Bellamy had talked it over with Gavroche and with no surprise found her tiny, winged husband supported her decision to try to become a leader when Menagerie began to fade. The woman would have a lot of ground in a short amount of time. That was going to be a fun endeavor when she was going to be getting bigger and wider as the season went on. She guessed that, probably around mid-summer, she would be having her litter. The woman had no idea how many children she would have, or if there was a chance any of them might be winged like Gavroche was. The woman doubted a mutation like that might pass down to their children but, if it did, she would love and support them all the same. She found herself wandering farther than the pines, to the large wall that separated the Northern territories from the rest of Boreas. Bellamy had traveled there on more than one occasion, especially when she had been part of Winterfell. It was a good location to get away from everything and everyone for a little while. Bellamy hummed thoughtfully to herself, coming alongside the stone as she tried to focus on the path before her. There was a break in the wall here somewhere that would be easier to cross through than hopping it with the baby bump that she had shown. Then, perhaps, she could start moving down south. Maybe even find Lucy and Bae. "Speech" 'Thought.'

The wall. He hadnt come to the north in some time. Fenix hated to admit that he had grown reclusive since abaven disbanded. It had been meant to train him in his leadership and so he could mourn his daughter. Certainly almost a year had passed since then. The time of eternal darkness. Sometimes he felt as if her spirit was still next to him. Telling and reminding him why hed followed his mother to his homeland to begin with. To make a name to the Isokan family. Fenix sighed the warm snow covering the tips of his paws. It was then the scent of another hit him and he froze.

"Pardon." he started. Almost stumbling over his words. It had been forever, the last wolf he had spoken to had been theory. "I didnt expect to see someone at the wall... though im aware a pack made its home nearby." there was a hint of the scent on this woman. Yet, it almost seemed fading. His ears flicked. Fenix looked her over for what seemed like a long moment. "Im Fenix Isokan. I was coming to the mines to see my grandfathers grave." no point in lying really.

Bellamy hadn’t exactly expected to run into anyone else at the wall as she wandered along. She hadn’t thought much about what she would do if she ran into anyone at all, actually. She took in a breath as the voice of a stranger brought her out of her thoughts. She lifted her green gaze to the stranger - a smaller male, though not as small as her mate. Not that many creatures were as small as Gav… especially not wolves. His size seemed more akin to that of a fox than to a wolf if she was being honest. But this wolf, a mostly monochrome stranger, was different. He seemed to stumble over his words as if he hadn’t spoken in a while. “You are quite alright, Fenix." She offered a small, well-meaning smile. “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone either. I was a part of a pack called Menagerie, though I am uncertain how much longer it will stand. Our… alpha is missing.” Her smile faded to a thoughtful frown. “Your grandfather is buried at the mines? Do be careful heading there. They seem easy to get lost within.” The woman shifted on her paws. “I’m actually traveling across Boreas right now… unsure if I might find wolves who might want to follow me. With our alpha missing I can’t pretend like there isn’t the possibility of us needing a new home so… I figured why not be the one to make it.” She admitted. She wasn’t sure if he was in a hurry or not… but… ugh… what was she even doing? He had just said he was on the way to visit a gravesite. Smooth Bells, smooth. "My name is Bellamy of Foi, by the way." "Speech" 'Thought.'

Fenix felt the awkwardness spread over him. Yet if it was one thing he was good at it was hiding his nerves. He smiled that usual oddly affectionate look he had. Well she did remind him a bit of his previous mate. He listened dilligently, finding himself a little interested. A missing alpha? Sounded familiar. She warned him about the mines and he shifted on his paws tail swaying to one side. "Hes buried close to the entrance in the outside. My mother is next to him." though dangerous. It would make a good home for a pack. If a group could learn those tunnels invasions and raids would be difficult.

Well she certainly was honest. He couldnt say he wasnt the same though. So this was a potential leader to be. He hummed for a moment. "I cant say im looking for a home like that at the moment." he admitted. "I was planning on training in Abaven until i started my own pack, but their alpha also went missing." so the idea of not applying himself really hurt his pride. Fenix sstopped. "You wouldnt happen to be carrying would you?" he tilted his head. It was rude to ask outright if someone was pregnant. At least he thought so.

