourself to know." Perhaps not the best advice that a mother could give her daughter, but Ocena had never claimed to be perfect, and indeed knew that she fell far short of perfection. But now, Ocena turned her gaze upon her daughter, focusing sharply on the youngster before her. "And why, my dear, do you ask?" What's going on with you? Who has made you question such things? She wanted to ask, but she didn't. Instead, Ocena contented herself with a simple, innocent inquiry. Had her daughter learned some dark secret of their father, one that made her doubt him? Surely not. How could anyone doubt the goodness of the wolf that she loved so dearly? So it had to be something, or someone else. Speech

Cut me loose My parachute won't let me fall Don't be afraid of a chance for a miracle ~*~ Orica waited for answers with baited breath, a breath which slowly but surely was released as the conversation began in earnest. Her mother had such a way of talking... Orica hoped she could be like that one day. Wise. Calm. Helpful. Not to mention pretty. Orica wasn't the vain sort or anything, but she kinda wished she'd been born with one red eye - just to be more like her momma - or maybe one gold eye so she could look like her dad. Oh! Where was her mind going? They were talking about important things here! She reapplied her focus. "-I do think that a bad wolf can, if they choose, become good.-" So there came the heart of the answer. It was what Orica wanted to hear, and more than that - it was delivered in a way that clicked with her own thoughts. Her own instincts. It made her feel that what she'd done and how she'd reacted had been alright. Still stupid in it's own way perhaps, but, morally, it was right. "-Your father is an example of that, you know.-" For a moment Orica's eyes stretched wide. Did that mean- no no no of course not. Her mother probably just meant that Dad had lied a couple of times or maybe even done something as bad as steal prey from another's pack land - the sort of things that he told them never to do. Those were naughty enough, of course, but no where near the caliber of crimes that Orica was talking about. Even if Ocena didn't understand completely, her words still meant mountains. Everything she said made sense, but it gave the girl hope. As the little medic sat before her mother's paws, she wondered what that all meant for Demyan. She wondered what he was doing out there. How his wounds were healing. Whether or not he kept his word and didn't forget her. "-trust yourself to know-" Ocena had said, well Orica didn't know anything about that yet. As far as she knew this was just a one time meet. A chance run in designed by fate and an angry moose. "And why, my dear, do you ask?" Orica practically flinched out of her thoughts. She was getting the full-on mother stare, and suddenly her mind just blanked. Of course her mother would ask that - it was a most natural thing to ask.... so why hadn't Orica come up with anything to say if she did? Dang it. Why couldn't mothers ever give a little advice for free? "Ummmm," It was the only thing that could come out of her mouth at first. It was times like these when little Orica wished she could be more like her silent cousin Cross - tight lipped and steady eyed. Her blue peepers were glancing all over the place nervously, finally just settling down at her paws like magnets. "Noooo particular reason." ~*~

Ocena bit back a smile at Orica's antics, but that smile faded quickly, and soon Ocena was left only with worry and a hint of irritation. She was worried, of course, because Orica was lying, and why would Orica lie? And irritated for the same reason. But why would her young daughter lie to her mother? It was a small comfort to Ocena that the female was terrible at it; it meant that she clearly was not practiced in the art. That was good, but watching Orica's eyes dart around made Ocena narrow her mismatched eyes slightly. "Pretty strange questions for my daughter to ask for no reason," Ocena settled on saying, ears twitching slightly as she spoke. What was there to say? Ocena hoped that Orica would confess her true reasoning without much prodding on her part. "Tell me, Orica, what do you know of your father's past?" It was a simple enough question, but one that had a lot of weight behind it. Was her father the wolf that Orica asked about? Or someone else all together? Ocena wanted to know, but she wasn't going to push it just yet. If Orica didn't want to tell, well, perhaps Ocena would tell her a story first. Her daughter deserved to know just a little. It wouldn't be too dark, of course. But perhaps it was the kind of story that Orica needed to hear. A story of changing from bad to good, and finding happiness. Speech

