shame me for my mistakes
tika
11-14-2021, 07:57 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-14-2021, 08:01 PM by Audra. Edited 2 times in total.)
![]() A lot had changed in a few weeks' time. She had met Avantika, fallen quickly head over heels, left Valhalla, explored some of Auster, joined Avantika and her family for the Hallows' feast, and ultimately ended in the demise of losing her eye after meeting the mysterious figure in the cloak for the second time. It was all a bunch of too long, didn't want to hear about it, but her life had changed. Permanently. Whether she felt it was for the better or not, her heart was broken. How could she have been so stupid? To think she could risk her own life for the temptation of receiving good things? From a mysterious figure in a cloak at that. Audra blamed the crystals growing along her body. Her mind was a fog of confusion and pain. She honestly couldn't think straight and hadn't been thinking straight since the plague had begun to develop. Scattered thoughts led her to somewhere she'd never been before. Something was calling to her. The drip, drip, drip of water cascading off rocks sounded tempting. Off in the distance, not that she'd noticed, the sun never rose. Light surrounded her by only the moon and waning auroras filtering throughout the sky. Peculiar and if she'd been in the right of mind, she'd wonder more about it. Forgetting that she even enjoyed searching for herbs, all she could do was pine for the wolf she'd once been, not only a month ago. With half of her world blind now, it took more effort to see her environment. Her ears flicked back and forth as they usually did and her fur could feel the creeping warmth of spring begin to subside over winter's frosty grasp. At least, she still had those senses. But her tongue was coated in the ooze that flowed from the crystals lining her lips. Her one good eye had to blink often as ooze would trickle down from her ears where they hung heavy on her forehead. Like many others across the land, her body was adorned with soft glowing crystals that grew in size overnight. Originally, Audra had tried to pluck them from her skin, but it was painful and seemed reluctant now to even be removed. How had she let this happen? She was a healer after all and she was supposed to be able to prevent these things. Feeling tired and groggy, the smaller girl walked slowly to the splashing pool of Cedar Falls. Among the twilight of the night sky, her body reflected light as if she were a beacon calling death. Pain ached in her body as she settled down to lay in the chilly shallow waters. Resting her chin on the muddy embankment, Audra closed her one good eye. She wouldn't blame Avantika if she didn't have feelings for her anymore. To her, she was useless and broken. Who would want to stay with someone like her? speech |
![](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/932047168343269447/1086342237190881430/audra_gif.gif)
audra's companions are to be assumed next to her unless stated otherwise
11-15-2021, 05:18 AM
Avantika was feeling worse and worse as time went on. The crystals on her eyes and ears had grown much larger and heavier. If they got much bigger, maybe they'd completely replace her eyes or tear off her ears with their weight or--she needed to stop thinking. She wiped at her eyes for the hundredth time that hour. There was more and more fluid, too. It dripped wherever she went, leaving trails on the ground.
Her body felt like it was falling apart. Splitting headaches wracked her skull. She was cold, shivering all the time. If anything tried to attack her, she wouldn't have the strength to fight it off. That scared her. Everything scared her. But it was fading, into a space of simple exhaustion. She was too tired to be scared now. She was walking dead.
The water dripped off of the rocks. Drip. Drip. Avantika was suddenly awake, but her mind only saw the water. Why did she want it so much? Oh, to be warm and wet and feel gentle waves lapping at her body. She lay down in the shallows and felt something not wet beside her. Fur. A wolf. A spark of recognition lit up her frozen mind. "Audra?" She said the obvious, "I'm tired, Audra."
Avantika is prone to panic attacks. Keep in mind when roleplaying with her.
Her companions, a female sharp-shinned hawk named Kaata and a black-thighed falconet named Kit can be assumed to always be close by unless otherwise stated.
Her companions, a female sharp-shinned hawk named Kaata and a black-thighed falconet named Kit can be assumed to always be close by unless otherwise stated.