Bellamy gave a small nod as Fenix mentioned that he was buried close to the entrance, on the outside. His mother too, it seemed. Her gaze softened and she dipped her head. “My condolences, Fenix. Losing one family member is bad enough, but two…” She knew firsthand how losing multiple could be. She lost her sister Analise in a cave in when she was but a child, presumed her dead, despite the glimmer of hope she’d been given about a year ago… or was it longer? She could no longer remember. After that cave in, when she lost the rest of her family, a sister and her parents, she had both aged and yet didn’t at the same time. It had been a time for certain, being a slave of the Empire… and it had changed her. “You are alright, you don’t have to be. I’d welcome others into the pack if thy needed a home, temporary or otherwise, but I’d be no means force anyone.” Bellamy reassured him. “I have… thought about running a pack in the past but it didn’t feel right at the time. Given the circumstances now though, I felt like it couldn’t hurt to shoot my shot for the sake of my family.” She didn’t doubt that she might have to challenge a pack for her family. She couldn’t wait too long if that was the case, since the more heavily she became pregnant the more danger she’d be putting her unborn children in. “Another missing alpha though? That’s very strange. There were… blood trails. Several wolves wound up missing.” She frowned and furrowed her brow. This definitely didn’t seem good. Then he turned another question on her and Bells gave a firm nod. “I am. My husband is a healer and confirmed it, though I’m not showing too much yet. It seemed strange to conceive out of my heat season, but I won’t question a blessing from the divinities themselves.” Bellamy chuckled softly. “The real question is if any of them might inherit their father’s blessing. You may not believe me, but he’s a tiny man with wings.” "Speech" 'Thought.'

The cold had never bothered him. Fluffing up his coat the male sat down. He let his paws rest it seemed like they would talk for a bit. Not that Fenix minded, he may have been going a bit crazy holed up like he had. Fenix muscles tensed when she gave her condolences though. His grandfather had died before he was born, his mother had been elderly. It was his wife, his children, that hurt the most. "During the eternal night I lost my daughter to the illness. She had only just turned a year. I lost my wife when she gave birth to my son and daughter. My son fell ill after and passed before his second season." he piled through them. "So i do suppose i appreciate the condolenses.... ive just noticed im alone now." he didnt seem.... sad about it. His head tilted in thought as he sighed. "My daughters last wishes was for our idea of a pack to come to reality. So... thats my goal." he grinned.

She continued on and what she said made sense to him. Although there didnt really need to be a reason to want and desire a home for your loved ones. Fenix was good at deducing things but his mind felt oddly lazy. Not to mention the fresh grief hitting him. Her happiness about her litter did help to cheer him up. "Oh another healer?" he smiled. "My goddess itsume is said to bless out of season litters when the love between a pair is in great amounts." he noted. "And wings well, Denki blesses wings to those worthy of the heavens. It sounds to me that the future is biting at your pawtips." he curled his tail around his haunches.

The cooler air of the Northern lands didn't bother Bellamy in the slightest. She fluffed up her coat to mimic the man before her and then lowered her rear end to the ground. She didn't mind the conversation that they were having, nor the fact that it seemed it would continue. She listened quietly as he explained the true extent of his loss. She wasn't familiar with the eternal night but she could only assume it was a tragic event akin to the volcanic eruption of Boreas years ago. "It is hard to be alone. When I was separated from my sister, and my other sister and parents were killed, it was a feeling I learned all too well. It's never easy… but it's important to have faith that it'll get better." Bellamy curled her tail around her toes. "If it was her wish for you to keep going for that pack then I think it's a noble goal to go for." She told him. It felt a bit reassuring that there might be another wolf who was wanting to become an alpha. "I'd be curious to learn more about the pack you have in mind, if you have any thoughts on it as of yet. I'm still thinking on my own… though I have been leaning toward calling it Ethne." He seemed to cheer up some as she mentioned Gavroche and, when he spoke of his religion, Bells grinned. "Another religious wolf? My, The Allmother truly smiles on us… or whichever Divine bean would do so in your case." The woman tilted her head to the side. "It has been a ride for us, though I have always leaned towards Gavroche's wings being a blessing from Celeste, the Allmother. He has… had it rough because of them. His own grandmother attempted to maim him because of them and rip them off. Not that she was the most sound creature." She had personal experience with the woman and could confirm that much. "Speech" 'Thought.'

