He knew by now what had happened, even if he had not been there to see it for himself. He had heard the howls that shook the night, the howl of Erani calling forth two wolves but had not known what it had been about. He had drifted by at a distance and had smelled the salty tang of blood and death. He had seen, from afar, too afraid to approach, the digging of the grave, such a small and tiny hole for such a small and tiny body and his heart had broken. He had promised her safety here, he had promised her that he would look out for him. He cherished life and had a soft spot in his heart for the young of this world. He would have looked out for her young also, for as long as she remained in this pack and even after if their paths had ever crossed again. He would have seen her have a future, happiness, with her young and he assumed that other wolf who had not been her brother but had been there for the birth. He would have looked out, as he would any wolf, or even more so for she was one who had seen hardness and sadness. His heart was breaking as he made his way to the den, his heart was shattered pieces in his chest as he scented the sadness before he could even see if with his own eyes. It was a heavy musk that hung like death in the air; it was the scent of loss and sickness of the heart. He approached cautiously, hesitant to tread upon her time of grief but as equally unable to keep away. He had promised her protection and he had failed in the most unforgivable way possible, he had not been able to foresee and somehow prevent this. Perhaps if he had brought her food more regularly the pup would have been healthy enough to survive. Oh, damn him, damn him all to hell for failing this mother-no-more. What ate at him the most was his very own words to Twig, ? ?You wouldn?t be the first pregnant fae to wish they could do more. But don?t consider it done just for you, it?s done for those who you carry. As part of this pack, temporary or permanent it is our jobs and our pride to care for the future generations. I don?t think you?re helpless, far from it, you?re just busy in the midst of doing something remarkable right now.? His very words for her, he had told her right to her face that he had helped her had shown her kindness for the pups that she cared. He felt as if he had spat in her face, he felt as if he had betrayed her, he had wanted to give her strength for the times to come, the times of raising children in this world. Now she had no children to raise and he had as good as told her she was not welcome in this pack. He knew he was twisting his own words, he had not meant them to mean he had only welcomed her for the children ? he had meant it in regards that she was not weak well, by carrying them she was unable to care for herself, and that was not her fault, it was a fact to be proud of Alpine?s legs quivered, his dusty blue eyes where filled with silver swirls of pain as he stood outside her den, frozen for the longest moment as he fought with himself, until he was unable to bare it any longer. He took a deep swig of fresh air and pushed his head into the cave to find the pitiful image of Twig, to find her lying in that den alone and broken and the shattered pieces of his heart dug into his chest, slicing him from the inside-out ?Twig? He whispered softly, for a moment he was unable to enter the den, he could feel the pain in his own words but this could not be about him, this could never be about him, his pain was nothing and she was the one in need of comforting. He moved forward, the slow hypnotic pace of one who cannot believe the reality until he was kneeling beside her, moving his head to caress her shoulder with the softness of his nose ?Oh Twig? He whispered again, for he had nothing else to say, there where no other words he could possibly ever say to make this okay again. No, he had failed her; he knew that what he had not done was unforgivable. "Speech"

She was in her den again, well hers and Jinxx's at least. She'd not been able to stay in Erani's alcove for very long, though even here the memories still hung about her. She wished she would dream of her again, to see her sweet alabaster face once more. All she would experience was nightmares though. As a result the girl had kept herself from much sleep, only the drug induced dreamless sleep would be allowed. Even taking such measures Twig had lost more sleep then she cared to admit to. As a result her eyes had grown rather dull, along with her usually brilliant coat. She had eaten little food and had seen even less sunshine. Her will to interact with pack life was little to none, there was a deep pain within her heart that threatened to consume her. It was as though simply breathing has become a laborious action, her grief overpowered her will to get back up. To fight through her pain.?

