CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
─ Flashback ─

"Stay here, I'll get around the other side and chase it back to you." The mountain was dangerous, but it wasn't something he was afraid of. The warning look he got from Malachai reminded him to be careful before any words could and after a soft, lingering kiss Grimshaw was off quickly in pursuit of the mountain goat that they had been hunting. Moving onto the far side of the animal, Grimshaw carefully made his descent down the side of the mountain and towards the goat to force it back towards Malachai. His footing wasn't solid, rocks slipping out from underneath him as he moved across the almost-skree field. The mountain goat was quick to catch on however, bounding off in the direction it was supposed to go. However, Grimshaws weight was working against him now. The ground was moving too quickly beneath him and he scrambled to get to the rock ledge the goat had been standing on just a moment ago.

He was slipping, but he managed to grab a hold of the rock ledge before it was too late. Most of his weight dangled as his claws dug into the stone in an effort to pull himself up. It wasn't working though, too much of his weight was hanging. Malachai was coming to him before he could call out, his panic forcing him to lose his words as he desperately tried to pull himself up. His hind claws kept scraping on the mountain side underneath the ledge, but kept slipping. Frantic silver eyes looked up to Malachai as he felt the man grasp each of his forelegs, his claws digging into his flesh for extra support. The leverage allowed his hind legs to find purchase on the mountain side beneath the ledge, though it wasn't for long. They slipped once again, leaving him shifting closer to the edge despite Malachai's strength. They were both scared, it was clear on their faces, but Grimshaw was slipping and Malachai had to let go.

Grim didn't know what would happen when he fell. He didn't want to know either. "You need to let go. I love you, Malachai, it'll be okay." He promised, when in fact he couldn't promise anything. While his fall wasn't far, the descent down the rest of the mountain would be painful and despite trying to not think about it, he knew it would be a miracle if he survived. Whether Malachai let go or he fully slipped, Grimshaw fell. His body hit the side of the mountain with a solid thud and he would quickly begin to slide down the steep face.

─ Present Day ─

Grimshaw woke with a sudden sharp breath of air and wide eyes. It hurt more than anything so it wasn't long before the man started to whine while frantic eyes bounced around the room he was in. He started to pull his legs towards him in an effort to lay upright, but his aching muscles protested. He fought against it as his eyes struggled to focus in the dark den. "Malachai?" The fear in his voice was clear, even if it was raspy from weeks of rest.

every second i'm without you i'm a mess

CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
Malachai had been very aware of the shale that shifted under their paws, had been distracted by it almost to his own detriment, but the goat the pair had been stalking was close at hand now and for all he worried Malachai wanted to bring the hunt to an end as much as Grimshaw did. The plan was a simple enough one and he knew his boyfriend to be a skilled enough hunter to pull it off. The goat had eventually come bounding back up over the ridge and Malachai had started to give chase, expecting to see Grimshaw out of the corner of his eye but the man never returned, it only took a few seconds really, but it was enough for Malachai to know something was very wrong. Their meal was forgotten, his heart hammering in his chest as he skidded down the slope towards where he'd last seen Grimshaw heading.

The image of Grimshaw desperately clawing at the edge of the cliff would engrain itself into his mind, he would see it in his nightmares for years to come. Time seemed to move in moments for him then. He was desperately closing the distance between himself and Grimshaw, then his claws would dig into Grim's paws, his mismatched gaze wide in horror. Then Grimshaw's words, in that moment they'd felt like the world crashing down on him but in his memory, the exact wording would be fuzzy drowned out by the emotions surging through him. He managed an "I love you too." And then Grimshaw was gone, falling beyond his grasp. There would be two things that Malachai would never forgive himself for that day. The first was not leaning forward to grab Grimshaw by the scruff and haul him back over the precipice, the instability of the ground beneath him had paralyzed him, kept him from shifting his weight towards that hungry drop, and the second was letting go, Grimshaw was slipping and Malachai's claws tore at his fur and flesh as he slipped and at some point, Malachai let go... He hadn't wanted to, but in the fog of panic for some reason the damage being done to his boyfriend's forelegs had been the clearest thing to him...

