With the latest bear driven off and the two lone boys given the all clear by Irilyth she was able to relax again. She was already eager to get her band back to the island where she wouldn't have to question their safety as often, but there was business that needed to be tended to first. Once their alliance with Ashen and Fenmyre were reinforced and they all had a chance to sharpen their skills they could return to where they truly wanted to be. She thanked Irilyth for her help and sent her handmaiden away, the brothers resting comfortably now in the den she shared with Alastor and her children. The rest of her little family was out for the time being so they wouldn't be disturbed and it would give them a chance to get some rest until she was able to prepare them their own space. She peeked into the den and saw that Chade was fully asleep, but she could still see the gleam from Ricin's ruby gaze. She slipped inside quietly, coming to rest near the lighter of the two brothers. "How are you feeling?" she whispered, easing down onto her stomach near him.

Manea | Temno | Ciemny

The fight with the bear had been terrifying, the possibility of losing Chade had shattered the lighter boy’s world and caused him to be reckless. Ricin had been thrown against a tree, bruising the pup and scrambling his brains slightly but, in the end, they had both survived… and that is all that matters. Menea had saved them, had them looked over by a healer and, when they were given the all clear, the purple wolf had led the brothers to her den. They had bedded down and Chade, exhausted from the events of the day, had quickly fallen into a deep slumber. However, thoughts of the botched fight and feelings of failing kept the lighter boy up. Curled up close to his brother, Ricin watches the darker pup’s sleeping form, keeping watch even while they are safe. He watches Chade’s relaxed features, pondering once again if Chade had made the correct choice.

Movement near the opening of the den has the lighter pup lifting his head quickly and wincing. Manea slips in silently, padding over to him and the pup once more lowers his head. Her voice is soft, kept low to try and prevent waking the sleeping brother. Crimson eyes turn to look into oceanic depths and Ricin can’t hide the raw emotions that lurk in his gaze. Failure, disappointment in himself, and sadness all leak out, solidifying into tears to slide down the lighter pup’s cheeks. When he speaks, his voice is soft and low as well. In part, to try from waking Chade up but also to try and hide the emotions that roll under his tones. He says, “I’m fine Mrs. Manea, thank you. Well, I guess… physically I am.” Shifting his head slightly, Ricin looks at his sleeping brother before turning back to Manea.

Shame fills his voice as he says, “Can… can I tell you something? You remember how I told you about how we got here? I… left out a part... and... I think you need to know it.” The tears still leak down his cheeks but Ricin pays them no mind, needing her to know he is a weak-link in the chain and that he will not put his own safety above the others members of her band. Swallowing thickly, Ricin awaits permission to speak of the dark secret that hunts him to this day.


"Speech"

A frown pulled at her lips as the boy turned his ruby gaze toward her and she saw the tears that had gathered there as he replied that he was okay—at least physically. She had never been the most adept when it came to emotions. She came from a way of life that killed those that weren't worthy of carrying their name and exiling their loved ones when they broke their code of laws. It was only really after she met Alastor and birthed her twins that she began to understand the vastness that emotions could take and the depth that they could form. Ricin was clearly the one that was more in tune with his emotions and with less of a hardened shell out of the pair, but she knew that wasn't necessarily a weakness. She gave a small, curious and concerned tip of her head when he mentioned the story of how they arrived here and expressed that there was more he wanted her to know. She gently lifted a paw to his cheek, brushing away some of the tears that spilled into the pale blue fur. "I'm all ears," she assured the boy quietly, an encouraging smile pulling slightly at her lips. Whatever it was it wouldn't change her view of the pair, but if it was something he wanted to get off of his chest then she certainly wasn't going to stop him from speaking his truth.

Manea | Temno | Ciemny

Ricin sees the frown that tugs Manea’s lips downward and he tries to fight the rising feelings of failure. When he asks her permission to share something, a purple paw reaches up to brush the tears from his cheek. The touch is gentle, loving, motherly and the lighter pup finds himself leaning in toward it even as the paw retreats. Her reassuring voice has more tears spilling and Ricin turns his eyes toward Chade’s sleeping form. With a soft, slightly fear filled voice, Ricin explains, “After dad died… mom kicked us all out. We tried to survive, all five of us, but as the others to died… Chade and I grew… closer.” How can he explain just how important that was? How can explain how much it meant that, in their unstable, shifting world, Chade had never left him behind.

