Autumn was a great time to gather herbs, or more over the last time to do it before the winter blew over. Arian had spent enough time in Seracia to know they had a large selection of herbs in this gulley, let alone all the dangerous plants as well. Though, confident enough the girl was sure she knew the difference between the helpful ones and the not so helpful ones. Things here in her home had been rather quiet, more or less boring. Arian had to find her own things to do, and make sure everyone was healthy as she had promised her alphess and her friends. That was how she saw it anyhow, but for the first time in her life she was being reminded of the pain she felt when she saw her dad die, and her mother and siblings starve because of their inability to hunt and survive. As it stood, surviving was the most important thing, but so was mental health. She sighed, nuzzling through the feverfew patch she had found to make sure they were ripe and alright to pick. It reminded her of the days her father would brag about the stories of the kingdoms their heritage ensued. A few of the wolves were real, though lots of them now long gone, it made her feel like she was part of something bigger. While now she was alone, her adopted parents were in ebony, and her siblings only Denki knew where. While Hajime and Vahva she hadn?t spoken to since she became priest. Neither had she spoken to virgil since she had her litter of pups. It nearly felt like she was losing connection with everyone, which was a high possibility. Arian?s ears flicked to the sound of the wind, raising herself as she stepped back a bit. All these thoughts were growing in her and she wondered if she?d ever be able to live in a dream like the ones she was told as a child. Her blue eyes shut for a few moments, and opened again. She was the last with this eye patch and she would wear it with pride, it was the same with her hopes of becoming someone the pack depended on. She didn?t have much experience, but she did have the habit of listening, and listening well. Stories, and problems that everyone had told her she stored in memory, it was like how she was already smart when younger as well. The girl shook her head, pulling some of the feverfew from the roots, keeping sure to be delicate with them. She really didn?t have a den, so these would be stored in her little secret place in the barn she had settled for the herbs to keep them healthy at least through the winter and be useable for the sick. Her paws carefully stepping in each direction, placing in places that would not crush the other herbs so that they would grow for next year. Raising her head full of herbs, her eyes scanned the land for anyone who might be lurking, maybe just false hope with the silence. TALK LIKE THIS

The more time that passed, unknown as to whether or not Tahlia had safely delivered her children, unknown to how any of her adopted family was doing, the woman felt a deep sense of emptiness within her heart. The pawsteps she took were slow, leading her through the territory though not necessarily at a fully aware state. Her head was lowered, her crimson rimmed white orb focused upon the ground. The Queen would let out such a soft sigh, ears lowered as she moved in what she believed to be one of the less visited areas of Seracia. Through her travels in the area she had noticed that many herbs grew in the area. Useful for those that were healers to be sure... meaning if she would run into anyone here it was more likely to be Arian, the young fae she re-accepted as a priest of their pack. She hadn't seen Loccian in some time. She both hoped that the other woman was doing well and, at the same time, wasn't sure if she could face her right now. The rules she had agreed on... had she had any idea they would have brought Tahlia and the children a fate of leaving Seracia would she had taken alphaship? Would she had stayed? A sigh would leave Des' lips. The woman still made sure to eat, even if she was forcing herself to do so. Depressed or not she couldn't afford to lose too much strength... and... she had the feeling... a dark feeling in her gut that something was going to happen. The woman would press on, passing within Arian's line of sight though not looking to her. The woman, in her mind, was alone. In the end, though she was of a lighter path now, no longer murdering victims, she had no true family. She was aging... ever aging. When winter came around once more she would be six years old... six years old with no mate or living children. A pang would strike her chest. She missed Dillinger. How she missed him. "Speech",'Thought.'

Destruction would never be able to pass by Arian without the young girl looking her over, studying every inch of her to make sure she was alright. In fact it had become a rather hard habit of hers to check over the one?s she loved and cared for to make sure they were physically and mentally fit. And for the fact that she was being ignored, Arian knew that something was wrong. It made her sad inside, who did this to her what made her so sad? The woman knew these questions that raised deep inside of her gut were not something so odd. After all, it was like her father, whenever there was something wrong, he never outwardly expressed it rather he blew it off and helped others. Arian however had no problems other than the sad feelings of realizing that she was now slightly more alone than she had been in her childhood. Setting down the feverfew she started towards the alphess and stood in front of her. More than enough noise being made to make her presence known. ?Destruction, are you alright? I?ve been gathering some feverfew here, since winter is coming.? maybe a change of subject from her lips would help? Arian wanted to think of herself as a own personal therapist of Seracia. If a wolf was in need of help, or someone even just to talk to she was here for them. In the end of it all, Arian knew just having someone willing not to judge and listen was enough. But regardless, the little wag of her tail and the soft smile she gave to the woman was trying to give her a sense of comfort if any at all. TALK LIKE THIS

