After putting the purple whore in her place, Aslatiel led Indigo from the feast and back towards the mountainous caves that the pack shared. It was obvious that she was upset. There were flecks of Duchesses blood clinging to her pale cheeks. The purple man followed as they entered their temporary den. Thankfully the rest of the wolves, including her children, were all out enjoying the festivities. She had some things to say to her brother that other ears need not hear.

Once they were within the den, Aslatiel rounded on the massive purple man. "Do you enjoy being upset? Because it certainly seems like you do." He kept letting Duchess back in. The horrible woman had some sort of hold on him and Asla didn't like it one bit. Yes, they'd made children together. Yes, those children had died. Bad shit happened, you dealt with it and you moved on with your life. Indigo wasn't capable of this, however, and Aslatiel had to clear the air lest she begin to resent her brother.

"The world isn't a kind place. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, Indigo. You either learn to deal with it or it will eat you alive." The fae's galactic gaze stayed upon his big blue eyes. "This is what I had to deal with in the Armada. I stayed strong and took care of business while everyone around me fell apart." She wanted him, but she didn't want this. Asla intended to be his partner, not his mother. "It would be nice to have someone do that for me, for once." Naiche had been more of a partner. She hadn't had to protect him or dance around any sore feelings. It had been a simple partnership and they both pulled their weight. With Indigo, it felt as though she was pulling him along behind her on a sleigh.

The fawn and grey fae sighed and her voice softened. She raised one dark toed paw to knead her brow. "You lost children but so have endless numbers of wolves throughout time. We would be extinct if everyone fell to pieces every time that there was a death." Again she sighed, the anger falling away to leave only frustration. "I don't hold it against you for having emotions. It's one of the reasons that I love you, but you're letting it rule your life. You're letting it sour you and, in letting it sour you, you're allowing it to sour us." Asla's haunches folded and she sat on the cold stone. Suddenly she was very tired. "I want to give you a piece of what you've lost, but I can't do this unless you're whole. I was a single mother once. I won't do it again."

The woman's gaze pleaded with him. Being together was all that they had ever wanted, but he was ruining it by holding on to the past to the point where it was turning him into a ghost. "I need you to be strong, Indigo. I need you to be a partner. Do it for me. Do it for the future pups that I bear, but most of all, do it for yourself. You don't deserve this sadness. You've paid your dues. Now is the time for healing, happiness and joy." If this didn't work, Asla didn't know what else she could say to him. She was at her wits end with the whole situation.

"Aslatiel Indarra"

He wasn’t sure he believed in magic or sorcery, curses or blessings, but he did wonder what it was that made him fall to pieces beside Duchess. She embodied everything he had been unable to do the wolves that he failed, and the children he lost. Part of him wanted to save her still, to deliver her from the hole they dug for themselves. But by now Indigo knew full well if he let her grab his paw she would drown him. Aslatiel knew it too, that was why she had blood staining her pelt.

As soon as they were alone Asla turned and caught his sapphire gaze. She had seen him and known what Duchess did to him, ripping open the wounds that were beginning to heal. After he talked to Aslatiel about his lost puppies and confessed how much he missed them, Indigo began to make a change for the better. Just telling her about them helped to put them to rest in his soul. Maybe it hadn’t been as visible, but he was healing. He wasn’t the shattered man he had been when Aslatiel returned to him.

Aslatiel scolded him then, just like he was one of her own children and he frowned. What she said was true, he needed to hold himself together. He knew it and wouldn’t deny it, but he couldn’t help how he felt either. It was like a gnawing at the back of his head and in his heart that ate any kind of happiness he tried to hold onto or foster. He sat back as Aslatiel went on, trying to convince him out of the depressive pit that swallowed him of none of his own accord.

”I know, Aslatiel. Do you really believe I enjoy this…” He lifted his paw as he trailed off, eyes on the dark pads beneath thick furred toes. He clenched his toes together and lowered his paw back to the ground as he sat back. ”Just seeing her though… It was all fresh, like I’d had no progress at all from the day it happened.” Indigo confessed to her. She told him what she needed from him, and he was asking to bear one more burden with him. She wanted to be partners, and he couldn’t share this with her. It wasn’t fair, to her or to him.

”But it also made me realize that progress was possible, that I really had made strides against it. I never would have without you. I know you need me, I’ve failed you before and I wont again, I just need a little more help, for a little longer.” He pleaded with her softly. Indy wanted to wake up tomorrow and feel alright again, but how could something so deep and terrifying be overcome in one night? He couldn’t help himself then and closed the distance between them, aiming to hold her to his chest, to reaffirm she was his. Forever. There didn’t have to be any more tears, his heart’s desire was here in his arms.

Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

He seemed a little taken aback by her outburst as he should have. Aslatiel was upset. Indigo asked if she thought he liked being like that and she knew that he didn't, but he continued to put himself in situations that would knock back the progress that he'd made. Why couldn't he be a little more like her? Or Az? Not much, just a little. Enough to make him strong enough to be okay and to get through this. She couldn't always be the strong one. She needed to be able to rely on him, especially if she was going to expand their family. There would no doubt come a point in the future where he would run into Duchess again, hopefully when Asla was there so she could kill her, but he would have to be able to hold it together. She couldn't live every day knowing that he could fall apart at the merest flash of purple fur. That, at some point, he might see that filthy whore again and leave her to care for not only future children, but him as well. Aslatiel loved Indigo. She loved him so, so much, but she needed more from him. She needed him to push himself, to come to terms with the children lost and focus on the children that he may yet have. She wasn't asking him to forget them, only to accept that they were gone and that no amount of sorrow could or would change that. The massive purple man crossed the room and she allowed him to take her in his arms. Asla rested her scarred cheek against his fluffy chest and sighed as he spoke. He needed more time, but even he realized that he'd made progress. Indigo asked for her patience and Aslatiel closed her eyes. "A year," she informed him softly. "You've been a ghost for an entire year." He'd told her when Duchess had lost his pups. Winter of the previous year. He had mourned long enough. He'd lost himself for far too long. Aslatiel drew back enough to fix purple eyes upon blue. "I need you to try and I need you to try hard. You've made progress, yes. Imagine though when we have sons and daughters. They can't see their father like this, Indigo." One small paw raised to slide along one amaranthine cheek. "I love you. Our children will love you. I'm not asking you to forget, I'm just asking you to let go." 'Be who we need you to be' was what she left unspoken. "Asla" -- "Indy"

