Haydée had helped her mother back to her den and out of the rain, fussing over the woman until she was dry and comfortable. The weight of everything they had discussed has not settled in and, for now, the girl simply tends to the heart broken woman before. Once her tasks are done and Bellamy is lounging on a pile of warm furs, the girl gently says, “Hey mom, I am going to call Dorian and have him give you a checkup. Just rest for now and do as whatever he tells you.”

Her tone is light and slightly teasing but the girl’s heart squeezes painfully as her emerald eyes take in her mother’s form. Haydée had not realized just how thin Bellamy has gotten and, while they have all been dealing with their grief over Gav in different ways, the woman’s decline has mostly gone unnoticed by the young Hay. Sadness and guilt tug at her as the girl moves to the mouth of the den and releases a gentle call for her brother, Dorian, to join them.


"Haydée Kedieo"

Gavroche wasn’t at the grave, not really, but leaving it still hurt. She hadn’t really wanted to go back to the den they shared, her ears falling once they reached the entrance of the tunnel system. The den they shared felt so empty… so cold. But alongside her little one she makes her way to their furs and bodily flops down upon them. She becomes aware of the chill now, the wet feel of her coat from the rain, but she makes no effort to try and dry herself off. Her ears remained flattened, fussed over by her little one until she was dry and as comfortable as she could be in that moment. She can feel her lack of sleep attempting to catch up to her, but Bellamy fights the urge to shut her eyes. She tries to block out the thoughts that want to invade her brain, forcing herself to focus on Haydee’s actions until she speaks. Dorian… Bellamy feels her heart sink. Her children, taking care of her like she was some helpless newborn. She had been avoiding him and Lucette as the weight of the truth weighed on her. Perhaps it was for the better… she didn’t want the pups to see her like this too. But… if Hay had noticed how far she had fallen… surely they had too. Lucy had been leaving herbs for her, ones she recognized for trying to keep strength up. Sometimes she ate them, sometimes she didn’t. Some were near the furs she laid on now. Bellamy glanced at them and sighed softly.   “I’ll try to…” An honest answer. She whines softly as her green gaze follows her daughter’s form. “...please don’t be long…” Her head shifts from her legs to the furs. His scent was fading… she recoiled, almost as if she had been struck. She shakes her head back and forth, breath catching in her throat. No. She won’t. She can’t. She leaves the furs, leaves their den, and moves to the tunnels before laying back down as she tries to calm herself. He wasn’t fading… …he… he wouldn’t fade… Tears pricked her eyes as she curled up in a ball. She wanted to sob, but she fought the sound that wanted to escape, muttering the word “No,” over and over to herself. Her mind was a danger… her own worst enemy, twisting the events that had happened, that were before her now. Despite herself a wail leaves her lips, the sound echoing through the tunnels. “Gav…!” This couldn’t be the truth. He was here. He had to be. It’s all a bad dream… he was going to save her…! ------------------------- For healing notes: Bellamy is suffering from depression, an anxiety attack, PTSD, lack of eating (enough to keep her alive but cause a reduction in weight from medium to light), and delirium / lack of proper sleep. Her mental state rapidly went downhill after bringing Gavroche’s killer to justice. She both knows he’s gone and refuses to accept he is really gone. "Speech" 'Thought.'

Dorian's ears flicked back as he listened to Haydeé's call for him, blinking his gaze back into focus as he was pulled back to the present. He looked around a bit and then back down at the lamb's ear plant that was sitting in front of him. He had been tending to the garden, removing some plants that had begun to dry out and replacing them with some freshly sprouted cuttings when he reached a lamb's ear plant. As he felt over the fuzzy, soft leaves he was pulled back to the memory of the lessons he had gotten from his father just shortly before his death. He sat there and replayed the memory in his head several times without realizing just how long the memory had kept him there. He liked to think that by tending to the garden and keeping these memories and lessons he had gotten from his father it would help to keep him close, but that absence and the void it had left in his life still felt so wide and insurmountable.

Shaking his head to clear it, he quickly got up and trotted off toward the falls to find Haydeé. As he got close he realized that his mother's scent was also strong and fresh, intermingled with Haydeé's so he assumed they were together. However, as he reached the entrance of the caves he found his sister, but their mother was nowhere to be seen. "Hey, sis," he greeted with a slight smile, dipping his head down to press his nose briefly to her cheek. "I thought Mom wa-" Right in the middle of his questioning a wailing cry echoed from the tunnels and his hackles immediately stood on end, his emerald gaze darting up toward the tunnel entrance. It was recognizably their mother's voice and immediately he bounded off toward the tunnel. She hadn't gone far so it only took a moment to find her curled up in the tunnel. He had admittedly been keeping his distance from everyone since their father was killed so this was the first time he had really looked at her since the one day she had sought him out and guilt twisted at his gut when he saw the state she had deteriorated to.