Most wolves had their own tragedy's. Fenix had learned from a young age that the world could be as cruel as it was great. Living was hard, living alone for a wolf for the most part was also hard. Loners had outside threats, predators, and no friends or family to come back them up. Yet making a place like a pack, Fenix could create that empire. His lineage called for it, his great grandfather had been a cruel king, his mother? Well his mother had been shy for a time until she met Fenix's father. His father had been a strong man close to that of a viking but not quiet. He'd heard the stories of the walker family intwined within theirs. Rivaxorus, Allen, names he went through from stories that were passed down through the generations. He'd also like to share them.

"I don't think it's important to think about how it WILL get better." Fenix noted as he looked at her. "Sometimes, things aren't going to be okay. Death, stress, all these things are a part of life. Fighting them is what makes us weak, accepting these emotions and deciding on how to move forward makes you strong even if you need some help along the way. So it's not that it WILL get better. It's a fundamental truth and it's okay to be angry, okay to be sad, what's important is identifying these emotions and developing a healthy way to cope with them." suddenly he'd turned into a therapist. Not that it didn't happen. Fenix considered himself rather intelligent.

"Ethne, does it mean anything?" he asked tilting his head. It didn't sound like any native tongue of his. Fenix grinned, "The Grove, where the teachings of the trio are present but the pack builds a future for all. It rewards loyalty to your friends, your independence. Where knowledge is what you aim to protect and gain." he'd thought a long time about what to call it. The grove was simple and it almost sounded like a place to come home too. If he had to admit then it would be a place his enemies would fear but his family would love.

She was pleased it seemed by his religious mentioning. In the teachings of the trio, they accepted all gods and faiths. Every wolf was different and in tune they had different needs for love, worship and anything else. It was to stay true to your heart. "Itsume is the goddess of everything and nothing. She was cast from the heavens for falling in love with a mortal. But it is said that her lover didn't believe in the trio his faith was elsewhere. and yet they loved and were loved until he passed and Denki brought his sister back to the heavens in her grief." he could think of so many stories. His eyes didn't give anything away as she explained her husbands grandmother. "We are afraid of power, power that's granted to another that we wanted. Jealousy can easily poison a mind quickly." it was unfortunate. "The fact that she didn't succeed just tells you who really is the holy one." he chuckled. Protected by the gods.

Bellamy furrowed her brow as Fenix spoke. It wasn’t important to think about how it would get better? She didn’t necessarily think that he was correct… or at least wasn’t completely correct. While it might be important to accept those feelings she didn’t believe that fighting them and trying to cope was a bad thing either. “I’ll agree to disagree with you there.” Bellamy told him. “I personally feel you should fight those feelings. Not hide them or reject them, but if you don’t try to battle against them they are going to consume you and your coping methods aren’t going to be all that useful.” Not that she really wanted to have a conversation about this sort of thing. She was trying to comfort him, not get a lecture of sorts on how to properly deal with her feelings. She had her methods and he had his, simple as that. “Not any official meaning, to my knowledge. I’d like to believe it means ‘Hope’ though. That’s what this pack is going to be to me and my family.” The woman listened to him explain about the Grove, the pack he sought to build, and she gave a small nod. “It sounds like a wonderful pack-to-be. I’m still ironing out the kinks of Ethne, myself. I’d ideally like the pack to function as a family of sorts, though that’s not uncommon really. To build strong bonds with those who are not bound by blood, but still tied together. I’d like them to celebrate the differences and abnormalities others might have shunned or been afraid of. From mutations, gender, creed… I want them to all be included. Some of Foi’s teachings will no doubt be included as well… though not necessarily shoved down the throat of those who do not wish to believe in them.” Not everyone would, and, to those wolves, these teachings would be nothing more than the customs of Ethne. Fenix went on to explain more of the trios, a brief lesson in his god and goddess being shared. Bellamy listened attentively, giving a small nod to show she was paying attention. "I find it interesting your religion centers around a trio. Ours follows the Allmother and Allfather, a mated pair, and the Divinities, their children. It is said that together they created the world and uphold the balance of everything. It seems the base premise of unity is the same, however." His attention then shifted to Keno, the dark Empress whose orders had not only stolen her family, and her life, but had caused both herself and her husband so much grief. The woman lowered her gaze some, tensing a little. “I know she was afraid of something at the very least… Gavroche had never done anything against her, barely bigger than a fox, really. Yet this woman, a woman who was taller even than I, saw him as such a threat…” Her claws bit the soil. “I had never met someone so… dark. So cruel and twisted, concerned with only themselves. Her orders cost the lives of many good and innocent creatures, my sister, a pup at the time, and my parents included.” Bellamy’s lips twisted upward in the start of a snarl. “I was kept as a slave by the Empire until I was an adult…. Though I’m free now I still feel like their influence is looming over me, unfortunately. We were even captured and taken back to be publicly excused by the Empress’ heir, Gavroche’s sister. Just like her mother, I killed her too.” She furrowed her brow. “I don’t like the idea of mindless violence… but I will not turn and run when it comes to protecting myself or my loved ones. No one will hurt us like that again… not while I have breath in my lungs.” "Speech" 'Thought.'