11-15-2021, 11:06 AM
![]() Lost in a reverie of depression, swallowing her whole until the surroundings around her faded into fog, she was unaware of the wolf that came near. Her breathing was shallow as she rested her one good eye. Though her ears turned, listening to the soft plop of paws against the wet ground, she did not stir. If it were someone coming to end her, she would welcome it. Feeling heavy from the weight of the crystals growing over her body, she sucked in a breath of ooze. Breathing was harder now, but she would cough up what she could and wipe the ooze from her eyes. Succumbing to a puddle of oozy mush right there on the shore, she was surprised to feel a brush of fur against her body. Plucking her good eye open and with a slight turn of her chin to look at who had come, her heart skipped a beat before sinking. How would it be fate that the one she cared about most had ventured here? Had it not been her goal to be sad alone? Feeling her stomach sink into a dark pit, she frowned before nestling closer to Avantika. Water lapped over both of their bodies as she felt the abrasion of crystals scratch against her skin. The pain was normal now and something she could easily forget about. Welcoming the warmth of the water wash over her matted fur and Avantika's body beside her, she touched her nose to that gingerbread cheek she had so easily fallen for. "I'm tired too," Audra whispered, closing her eye once more. I'm sorry if I ruined everything. I'm sorry if I'm not who you expected me to be. I'm so sorry. The thoughts trailed through her mind as her throat felt scratchy and dry. There weren't enough words in the world for her to explain how she felt. "I might have some herbs in my pouch that could help," her soft honey-dipped voice broke the ebbing silence as she pulled away slightly. She wanted nothing more than to curl up with Avantika around a warm fire, covered in pelts, and to watch the sunset. It was a nice daydream that she wasn't sure would ever happen. Raising her chin to look down at the water-soaked leather pouch around her neck, she carefully pulled it open and dumped out the contents. A myriad of dried plants spilled out onto the grass in front of them. Their floral scent hit her nose and forced her more awake than she had been in a while. Looking it over, Audra decided to pick out some elderberries, juniper, lavender, and marshmallow. She had other things such as lamb's ear, marigold, and horsetail, but there wasn't nearly enough to cover their crystal infest wounds. "Please, eat some, maybe it'll help," she coaxed what she had toward Avantika before consuming some of it for herself. It was hard to swallow and it tasted bitter on her ooze-covered tongue, but she hoped it would do something. "After all of this is over if we survive, would you still want to be with me?" The words left her lips as she finished eating. Surprised by her own courage, Audra looked away with her chin curled toward her chest. It had been stupid of her to ask, but she had to. She had to know if there was any hope. Hope that this plague hadn't taken over the one thing she had wanted most in her life. Audra had wanted a future and someone to love and care for. A pack to come home to. Somewhere to even call home. Something to look forward to. Her heart ached as the stillness of night overcame her. |
![](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/932047168343269447/1086342237190881430/audra_gif.gif)
audra's companions are to be assumed next to her unless stated otherwise
11-17-2021, 06:29 PM
Audra--this was Audra, she was sure--leaned into Avantika as she lay beside her. The desire for more water to surround her body surrendered to the peace of simply pressing close to her girlfriend. She wanted to wrap her arms around her and hold her even closer. Not to do anything, but just to cuddle and feel their heartbeats against each other. Maybe that would help to cast a shield around them. But she didn't. Audra pulled back a little to give her herbs, and she took them silently. They were bitter-tasting, but she hoped that they'd help.
Audra spoke again, asking if Avantika would still want to be with her when this was over. The question stunned her into silence for a moment. "Of course." Of course, she wouldn't give up on Audra. If it was about the eye, well, that didn't mean anything. Resin only had one eye, and she was probably the best fighter that Avantika had ever known. And...
This was a horrible thought. But Avantika couldn't help but think it, for only a second. If Audra were weak and half-blind, maybe she'd need her to protect her. Avantika wanted to be needed.
But there was another thought, too. "Would you still want me?" she asked. Sometimes it was subconscious, and sometimes it wasn't, but Avantika always felt that her job was to protect others. If she got seriously disabled, what would she do? She couldn't imagine having to rely on others without being about to repay them, and she didn't have any skill in healing or anything else that she could do if she couldn't fight. She'd have to live off of charity. It was terrifying.
Avantika is prone to panic attacks. Keep in mind when roleplaying with her.
Her companions, a female sharp-shinned hawk named Kaata and a black-thighed falconet named Kit can be assumed to always be close by unless otherwise stated.
Her companions, a female sharp-shinned hawk named Kaata and a black-thighed falconet named Kit can be assumed to always be close by unless otherwise stated.
