The more time passed the more it felt like some inescapable but abstract thing. Deathbelle continued to get old, she felt herself slowly deteriorating as she clung to the remnants of what her life had once been. From the highest title in the land, to feeling lower than the dirt beneath her speckled paws. Habari gave her a lot, a purpose above all else. Routine, going through the motions, that was why she was still here. Belle hadn't found her old spirit, she grasped for reasons to feel needed, but nothing would bring back what was stolen from her. Life was dull, like the color had been drained from everything that had once given her joy. The taste of good food became bland, the sun’s light was diminished, crystal clear waters were foggy.

She held onto guilt that didn’t belong, especially the one that she lived with daily. The fact that she wasn’t strong enough to pull herself out of it, nor find the will. Like her spark had been snuffed out Deathbelle was little more than a warm body. She paced through the days, making that mindless trudge to the inevitable end. Part of her had given up already, that was evident in her emaciated frame and sad coat.

The other part of her kept ot habits and traditions like they would save her life. The once Empress waded through the grasses of the gulley. It had always been a home to the delicate and rare herbs and healer needed. The new life a greenery helped to brighten the light in her eye and lift her steps. But she remained a pitiful sight.

The party had gone alright, she supposed. The visit went well enough. She met a whole slew of wolves that she had already forgotten. Really, she'd gone because Sirius had asked it of her. Now that her obligation was met, she'd go back to The Hallows for a while. Home or not, she had to at least go back.

The greenery of the gully was comforting and familiar. She'd spent quite a bit of time here in her day. Back before... well... back when she was happy. That seemed like ages ago. She'd lived and died and lived again since then. A little snort of amusement left the emaciated fae as she moved through the plump, green grasses. As she walked, movement in the grass caught her eye. Instinctually, Iolaire leaped much like a fox, landing with her odd little appendages directly on the mouse. The landing snapped its back, killing it instantly. She put the tail between her teeth and stood still, watching for the next rustle or flash of brown fur. By the time she was done, there were three plump mice hanging from her teeth by their tails.

More shifting in the grass pulled Iolaire's attention and she was ready to pounce again, but it wasn't a mouse that her green and gold eyes fell upon. It was a ghost. Those eyes widened as they looked upon the too thin form of the woman that she had once loved. Her mouth dropped open a bit and the trio of mice fell to the ground, forgotten. Io's brows furrowed in sadness at the state of the fae that had always taken such great pride in her appearance. "Oh Deathbelle..." she spoke softly, giving her own unkempt head a shake.

A shadow of the woman she once was, Deathbelle waded through the warm grasses. At the very least the world’s warmth had made her comfortable. The weather did not reflect her icy heart anymore and taking small trips out of Habari rejuvenated her as much as could be expected. The once Empress had had her happiness, many times over her lifetime, but she hadn’t been able to keep it. Despite her blessings and everything she was thankful for, life had become hollow and meaningless. Nothing was the same since Sirius abandoned her.

Having everything she had always wanted ripped out from under her changed her forever. She wanted so much to be done with this place, this life, but that feeling of guilt weighed hard on her. Seer commanded her to stay here and stay alive but how could she continue like this? There was no light at the end of the tunnel anymore, her offspring were all adults and making their own ways in life. Even Veigar was becoming the independent young wolf she knew he would be. No one needed her and it felt like she was becoming less of an asset and more of a hindrance.

Maybe that was why she was out here now, trying to prove that there was still some kind of use in her weary body. Those heavy thoughts lingered in her mind as she pawed lightly at a delicate plant in the grass. So concentrated on the plant and her own mind she was taken by surprise at the sound of her name. Once vibrant violet eyes lifted to find a hauntingly familiar form.

She’d seen Iolaire, somewhat recently, but she was different. She hadn’t been the woman she fell in love with. Now, her gold marked eyes held clarity that hadn’t been there before, and in them she saw pity for what Belle had become. The once Empress averted her gaze, shamed at the place she had fallen to. She hadn’t even seen the similar condition Iolaire found herself, not when her own failures consumed her. ”You shouldn’t have to see me like this.” She whispered, unable to bring her eyes back to Iolaire’s angelic features.

