So much had happened since she had come to take over Tortuga. She first entered a pack who's current residents were wary of her presence, and she understood that. Over time she felt as if they'd over-come that hurtle, as they were faced with many different challenges. The earth-quake had of course been the one that the whole pack new about, in the after-math promotions were made. The biggest promotion was that of Qanik, Roman had brought her to be her legionary, or her beta- because she felt she could trust the judgement of the older woman. So far, Roman hadn't been disappointed, and she didn't feel like she would be. So many new wolves filled their ranks, some she had yet to meet and others she had accepted herself. The day before she decided to call this meeting, she had nearly fell from a cliff, only to be saved by one of the many new faces in Tortuga. Her body ached from her 'adventure', and her feelings from the whole event were mixed. Had Faust been moments later, she'd likely be dead and Tortuga would find her crumpled body. The thought of that scared her, and had brought her to this moment, where she was sitting at the base of the peak, just at the tree-line. She didn't feel the need to get close to the water, she wasn't thirsty- and there was no point in getting soaked from the spray in the late fall. Letting out a sigh, she tilted her head back, calling for Qanik, hoping the other woman wasn't to busy. They had much to discuss, and Roman wanted to catch her up on her own news, as well as hear what the over ivory woman may have to say about what she had noticed going on in the pack. The song she sung, calling only for one soul ended as smoothly as it began and she settled back, albeit slowly, to her haunches to rest and wait for the arrival of her legionary. Speech,

Qanik

in defense of the innocent

Qanik was keeping herself busy, burying herself in her new duties as a shield against the moodiness and depression that often fought to keep her in her den brooding. She was happy in the pack, happy to make a difference and help keep the pack running smoothly. If only her personal life hadn't taken such a drastic downward spiral. But enough of that - she wasn't allowing herself time to focus on personal issues. Tortuga came first, as she'd known it would have to from the start.

Roman's call reached her ears as she paced the border, and she was quick to turn her steps toward the peak Roman had called from. It took a little time, as the peak was at the far end of the territory - time enough to worry about why she was being summoned, but Qanik finally slowed from her lope to stop a few paces from the queen. She bowed her head respectfully, a murmured greeting falling from her lips. Cobby head raising once more, she studied the younger woman surreptitiously as she waited to learn why she'd been called.



speech.

cowardice is the only sin

She was left alone for her mind to wander, while she waited for Qanik and it strayed to many things, but none more daunting than the events of the day before and her 'savior'. She seriously had to figure all of that out, but she tried to force herself to stay focused, she needed to concentrate on the pack. Tortuga was growing, yes, but it had a long way to go before the sheer size would help ward off potential attacks. At the moment, they were vulnerable and Roman didn't like it. The scent of Qanik was the first thing that alerted Roman to her arrival, and moments later the white woman appeared. Roman smiled warmly at her, as he greeted her, her own greeting rolling from her mouth easily. She sighed slightly, before speaking. "Tortuga is growing, and a lot has happened." She paused, "I wanted to keep you up to date on things. I was reminded of my own mortality yesterday, and it was like a slap in the face, that I wasn't speaking with you as often as I should be." She admitted, a rueful chuckle leaving her. "I don't want to keep you out of the loop, when it comes to information and I feel like I have been, for that I apologize." If anything happened to her, Qanik was the one who would have to keep Tortuga going, who would have to protect their family. She paused, to give the older woman time to speak. Speech,

Qanik

in defense of the innocent

Roman's easy smile made it clear that Qanik had not been called for some wrong-doing, and Qanik relaxed minisculy. Roman began to speak about Tortuga's growth, and the amount of things that had happened, and Qanik nodded agreement. Tortuga had been growing quickly, between the hurricane earlier in the year and the earthquake more recently, Roman taking over the pack and her own unexpected promotion, pack hunts and everything... it had been a lot.

Roman's words about realizing her own mortality registered suddenly, and Qanik's gaze sharpened questioningly, but she didn't interrupt, and Roman continued, apologizing for not speaking with her more often. Qanik shook her head. "No need to apologize for that, Roman," she spoke. "If there is fault it is as much mine as yours for not seeking you out." She studied her for a moment, still concerned about the mortality comment but letting it pass for now. She was worried, but there was a time and a place for everything, so she was compelled to instead inquire, "What was it you wanted me to know?" She understood the need for more than just the alpha to know the information that would allow the pack to survive and move forward, understood that Roman was preparing her for the possibility of needing to take care of the pack if she were to die, but she was a little worried that Roman had chosen her for this knowledge.



speech.