11-17-2021, 08:38 PM
![]() Pleased that Avantika had listened to her about eating the dried herbs, she wished deep in her being that something would happen. If the sickness was organic, there surely had to be an organic cure for it. Right? They were wolves after all. There wasn't anything more advanced than her ability to find plants, dry them, and make them into concoctions. Or was there? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she was tired. Deeply tired and sad. So sad that if it wasn't for the ooze brimming around her eyes, she might have cried. Avantika's reassurance that she would still want her when this was over made her heart flutter. So her losing an eye hadn't really done anything to their feelings. Maybe it had for her because now more than ever, Audra felt needy. She needed help getting around. Needed someone to help her and make sure she wasn't going to get hurt again. She needed Avantika to protect her. When her girlfriend posed the same question to her, Audra turned her face toward the girl with a gentle smile. "I will always want you. Someone has to protect me," she whispered so softly that she nearly didn't hear herself say it. Reclosing the distance she'd created between them, Audra carefully placed her cheek against Avantika's. Closing her one good eye again, she secretly wished that her dead eye's lid would close too. But now that her body didn't need to get the hole moist, there was no need to blink. It truly was a creepy thing to see as she had spent many hours staring into her reflection to inspect it. A shiver ran down her spine as she was reminded of the first time she'd seen it. Never again did she want to see it. "I hope these herbs help something, even if only some of the pain goes away," her voice is a mumble against soft fur and hard crystals. The warmth of Avantika's body enveloping her was such a good feeling that she never wanted to leave her side. Listening to the lapping water around their bodies and the drum of the falls behind them, Audra almost falls asleep. |
![](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/932047168343269447/1086342237190881430/audra_gif.gif)
audra's companions are to be assumed next to her unless stated otherwise
11-18-2021, 04:30 PM
Audra answered Avantika's question in affirmation, sending a rush of love through her. She let herself press against the woman for a moment before something clicked. She didn't move away, but she stiffened a bit. She couldn't let herself be comfortable; she was never really safe. How could she forget that? She whispered, "What if I can't?" and turned her head away so that she didn't have to look at Audra's face. She was terrified of the answer, but she continued. "What if I get hurt and can't protect you anymore?" This time was uncertain. If Audra could get hurt, then there was no reason Avantika couldn't as well.
She stayed quiet, thinking on her own.
Avantika is prone to panic attacks. Keep in mind when roleplaying with her.
Her companions, a female sharp-shinned hawk named Kaata and a black-thighed falconet named Kit can be assumed to always be close by unless otherwise stated.
Her companions, a female sharp-shinned hawk named Kaata and a black-thighed falconet named Kit can be assumed to always be close by unless otherwise stated.
11-18-2021, 07:40 PM
![]() She could feel Avantika suddenly stiffen beside her and she grew worried. Had she said something wrong? Keeping her eyes closed, Audra frowned slightly as Avantika turned her head away. The questions the girl posed made her heartache and her stomach twist. Desperately wanting to assure Avantika that she had nothing to worry about, her stomach twisted again. This surely couldn't be her feelings messing with her. Fretting silently to herself, Audra's eyes opened as her own body stiffened. Oh, no. No, no, no. Maybe the plants she'd eaten had been a bad combination. "I-I'll be r-right back," Audra stutters out quickly as she hastily removes her body from the shallow waters to find a spot where Avantika couldn't see her. Suddenly, as if she'd eaten a laxative, she felt the need to defecate. As soon as she was out of her girlfriend's sight, Audra's bowels released themselves. Luckily, it had been quiet, but it surely didn't smell right. Turning to look, her one golden eye widens in fear. It was glowing? Her actual shit was glowing. Glowing! Gasping, Audra stepped back and glanced over to the falls to make sure Avantika hadn't followed. Deciding she wasn't going to tell Avantika about the new occurrence of her body, she waited another minute to make sure her body wasn't going to surprise her again. Looking one more time at the pile of glowing shit, she scowled with a shake of her head. She couldn't believe it. Glowing shit. Walking back over to where Avantika was, Audra stopped at the edge of the water. Looking down with a forlorn expression, she stared at her reflection. "Why is th-," Audra's words stop short as her jaw drops. Her TONGUE was glowing too? Frightened now that something indeed was wrong with her, she stuck it out and turned her head so that her good eye could see it better. "Do you thee thith?" Audra asked with her tongue still sticking out. Moving her chin so that it faced Avantika better, she stuck her tongue out even more for a second before pulling it back in. "What is going on with me!?" The cry leaves her lips before she flops onto the ground. "What did I do to deserve this?" Audra whispers quietly as a tear well in her eye. |
![](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/932047168343269447/1086342237190881430/audra_gif.gif)
audra's companions are to be assumed next to her unless stated otherwise