Even though the walk from the den she shared with Saracyn to the den shared by her uncle and Ikigai wasn't all that long, it somehow felt like the longest trek she had ever taken. This was her first time leaving the den on her own since she lost their pups. Of course Sara had told her to take it easy and insisted she take as many days as she needed, but she had to get back to work. Until she forced herself back into her routines and began to move on she would never heal and she would only continue to waste away. She had no choice. Putting the pieces in order and laying the ground work for the future of their family would take one weight off of her mind so here she was, on her way to speak with Elysium's Emissary to do just that. It was humbling in a way that she had hoped she would never have to face.

She had bathed and washed away the evidence of the days upon days she had spent hiding from the world, ill and grieving, but the signs were still there. Her already lithe and slim frame was even more frail, clearly still recovering and regaining her strength. Still, she at least tried to gather up as much of her pride as she could and made sure her coat was smooth and glossy and the necklace she received from Saracyn during their soul mating ceremony sat proudly around her neck. Pausing at the entrance of Ikigai and Deimos' den, she cleared her throat before calling gently, "Ikigai? Are you home? May I speak with you?"

"Avacyn Medacium"

Ikigai was... happy. She and Deimos were closer than ever and, even though she was sad for the loss of their pups, the future seemed hopeful. While her mate was off doing patrols and working on whatever else he chose to do during the day, Iki worked on creating some pain relieving tinctures that she put in individual stone crocks that she'd purchased from a passing trader.

Pointed ears perked as a voice called out to her. Marbled eyes rose, falling upon the form of Avacyn. The den was well lit and Iki motioned the younger fae inside. "Avacyn, please come in." Taking up a swatch of soft leather, Iki wiped her paws and moved away from her work table. As she neared the purple fae, she noted the unnatural slenderness in her frame. Concern etched the pale woman's brow. "Are you alright?"

"Speech"

A moment after she called out to the Elysium Emissary, Ikigai bid her to come in, the healer looking up from her work to motion her inside. Giving her a small, thankful smile, Avacyn did just that and stepped into the well furnished space. She had not been to visit her uncle or Ikigai for more than a passing hello so this was her first time really seeing the space and it was obvious that Ikigai had a knack for making things beautiful, but still functional. As much as she loved her uncle, she was positive that he had little to do with the table, cushions, and other pieces of decor in the space. Moving into the space, she found a place to sit and waited for a moment as Ikigai wiped her paws and turned to face her.

The concern on the other fae's face was almost immediate and it made Avacyn's ears flick with a bit of embarrassment. She had hoped that perhaps she looked better than she felt she did, but it couldn't be helped. "I will be," she replied with a slight smile. At this point she wasn't confident that statement was true, but she had to be alright eventually. She didn't have a choice if she was going to continue on leading this pack and her family. "It's... um... It's actually why I'm here." She knew she would have to be transparent with Ikigai through this, but getting herself to admit what happened was difficult. "Saracyn and I had been expecting pups," she explained quietly, not quite able to meet Ikigai's gaze as she spoke. "They were very nearly due, but... they didn't make it. There were some significant birth defects. They died before they were born." It felt very flat and matter of fact to her own ears as she said it, but the crease in her brow and her ears that had flattened against her head gave away the guilt and grief that she was still wrestling with. "There is... is obviously a reason that the Mendacium laws forbid a relationship like ours."

She was quiet for a moment as she drew in a breath to steady herself before finally bringing her gaze back to Ikigai's again. "I feel like it's my responsibility as a leader to think about the future of the pack and the Mendacium family and who will lead them after me. Traditionally, it's always a daughter of the current Matriarch, but... I won't be able to provide that heir... not without mating with someone who is not my soul mate and that's not something that I want." She pulled a small smile onto her lips as she continued, "But I've admired the union that you and Deimos have found with one another. The family deserves to have a Matriarch that comes from a strong pair like the two of you. They need a good role model of the family's laws. It would also cement the alliance between our families for years to come and I hope that is only a benefit to Elysium and Ashen. All of this to say... if you'll allow it, I would like to chose my heir from your daughters once they're born. I'm confident that it is the best path forward and... having some kind of plan for the future will at least settle one of my worries."

"Avacyn Medacium"

Once the pair were seated near one another, Ava began to speak. The moment that the purple woman said 'had,' Ikigai's own brow creased in concern, their expressions mirroring one another. She had lost the pups that she and Saracyn had made. The mention of birth defects was met with the barest of nods, simply signifying that she heard and understood. The loss of children... it hit close to home. The pale fae swallowed hard but continued to listen.

Apparently Avacyn was thinking of the future. Knowing that she and her mate could likely not produce an heir, she was asking to choose one from Ikigai's own litter. The pallid fae was a little surprised that she had been asked. Surely there were other wolves that were closer to her bloodline that could be groomed to be heir. Avacyn wasn't wrong that, in choosing one of Iki's children, the bond with Ashen would be further solidified. It was a smart choice, in the end.