Her marked eyes were closed and her demeanor was pitiful, ears hung lifeless as her body lay broken upon the den's floor. Jinxx helped her get through the day, but even he had not been able to give her any kind of ease. He was likely out gathering more herbs to help her into fitful slumber. She would hear the paws at her doorstep but she would not move to welcome them or deny them. Her eyes would remain closed as the voice was whispered from the entrance, the presence would appear beside her then. Twig would register the voice and subtle scent of Alpine, his kindness had helped her along. What could he do now though? She felt like a shell, listless eyes would blink open impossibly slow as she found herself leaning into his touch. She felt waves of physical pain ripple across her pelt, movement even causing her distress. Still the gentle touch of a friend she would find was worth it. "It hurts so bad, Alpine. The very blood within my veins courses with agony." Her voice was a raspy whisper as she buried her face in his neck, "She was so beautiful, I want her back so much." she would sob as she found more tears to cry. Would the hurt ever lessen?

His breath was raged and painful, the scent of neglect and pain so thick in the air he could taste nothing else. He could see the way her fur hung limply around her and knew she did not eat. He held back the whimper that built in his chest, he knew that signs of his own pain could only distress her more. Her eyes remained closed to him as he approached and knew that she just simply could not muster up the courage to live. He knew something of loss, but the shared connection of pain did not help him to ease hers, only feel it more keenly eat away inside of him. He could barely bare the sight of her, so ragged and painful and know that there was nothing he could do to stop it. At that very moment he would have ended his own life if it could have in anyway helped her in this moment. He would have given his breath to bring back her baby, her life and end this terrible suffering. Her once mesmerising eyes would blink slowly into existence and he pulled in a ragged breath at the sight of them. He could see her pain a living thing inside of her through those eyes, if they were indeed a portal to her soul then he knew that right now he could see her dying slowly inside of herself. He wanted to badly to throw back his head and howl at this sight, this pain and misery. He knew he did not handle seeing others in pain very well, not when there was nothing he could do to ease it. The sense of helplessness consumed him from the inside. She leaned in towards his touch and he lay down beside her, offering him the warmth and comfort of his body. As she spoke his twisting heart that he did not possibly think could ache more burst into a fresh wave of agony inside of him. ?Dear Twig, I know. I can see it, and feel it And he wondered if his over strong empathy might end him ?Sweet Twig, I know how hard this is, and I have to admit I know no words that can take it away, but believe me, if I could take this pain from you and bare it upon my own shoulders I would. He curled his tail around hers, touched his nose to her coat and he let a deep rumble form in the back of his throat, a soothing sound, almost like a purr would vibrate through him as it had once before. Only, when he made the sound this time there was nothing romantic or enticing to it. Only warmth, companionship and gentleness. He felt nothing romantic for this wolf, but he felt every bit her pain and his friendship for her burned with it. "Speech"

She knew it had to be hard to look upon her and not see how badly she was taking the loss. How it was eating away at her, slowly draining her of the will to carry on. She didn't even think Thenisto's sunny gaze would be able to fully rid her of the blackened clouds that surrounded her. Her scaly throat would utter a ?whine of complete defeat as she felt a fit of sobbing come over her. As she pulled herself into a tighter ball, her muscles coiling and clenching as the waves of anguish washed over her. Alpine would curl around her, holding her as she cried into his shoulder. Fern was gone, it was the simple truth. Twig didn't want it though, her body and her mind would try to fight the reality to no avail. She was drying herself up, it was happening slowly the change in features only showing in the last few days. It was happening though, the girl was wasting away and she had no will to stop it.?

Alpine would offer the only words he could, of situations impossible. His sincerity was taken to heart, but would do little to lessen her misery. How could the world be so cruel, forcing the child upon her and then snatching her away as Twig embraced the beauty of the life that had been within her. Her gorgeous daughter. "Her name was Fern." she would utter weakly, the memory of her dream would comfort her lavishly. Still, she knew the nightmares awaited her. She felt warmer in his embrace, like she would within her own brother's. She would continue to weep, Her legs curled defensively as she pushed herself into Alpine's chest. The pain gripped her heart like icy claws and radiated to the rest of her being. Her heart was truly crushed from the death of the girl. Still gritting her teeth her brows would knit together, "Why did this happen? What was the point? This pain!?" her breathing would grow ragged, as she began to feel nauseous. "What did I do?" her voice would fall to an almost indiscernible whisper. ?