What happened next Malachai could not say with total clarity, not even the order of events was totally clear to him, he'd managed to make his way down the mountainside safely, managed to get help, managed to get Grimshaw back to their room, had paced around their room as healers looked him over before they ended up kicking him out for being too overbearing while they worked, at some point he'd fallen asleep and had had to be poked awake by one of the healers. Grimshaw was stable but the exact extent of the damage was unknown, the tumble down the mountainside had left his body bruised and it was unclear exactly how much he'd hit his head, he was warned that there was a chance that if Grimshaw woke up that there might be severe memory loss. Malachai hadn't failed to notice the way they'd hit that if.

The days after had blurred together, Malachai hardly slept, he'd done his best to only take on jobs that wouldn't take him too far from their room, when he wasn't out doing that he didn't leave the bar area at all. This was the second time he'd had this feeling, the helpless fear of losing Grimshaw even when he was within physical touching distance.

That night the man was on the balcony, Grimshaw had been tended too earlier in the day and the healers had gently reminded Malachai that he needed fresh air too, Grimshaw's body was healing fine, he'd be sore for sure but provided he was able to get up and exercise in due time the man's muscles would recover. Malachai didn't bother to ask what would happen if he wasn't able to get up. The blue marked man stared up blankly at the night sky, the winter stars were as silent as they'd ever been but it was all he could think to do, he tried not to think of how much he wished Grimshaw was awake so they could watch the world together, tried not to think about how he couldn't seem to remember the exact words he'd last heard Grimshaw say, couldn't even seem to get his voice right in his head...

"Malachai?" The voice, raspy but lifting in panic made the man's chest tighten. Malachai did not think, he just moved, spinning around on his toes to rush back into the room, mismatched gaze instantly snapped to where Grimshaw was. "Grim!" Malachai breathed, the relief palpable in his voice. Malachai probably looked like shit, there were bags under his eyes and he'd probably lost a little weight, he'd hardly been able to stomach food after all. He approached the man, instantly wrapping himself around Grimshaw so that he was laid on his side, curling around the injured man. He'd laid like this for so many sleepless nights, just watching the rise and fall of the man's chest to assure himself that Grim was still breathing. "You-" Malachai wanted to say so much, wanted to say everything but instead the words that came out were probably pretty unexpected though they were heavy with the emotions Malachai was struggling to hold back, wavering though he did not cry.

"You asshole!" Malachai pushed his face into the ruff of fur around Grimshaw's neck, fighting back all the grief he'd been forced to carry, unsure if he would need to mourn his boyfriend. "This is the second time you've made me think I was going to lose you!"

every second i'm without you i'm a mess

CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
After what felt like forever, a dark shape moved towards him and spoke his name, reassuring him that everything was okay, even if it really wasn't at the moment. For all he knew, the experience sliding down the mountain was nothing more than a terrible dream he'd had and today was just another day. Something seemed off though, like how much it hurt to just lay down. Was yesterday a rough day or something? When he felt the warmth of Malachai around his back he tried to roll over to face him, but was only met with an amount of pain he couldn't describe. He hissed, but forced himself over anyway. He wanted to cuddle, especially if he hurt this bad.

Tangling himself in Malachai's embrace eager to drift back to sleep as if it were just another night, he was surprised when Malachai's tone changed to something that worried him. What had he done? A frown pulled at the corners of his lips as he remembered the dream he'd had, sliding down the mountain after a failed goat hunt. A heavy sigh caused an unexpected whimper, realizing then that maybe it wasn't just a dream. When he continued, pressing his face into his neck, his suspicions were confirmed and his frown deepened.

"I thought it was a bad dream..." He thought out loud, his raspy voice barely above a whisper. He craned his neck to nuzzle Malachai's cheek as best he good, adding a soft kiss before speaking. "I'm so sorry, baby." He whined softly, adding another kiss to his cheek before wrapping his neck around the man's head to hold him close.

every second i'm without you i'm a mess

CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
Malachai wasn't really good with his words, especially not when he had so much emotion tangled up inside him. He didn't like it. Okay maybe that was unfair, he'd only learned he could feel these things because of Grimshaw to begin with but the fact he'd gone so long feeling very little more than passivity and boredom left him frankly unable to deal with the tumult Grimshaw was putting him through. He'd already said more than he probably would have been comfortable with otherwise to be honest. He kept his face buried in his boyfriend's fur, even as the man moved under his embrace, turning to face him. "It felt like one." He muttered.