Turning his gaze back to Manea, Ricin continues, his tone almost pleading as he begs her to understand, “You… you have know that… my mother hated me most of all. In her eyes, I was the weakest, stupidest, most useless of the litter. But… but Chade didn’t see that.” Shaking his head sadly, trying to dislodge the tears that wet his fur, the light pup continues, “He… just… he saw me. When the others would gather and play, he always made sure that they invited me. I… I never felt alone as long as Chade was there.” Now came the difficult part. Hesitantly, Ricin whispers, “It was just him, me, and our last sister. We were running from a bear. Chade was ahead and I was next and we were running. Then I…”

His voice falters, dropping a moment before looking straight into Manea’s eyes and whispering, “I fell. A tree root tripped me. I should have died right there. But Chade dropped back, knocked our sister down while I recovered and run. My sister died so I could live.” The guilt spills down his cheeks and Ricin turns his head away from Manea, trying to hide his face. After a moment, Ricin adds, “I shouldn’t be here. I worry that Chade made the wrong choice and… that I will get him killed.” Silence falls as Ricin tries to stifle the sobs that collect in his throat. With the truth out, Ricin waits for a purple paw to strike him, to call him weak and useless. It is the least he deserves.


"Speech"

Manea listened as Ricin began to speak, beginning his story with the fact that after their father had died their mother had kicked them out. It was hard to keep her temper in check at that even though there was obviously nothing she could do about the sorry excuse for a mother now. She knew all too well from how her own mother had acted that going through something like losing a mate could drive someone to do terrible, irresponsible things, but never could she ever condone something like leaving pups so young to their own devices. It broke her heart to hear that there had once been so many of them and that Ricin and Chade were forced to watch them dwindle one by one. Her blood only boiled more when Ricin explained that their mother had hated him from her perceived notion that the boy was stupid and weak, but she had seen nothing of the sort form him in the time that they had been together. While she obviously favored the skill in fighting over others, she also knew the value and the validity in other talents. For this woman to not see the same was shortsighted and cruel.

At the very least she was glad that Ricin had Chade to help him. It sounded like the poor boy certainly needed it and Chade had proven himself to be an extremely devoted brother. As Ricin began to explain the run in with a bear that they had along with their last remaining sister she could already see how this would go given the fact that the two boys were here and there was no girl with them, but she remained quiet and allowed him to speak the truth that he seemed determined to tell her. She was surprised to hear that Chade had been the one to knock their sister down in order to buy time and get Ricin up so that the two boys could escape, however. She glanced toward the darker of the two brothers for a moment. It was a smart move, if a bit ruthless, and given how close the pair of them were she couldn't fault his decision. If anything it told her that he was willing to make tough choices to protect the one he cared about most and it didn't feel too different from her own way of thinking.

Bringing her attention back to the boy as he expressed how he feared Chade had made the wrong choice and that he would end up getting his brother killed. Seeing him sob under the weight of such loss and pain that no wolf his age should have had to endure made her heart ache and she wished she could pull all of this suffering from this sensitive boy. Reaching out a large paw, she gently wrapped her foreleg around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her and tucking him against her chest. Even though he wasn't hers, he was for at least this moment in her mind and she comforted him the same as she would either of her pups if they were upset. She gently licked away his tears and nuzzled the top of his head as she held him, letting him sob as long as he needed. She might be a ruthless fighter and a bloodthirsty killer in some aspects of her life, but with pups she would always find the most gentle touch.

Once he was able to calm down a bit she looked down at him with a kind, but serious gaze. "Ricin, what happened is terrible, but it was your brother's truest expression of love for you. In my family, no sacrifice is taken lightly and each one has a purpose and a significance to it... Our beliefs and our culture are entirely centered around making sacrifices for the betterment of our own. Because of our sibling's sacrifices you and Chade were able to live and survive where you might not have been able to with five mouths to feed." She pressed her nose to his crown, giving him a gentle squeeze in her embrace. "Sometimes we have to trust that fate and destiny have made the right choices for us—that whatever path we are being led down is the one we are supposed to be on. The two of you made it here where you can be safe and fed with a roof over your heads. Where it takes you next is up to you. I only hope that you continue to make the most of the gifts you have been given."