Cut me loose My parachute won't let me fall Don't be afraid of a chance for a miracle ~*~ Orica heard her mother's words and, if anything, hung her head even lower. Her cheeks burned, her ears felt as stiff as wood. She couldn't help it. She was scared to tell the story - it was long and dangerous and, well, started with her directly disobeying her father's instructions not to go out alone. But that was only a part of it. Mainly it was because of the wolf she'd met. How was she to begin to tell about the grey hunter or how they'd saved eachother's lives. No matter how she put together words he would come out sounding no different than any of the other murderous rogues they'd had to deal with. ...Maybe he wasn't. But no no she didn't want to believe that. Her mother's words had given her hope for him. And that was when her mother brought up Gargoyle. Again. Why did she keep doing that. Orica's head popped back up at the strange question. She cocked it to the side as she started going over the tales she'd been told by her various family and packmates. Crusadie was the main source of all this information. Orica still hadn't really made up her mind on whether the one eyed wolf was her second mother, her aunt or her grandmother, but she did know for certain that she was a good storyteller. "Well," the girl began. "I know he met you on the border of one of the old Glaciems. And I know you guys all went through da big explosion together. Oh! And it was after that that Daddy was asked to be Chief of Glaciem and he has been ever since - no matter what that brown lady said." Had Orica been any younger, she would've left it right there. Simply awaiting praise for all that she knew. But she was smarter now. Her thoughts and feelings and senses had at least a little more depth. She was trying to figure things out - not just what was said by why things were said. "Momma... why are you bringing up Dad? He wasn't..." she hesitated. This was silly. Ridiclous and worse than that - it might get her into trouble. But... something told her to ask. "He wasn't some kind of... bad wolf was he?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth she stiffened, getting ready to flinch from the gasp of hororr that was sure to come from her mother at the very idea. Orica knew that her grandaddy Drake had been a bad guy once, but somehow that was still just a story. ~*~

Whatever was going on with Orica, she seemed to be truly upset, and Ocena didn't push it just yet. These things would come to light with time, and it would do more harm than good for Ocena to force her daughter to explain what was going on. She either would or she wouldn't. It was time for Orica to begin growing up anyhow, as hard as it was for Ocena to admit, which meant she could largely make her own choices. But Orica was far from an adult just yet, and Ocena hoped that her daughter would explain soon enough. Until then, however, it was enough to explain a little something of her father's past. A smile warmed Ocena's features as Orica explained what she knew. It wasn't much, but it was a place to start. "Your father? He was, well... He's why I believe in good within bad, and in wolves being able to change." She had personal experience in what her daughter was asking about, and maybe it would be enough to soothe whatever doubts afflicted her darling daughter. "It's not so simple as 'bad' or 'good.' Your father is and was a complex wolf." Did she believe that the world was black and white? Well, maybe this would shake things up a bit. Show her some shades of grey. Ears twitching, Ocena examined her daughter thoughtfully. She obviously didn't know all of Gargoyle's past, didn't know everything about him. And maybe he wouldn't want their daughter to know what he knew, but Ocena thought that it might be the right time to explain a little something of their family history. "Your father, well, before he returned to Glaciem, he was a member of another pack. A darker pack, one that killed more often than was needed. And he lived there for a while, killing and fighting other wolves." Well, she wasn't exactly about to start dropping details on Orica just yet. She would keep things suitably detail-less, at least for a little while yet. She didn't want to give her daughter nightmares, just some answers. "But the wolf that he was back then is different from the wolf that he is now. He lived for the kill back then, and bloodlust ruled him. It took him a long time to change himself, to rework himself into something different. But he did, and I did my best to help him. It wasn't easy, and I can't pretend that I know how it feels to change yourself like that, but he is living proof that is possible, if a wolf is willing to put in the effort. All I could do was be there. It is something that a wolf has to do by themselves. They have to want it. If you're the only one who wants them to change, well, they're not going to." Would that be enough? Would it settle whatever doubts plagued her dearest daughter? Ocena hoped so. She knew that Gargoyle's past was no fairy tale, but her questions were deep ones, and ones that deserved a proper answer. If Orica had sought her out to ask these kinds of things, well, it was Ocena's duty as a mother to answer them as best she could. Speech