Malachai didn't think he would cry, wasn't even sure if he could but he certainly felt like it right now. He squeezed Grimshaw closer as he apologized to him, shaking his head. Technically Grimshaw had nothing to really apologize for, it wasn't like he'd chosen to be out cold for as long as he had, and certainly hadn't meant to slide down that cliffside. But he had still... "I love you." Was all Malachai could manage. Part of him wanted to pull back, look Grimshaw in those silver eyes of his, and marvel at what he'd nearly lost but he wasn't sure he was able to move right now, the mixture of relief and grief that washed over him kept him paralyzed. He focused on his boyfriend's scent, and forced himself to remain grounded with it.

every second i'm without you i'm a mess

CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
"I'm so sorry," he repeated, this time barely above a muffled whisper as he pressed his face deeper into his boyfriend, tears threatening behind tightly closed eyes to erupt and soak Malachai's already moistened fur. He didn't want to die. There was a time when he would've said otherwise, had said otherwise, and came close to attempting. If it wasn't for Sirius, he wouldn't be here today, wrapped in the arms of his boyfriend and holding back tears of gratitude and guilt. He owed that man more than he could ever imagine, but that wasn't on his mind right now.

Malachai's words drew him back, pulling away from the comfort of his fur to really look at him. His silver eyes were glassy from fresh tears, but the last time he admitted his love, he was begging to the man to let him go with only the hope that everything was going to be okay. As if he could rewrite that memory, he wanted to see Malachai's face when he repeated the words back to him. "I love you, too, Malachai," he said with a slight purr as he leaned forward with half closed eyes, his voice deeper and softer than usual. At the end of his words his lips were already close to his lovers, to the point he only whispered his name before closing the distance between them.  

every second i'm without you i'm a mess

CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
Malachai had been with Grimshaw long enough now to know that kisses were incoming and as much as he wanted to keep his face pressed into the fur of his boyfriend he wanted to properly kiss him more. He pulled his head back and met his kissing, forelegs flexing to hold Grim tighter.

Fuck! Malachai growled under his breath and pulled his head away for a moment. He wanted Grimshaw so bad, but there was a part of him so afraid he'd break the man if they did... Grimshaw wasn't exactly perfectly whole in body yet but-

"How are you feeling?" He asked, voice low and the desire plain in his tone, he looked Grimshaw in the eye seeking out any attempt to hide any pain he might feel, Malachai wasn't about to sacrifice his boyfriend's bodily health just because he was channeling his relief through his dick. All the worrying he did over Grimshaw would have been worthless if he hurt him in his own inability to control himself.

every second i'm without you i'm a mess

CODE & ART © SKELLE 2022
"Speech!"
He melted into the kiss, pulling them as close as possible as Malachai gripped him tighter. It wasn't close enough, he needed more. He growled in time with Malachai as the man pulled away, his fizzling out into a whine. What did he pull away for?! He was about to rejoin their lips by force if he had to, but the deep tones of the man distracted him and did things to his insides that he liked. He wanted to know how he was feeling, though he had no words for it. If he tried it'd certainly ruin the mood. He knew what he meant of course, but he also knew why he asked. The frustration left Grim's face and it was replaced with a sultry smirk. Silver eyes trailed down from his lover's mismatched gaze and towards the side of his jaw, where he would lean forward and softly leave kisses.

As he trailed his kisses towards his throat, they became soft nips and soon he was gently pinching tender flesh between his extra sharp teeth though he was sure to be careful. He hoped that his message got across clearly as he left kisses and nips across his tender jaw and throat, flexed toes moving to press into the man's chest and moving downwards to drag his blunt claws through his boyfriends fur. Actions spoke louder than words he thought, but he wasn't above being straightforward if necessary.

every second i'm without you i'm a mess