FENIX

"It all falls down like Confetti and you gotta let it."

Fenix's ears twitched, what she said discredited the use of coping entirely in his mind. He did consider it a misunderstanding on his part. Fenix didn't want to be rude but his arrogance showed sometimes. He kept silent not saying much more on the matter. After all it wasn't the time or place especially considering that she was being so kind. Kindness to him didn't go unanswered. She had every right to get angry, or upset that he had been here. She was carrying and a mother had to put their pups first. He was an unknown male, despite how good someone was danger still lurked. Yet she decided it better to chat, Fenix considered that a win in his book at the least.

Me and my family... The basis of most things, of home and hope. Fenix almost felt as if the world was a dark cold place right now. His mother, his daughter. They died after he arrived in Boreas. His homeland? He wanted to make the most of what was given to him here sure. He nodded his head making sure Bellamy was aware he was still listening despite his silence for the time. After she was done though his fur fluffed a bit on it's ends. "I imagine the Grove would be similar. Though my inner circle wolves will be needing to take an oath. The path of the trio believes in controlling your own destiny. The religious acknowledges all other deities and children are always accepted no matter the walk of life they come from. I want it to be a place to grow, a place that others want and need to protect for the future generation. It sounds like we could be good allies." useful. He knew it was mean to think that way, but he couldn't help it. Having an emotional support as well as physical was important. You couldn't create something from nothing unless you had a foundation.

"I find it interesting your religion centers around a trio. Ours follows the Allmother and Allfather, a mated pair, and the Divinities, their children. It is said that together they created the world and uphold the balance of everything. It seems the base premise of unity is the same, however.", Fenix stopped for a moment as she said this. He wanted to interject but she had something else to say. So her husband was small? Fenix found that a bit funny big and small couples were rather common. Perhaps those with height differences just enjoyed being around each other. "The Trio is Denki, The god of guidance. He was once mortal like us, after his younger brothers death he was ascended to the heavens by his adopted heaven sister Itsume. Itsume's origins are unknown really, they say she's related to all dieties in all faiths. Sister to your allmother in a way. Itsume is the diety of nothing and everything, she protects her women well, but also has the rage of a thousand suns. The youngest of the trio is Zakuro, twisted and maimed, he is the diety of insanity but still see's the good in others despite his head space." he smiled. "Maybe we should do this often, I would love to know more about your religion and swapping stories is always a good time for me." he loved learning about others. Her intriguing had gotten into the man.

She went on to say a bit more about herself. Fenix couldn't say he had much more than the deaths of his family. He'd heard stories of the Walker and Arrow families who had once wandered Boreas as well. Fenix hadn't known anyone who had such a cruel life. Yet she seemed like she had a firm head on her shoulders. She wasn't broken like many others he'd seen in the valley of his homepack. "Fighting is neccesary to protect the things we love." he said to her as she finished. "In us all is a spirit, a spirit fighting to be known in the world and find out who we are. The bonds we make are important. There should be no such instance that one feels guilty about violence they inflict. Because is it actually violence if you are protecting something precious to you? Is that not, protecting, relying on your hope. In the end what you did was because you had to, and you would do it a million times over to protect the ones you love. To me, that is the most honorable thing any wolf could even hope to understand." she was strong and he could approve of this woman wanting to create a pack. Not that it was his business but still he made the silent judgement to himself.