Iolaire could see the shame on her former lover's features as realization struck her. The words that came out of Belle's mouth brought the smaller fae's ears tucking back against her skull as she shook her head. Shrugging out of her pack, the tri-colored fae crossed the distance between them and wasted no time in pulling Deathbelle into her embrace. Io wrapped her forelegs around the speckled woman's neck, pulling her in close, their foreheads pressed together.

She didn't know what time had done to Deathbelle, just like Deathbelle wouldn't know what time had done to her. It was clear as crystal though that they'd both been through the ringer. Perhaps the clearest thing that Iolaire had seen in quite some time. Time had done them wrong. They were older now. They had gone through experiences that had altered them irreparably. It showed in their appearance, in the way they held themselves.

"I promised long ago that I would always be there, and I wasn't," Io started, her tones a soft whisper. "I'm sorry for that." She had been swept up in Roan, in his loss, in her own insanity. If seeing the ghost of her former mate hadn't grounded her, seeing Deathbelle like this definitely did. As she held the woman close, she could feel the bones in her. She could feel just how much she'd let herself go.

A memory flashed in her mind. Sirius had mentioned something about hurting Deathbelle, but Io had been so twisted and turned in her own mind that she could barely remember it. So, in the end she softly asked, "What happened?" All the while gently stroking the former Empress' neck in soft, rhythmic motions.

Iolaire should have left her there. Deathbelle was hardly social around the rest of the pack, let alone a woman that she had once loved. Guilt filled her and weighed heavily on her shoulders. It didn’t cease as Io was suddenly there, her gentle arms wrapping around her neck as she pulled her close instead of pushing her away like she should. Belle couldn’t resist the warm pull of her once love. Iolaire brought their foreheads together and Deathbelle felt a strange relief. A lightness that overtook her, as if Io pulled the weight of her shame away like pulling back the curtains of a dark room.

Soft words were whispered against her muzzle as Iolaire reminded Deathbelle of a much different time. Before Hannibal, before Magnus, before Sirius had… Belle swallowed a lump in her throat, she had thought that so long ago she had cried her last tears. That these emotions are so far past her. She had thought that she had already been through all of the pain she could feel and then Iolaire spoke.

Belle shook her head lightly against Io as she apologized. There was no reason, they had both found their own paths and drifted apart. She had the Empire to worry about and Io had her wonderful husband to travel the world with. They had their own lives to see to, and even if it hurt to tell her goodbye she knew they had to walk the paths they had taken. And somehow those paths brought them back together now. Belle could feel how thin Iolaire was against her own tattered pelt, and it was obvious they were both worn down and weathered to their breaking points.

Iolaire spoke again, and all of the moments with Sirius returned to her. The bliss and happiness she’d had for those few weeks. The culmination of her life long desire and then when he’d taken it all away and promised her the rest of her life suffering from that loss. Seer did more than break her heart or simply hurt her. He destroyed her, life no longer felt worth living, and yet she struggled along, because he’d asked to see her live through this torture. He snuffed out her bright light when he rejected her, when he forgot about her.

Tears began to fall like rivulets down Deathbelle’s cheek. She had already cried her heart out for him and again she felt overwhelmed by it. She grit her teeth as her knees buckled and she fell to the grass in a helpless heap. She thought she had finally held her emotions at bay, but as she relived it everything came crashing back down on her shoulders like a tsunami. ”I had my happiness. Everything I’d ever wanted.. And then.” She couldn’t even say it. Reality hurt far too much. He crushed her and dug his heel in to finish the damage. By now Belle was sobbing, the emotions so carefully hid away to allow for her to function were revealed and they swiftly grabbed the broken woman and overwhelmed her.