Manea | Temno | Ciemny

Ricin talks and, while at first, he was afraid that he might be saying too much, the words just keep spilling out. And Manea listens to him. She does not berate, interrupt or ignore him, instead offering an ear when the pup needs it most. A deep, yearning stirs in the blue pup’s chest as he wishes that his mother had been like her. Instead, the wolf who had given him life had held nothing but contempt for her pups and Ricin had borne the brunt of that hate. All his other siblings were born strong and healthy, following in their father’s paw steps and showing an aptitude for fighting or hunting. But not Ricin. He had been doomed to be ‘weak’ and follow in his mother’s stride. For some reason, that fact only seemed to make her hate him all more.
While his siblings got to spend their time learning with their father and getting to bask in his loving praise, the light-hued pup had been forced to stay near the den and wait for their return.

The wolf had given him life would hurl insults and objects if he tried to enter the den, forcing the pup to wait out in cold winter elements for his siblings to return. Ricin still remembers the day his dad died, how his siblings had come running home, crying and shouting for their mother. The woman had followed the trail back to the scene of the carnage with the pups following timidly in her wake. That was when everything changed… that was the moment they were cast out on their own. Emotion chokes his words, as he remembers that dark day, causing his voice to be hesitant at times and completely breaking at others. But all the while, Manea listens. She rides the waves of emotions with him, never interrupting his confession.

When the last words fall from his lips and Ricin works to stifle his sobs, the lighter pup keeps his gaze diverted in fear that the kind wolf will strike him. The light boy feels broken, a mess that is beyond anyone’s help and he curses himself for not being stronger. Because his eyes are averted the pup misses the moment she reaches a large paw to him. So, when Manea wraps her foreleg around his shoulders, Ricin stiffs in dread and turns, wide, tear-filled eyes to the woman’s face. He expects to find anger and loathing there just the like mother had every time she looked at the light pup. Tears still cascade down his cheeks and, when he finds something akin to love on her features instead, Ricin completely loses what little control he had over his emotions. She pulls the crying pup to her chest, as he allows her to as everything comes pouring out.

Manea licks away his tears, nuzzling his head and holding him. Ricin cries into her chest, frame quivering with the effort of suppressing his loud sobs. Time loses all meaning to the light-hued boy as he cries and relishes the motherly love he has never felt. Eventually, the tears slow and peter out, leaving the pup feeling wrung out and like an open, exposed wound. The fear in Ricin screams to pull away, to get out of Manea’s reach for the inevitable smack that is sure to follow. But he cannot leave her embrace and instead nuzzles further into her chest as his hiccups and shakes. Bright, red eyes look up to her kind face and he finds the woman looking back at him. Breath hitches as she speaks, Ricin’s guilt working hard and to drown out her words. But the pup fights the ingrained response, instead latching onto what she has to say.

When she presses her nose to his crown, Ricin’s heart flutters wondering if this is what having a mother is supposed to feel like. He leans into her touch as he listens, turning slightly so his gaze can fall the darker form of his brother. After she finishes speaking, the lighter pup just sits there, leaning into her while looking at his brother. The hiccups finally subside and determination fills his chest. Eyes still locked on brother’s form, Ricin speaks softly, his tone filled with hope for the first time in… well, since he can remember. He says, “I love him Mrs. Manea. He was willing to sacrifice everything for me. And… I would give up everything for him.” A gentle smile appears as he continues, “I think you are right, that fate brought us here for a reason. And… I am grateful that we get to be here... with you.”