The noise of the approaching wolfess would break Destruction from her thoughts. The Queen would lift her head, ears lifting slight. But she was unable to hide the expression on her face before Arian asked if she was okay, not that doing so would have made much of a difference. The girl had already seen her state, at least on an outward level. The woman wasn?t sure what to say at first, debating whether or not to admit to the girl what was on her mind. So, to give herself a little time, she would comment upon the herb gathering. ?It is good that you are being mindful of keeping up a good store of herbs, Arian, especially when plants would be more scarce.? The woman would then let a sigh, looking away from the younger she wolf before her. ?I am... Troubled. I suppose it has been like this for quite some time now, though it has been growing worse through time.? The woman would take a seat before the girl now. ?I?ve just been doing a lot of thinking on myself and my decisions is the easiest way to put it.? She was no longer looking at Arian. ?But... What of you? Have you managed to keep yourself busy enough? Or at least happy?? Speech,

Arian was more than enough on intent to listening to the woman, glee filling her with the comments about the herbs. Though, it seemed whatever was troubling her, she was more than reluctant to speak to her about. Making the girl frown slightly, lowering and tilting her head to one side in a rotated fashion. Though once the alphess took her seat Arian settled herself on her rump, mouth open as she continued to listen ears flickering to the sounds. By the way she wasn?t looking at her, perhaps it was best not to leave her alone. Who knew what would happen and she needed to know that the young girl was here for her, whether she would be much help or not she didn?t know but it was better than no one. ?Quite frankly, I?ve been doing a lot of thinking myself. With how quiet things are around here I?ve been haunted by my own thoughts while herb hunting. It?s like some scary ghost story.? She giggled, flicking her tail. She softly smiled, and looked at destruction soon after. ?But, regardless of that, you?re free to share with me what?s bothering you. I may not be old, and I may not be able to offer the experienced advice you might require. But you need to know that I?ll be here for you no matter what happens.? She showed off her canines. Hoping that this would give her at least some boost of confidence. TALK LIKE THIS

Yes... Exactly. The quietness of Seracia was troubling enough. It was as if the entire pack were just a bunch of ghosts or hallucinations... Wolves that you might see on occasion and not see again for quite some time. Even after Destruction had tried to get others to be more active in the pack, whether it be for hunting, sparring, training... Very little got done. The only ones who were making any attempt at progress from what she had observed personally were Iorwerth and Arian, though she knew a couple others had acceptable reasons. She was going to check in on some of the others when she got the chance, though now, with her thought so troubled, was not the best time for such a thing. Arian?s offer to share her troubles, to share the burden they placed upon her, was one she wasn?t quite expecting. The girl was young and it was true it wasn?t likely she would have any experience at all with things that could relate to her darker past, but perhaps she would understand the loss she felt. No... She was almost certain Arian would understand that. As far as Destruction knew she didn?t have anyone left in Seracia... So really... She wasn?t too different from the dark woman herself in that aspect. ?Before I begin, Arian... Do you know of two former Seracian by the name of Tahlia and Bane?? It would perhaps be easier to understand if the girl knew of them. Destruction would glance back towards her, her single orb filled with sadness. Speech,