Iolaire held Deathbelle close, determined to not let the woman go. They'd been separated for so long and it was clear that neither of them were in the best places in life. The smaller woman's brain was still too fuzzy from her time being dead that it was hard to process any sort of pain in the living world. She knew that Deathbelle was hurting, but she didn't know what to do about that hurt. It was deep seeded, she could see. Io's time away had made her less of what she had once been. Her mind didn't cooperate now. She no longer was cool and collected and she didn't always know just what to say. That would have come in handy right now.

Eventually Deathbelle spoke, saying that she'd found happiness and that it had all been pulled from her. Gently, Iolaire stroked the speckled woman's head and ruff, pulling her claws gently through the fae's fur. That was something that Iolaire could understand. "I'm sorry, love." She then slid her cheek along Deathbelle's, holding her closer and placing their chests together. Io's cheek rested in the thicker fur of the other woman's ruff. "I know how that is, unfortunately." Her voice was soft, but Deathbelle would hear.

When Roan died, Iolaire had lost everything. She had lost her purpose, her path, any confidence or happiness that she had. Iolaire, the greatest healer that she knew, had let her own husband die. It struck her hard and brought her low. She died with him. It seemed that Deathbelle had died with the end of the happiness that she'd found as well.

Perhaps it was time for a bit of tough love? Io pulled back enough so that she could meet Deathbelle's gaze with her own. The smaller woman's brow furrowed and she began to speak. "Happiness or not, the world moves on and so must we. We have to remember who we are, what we've accomplished, what we've been through. It will be hard, but we have to pull ourselves together. There are still those out there that rely on us." She was preaching to herself as well. It was time to get her shit together. It was time for Deathbelle to get her shit together too.

Iolaire's gaze softened somewhat and she placed a gentle kiss to the side of Belle's muzzle. "At least we won't have to do it alone." Her voice was hopeful. Neither of them had anything. Why shouldn't they have each other? Perhaps they'd moved past the point where they could be lovers, but they would always be friends. They could bolster one another's resolve, help one another return to a semblance of what they'd once been.

"Deathbelle & Iolaire"

The way Iolaire held her felt like she wouldn’t ever let her go, and as she breathed her in and surrounded herself with her Belle held her the same way. Like she had appeared years ago after Archon’s death Io appeared to her now, a balm to her soul as she suffered alone. Deathbelle wished she could cling to the numbness that held Iolaire, maybe life would be easier if she didn’t have to feel so deeply. The abandonment destroyed her all the way to her core. Deathbelle felt sorrow and pain before but losing Sirius so completely after he finally let her in, there were too many moments where she wished that she was dead.

Io held onto her like no one had in so long. She had hugs from Veigar but there was something very different about Io’s embrace. The way she stroked the back of her neck and let her claws trail through her fur. The knowing way that she held her, it was more than the fact that Iolaire knew her, it was the understanding that embrace brought. She knew the pain she was harboring, she knew the loss because she had felt it herself.

There were understanding words whispered in her ear as Iolaire shifted, pressing her chest to Belle’s as she wrapped herself more completely in her. Deathbelle sobbed with a soft sigh that fell from her lips, both of them were broken and as she felt Io’s arms around her the reality sunk in heavily. She already knew there would be no fixing what was irreparable. Tears fell down her cheeks as the emptiness ate at her and then Io was pulling away.

She whined softly, not sure she could stand the woman leaving her now, but it was only then that their eyes could meet. Deep royal purple with emerald gold. For just a moment Belle was transported to a different time. A day when she was much younger and naive to what her life would bring her. She wondered what would have happened had she not let Iolaire go that day so long ago.

Then it was whisked away, a memory on the breeze as Iolaire reminded her of truthful facts that she tried to ignore. The world moved on if she was happy or not. Really, it wasn’t the happiness that was gone, it was knowing that she could never have those feelings and emotions again. Like life had lost its purpose when he turned away from her. No one needed her anymore, she didn’t feel like she belonged here, daily tasks were like taking on a mountain. She had to push herself, and she was getting so tired.