The brothers have slowly learned that things happen for a reason and whatever thread ties the pups to Manea and her family, Ricin is eternally thankful for. Dark-colored eyelids start to dip as the weight of the day and releasing pent up emotions finally take their toll. But he forces himself to stay awake, just for little bit longer. Ricin turns his tired eyes to Manea and says, “I don’t want to leave. I want to live here with you, forever. I want to prove my worst fears wrong and show just how worthy I am to be alive.” A yawn splits his maw, interrupting his speech for a moment. Eyelids begin their slow march downward and it takes even more effort to force them back open. Tiredly, he mumbles, “I will sacrifice anything to be able for us to stay here with you.” Yet another yawn and his head dips as he blinks his eyes back open. When had they closed? Sleepily, Ricin asks, “Mommy, can we stay here?” The pup’s drug and sleep muddled brain does not pick up on the fact that he called Manea mom.

As another yawn escapes, Ricin pulls away from the purple wolf moving to curl up with Chade. Truthfully, the pup would love nothing more than to fall asleep in her safe, loving arms but the brothers have always slept curled around each other. Muttering unintelligible words to himself, the lighter-hued pup gets comfortable with Chade and finally closes his tired eyes. They quickly shoot back open, fear resting behind his crimson gaze and he turns to Manea, asking, “You are going to be here when we wake up… right? This… wasn’t just a dream?” The anxiety melts away slowly as the exhaustion tries to lull him to sleep. Ricin fights it, needing to hear her answer before dropping away into the currents of sleep.


"Speech"

A gentle smile pulled at her features once Ricin seemed to absorb what she told him while looking at his brother, speaking about how much he cares for Chade and his agreement over her idea of fate. Hearing that he was grateful to be with her, with their band, warmed her heart and made her hug him a little tighter. When she set out to create this group that she hoped would one day evolve into a permanent pack it had solely been for her family to establish a place of their own in these lands—a place where they could practice their beliefs in peace and live their lives how they wanted to live them. As time went on and they slowly gathered more and more wolves that they took under their protection, she was beginning to realize how much more than that it was. Seraphina, Chade, Ricin, Irilyth, Kichi, Relm... None of them shared any blood relation to her, but she knew she would still defend them as if they did. They had become a different kind of family for her, one born out of care for them instead of obligation.

His tired, red gaze found hers again as he told her that he didn't want to leave and instead wanted to live here where he could prove his worst fears wrong. Her smile widened as he yawned, clearly fighting sleep, his eye lids drooping as he continued on about how he would sacrifice anything to stay here with her. He truly was such a sweetheart, a pup too kind for this cruel world, clearly the gentle side of Chade's hardness. Before she could respond he blinked open his eyes for a moment to ask her another question, this time catching her off guard as he addressed her like his mother. She blinked with surprise, her ears flicking uncertainly. He reminded her so much of Nirvana in the early days of her pup hood before she fully understood what happened to her mother. Her niece would refer to her as her mother and back then it had been hard to correct her. She had loved the girl as much as she now loved her own children, but in the end she had made it clear to her niece that she had certainly raised her as her own and considered her a daughter, but she was not her mother. She had the same feeling now looking at Ricin's sleepy face, but she didn't have it in her to correct him. At least not right now. "Of course you can, darling," she replied with a little smile. "You know you can. You don't need to ask."

Eventually the exhausted boy slipped away from her and she loosened her embrace to let him go, watching as he moved over to Chade's side to snuggle up to the darker colored boy. Seeing them together reminded her of her older sister and the way they would lay much like this through the night for most of their days as pups and yearlings and it made her chest ache with longing for the family she had lost. She tried not to think about Kallisto too often, but when she did it was always with yearning and sadness over the fact that her sister was taken from her far too soon. In the end her sacrifice had been a worthy one and an inevitable one, but it still pained her. Manea was pulled back out of her own thoughts when Ricin suddenly opened his eyes again and questioned her, wondering if she was going to be here when he woke up and whether or not this was a dream. She smiled again and got up, padding over to where the two boys were laying to give Ricin a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise. Now get some sleep." She waited till Ricin's eyes closed again and she saw his breathing even out into little, sleepy snores before she quietly stepped away, moving toward the front of the den to lay at the entrance just to make sure no one would come in and disturb the sleeping boys, her thoughts still thousands of miles away.

Manea | Temno | Ciemny