Her sobbing wrenched and tore at him until he felt he may truly rip apart at his seams, he deepened the rumbling in his throat, resting his head against her own so she could feel the gentle, soothing noise vibrate through his body. He could feel her resting against him, could feel her body shake in sobs and pain both mental and physcal and he would tight his chin against her body drawing her clsoer to him as through he could push away her pain simply by touch. He wished that it could be so but knew that it was not. He wanted nothing more then to drive this pain from her, to free her spirit and mind from the lose that held it so tightly now. He wanted it so much one might actually thing he was in love with Twig. It was not so of course, nothing that he felt for her over stepped the boundraies of friendship. No, it was because of his Empathy, it was unnaturally strong and washed over him in almost unbearable waves. He was consumed with the need to help her overcome her pain, he could not see her in pain and bury it or bair it. This sweet fae who held held herself so bravely and spoke in loving tones of her child, she did not deserve this. No, Alpine was not in love with her but that did not lesson his desire to help her. She spoke now of her daughter, telling him her name, and as she burried closer to him he continued his constant vibrating rumbling, soothing purr deep in his throat. ?Oh Twig, you did nothing, you did nothing at all wrong I promise you? He whispered gently, his breath brushing against the base of an ear as he nuzzled her gently with his nose. He stayed wrapped around her, he feared letting her go he feared that if he did she would lose herself to this pain and be gone from this world forever. Ooc: Naww! You drew them, that is sooo adorable <3 "Speech"

Alpine's deep rumbling would soothe her nerves, the rippling of pain over her skin would cease as he pushed his chin into her fur. Still her heart would cry out for the lost babe, her whole body would shudder in need for the tiny girl. His pale form would pull her in closer, as though he would steal away her pain simply by holding her tight. The way he wrapped around her so wholly might have made her question his feelings toward her, but all she would feel was the breaking of a kindred heart. He felt what she was going through, and would comfort her as best as he knew how. He had helped to prepare her for the birth, had brought her rabbits and small game to help her child and her arrival. It had been for naught though, her daughter had not made it through. She hated him, she hated the man who had forced the pregnancy on her. She hated that he had caused her so much grief, who had given him the power to so ruin her?


Alpine would voice to her the innocence she carried, she had not performed any atrocities to deserve this kind of loss. She had loved Fern with all of her heart, but even that had not been enough to save her tiny child. He would whisper as he nuzzled her slate covered ear, but even with his kind words she would feel the dizziness and sickness take hold of her body. She would start to dry heave, having not much of anything within her stomach already. A pitiful whine would leave her lips as her already brittle strength would be spent emptying the contents of her shrunken stomach. She would struggle to stand, her legs wobbly as she pushed herself from the den's floor to take herself outside. The pain would return as it swirled through her limbs while she moved herself into the sun's dying gaze. She would wretch again, emptying her stomach completely and collapsing onto the earth as she spent her flickering energy. Her head would swivel back and forth as she tried yet again to shake off the reality. She was in poor condition to get herself back into the den.?

She wouldn't know what to say to Alpine as she was sure he had followed behind her. She just wanted to lay there and become part of the grass, part of the earth once again. She wanted to see her daughter, and she would have were it not for Alpine's insistent affection. He would hold her back from the next world by but a thread.?