MADE BY MINNIE of BTN

Maybe he felt like she wasn’t okay with the idea of coping at all, but Bellamy just saw coping done a different way. She would never be okay with the feelings she felt, especially about the Empire and her past, and though she might accept she had them she would continue to fight them when they arose. If you didn’t fight through the trauma, instead of just pretending it was okay, you weren’t really healing. You were, in her mind, actually letting it win and rule you by allowing it to make you feel downcast. There was a good and a bad way to cope and sadly his way didn’t actually sound healthy to her at all. Thankfully their attention shifted to the packs, with him mentioning that the Grove would be similar.  That was good to hear, really. A place where all walks of life could be accepted, just like Ethne. “It does sound like we could be good allies, doesn’t it? It would certainly be nice to have more folks with a like mindset, part of our packs or not. Everyone needs a helping paw now and again, after all, right?” At least she believed they did. It was natural for a pack to need allies, especially when the world as a whole could be cold. “Interesting… in Foi there are no Divinities that were once mortal, and though I do not know of any siblings of sorts to Celeste and Nox I know that as a mortal we might not know everything about the Divinities, God and Goddess. It is entirely possible that somewhere in the celestial bodies there was more going on. Who are we to say?” She was open-minded to the idea that the Goddess Itsume might actually be kin of sorts to the Allmother Celeste. “I certainly wouldn’t mind exchanging stories. Getting to know more religions outside of Foi and Majofionism would be good, I think.” As he finished up, speaking of how fighting was necessary to protect her loved ones, to bring hope to those she cared for, Bellamy gave a firm nod. “I like to think so. I’m not a heartless creature, but I will attack to defend myself and those I love. I could not bear the thought of anyone I cared for going through something like what I’d gone through. It’s… not right. No beast should.” Bellamy paused and then spoke up again. “Fenix, I know that you’re planning on making the Grove, but perhaps, if I form Ethne before you are ready, you might consider staying with us for a while. It’d be nice to have another wolf with a good head on their shoulders around, especially when I’m sure I’ll be giving birth to my little ones before I can challenge.” She chuckled softly. “My poor mate will have his paws full, what with our adoptive daughter, a polar bear cub, and whatever little ones that are on the way…” "Speech" 'Thought.'

FENIX

"It all falls down like Confetti and you gotta let it."

Allies. Fenix almost wanted to use the term loosely but he liked Bellamy. He'd realized that further into their conversation and while his anxiety had been screaming at him he always stood firm. His tail twitched as he shifted to move his tense muscles. How long had they been talking? He didn't notice where the sun was at this point. Yet the time that slipped away didn't feel wasted. Fenix nodded his head, "I don't think many realize that everyone need's a little help sometimes even if they don't want it." it was the hardest thing on a wolf's pride. Pride and greed could go hand in hand if one did not keep them in check. Fenix most definitely wasn't greedy not in his head but his want and need to lead was something ingrained in his blood.

It was true who are they to say? There was many things in their world they couldn't explain. Yet that was why it made living interesting. Learning and focusing to better yourself. Otherwise you could loose touch of reality. It caused disorders Fenix had seen in roaming in nomad groups. Depression, anxiety, trauma. Events in ones life didn't just physically affect them and Fenix had experience with those whose minds didn't quiet work "correctly" to the normal of their society. Fenix's thoughts came back though he would love to hear more about Foi. His need for knowledge made it an enjoyable task. After all in any political situation something that you KNEW could matter more than when a fight came along.

She wanted to make sure that what happened to her, never happened to anyone else. Fenix knew how that felt, but the things that happened to him were a part of life. Then again he did blame himself. If he'd just been a better healer, his family would still be alive. Yet he knew he had to force himself to move forward. He was young he had every chance to take another mate. His mate would've told him to move on a long time ago after all even as she had died giving birth to their children. She had loved them all the same.

