to say they’re surprised by Strai’s insistence that they stay is an understatement, but it’s a pleasant surprise. they’d been so sure he’d want them to leave, that he wouldn’t want to see them ever again after making everything so weird between them. although Strai now acknowledges their friendship, Spider has always known that they value him more than he values them, that if they went away…he’d be completely fine. to learn that this ain’t the case feels wonderful. “ok,” they murmur, leaning into his touch. “i’ll stay.”

they hug him, so relieved he’s still willing to touch them despite knowing how they feel. “you’re my best friend too, Strai, and you’re not gonna lose me.” they smile up at him, mouth quirking with self-deprecation. “you’re stuck with me, remember? you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” they can do this. Strai wants his best friend, and he’ll have them; Spider will just have to squish their feelings down, and hope if they ignore them long enough they’ll go away. Strai still wants them around, and that’s enough.

it’ll have to be.
"Speech"

Spider stopped, leaning into his paw, and Strai let out a soft breath, willing his heart to settle. Spider had made everything so much more complicated, and he could almost feel his heart splitting two ways. But Delphi… Delphi. He loved that crazy spitfire. If Spider had won him over soon, he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t have gone a different way. But the gods had rolled their dice, and he had found someone in Delphi.

He let Spider hug him, even though it felt weird now. It felt a little like a betrayal. That was going to make things awkward. He hoped the feeling would go away. “Yes, I know, I have tried.” He said a little dryly. Multiple times, in fact. Spider was a bur in his paw. Just, now a wanted one… He sighed, and rubbed his pained head. “Help me find something to wrap this with, won’t you?”


"Speech"

guilt stabs them as their eyes flicker to the wound on Strai's head. has he been in pain this whole time "oh, of course! sorry!" they stray from the shoreline, poking around the forested areas up the beach until they find a fallen palm tree leaf and a clump of moss. returning to Strai, they dip the moss in the water and hand it to him. "press this to your wound," they instruct, laying the leaf on the ground. they lift their head to inspect the sky, noting its darkening colour and the way the sun begins to dip below the horizon. it might not be winter anymore, but they know they'll both catch cold if they don't dry off anytime soon. returning to the forest, they collect a bundle of sticks and a pawful of tree sap when they find some smeared across a nearby trunk.

"i thought we could use it to stick the ends of the leaf together," they offer, placing everything down at Strai's feet. "you know, like as a bandage." turning their back, they leave Strai to wrap his wound and begin rubbing the sticks together, brow furrowed with concentration. it takes a bit of time and several hissed curses under their breath, but when a small fire finally flickers to life, they turn and beam at Strai. "all in a day's work for the Armada's newest warrior." in the chaos of the day they'd almost forgotten to brag about their new rank - almost.
"Speech"

Strai watched as Spider moved away - not too far, luckily - and poked around until they found a few things. They returned with moss, which he obediently pressed to his wound. His head hurt too much to kick up any kind of fuss, and he had asked for Spider’s help. He held the moss to his head, and let it soak up some of the blood as Spider trotted away again.

The anxiety he felt watching Spider walk away was useless, unhelpful, and downright annoying. Then they were back again, and Strai didn’t have to wrestle with this new bundle of worries just yet. He wrapped his head as Spider started a fire. A good idea, he couldn’t feel the cold but that was probably a bad thing.

He did blink in surprise as Spider announced themselves as a Warrior. He also found a pang of… jealousy. He was still Vidarr’s thrall. Despite his efforts, he was yet to work his way into a real rank. “A warrior? When did that happen? They grant warrior ranks to midgets over there?” He teased.


"Speech"

"hey!" they protest, though it's all feigned outrage as they flash Strai a sharp little grin. "ever heard of tiny but mighty?" they fall quiet for a moment, watching Strai's face as they track the hint of envy there. anyone else and they might not have noticed it, but they've been around Strai long enough now that they have some basic grasp on his emotive ticks. "you'll get there," they murmur, staring into the fire. they don't want to patronise him - Strai won't appreciate that - but there's a quiet certainty in their voice all the same. "one day, the whole of Boreas will know your name." they glance out the corner of their peripheral at him and smile again, this one smaller. "i'm sure of it."

Spider sits back on their haunches, watching in satisfaction as the fire begins to grow. its warmth is a welcome reprieve, and soon their fur is springing up as it dries, even more unruly than usual and sticking out every which way. "why don't you get some sleep?" they offer after a while. "i'll keep watch, and tomorrow we can find a proper healer."