cowardice is the only sin

To Roman, there was something about Qanik that made her easy to talk too. Whether it was the older woman's age or simply the way that she carried herself- the ivory queen did not know. All that Roman did know, was that Qanik was worth her trust. She didn't miss the way Qanik's gaze sharpened when Roman spoke of her mortality, and though the woman wanted to confess her feelings about the events of the day prior... she wasn't sure about it. Admittedly, it wasn't like she had anyone else to talk too. Roman blinked in surprise as the other woman spoke, saying that it was as much of Qanik's fault as Roman's. Roman looked at her for a moment, but decided to leave it there. There'd be time later to discuss who was more at fault. When Qanik asked what they needed to know, Roman took in a deep breath and began to list off what she knew, "I know you've met Misha, Dayton, and perhaps August. There is another wolf I accepted- Faust." Could Qanik see the confused emotions on her face as she spoke his name? She paused for a second, before continuing. "Arcanum, a pack to the south, is a new ally. Their Queen Cataleya, is quite the interesting woman. I think that they will pose a useful friend, should we ever need anything." She paused again, before finishing for the moment. " I am wanting to go talk to some of the other packs, soon to see where we stand- get to meet their rulers."

She stopped speaking for a moment, thinking- wasn't there something else she had to say? Her brow furrowed in concentration for a second and she laughed slightly, the sound sudden after her speech. "I think my brain must be addled, I feel like I had more to tell you." She shook her head slightly before muttering. "Perhaps I hit my head harder than I thought." Her voice low- the words almost to herself.

Qanik listened intently as Roman spoke of the wolves she had accepted lately. Something seemed off when she spoke of the wolf Qanik had yet to meet, but Qanik couldn't quite decipher the expression so she made a note to track this Faust down herself and see if there was something there to be concerned with, and for now spoke up to add, "I have accepted a few members myself that I haven't had the chance to introduce to you. A male, Aldoro, and two females, Aithusa and Elli. Elli is a trained healer, though she expressed a desire to be a guardian rather than a healer. I have hopes that she will train Gossamir in that craft." Roman had spoken of a new ally, Arcanum, and it's queen who was of interest. Qanik cocked her head to the side consideringly. "Interesting how?" she wondered aloud, with faint wariness. Not that she didn't trust Roman's judgement, but her time as a loner as well as so many changes in such a short time had left Qanik somewhat leery of trusting strangers. "Perhaps next time you speak to another pack, you might consider bringing one of Tortuga's more... trustworthy warriors with you?" she added delicately. She didn't want to step on Roman's toes, but Roman's safety was one of her foremost concerns. With a steady warrior by her side, one who wouldn't interfere with delicate negotiations or ruin them altogether with an emotional outburst, Roman would be at least a little safer when she went to meet with pack leaders. She would have to consider carefully as to the best to send with her... Hmm... She shook herself out of her reverie. "Please don't feel like you need to have a lot of things to discuss to call for me, Roman. My job is to do your will, so knowing this will help me to do that, but I also consider myself your friend. It is certainly no hardship for me to answer your call, whatever the reason," she told her gently. Especially if that reason is because you needed the comfort of seeing a friendly face, she added silently to herself. OOC: ermehgerd Roamer thank you so very much for the lovely new table! Speech,

Roman listened, taking note of the three wolves that Qanik had accepted. One of them was a trained healer, and at that her ears pricked. Good, they were in need of a healer. She nodded, taking in Qanik's words about them, she trusted the other woman's judgement in accepting the members. If they had passed Qanik's judgement, then surely they would be fine additions. "I look forward to meeting these wolves." She spoke thoughtfully. As she spoke about Arcanum, she didn't miss Qanik's reaction and gave a slight chuckle. "The Queen claimed to provide a home for the outcasts of society, training them into warriors. She came to us, after speaking to Glaciem." She explained, her mind wandered briefly to the meeting with the Queen, it had been short but she felt that the alliance held sincerity to the other Queen. Cataleya, certainly was an interesting she-wolf, one that Roman would gladly speak further with. "I also have spoken with the Queen of Ebony. We didn't come to an agreement of an alliance... I intend to go back there. I needed to take some time and deal with some personal emotions, and I didn't think I could clearly decide for the pack..." She trailed off slightly. She was hesitant to say what had happened, but she also wanted to disclose the information with Qanik. After all, all of Ebony knew by now. She had told her father, and that was insanely difficult... why did it seem so much harder to admit it again. "Before I ever knew of Tortuga... I was off exploring the south, while I was apart of Glaciem. I was brash... I ended up in a situation with a male... and he won." She paused for a few moments, taking a deep breath and looking away- over at the horizon. She didn't want to see the look that surely would change in the other woman's face when she admitted this. "He raped me. She admitted, the words tasting like bile in her throat. Taking a shaky breath, she turned her gaze back to Qanik. "The male who.. raped... me, is now a member of the Ebony pack." She explained. "Needless to say... I wasn't sure if I could honor an alliance to their pack. I'm still not sure, though I don't seek to harm the male." She paused for a few moments, before adding. "I forgave him, but I don't know... I just don't know." And oh how fitting it was that Qanik would suggest that she take someone with her, she nodded slowly. "Ebony is the only pack I sought out alone, I kind of stumbled upon their scent as was curious." She admitted with a chuckle. "However, I will take care to take someone with me when I go speak to the other packs. " She didn't care to go back to Ebony alone. It was still to raw, something she didn't want to think about. At Qanik's last words, Roman stared at her gratefully. "I consider you a friend too, and thank you, Qanik." She spoke softly, her tone just loud enough for the dame to hear. Roman had this bad habit, something she considered a weakness, of keeping things to herself. She hadn't really let herself bond with anyone, make friends to confide secrets too, and sometimes those feelings were too much. Perhaps she could truly begin to confide in Qanik? Speech,