Belle didn’t argue the thoughts that swirled in her mind. Her features revealed the hopelessness she felt. But then Io was leaning forward and as she placed that innocent kiss on her muzzle she felt a warmth begin to spread over her body, a hint that she was still alive. Then she whispered into her muzzle and told her the fight wouldn’t have to be made alone anymore. That was when Deathbelle felt herself become fully vulnerable to Iolaire. The tension in her body gave out and she nearly collapsed against the other woman as the emotions bubbled up and spilled over. Tears rained from her eyes as she clung to Io like she was the only anchor keeping her there. Deathbelle didn’t have any more words, just the feeling of relief. Instead of facing a dark tunnel Io provided a light of hope far down at the end.


"Deathbelle & Iolaire"

Tears fell from lavender eyes and Iolaire grimaced when her own face was out of view. She didn't like seeing her former lover so broken. Didn't like it one bit. However, it did raise a bit of fight in her. She would take care of Deathbelle. It would give her purpose. Something to live for. Something to occupy her time and possibly bring her back to a semblance of what she once was. Iolaire was a fixer of problems, a teacher, a mentor, a friend, a hard truth, a loving embrace. She was all of those things even though she hadn't been for a lifetime.

Her words seemed to break a dam within Belle and the speckled fae cried harder. Io continued to hold her for a time, then decided that they needed something else. Somewhere more comfortable to be. "Come," she said softly, pulling away to scan their surroundings for a suitable spot. With summer claiming the land, it was a little warm for dark coated ladies like they were. Io was feeling the heat beating down through the foliage up above. The minuscule fae moved through the gulley, glancing back every now and again to make sure that Belle was following.

In time, Iolaire came to the perfect place. There was a little stream and a dip in the land with a rocky overhang. It would provide them with shelter from the sun and the water and rock would cool their dark pelts. Reaching into her satchel, Io pulled out a skin. It was thin and had been oiled to be waterproof, but it would be enough to shield them from the dirt and rocks that they would be laying upon. Spreading it out, Io placed her bag atop it. It was large enough to use as a pillow if either of them were so inclined. After that, she motioned for Deathbelle to join her upon it. "A bit of rest will do us both good. Come on." Her tone broached no debate from the larger woman. Io settled upon the pelt and waved Belle over again, holding her foreleg up, already ready to embrace her once more.

"Deathbelle & Iolaire"

It was hard to remember who she was before sometimes she had fallen so far from grace. One thing she hadn’t lost was her desperate need to be loved. She found it to a degree in her family, especially the young faces that surrounded her, but she needed so much more. It was easy when she was Empress, she loved that her subjects loved her, but now she had no one. No one that needed her and no one to take care of her. She wasn’t strong enough to overcome the deep pit she fell into, and as it as the days she was able to souffle through the motions were numbered. She was wasting away.

"I’ve needed you.” She whispered softly through her sobs as Iolaire held her quietly, allowing her to show the extent at which she fell. Revealing the vulnerabilities that weren’t so visible as her weakened state.

Even now Iolaire knew what she needed. The smaller woman pulled away gently, ushering her away from the blazing sun. Something Deathbelle didn’t even feel anymore. She followed with no protest, easily led away in her foggy state. They came upon a gentle brook and rocky outcropping. Iolaire always knew how to scope out the perfect place to settle down. Carefully the woman lay out both blanket and pillow and without hesitation beckoned the once Empress forward.

Iolaire would have no argument about resting here in the shade and Belle would give her none, for her only desire at that moment was being wrapped up in Iolaire’s arms. There was a warmth growing in her, it started at her shoulders as it soothed away much of the tension in her body. Dainty paws brought her to Io’s side there on the oilskin. Craving the feeling of having her close as she was reminded of a moment in time when there was no greater love than hers.

Deathbelle let Iolaire wrap her arms around her as she pulled the smaller woman to her chest. Her tears had dried up, like she had shed the sorrow of what once was and accepted this path that she had not seen before. Iolaire pulled her out of the darkness and allowed Belle to find the way to recovery. The way to life and hope. She sighed heavily into Iolaire’s dark fur as she buried her features there. "Don’t let me go.” She begged quietly, taking Iolaire as her lifeboat.

"Deathbelle & Iolaire"