"Speech"

Strai wasn’t terribly impressed at being so easily read, but he wasn’t totally surprised, either. Spider certainly seemed to have people skills that he was missing. The difference was likely in that Strai automatically distrusted everyone he met. Spider, from his experience, seemed to automatically love everyone they crossed paths with. Even when they had first met, and he had tried to shake Spider loose, the other pup had almost instinctively known that a fight would get Strai to play ball.

“I’m waiting for the pack’s event, The Thing. That’s when… my… mum-” It felt weird to say that, and he wasn’t saying it outloud to Bylgja yet, either. But he trusted Spider with this little part of himself. ”-is going to petition for my place in the pack” He explained. He wasn’t so sure about the whole of Boreas knowing his name. He had a feeling that if they did, it would be for his infamous temper.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep any time soon.” He said, surprised that Spider wanted to stick around that long. But he wasn’t going to chase them away. In fact, he wanted to pick their overly-social brain a little. “Delphi.” He started, his voice serious as he looked over at Spider. “How would you approach this with her, if you were me?”


"Speech"

it brings a warmth to their chest to hear Strai refer to Bylgja as his Mum. they remember when they first called Bas 'Dad,' when he saved them from that Bear and it'd been the first thing to slip out as they rushed into his arms. the relief and joy and love that had coursed through them when Bas hadn't rejected them, when he'd embraced them as his own. they want that for Strai, want him to feel safe and loved in the presence of a maternal figure who doesn't instil damaging lessons. he deserves it, even if he doesn't think so. "i hope you get it - that you get to make a real home for yourself in Heidinn." by the sound of it he already has, but it couldn't be easy trying to fully embrace your pack when you're technically still a slave.

Strai's next words surprise them. they hadn't expected him to want advice from the very person who might've just royally messed up the best thing in his life. guilt stabs them again, and they duck their head and train their eyes on the flame, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. "i'm sorry about that again," they whisper, feeling wretched. they're silent for a moment, shifting through what they know of Delphi, of her relationship with Strai. "i'd just...tell her the truth," they say finally. "that i initiated it, that you didn't reciprocate. that it caught you by complete surprise, and that she's the only one for you. tell her...that you don't have any feelings for me." their voice cracks on the last sentence, but they sniffle fiercely and look determinedly into the distance until a calm neutrality settles over their face.

"Speech"

He should have realised the asking would hurt Spider. He heard the give in the other wolfs voice as he told him what to say to Delphi. It felt more than a little like throwing Spider to the wolves. He hesitated for a moment, and then reached out a paw to place his larger one over Spiders. He knew he wasn't very good at this. He was better at pushing people away then he was at drawing them closer. But this was important to him. “You're like a sibling to me, Spider. You're someone I… love, and want in my life, forever. I'd fight for you. I'd be honoured to call you my blood.” Would it be enough for Spider? 


He hoped he wasn't making things worse. He barely understood why Delphi liked him, let alone Spider. There was this need for connection that his mother had never explained to him. Perhaps it was more stilted in him, but blossomed in those like Spider and Delphi. “I don't want to damage your friendship with Delphi, either.” He said with a sigh. He was possessive of Delphi, but if anyone deserved to know her, it was Spider.

despite their heartache, Spider can tell Strai is really trying - to not hurt their feelings, to convey his love for them even if it’s familial in nature - and it’s such a contrast from the boy they’d met all those months ago that the difference is almost dizzying. a sibling. Strai does love them, wants them to be his family and remain at his side. the notion is so wonderful it makes their heart soar even as it gives another painful squeeze. truly, a lesson in opposites.

but if Strai can’t see them in a romantic sense, then this is certainly the next best thing. a smile breaks across their face, like the sun parting through the clouds. almost a year ago their mother left them, and now they have a Mum and a Dad and a brother. a chosen family. and it’s infinitely better than the half-hearted reluctance their birth mother had been offering. “i love you, too,” they whisper, their smile a war of joy and sorrow simultaneously. they’d never have Strai the way they wanted, but this is wonderful, too. “and i’d be delighted to have you as my brother.”

behind them, the sea crashes against the shore, and Spider twists to regard it with a thoughtful expression. on shaky legs, they to get to their feet and walk slowly to the shoreline, where they stand for several moments and take deep breaths. then, with incremental slowness, they wade into the shallows until the black water is brushing their ankles, willing their heart to slow. nothing happens. the world is still. Spider releases a deep breath and closes their eyes, a single tear running down their cheek. it’s not perfect, but it’s better. it’s their best.

it’s enough.