Qanik dipped her head to acknowledge Roman's words concerning the new members. Her explanation of the Arcanum queen however, drew mixed feelings from the older wolf. The outcasts of society, drawn together in a pack? Mostly she was skeptical - though often wolves were outcaste unfairly for reasons beyond their control, most who would be considered as such were the dregs of society. The killers, the rapists, the apathetic and the evil. The idea of allying with such made her skin crawl, but she kept her face carefully neutral as she nodded. She would need to trust Roman's judgement in this. She listened carefully as Roman spoke of another pack that she'd spoken to but had been unable to come to an agreement with. Qanik became increasingly concerned as Roman spoke, her brow furrowing as Roman hesitated. Her mouth felt suddenly dry, her eyes widening as Roman confessed she'd been raped by the male. Her hackles rose without conscious thought, an unaccustomed fury bubbling up through her shock. Ebony gave sanctuary to a rapist, Roman's rapist? "Would they agree to some form of reparation? You may have no wish to harm him, but..." Her voice came out strange, jagged and hot. Reasonable she may be, but Qanik was not one to permit harm to her family, no matter how far in the past that injury was. But Roman had said she did not want to harm him and so she would hold herself in check, though her heavy form was held stiffly in the desire to rend the creature who would dare to force himself on Qanik's alpha. She was even more glad to hear that Roman would bring a member of Tortuga when she next set out on a diplomatic venture, though now the urge was there to triple the guard. Roman's words, admitting that she thought of Qanik as a friend as well, nearly brought a lump to her throat. With an internal sigh, the white wolf forced herself to relax from her stiff-legged posture. "I am glad to hear that." Hesitant, as she didn't know how Roman felt about physical contact, she stepped closer and bumped her forehead affectionately against the alpha's shoulder. "You saved this pack, you know," she murmured. "It was dying before you came, and you made a family out of us." Speech,

Roman knew that Arcanum could become a powerful ally, the pack was new- and perhaps the female was a bit quick in accepting the alliance, but she always relied on her gut instinct. That gut instinct hadn't screamed that it was a bad idea, so she of course, accepted it. Cataleya was an interesting woman to speak with, one that Roman later hoped to have a more in depth and perhaps more personal conversation with. They were both Queens, yes, but that didn't mean that they couldn't get to know one another. As she spoke of Ebony, she watched Qanik, save for the moments she had to look away. However, she didn't miss the hackles rising on the other woman at the words that Roman said, and she fought the childish urge not to flinch away. She held her place though, even though she couldn't help but feel as if some of the other woman's anger were directed towards her. Trying to box in her emotions, emotions that she knew weren't appropriate she replied to Qanik's questions. "She asked if I wanted retribution. I declined it." She said simply, her tone weak. "If my father knew how weak I was... how I let him walk away... He'd be ashamed. She chuckled slightly, her voice holding a sarcastic edge too it, though her eyes reflected that fear. She did fear her father's judgement. She felt as if she was going to let everyone down. Qanik moved, bumping her muzzle against Roman's shoulder and the queen relished in the contact. It warmed her heart, as Qanik spoke but also prodded the burden in her mind. Would she disappoint them all? Leaning forward, she returned the contact, her own muzzle brushing out to brush against the other woman's shoulder. As she pulled away, she admitted, "I constantly feel like I'm messing up. Like I'm going to do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing and let everyone down. This pack is my family now, I feel like letting you down... would destroy me." No, she hadn't intended to let this conversation become so raw- so emotional but once the bottle had been uncorked it seemed she couldn't stop herself. Would Qanik think less of her for speaking of her insecurities as a leader? Roman felt that they made her less of a leader, that constant fear of letting the pack down. Perhaps they weren't the words that Qanik had expected, and Roman found herself wondering if she really had saved Tortuga? Was the pack any better under her leadership? Some days she felt like she was drowning. Speech,