Love You Like I've Never Been Broken
It had been so long. Would she think him dead or perhaps worse? Would she be able to forgive him for disappearing as he had? A year had rolled by without a word or a sound to one another and the void was silent and unfilled. At least, that's how it was on his part. He did not expect to get to her and find that she had waited for him all that time. ?That would be selfish and he had done enough of that in disappearing already. Now, he felt as though nothing would deliver him from this particularly weighty sin, and to top that off; how could she want a monster such as he? ?
?
? It was as bad as it sounded. Gideon James has become a scarred massacre. He had become and abomination and gods of was ugly. He was terrifying in the most unrealistic ways, and to look at his eyes (one completely burned gone) and find that it was actually him...it was difficult. His life was a complete miracle at that point. Of course, he had risked it trying to save the damned brother of the only woman he could claim to love. He had done it because her family was her world, and he would not risk that as it has been in the past. For one, Gideon would not do anything to make things better for himself, but for someone else. That in itself was a rare feat. Today, though, was about looking for lost love and seeing if it was there at all. If he repulsed her, of course, he would leave. If she had given her heart to another he would also go. Her happiness had become the only thing of relevance.
?Gideon stood on what seemed to be the [new] Valhallan borders and he stated forward with eyes that almost seemed scared. He did not look good, but he still looked the same, and immediately he called for her. A long and immediate howl. Something that had to be done else he be scared away. That was something worth trying to do. Gideon could feel every fear that he had rise through his throat. It stirred and at and did its best to make him and more frightened. Had he ever actually been frightened of something? No, he had not. Now he was and he would admit it. He was scared of being alone from then on to forever--his light was coming back to him. His moon, he just prayed there was still room in her sky for him to sit.?
The mist would wrap around her as she went, swirling before her and behind her - stopping her from seeing just who was waiting for her until they could see her as well. Her husband, Gideon, was gone. He was gone - he had vanished, that was simply what she had accepted, it had been a year since she had last seen him. And yet Syrinx had returned - if her brother could return to these lands, couldn't Gideon? But Syrinx was expected to fade in and out of the lives of his family, he was hers but he did not belong to her as Gideon had. Yet still, he had disappeared and left her to pick up the pieces on her own. He wouldn't do that unless he had died.
But the scent that gently wafted beneath her senses was very much alive.
Her slow pace became a dash as she closed in on the other. Alive - Gideon Matthias was alive, his heart was pounding at Valhalla's borders and he had come here, called for her. It didn't feel real! Even as she stood before him, taking in his charred figure, missing fur and features from his face - particularly an eye. Yet she would not question whether this marred lupine was her husband, she knew exactly who he was, and she could have cared less what he looked like, only that he was there.
A moment of awe would pass, and if he didn't slip the first word in, she would exclaim without warning. "Gideon!" Her lips would spread into a toothy grin, her tail wagging a mile a minute behind her. "You're alive - you came back!" She would give him a proper scolding for leaving her side, most definitely - but for now, she couldn't help but just be happy that he had somehow made it back from what she assumed were the throws of death. She would nuzzle his unmarred side, and place a kiss to his cheek - she had missed him, and despite how upset it made her that he had vanished, she still loved him.
If he decided to stay, she would not let him out of her sight - but at the same time, she wouldn't expect him to stay - not like before. If Chrysanthe had learned anything it was that men walked in and out of her life whenever they had the chance. Demonio, Themisto, even Gideon - had all proved that she alone could not keep them happy and beside her without some sort of hitch, complication or vanishing. Thrice scorned, her expectations were severely cut, and yet she had not given up enough to stop giving out chances. "What happened? Where did you go? Are you alright?"
Gideon had not known exactly what to expect upon his arriving home. Dealing with all of it was an entirely too scary thought for him to cope with well, but the fact of the matter remained he had considered every possibility. Chrysanthe was gorgeous, and it wasn?t in bias that he said anything towards her appearance. She was regal--she carried herself like a Queen and presented the attitude of one; while she also had the exterior of a warrior. She was a winner in almost any way unless a man preferred a dainty thing that needed tending to and protection. She wasn?t one that anyone had to worry about ever really being harmed. Unless, you were Gideon and this was a constant fear. He?d never be able to let anyone directly hurt her and sit comfortably while they got away with it. So, what kind of husband was he that a mere month or so after she was wounded by the Glaciem king he disappeared? An awful one; most certainly. He wouldn?t beg for her forgiveness or her mercy, no--that would be much too much. It was not even that he would have been okay with it all. Though, if she had moved on to someone else it only meant that she was done with his sorry self and he was more than capable of getting by on the thought someone was making her happy. He only preferred that it was him.
?Still, for whatever reason she heard his call and she still came to him; that was the most surprising thing. She was coming to see him and she was moving so fast and she was everything that he could recall. She was beautiful and she moved with such an elegant purpose he couldn?t expect much else. A quick sigh rushed from his breath; and for various aforementioned reasons he half expected her to slam into him and make him regret the day. She should have punished him, but that was not going to be his reward for his wrongdoings. Not at her hand, clearly. A smile illuminated his face at the sight of her, but this was also a smile that held something melancholic. There was a bit of reluctance in his eyes too. He didn?t want her to forgive him. The scars on his flesh were not enough in his mind and he felt soured that he couldn?t offer her more for her trouble. Maybe there was pleasure that he had come back a bit different.
? Her kisses burned more than the fire that had touched his body. The love and excitement there was enough to have killed him, but immediately he returned the same affections. Touching her and nuzzling her and pressing his nose into the curve of her neck, breathing her in, and breathing his warm breath back onto her neck. She was marvelous. Especially to come to him as she was. A hard pressed smile rose across his features begrudgingly, but he could not deny the explicit happiness growing in his heart and in his mind. ?Chrysanthe,? The warm taste of her name was almost foreign and slightly taboo. He should not have been allowed to say it with so much happiness, but it was irrevocable. A sigh slipped from his muzzle as she began to question him. Gideon pulled away and stared at her with tireless charge. There was so much he needed to say, but so much he wanted to run from, ?You?re angry with me,? He was not going to question it. He almost needed her to be angry with him.
? ?I?m alright,? and it was no thanks to her brother and certainly no thanks to the fact that he loved her so damn much. She had been an almost pain monger to his mind for so long. Because he had known that leaving her was wrong. He had known that he should have said something--anything; if only to quell her fears. Though, maybe a sadistic part of him had hoped and prayed she would move on and leave him for someone so much better. Those thoughts alone should have been enough to prove it all to him. Still, his heart beat erratically even to just look at her and his mind seemed to move at inhuman speeds, ?Your brother and I got-well he got caught in the fire. I tried to save him. I think he was better off than me, actually,? He was proud to admit that it was in an act of heroism that he had acted, but it was alternatively an act of cowardice that had turned him to flee and to stay gone. For a year. He was not a good husband. Not a good man, ?I didn?t think you?d want something damaged. You?d do better without me,? He rolled his shoulders and his head angled downward as he stared at the ground to mumble a single thing more, ?Some things--or wolves don?t change. I?m standing here and even after everything I?m selfish because I still want to hold on to you. My love for you has always been a selfish thing, Chrysanthe. I just know somewhere that is not right,? Maybe the admittance of it helped some, but regardless; there was a terrifying bite to what ate at his mind.