Cut me loose My parachute won't let me fall Don't be afraid of a chance for a miracle ~*~ No gasp or chiding came. Just quiet, paused words. It was that hesitance that let Orica know she was in for something big. The story came out little bits at a time. Orica just listened and watched the features of her mother's face. By the end, the wheels in her head were spinning. It would be hard to anyone to guess where her thoughts flew at such a time. But luckily, the glimspe into her father's past, though perfectly truthful, was delivered in a vague enough way that the girl was hardly horrified. She knew that her father, though born in one of the Old Glaciems, had spent years away. It wasn't hard to believe that being away from such good wolves and growing up amongst bad ones could put thoughts into a creature's head that weren't meant to be there. And from Ocena's description, Gargoyle hardly came out sounding like one of the monsters - one of the killer rogues who slaughtered random innocents for fun. It sounded more like Gargoyle had just been a soldier who'd chosen the wrong flag to march under, and perhaps after a while he'd come to like the fighting and killing that he did a little too much. In theory it wasn't hard for Orica to wrap her head around, but she had serious trouble trying to reconcile such an image of the past with the wolf that she knew today. But then, maybe that was the point! Gargoyle had changed. Completely. He protected his packmates, but he was nothing like he was once. And that meant - that meant there was real hope for the grey hunter - for Demyan! Though of course, just like Ocena had said, he'd have to be the one to want it. It was up to him. But at least Orica could say that she had been there to give him that second chance at a life that now he knew he could change. She'd talked to him, and he'd gotten to the point where he felt obvious guilt around her. And he'd protected her. And she'd ended up telling him a story about another wolf who'd changed his ways - Drake. Seemed like it was a family legacy. Orica's little shoulders bobbed with a deep breath. "Thanks Mama," she said quietly - and then, realizing how strange that must sound considering what she'd just heard, the girl finally relented and elaborated. "It's just... I met someone yesterday and well...-" she cocked her head, remembering her mother's words, "-he was a complex wolf. But I don't know. I like to think there's a chance for him." ~*~

Thank you? Ocena would have raised a brow at that, if she could have. As it was, she settled for tilting her head slightly, examining her daughter thoughtfully. What was she thankful for? Ocena had just told her that her father was not the saint that she had probably believed he was. And her daughter was thankful? Something truly was afoot (apaw? did it matter?). Luckily for Ocena's curiosity, her daughter continued soon after, elaborating on what had had her acting so strangely. "Well, my dear, I don't doubt you. You come from a long line of wolves who have helped the most complex of wolves change." Did she fall into that list? Ocena hoped so. She wanted to believe that she had helped Gargoyle on his path to becoming the lovely male that she adored so. "If you believe that he can change, then I believe you." It was hard to believe that her children were growing up so, but they were. Orica was going to be all grown up in a short while, and Ocena had to let her make her own decisions. She couldn't force Orica to never do anything, to stay at her side forever, and if Orica thought that she could help this wolf, well, who was Ocena to stop her? Of course, she wasn't about to let Orica go crazy with helping this wolf. But Orica was growing up and she had to make her own decisions. Just like Galileo, just like Avalon. "Just . . . be careful, darling." Ocena had to say that. She had to. Orica was her daughter, after all, and for all of Ocena's lofty goals of letting her daughter be her own wolf, she worried about the youngster. Speech

Cut me loose My parachute won't let me fall Don't be afraid of a chance for a miracle ~*~ Orica could see the caution on her mother?s face. She hoped her statement wouldn?t give the good wolf too much to trouble over. Plus she felt a little guilty for her light reaction about her father?s past. It was something to wonder about, certainly, but so long as Orica knew none of the details, her mind could assure herself of the best, most vague option. It was her dad after all. Demyan on the other hand? she?d heard the horrible things he?d said ? and with such language! She knew he?d been a monster. The things he?d said he?d done were the same things that her father and Awaken had killed wolves for doing, and? and rightly so. Yet he?d showed guilt. That counted for something right? Some hidden recess of his personality, some faint glimmer of goodness had been showed. Not only had he spared the medic when she?d ended up shouting at him, but then he even went as far as to nearly kill himself saving her. How was Orica to disregard something like that? But at the same time, as far as Orica knew, this was where the story ended. They?d had their meeting and soon she?d be headed off to another land. Perhaps one day off way into the future their paths would cross again, but if the grey hunter fell back into his ways, then no, she didn?t wish to ever lay eyes on him. She?d rather be left with just this memory. With the hope for better things. Her mother, however, was speaking as though it were some on-going mission. It meant a lot ? hearing how her mother really and truly trusted her daughter. It meant so much; it gave so much confidence. To hear that her mother already had faith in Orica?s heart and decisions? That meant the world. On hearing it, the girl could not suppress her tail curling with pleasure and giving a flurried wag. She stretched out her muzzle with a little warbled whine of wordless thanks. ?-Just?be careful darling.? Orica shook her head gently at that. ?You really needn?t worry mother. It-it was just a one time thing. A chance meeting.? One that Orica was lucky to survive. She wasn?t making any plans to have a similar encounter for a long, long time. Orica stretched forward a bit more to nuzzle her head into her mother?s neck fur, just wanting a brief embrace to show her thanks for letting the girl share her secret ? and wanting the security that only the presence of a mother can bring. ~*~