Well it was for certain Arian had not gone through that much, she had much to learn, and what she did know was through stories told by those around her. By the magnificent deeds done, and the most horrible ones done, by all those of her family heritage. And then the noble ones of her adopted family at that, on both sides both adopted and genetic there were things she wouldn?t just throw out and forget. There were things like the death of her father, starving of her siblings that she would never forget either. One thing that led to another making her who she was, and she still kept the same straight face through it all. Thinking about all the sad souls she would carry with her, and the songs still to sing, stories to be created to be retold through the years. That was how they would stay within the air. Arian listened to the alphess for a moment before sitting back on her haunches. She shifted uncomfortably for a moment searching through memories. She was certain she had seen Thalia at least once, and Bane was a man she had only heard stories about most of them to avoid the man. Though she was never to judge a wolf she had never met. Unless she trusted the word of mouth, she still would rather meet them herself and decide on her own. After spending some time in amenti while Syrinx was in rule she had learned a thing or two about deception. It was a rather tricky shadowy art that Arian probably shouldn?t have even been exposed to. ?I had seen Thalia around maybe once or twice when younger, but bane I know nothing but of the stories I?ve been told of him.? Arian looked at the woman, with soft and comforting eyes, ones that would listen quietly. ?They were important to you?? she asked curiously in a lighter tone. TALK LIKE THIS

Destruction would give a nod as Arian asked the question. ?Yes... They both were. Many only know Bane as a trouble maker... And yes, he made mistakes. He did not live by Seracia rules, but he was not as bad a man as everyone thought him to be. What I am going to tell you, Arian, is something very few wolves know. Only Bane, Tahlia, and Loccian know of this. I first came to Seracia and joined under Maverick as a wolf much darker than I am now. A wolf who would by others be considered evil. I lived by my name, Forbidden Destruction, an assassin and murderer. I was not right when I joined... And some time after I did I met Bane. I can not say that at the time I cared for him at all. In fact I hated him... But... Our meeting would lead the the birth of a single pup. The small grave here in Seracia is the one occupied by him. As he grew I began to develop lighter feelings, sparked by motherhood. I felt love, for the first time since my own parents were murdered before my eyes and I was forced into the life of an assassin. I would do anything for this child... He was my pride and joy. But... He would grow sick... And I would not be able to bring myself to ask for help in treating him. I didn?t know how. No one even knew he was alive... Bane would find me on the day he died. It was Dilinger?s death that made me realize that I needed others... Needed to trust them more and open my heart. I would make a sort of amends with Bane... And I would become his friend. He asked me, too, that if he were to become a father if I would watch over his children as a god mother should anything happen to him... And one day that came true. Bane and Tahlia had children. But... Before they were born Bane was exiled. He had done something terrible... Yet... I feel part of it is my blame. He stole a child. His own child with another woman. I don?t know why he did, or why the child got injured, but I can?t help but feel if I had just let him see Dilinger that maybe, just maybe he wouldn?t have done it. Regardless... Bane was banished. I would become a closer to friend to Tahlia and watch over the children as promised. I was even supposed to start training Nako, the son he brought here by another woman. I would go to see him too... Though in secret. Then Loccian, falling ill after the horrible storm, would ask me to take care of Seracia for her. I would accept... She was the first wolf who I had ever spoken to of these matters and I trusted her. We spoke of what was to be done with the wolves here... And certain things to keep our numbers organized. Little did I know that in agreeing to this I accepted the very law that got Tahlia and her pups sent away from Seracia. I don?t know where they are now... If they are okay. I can?t bring myself to check the Rio Grande where Bane had been living. ...Then, as if that wasn?t enough members began leaving Seracia left and right. I?ve been trying to hold it together for Loccian but... I feel like every step I?m taking is wrong. Everything is falling apart and, in the end, I?m going right back to where I started... With pretty much no friends and a broken faith. I don?t know what to do anymore... Seracia feels empty... I feel empty... I?m lost...? ...and the events leading up to her current state would be spoken, released from her heart and her head onto Arian?s ears. Speech,