His eyes widened at her offer. Then again being around a family like hers would probably be good for his mental state. "Well I do think you're far closer to creating your pack then I am." he chuckled softly. "I'll be honest I'm hesitant, but, if you'd accept me I'd be glad to stay. I can provide medical care, mental or physical, and of course if you need me to look after the little ones from time to time I'm a great babysitter." he winked at her. "I just. I'd like to be treated as an equal to you if that is something I can request. I'm not asking for a high position,, I am still a stranger after all, but to get the experience as a leader. Plus I'm good in political conversations.". He didn't want to just be a regular pack member.

MADE BY MINNIE of BTN

Bellamy gave a small nod of agreement to Fenix’s words. They were true, very true. At first, not even she had wanted help, fighting the idea that she actually needed it. But bless Acere, that man had set her on the right path. Without his guiding paw, she would not have become who she was now, and Bells was grateful for him. It had taught Bellamy an important lesson about having allies and those you could count on. It had opened up her heart and, bit by bit, she became more willing to that idea. That was also why she made the offer to Fenix. He was alone. Maybe she could help him on his path… and at the end of the day gain an ally both temporarily for her pack and one that would continue to be reachable even after he set out on his own. “I’m sure that the idea seems a bit sudden but I truly believe it could be beneficial for both of us.” Bellamy breathed out slowly. “My husband is a healer but there is no telling how many little ones we might have… and there is also the chance you know something he may not. The extra set of paws would surely be appreciated. We also have a polar bear daughter who is a little bit older, but still tiny enough to need a set of eyes and extra care on her.” The tip of the dark-furred woman’s tail flicked up thoughtfully. “All wolves will be equals in Ethne.” Bellamy blinked a bit. “I would never ask something of my members I wouldn’t be willing to do myself, for example. The ranks are there to help things flow smoothly, but everyone is expected to contribute and pull their weight in the pack. If anything, having a higher rank is just a sign of trust between myself and an individual who has proved themselves in order to help the pack run more smoothly. I don’t want anyone thinking they are better than anyone else.” The woman smiled a little. “Personally, I think it’d be a bit hard to gain leadership experience if you weren’t placed in a leadership position. Call it a show of faith, if you will, but at least temporarily I’d like to see you in my beta position. A trial period if it were, to see if you can handle it. Do well, and until you leave to make the Grove you’ll become the official beta of Ethne. Well, once it’s formed at least.” The pregnant wolfess laughed. “Once the kiddos are born I plan to really get the ball rolling. It shouldn’t be too much longer now.” "Speech" 'Thought.'

FENIX

"It all falls down like Confetti and you gotta let it."

He was glad he had made himself at least a little desirable. Fenix enjoyed that, of course he wouldn't let his ambitions get the better of him or at least he hoped not. He didn't know it yet, but he himself could be the pinnacle of a hypocrite. The mix of his beliefs though, perhaps it was his own sanity that kept his demons at bay. Fenix listened diligently nodding to make sure she was aware that he was still listening. He was trying not to let his excitement grow too large a lot of it had been stopped over and over by the bad misfortunes that took him. However, it was his power to believe a future even still existed. Perhaps even room for him to start another family. That's what his wife would have wanted. She would never be one to hang up the fact that she was dead and Fenix was free to feel feelings for someone else. He wasn't talking about Bellamy of course - but a pregnant woman had just made him thinking about his daughter. Although it made him sad he wanted to embrace those feelings one way or another.

Though the man was tired and he was satisfied to say the least when his ears twitched to the notion of Beta. Well he had asked, and he hadn't intended to push her but he sank those feelings down. He could prove to her with actions instead of promises.... couldn't he? Fenix let out a long yawn, stretching his limbs. "I best find some shelter before the sun sets I suppose. You should go back to your husband as well. I'm... not actually sure when the last time I ate either. But uh... just call for me I'll be listening." Fenix wasn't good at ending conversations. He dipped his head probably a bit too dramatically before turning his head and letting the ice fall behind him. Perhaps he would... he would tell his mother all about this at her grave.

/end

MADE BY MINNIE of BTN