Before she answered Avacyn, Ikigai moved forward, placing a dexterous paw upon one of Ava's own paws. "I am truly sorry for your loss," she spoke softly. "I know what it's like and I wouldn't wish it on anyone." It wasn't really public knowledge of her forced miscarriage, but Manea had known, so perhaps Ava did as well.

"As for your request, I gladly accept, though we'll need to further discuss the terms." Ikigai wasn't going to give up a child, no matter who asked for it. She would be the one raising the pup. Ikigai wasn't unreasonable. She trusted Avacyn to care for her child. Together, they could make it work.

"Speech"

Avacyn had forced herself to get out all of the information and her request all at once so that she wouldn't have the chance to waver. Once it was all laid out for Ikigai to consider she was able to breathe a soft sigh and look to Ikigai for her response. What surprised her was the Emissary moving closer to rest her paw upon her own, making Avacyn glance down at their overlapping paws for a moment before bringing her obsidian gaze back up to meet her silver gaze once more. Her sympathy and understanding made the composed woman crack a bit, the grief that the two of them unfortunately knew well peeking through her expression. She had known of the loss that Ikigai and Deimos had faced and even though the situation had been different the loss was still just as real. "Thank you," she replied softly, giving Ikigai a grateful smile.

The conversation shifted back to her unusual request and once Ikigai accepted she was able to relax a bit more. There was a different kind of grief that she would need to work through on her own for not being able to continue the legacy of her mother's bloodline that had held the lineage of Matriarchs for generations, but that was not something to bring up now. For now she could just enjoy the relief in knowing that there would be someone to take on the role once her time was done and Elysium wouldn't be without a leader because of her choices. "Of course," she agreed with a nod when Ikigai mentioned discussing the terms of this agreement. "I don't want to over complicate anything and I most certainly do not want to take away from your daughter's time with you and Uncle Deimos. I would only want to begin with some lessons and training once she is about three seasons old or so–which you are of course more than welcome to sit in on if you'd like." Looking to Ikigai curiously, she added, "Is there anything in particular you want to address or is that agreeable?"

"Avacyn Medacium"

After the women shared their moment, then got down to business. Avacyn shared her ideas on the matter and Ikigai nodded as the darker fae spoke. It all seemed fairly reasonable and she was glad that they were on the same page. There was no way that Ikigai would hand a child over. Ava acting as a teacher to prepare the child for rule, however... that was acceptable.

"This course of action will do," the pale fae agreed verbally. "I'll allow you to give instruction to one of my children. Until they reach a year old, they must be back in my care each night. Aside from that, we'll learn as we go." Ikigai gave her head a soft tilt. "Is there anything else that you'd like to discuss?" There was worry in her marbled gaze. Ava had lost a litter. How was her health truly? And what about her mental state?

"Speech"

Avacyn was glad to hear that her terms were agreeable to Ikigai as well. She didn't think that she would be overstepping any boundaries with her proposition, but she also didn't want to assume Ikigai's preferences or desires for her children. She would be their mother, after all, so Avacyn would never want to interfere with how she or her uncle wanted to raise them. The one caveat the pale woman had was the need to have her daughter home each night until she was a year old and Avacyn easily nodded in agreement with this request. "Absolutely. In fact, I imagine we'll likely do many of her lessons here or at least during the day so there should be no issues getting her back to you before it gets too late. I won't take her away from the pack for any diplomacy trips until she's at least a year old." She certainly hadn't expected their discussion to go badly, but it was still a relief regardless for it to go so well.

As it seemed that their business was coming to a close, Ikigai questioned her with worry on her expression, asking if there was anything else she wanted to discuss. Avacyn of course knew what she was referring to, given their shared experiences, but it still took a moment for Avacyn to form a response. It didn't feel like something she should talk about other than just to share the facts of the tragedy with those that needed to know. It was a pregnancy that had been ill fated from the beginning and having anyone's sympathy for something that felt like her fault was hard to accept, but she knew that Ikigai was just trying to help. Avacyn's ears flicked uncertainly and she glanced away as she struggled to figure out what to say if anything. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't know what there is to discuss," she replied honestly, looking down at the ground between them. "I turned by back on the laws of my family and a suitable mate to chase this dream with the one I love and this was my punishment. Now I'm just trying to ensure than my decisions don't doom my family and everything my mother built. That's all."

"Avacyn Medacium"

Avacyn didn't seem to want to talk about her ordeal, shutting down the conversation instead. Inwardly Iki sighed, but outwardly she remained stoic. A simple nod was given. If Ava didn't want to talk about it, then they wouldn't talk about it. But... Iki would always be there in case she did.

"Is there anything else that you need?" They'd agreed upon the arrangement of training one of her children to be heir. They'd gone over their mutual loss of children. It wasn't that Iki didn't wish to speak to Ava, it was just that they didn't have all that much in common. For once, the pale woman was at a loss for words.

"Speech"