Strai found himself uncomfortable with the shared feelings and open honesty between them. There was just a little too much on display right now, so when Spider made their way to the ocean and stepped into the shallows, Strai let them be.  He moved a little closer to the fire, leaning into its warmth with a sigh. He may allow Spider, Delphi, and Bylgja, to see a side of him no one else could witness. But that didn't make it easy for him.


After a little while with just his own thoughts, he looked back up at Spider again. “I'll talk to Delphi in the morning” he said, and he wondered what fireworks would come from that. Truth be told, he was a little afraid. He didn't want to lose Delphi. Those three wolves had lodged themselves so deeply into his heart, he knew they would leave ugly wounds if he lost any of them. He would be as… diplomatic as he was able, when he spoke to Delphi. “How are you feeling with the water now?”

a gentle splash draws their attention as Strai joins them, and their gaze flits worriedly to his head wound. “are you feeling ok?” Spider asks, concern in their voice. “should you be resting?” if it turns out Strai needs further medical attention then they’ll have to go find some proper help; unfortunately their knowledge of medicine is essentially nonexistent.

“better,” they admit at Strai’s question, lips taking on a wry twist. “this was your plan all along, wasn’t it? pretend to drown so i’d have to save you.” their tone is teasing, an attempt at adding brevity to what had very neatly been a disastrous situation. they can’t even consider what might’ve happened if they hadn’t been able to save Strai; the very thought makes their stomach roil and bile crawl up their throat. “though maybe next time i’ll start with a shallow pool.” they definitely aren’t ocean-ready, that's for sure.

He brushed off Spider's concern. The wound was covered, it was as good as dealt with. He’d live or he’d die, and that was about it.“Nah, I knew only the real deal would work. I'm all heroic like that” he said, keeping his expression nonchalant. He was really going to need some swimming lessons, before he had another stupid accident. He found himself wondering if Bylgja would teach him, if he asked.

He sat down in the shallow water, ignoring the cold. “Does that Armada of yours have anywhere shallow you can use?” He asked, placing a paw lightly on the surface of the water as he spoke.


"Speech"

“hah. i knew it.” Spider settles beside him in the water, ignoring the biting chill as it laps at their back. “yeah, there’s a beach. and some shallow pools in this cave a boy showed me.” their voice takes on a hopeful edge. “when you’re able, you should come  visit and we can practice our swimming together. maybe Bas can supervise.” they can picture it now, the two of them flailing clumsily as they slowly gain a sense of rhythm, Bas trying to mask his amusement  behind a studious expression.

but then they think of Delphi, and her potential reaction. will she not want Spider to see Strai anymore? she’d be well within her rights; Spider wouldn’t blame her. unbidden, their heart gives a twist of loneliness. “hey…Strai,” they murmur, lifting their gaze to track the first stars as they light the dark sky. “do you think…do you think someone will like me one day? the way you like Delphi?” it has to be a wonderful thing, to have someone you feel so strongly for. to have someone like Bas has Hazel.

"Speech"

He didn’t actually know where the relations between Armada and Heidinn stood. He supposed it was probably something he should figure out eventually, but he also wasn’t too fussed about it. Packs were packs, and they would figure themselves out. Seeing where Spider’s home was would be interesting, more so now that they were friends. He wasn’t so sure about showing off his swimming weakness in front of Spider’s giant father, however… “Possibly. It might be interesting to see where you live one day.” He agreed.

The next question startled Strai, and he looked over at his friend, following their gaze up to the stars, “Do I?” He mused. “Spider. I don’t know if you can tell” -ha.ha, because he hid it so well- “But I hate people. Yet you won me over. That seems to be something inside of you that’s capable of winning anyone over. Do I think someone would like you? I’d be incredulous if someone doesn't”


"Speech"

stars, Strai really is wonderful. Spider smiles at him so hard their cheeks ache, and they have to look away to blink the burning from their eyes. “aw, you big sap,” they joke, bumping their shoulders together. “thanks, Strai - really.” they’re so touched that despite Strai’s discomfort with emotion, he’s being honest with them - reassuring them, even. the poor boy is probably wrung out by now. “let’s get some sleep,” they suggest, standing up and shaking water from their pelt. “i think we could both definitely use it.” they’ll probably nap for at least the next three consecutive days, preferably with a snack or two in-between.


"Speech"