He held her tightly, held onto her as through sheer will could keep her from drowning in her pain and he along with her. He felt every tremor of her body, every shake and every tear break through her as through it were his own. He did not know why he felt so connected to this wolf but he could not deny that her pain had become his own as he held her there, forcing himself to stillness but for the constant rumbling of his chest and throat as he tried to purr away her pain. He felt her heave on her empty stomach, the retching with naught to relieve her sickened stomach. She felt her tear away from him, her struggle to rise as he watched with large, rounded eyes. He watched this dame find enough strength to bring herself to her paws, he could see the weakness in her limbs but he dared not give her his body to lean on. He felt, weather it true or not that this simple movement forced her to find a strength within herself, a will to live. She moved until the sun hit her dulling coat and, having already risen with a need to aid her, a need he had painfully held back until that moment. He brought himself forward towards her as he watched her swivel her head with a determination to flick off whatever thoughts disturbed her. He knelt in the cool grass beside her limp and tired form. He could barely bare the pain of seeing her this way, she had struck him as a wolf of strength and individuality of a need to fend for herself and find her own way in an unforgiving world. Yet here she was now, brought to her knees in pain and emptiness as through she had nothing left to live for, and it killed it. It killed him inside with every moment he saw her inability to rise, to see and fight this world. ?Twig? He once more murmured her name gently, pushing his muzzle once more by her ear as he kneeled in the grass beside her, watching over her form with the protectiveness of a brother over a wronged sister. ?You have a strength inside of you to be proud of, I know, for I have seen it? Words seemed so inadequate, he felt he betrayed with his inability to say his thoughts as truly as he felt them. He closed his eyes, her head still against the top of hers as he struggled to say it as he saw it. ?And there is more yet to live for, I promise you. You will have a future and a life; I know this to be so. Honour her by living this life despite all these happenings that would tear us down? He clenched his jaw to stop the pain and tears that threatened to over flow but he could not stop them all, the gentle drip that fell beneath closed lids to touch against a tawny ear. ?Live it with pride, live it as such that she could only be proud? His voice husky with emotion, tinged with a strength and a need to break through her pain. "Speech"

She wanted Fern. She wanted that beautiful little girl more than she even wanted to live. To show her the world and all the fascination within it, but she would never be able to. Listless gaze would Half open as she watched Alpine follow her to the dewy grasses, his form sliding next her her own. Her tears were drying from dehydration, still she would feel ghostly tears running down her cheeks as he nuzzled her softly. Saying her name he would focus her grieving thoughts upon his voice, and not the alluring sound of Fern's lyrics. He was there with her, his flesh was pressed to hers keeping her rooted to reality. She was still alive, she still had breath within her body. He would encourage her to continue one, he promised her a life of encounters worth staying for. Of bringing honor to Fern's name by continuing on and showing she could make it no matter what was thrown at her. It all hurt so bad. Like her very heart had been torn from her chest as she realized Fern was gone. How could she continue on with the wretched pain that consumed her very being? She would feel the tiny droplets that fell from his muzzle, they were not tears for her daughter but they were wholly for her. For Twig's life, he wanted her to live and to make her baby proud.?

A strangled whine would leave her as she pulled through to realize the truths he was speaking. She had to push through, to find her inner strength to take the pain and sorrow and keep living on. For the one who would never be able to. Fern would still be there waiting when Twig's time came, she had told her herself that they would be together again someday. She couldn't take the easy route. She wasn't that wolf. "But it hurts so. Bad. Alpine," she would stutter as her resolve would continue to grow steadily. She would find herself pushing into his touch as a way to ease her suffering. She would feel the unceasing agony, seemingly never ending press upon her more. Still, she would not and could not take the easy way. He features would push into the base of his neck, her breaths coming in raggedly as she fought for control of herself. She was facing a battle against terrible anguish, and she felt as though she were losing.?

If he could just bring her through the shroud of pain that clouded every thought and minute of her being, if he could help her through this until she could stand without trembling legs, eat without bringing it back up or walk the lands of the pack without tears slipping down her cheeks. He knew nothing could truly bring away the pain that held so terribly to her, he needed only to raise her above it, to feel it without being consumed by it. He felt her regain her strength and her will; he could see the resolve in her eyes and knew his words had done something to pierce her shroud of misery. That doing it for fern was easier than doing it for herself.