Say what you wanna say, And let the words fall out. Looking thoughtfully at her daughter, Ocena examined the petite female as she spoke. "Mothers worry," The female answered with a flicker of a smile crossing her features, "It's just something we do, you know." The female leaned down to nuzzle the youngster lovingly, meeting her embrace with one of her own. It had been a while since any of her children had gotten so close to her. Galileo had never been one to show much affection, and she had not had one on one contact with Avalon in some time. Ocena was surprised to realize how much she had missed this. "How did you meet this wolf?" Ocena questioned curiously, ears twitching in her daughter's direction. If such a wolf had trespassed upon Tortugan territory, she would have to alert Gargoyle. Her mate would not be pleased about the thought of a stranger trespassing upon the lands of their new home, but if Orica had wandered, well, Ocena would worry less about her pack and more about her daughter. Ah well. She would worry about everything. As she had said to her daughter, it was kind of a mother thing. Coding by lutara/kat Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.O C E N A ,

Cut me loose My parachute won't let me fall Don't be afraid of a chance for a miracle ~*~ Orica's tail batted back and forth as she was welcomed by her mother's embrace. So comforting. After the crazy day she'd had, she needed that. More than she'd realized. Her mother's assurance that she would still worry, was something the little healer ought to have expected though. Along with what came next: "How did you meet this wolf?" Orica started without meaning too. Once more that terrible awkwardness crept over her. Her eyes trained down her paws. She couldn't risk them accidently meeting her mother's. Why is it that mothers had this power? They could worm out even the deepest set secrets. Not that Orica was a stone wall or anything. But she blinked furiously, trying to come up with something to say, knowing that every split second of hesitation meant that the gravity of what she was holding back, grew greater and greater. Two things held her tongue: Firstly, the fact that she had gone against her father's direct order when she'd gone out by herself, secondly that if she said too much about Demyan... well - she just couldn't get her family involved. Dangerous or not, she wanted to give him the chance out there. He'd saved her life and he'd said he'd never forget her. That meant something important right? He could change given the time? Orica didn't know if she could lie about both things. Eventually it would become obvious that she hadn't met the other wolf here on Mt. Volkan. Finally, the girl swallowed, and prehaped to speak. She still looked down, but this time out of guilt of what she'd done, not what she was saying. "I... I left the borders. I went out for a quick run and that's how I met him." The reluctance in her voice resembled metal scraping against metal. But, there it was. The secret was out. She sighed heavily, and finally raised her chin. "I'm sorry mother," she murmured. She didn't have much hope on the last bit, but she tried it anyway, "Please - please don't tell Dad." Oh! she could just imagine those disappointed yellow eyes looking down at her. No no. She didn't want to! There could very well be punishment along with the confession, but that took second place on her list of fears. First place was just feeling so terrible - like she'd actually hurt one of them. Like she'd been a terrible person to even think about going out there. And what made it worse, was that she couldn't honestly say she wished she hadn't. She saved a life, and perhaps... perhaps even a soul. She couldn't tell that to her parents, but the inner knowledge of it made things a little easier to bear. ~*~

Say what you wanna say, And let the words fall out. Ocena examined Orica sharply, her mismatched eyes fixed on the young female as her daughter began to explain herself. Her words were halting, almost nervous sounding, and Ocena remembered the days when that had been her. When she had tried to avoid letting on about where she'd been and where she was going. Those hadn't lasted for long, though. Ocena had left her pack before she'd really had time to get used to lying, and then she was only accountable to herself. But Orica, it seemed, was a better wolf than her mother had been and she was confessing the truth. Nodding her head slightly, Ocena lowered her head slightly to gaze into her daughter's eyes. "I'm glad you told me the truth, Orica." Ocena spoke kindly, moving in an attempt to nuzzle her daughter lovingly, "It's all right, my dear. Soon enough, we will all be leaving the borders. There's no point in my being upset." Ocena twitched her ears as she pulled back from her daughter. Settling back easily, Ocena flicked her tail. "For now, I think this will be our secret. I would rather not worry your father, and there doesn't seem to have been any harm done. I can't force you to never leave the boarders again, but be careful." She would worry about her daughter if she left, of course, but Ocena knew that it was a part of life. Pups grew up and left the nest. They began to explore and wander the world. It was simply how things went. There was no point in getting upset. Worrying, on the other hand, was entirely acceptable. Coding by lutara/kat Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.O C E N A ,