"Mom, we're here," he told her softly as he lowered himself to the ground beside her, taking her paw in his own and forcing her gaze to meet his. "Breathe with me, okay? Slow breaths," he instructed her before taking in long, even breaths and letting them out just as slowly while making sure she did the same. The look in her eyes was more lost and manic than it had even been the day that a tiger had attacked Haydeé and already he was trying to recall any of the herbs that he had learned so far that could help her calm down and relax. Her physical state needed a lot of help as well, but they could only take one thing at a time. Once he was sure he had his mother's attention and had her at least slightly more calm, he glanced over to Haydeé and said quietly, "Help me get her back to bed," before getting to his paws and gently nudging their mom's shoulder to do the same. "Come on, mom. You can't be comfortable here."

"Dorian"

As Hay settles Bellamy on the furs and offers her comforting words, the woman’s pleading tone and soft whine have the girl’s smile faltering and falling away. Leaning towards her mother, the girl nuzzles her cheek affectionately as she softly says, “I won’t. Promise.” Sleep tugs at her mother and the girl slips from the room, moving out and down the hall to the opening of the cave system to summon her brother for help. Her heart picks up pace as she waits for her tall sibling, thinking about how much Dorian is like their kind, gentle father.

Lost in her thoughts, Haydée has to mentally shake herself when Dorian joins her at the opening of the caves and when he dips his head down to press his nose into her cheek, the girl giggles softly and nuzzles her brother’s cheek affectionally in return. In the middle of Dorian’s question, a wail rips apart the serene atmosphere of the day and both of their hackles raise in response. Wide-eyed and suddenly terrified, the girl follows after her brother’s long strides as he bounds through the tunnels at break neck speed.

They come upon Bellamy in the hallway, curled into a tight ball and gently rocking herself and Dorian quickly steps up to her, offering his help. Hay skids to a stop a short distance behind them and her ears pin back as sadness suddenly rolls through her, threatening to make tears spill down her face at the sorry state their mother is in. As her brother works with Bellamy, Haydée takes those precious seconds to quell the guilt and fear that raises in her chest so that, when Dorian glances over to her and quietly asks for her help, she is able to respond calmly.

With a small nod, Haydée quickly steps up to their mother’s side and says, “Hey mom, come back to bed. Let Dorian check you over and I will go grab you some food to nibble on. Okay?” Her tone is light and kind and the smile she offers is warm, soft, and loving as she gently nudges the much taller woman’s front leg in an attempt to get her to uncurled so that they can assist her back to bed. Looking to her brother she fills him in, “I found mom out in the rain, laying on dad’s grave and crying. She was cold and I… am worried about her. Can you please check her over?”

Bellamy had mentioned going to the Hallows for help but Hay wants to make sure that Ethne really cannot offer all the help that their mother needs. Part of her does not want to ship Bells off to another pack for medical help but she knows that she will do whatever she has to make sure that Bellamy has all the care she needs.


"Haydée Kedieo"

The grief that Bellamy felt was overwhelming. It was hard to breathe, fighting back additional sobs that threatened to pass her lips. Her mind had gone from zero to sixty in seconds, triggered by the fading scent of her late mate. The reminder was so painful. She shook in her balled-up state, eyes squeezed closed, ears pinned to her head. It wasn’t until she felt a paw under her chin, moving her head up, that she opened her eyes. They were wide, wild with fear, and filled with tears. She swallowed hard as she met her son’s gaze. Her baby, her sweet boy, a healer just like his father. Her children reminded her so much of Gavroche. They cared for others, their love and light shining just as brightly. She tried to draw in a breath, another whine leaving her. “Dorian…” And, in a heartbeat, her daughter was there too. Bellamy let herself uncurl, but she refused to get to her paws. Her gaze falls as she shifts her head away from her son.

“N-no. I… I won’t!” Her mind whirls in distress. Bellamy’s gaze fixed on her paws as she trembled more, tears streaming down her cheeks. “H-his… his scent… it… he’s fading…” Another whine. She squeezed her eyes closed. “I can’t!”  She speaks more firmly now. She knows that being out in the tunnels won’t help her and that she needs the warmth of the den and the care of her children, but acknowledging the fading scent means letting go of Gavroche. To accept that he was gone… she couldn’t. She was terrified that the moment she started, his memories would fade… and that hurt her far worse than any would possibly could.

“I can’t…” The words became weaker as she looked up at her children again. Did they understand her fear? Did they understand why she was afraid to return to the bed she had shared with her mate? But, even with her spiral, some of Bellamy recognized their worry for her. That they wanted to help her. “...somewhere else…” The best compromise she can make for now trembling as she tries to rise. She couldn’t return to her own den but would follow them to another.

"Speech," 'Thought.'