He felt his own agony lesson, he was able to breathe again as he became an individual once more, and not another limb to Twig caught in her misery as keenly as if it were his own. It was just that he could not bare to see her in such pain, and wished he could take some of that pain away, to put it on his own shoulders to relieve it from hers. He felt her dig closer to him, drawing from his strength and he gave it to her gladly. Once more he would fold himself around her protectively, this time beneath the soft glow of the dying day and against the coolness of the earth.
?I know Twig, I know. It will always hurt, but time will dull the pain. You just have to survive the next little while, but you?ll find your will to live again?
He promised her gently, folding his head down over hers as she pushed gently into the base of his neck, and he held her again, promising her protection from the world.
[colo=lightblue] ?Now.. please, can I get you some food, and liquid? You need all the strength you can get? [/color]
he murmured to her gently, feeling a pinch of hope in his chest, for if she agreed would be a big step in her mourning.



"Speech"

It was terrible, not having her there with her, learning about the world and growing up into a beautiful she wolf. She was angry at all the time that was stolen from her, angry that she would get the chance to raise her little girl. But mostly she was simply heartbroken because she hadn't been able to birth her alive. Alpine told her she was not at fault, but it felt so much like she was the one to fail her child. Like she hadn't been strong enough to stop her creation she wasn't strong enough to keep her alive through gestation. It was that thought that would keep her from pulling father away from her sorrow, though alpine was correct to see the slightest hint of a spark back in her royal purple eyes. She would feed off of his warmth and strength so freely given to her as she started to pull herself from the vast oceans of misery. It would take much time, but Twig would survive her ordeal. Sadness would be her only companion for many moons, but she would pull through. With no small thanks to Alpine. His words would soothe her as she felt her sobbing start to subside, her body's convulsions ending. She would find a reason to go on, if only for Alpine telling her she needed to survive.?

He would gently offer to retrieve her sustenance, but the girl was still rather sickly. She would try though, not knowing if her stomach would comply. "I will try." her words were meek as she let herself soak in his warmth before he left, "But, would you help me to the den. I don't know when Jinxx will be back." she didn't want to ask more of him, because already she had asked too much. He had suffered with her in the den, shouldering her sorrow as they mourned together. She would sigh heavily, it would be a long journey forward.?

In inability to do nothing was one of the hardest fears to overcome, and Alpine looked on at the struggling wolf and felt every bit of pain a blow and his own failure in not knowing how to overcome this, to not have known that this would happen and have found a way to stop it before it could have broken her. In a strange little way he missed the unborn wolf also, for the light and life she would have brought Twig, for the legacy and future she would have been a growing pup in this pack.


Another sense of relief would touch him at her acceptance to her request. He acknowledged also her request to help her back to her den, surprised and pleased that her independence allowed her to ask it of him. He began to rise then, leaning ever so slightly in a way that allowed him to take her weight as she rose also. Together, they made the slow walk back to the den, in a few steps they were inside, and a few more until they were in a good resting place and he waited to ensure she was alright before slipping out of the den once more.


It was with a heavy mind that he sought out the scent of prey, hurried and not wishing to leave her for long he stalked the first scent that crossed his path. It was a short time later that he would appear outside her den once more, the small ferret dangling from his jaws. He scratched as the side of the den to announce his presence before slipping in.
He rested the ferret in front of her, and sat back on his hunches, looking at her.
?Don?t worry about waste, I?ll eat whatever you can?t?
He promised her gently, nodding his head to prompt her to eat. He knew also that it was getting late and that soon he would be leaving her for the night, hopefully in the able paws of her brother rather then alone


Ooc: Maybe we should get something to happen or end the thread? :)



"Speech"