He knew that she wouldn’t say anything that she didn’t mean or feel was true, but the words were still difficult to hear with everything he felt. He had made progress from the beginning, he could feel it when he’d seen Duch. Indigo was particularly weak at this moment as they arrived ta the year anniversary and his mind worked double time to imagine what could and should have been. Aslatiel let him embrace her and he could feel her warmth and her hope just as his arms wrapped around her shoulders. He could feel her exasperation and frustration in him, and even as he asked for patience she spoke how long he’d been like this. How very long he embraced the sorrow and let it rule his life. Would it have hurt as much if he hadn’t lost his band and the dreams he cultivated at the same time? Did he mourn those wolves he lost as much as the puppies he wanted so badly to be here? She spoke again, and Indigo realized how right she was. He gave them a year of his life, he mourned for a year, and surely that was plenty. He had to pull himself up because life didn’t stop, everyone kept moving while he was stuck in the same place he was a year ago. Anything he did now would mean nothing to the dead, he was just wasting his life when he could be moving on and embracing the next big things, which he was doing right now. He had Aslatiel wrapped in his arms, just like he had always wanted, but none of this was fair to her. She deserved all of him, not just the ghost that he had become. She deserved more from him. Not only that but their future children deserved so much more. All he had to do was release, to let go and trust that Asla would catch him and that he could stand on his own four paws. He’d felt what it was like to be broken, now it was time to rebuild. "I’m sorry, Aslatiel." He whispered to her as he buried his features into the thick fur of her neck. "You deserve more, they deserve more." He told her as one massive paw shifted from her shoulder and down to hold her soft belly. "They wouldn’t want me to live like this," he knew it. He knew he needed to be stronger, to hold himself up, but he felt so deeply. "For you, I will." He promised her as he held her tight, still feeling the deep ache in his heart, but also the swelling of deep love and affection he had for her. "Asla" -- "Indy"

Indigo held her close, his face buried in her fur just as hers was buried in his. He told her the words that she wanted to hear, but she wondered when and if they would come to fruition. He placed a paw on her svelte stomach and a small grin pulled at the fae's maw. She didn't know if she was pregnant yet. The words that she'd used against Duchess were just said to harm the woman. There was hope there, however. Either now or soon, Aslatiel would begin her journey to motherhood once again. "I know you'll try," Asla whispered to him, wrapping her forelegs around him in turn. As much as she could, anyway. "We've gone through so much to be together and, once we have children, we'll go through so much more. We both need to be strong for the pups that we'll make." It was no secret that pups produced from their union would be looked down upon, especially by their family. They would need to band together to make their children as strong as they needed to be so that they could deal with such adversity. "I don't want to chastise you and I don't want to mother you, but I can't keep my tongue. Not about this." Her voice was soft as she spoke. Asla never wanted to hurt Indigo, but she couldn't in good conscience give a child to someone that couldn't give his full self to her and to them. They both knew that she was brutally honest. Of all the things that she could have said, she'd been rather kind in her words. She had to express her concerns. Holding things back wasn't something that she wanted to do ever again. Asla shifted, kissing the man's purple bearded chin. "Just be with me, okay? A true partnership." Small paws stroked his cheeks as her gaze searched his own. "I'll protect you always, but you have to protect me too, and our children." The tawny fae drew her paw back and punched Indigo lightly in the shoulder. "And you have to protect yourself. You're so, so important to me you giant oaf." There was humor in the woman's voice, but sincerity as well. She wanted him to be well and whole more than anything. "Asla" -- "Indy"

Indigo held her and Aslatiel held him in return, her delicate arms entwined his neck as she spoke to him softly, showing the faith she had in him while still reminding him of everything he had to lose if he failed again. She told him that she wasn’t the only one to need his strength, their future children would need both strong parents. He took in a deep breath and steeled himself. There was no real argument, he had plenty of time to get control of himself and his emotions. He allowed himself to feel the pain and grasped it like it was all that he had. Maybe it was all he had left of those precious bundles he had, and letting go of his sorrow was the final release of his hold on them. One that had already failed to keep hold. "You say exactly what you need to, and no matter how hard it is, I need to hear it." He whispered back to her, nuzzling her cheek as he shifted slightly and pressed his muzzle against her. She moved and kissed his chin, pressing her lips to the thick fur under his chin. He rumbled pleasantly, letting himself be overwhelmed by her. Indigo breathed her scent in deeply, felt her warmth against him, and relished in the kisses she gave him. All of it worked to chase away all of the heavy emotions that gathered beneath his skin for so long. "I’m here." He returned softly, his breath on her lips as she spoke. She pulled away slightly, enough that she could punch his shoulder to prove her point. "I’ll be here, forever on guard to protect my family." Aslatiel was his family now. This decision to become mates wouldn’t sit well with many, if any, of their kin. They would have to be strong for any children they raised. "You’re too important for me to fail again." He lamented softly. This was the second chance and it would not be squandered. Aslatiel meant everything to him, he couldn’t lose her again. "Asla" -- "Indy"