As words were spoken, Arian would listen. Destruction was hurting on the inside, and it was even more than enough for her to trust her and be outward with these feelings. Yes all that she had heard about Bane were bad things, but from this woman's point of view it wasn't all that bad. To herself as well, Bane probably had his reasons, his feelings and there was nothing wrong with that. Everyone here, every wolf that lived and breathed were not perfect. There were stories of the evil, there were stories of the good. And whether they switched to one or another was all up to them and those around them. She could tell from the bottom of her heart, Destruction was one of those souls she wished to carry with her. From the beginning, and it didn't matter if she was a killer in the past what mattered was who she was now and what Arian saw in here for all that mattered. Arian's blue eyes siphoned every ounce of energy they could to take a deep look at the alphess. Her body would raise, and she would inch closer to the woman, taking every step delicately. And as her mother would, she dragged her tongue across the woman's head and wrapped her snout around a shoulder. "Everything you've done is not wrong, it's been right the entire time." she whispered smiling. As she stepped back she lowered her head to the woman. Trying to get her to lift her head. "I haven't experienced the love of a man as you have, and I have no experienced losing him, or watching others speak bad about him. What I have witnessed is loss, I'm sure if Epiphron had not found and adopted me as she did I would have either died or ended up in the paws of the one who killed my father. I watched him as a pup get torn to pieces before my very eyes. And then, one by one I had to watch my siblings starve. You see my mother was crippled, unable to hunt for herself, after they all died the last ounce of strength my mother had brought me to the Seracia borders." "And now, I'm alone, once I was engulfed with family, them telling me even though we weren't connected by blood that we were family. My mother and father have gone to ebony, and many of my siblings I do not know where they are but I know one thing. That I am here, and while I am here I won't let you think of yourself as someone so small." Arian stepped on the dirt lightly. "Destruction, you ARE the queen of seracia. You are the most wolf of us all, we depend on you for many things, but since because of this don't think for a second you can't depend on any of us. You are our family as much as anyone else is. I'm sure Bane and Thalia would feel the same, they would look at you, and tell you that you have done all the good you can in your life. Not everything may go right, but it's the strength we have to push forward and live for those who didn't get a chance to. You may stumble and you may fall, but I'll be there to make sure you have the help to get back on your paws again." "Destruction, you are the queen of Seracia, brave and strong, elegant and smart. Swift, as any other. You are kind, you are mean when you need to be, and you are like a second mother to me or a sister. You are like the wolves I hear of in the stories of my heritage. The past is far behind us, the future is unknown. So lift your head, and we can seek a bright future together." Arian smiled at the woman, standing up as she looked at her. "And I may have connections, that could get you an audience with Bane and Thalia." Maybe that would make her feel any better? TALK LIKE THIS

Arian would do as she could to comfort the dark woman, and a faint memory would stir of a time when she was a child. When her own mother would lick her head and hold her close, telling her that all was going to be alright. The woman would give close her single orb, leaning a bit into the young woman as she spoke. Her choices hadn't necessarily been wrong...? She hadn't made mistakes...? Maybe in some sense but... As Arian stepped back Destruction would open her crimson ringed orb again, looking to the other she-wolf and lifting her large head, if only just a little. Arian would speak of her own experiences, of knowing loss. She had not walked an easy path at all... her own father murdered before her eyes, just as her own parents had been. Arian was able to make a slight comback, but just as she had lost her own adoptive family Arian's own had gone their separate ways. She wasn't sure any of them still resided in Seracia now. She would learn to that Maverick and Epiphiron were in Ebony now. She hadn't met the Ebony alpha, though she had been meaning to speak to Loccian about seeking the other packs for alliances. ...and how the girl would give her encouragement. She was their leader, they looked to her. But she never intended to keep this position. All the same... wolves of Seracia relied on her... but that didn't mean she couldn't seek them out for help as well. No wolf could bear every burden alone. But one thing she could be too sure of, at least until she spoke with Tahlia and Bane themselves, was how they would feel about all that had happened. About her becoming Queen and not trying to bring them back. It was her respect for Loccian's wishes that had kept her from doing it... though she had asked about Bane even before Tahlia was banished. Then Arian would say something that truly made the woman feel a warmth in her heart. The other would be there for her... and, something would stir within Des. She wouldn't give up on Seracia... not yet. Not while there were still wolves here who needed her and wanted her to be here. Thoughts would trail to Rohini as well. The girl, though she had not formed a very close bond with her, would come to mind as well. Loccian too. Abandoning Seracia... it was still her home. Even if it was a broken home right now broken things could be mended, and sometimes that made them better. She would be smiling just a bit as Arian neared the end of words. "Arian..." A second mother, or even a sister. The girl was kind. The last part however would catch her off-guard. "R-really?" Was it possible Arian might be able to find where they were? She would give a nod, her tone more normal now. "If you could, Arian, that would be greatly appreciated... and... thank you. You've reminded me of something very important." She would move close, wrapping her head around the back of Arian's neck. "If I may, Arian, I would like to officially adopt you as well. You are a wonderful girl, and I would be more than happy to call you my daughter." It might be strange to have so many mothers but... it meant more family. And Destruction knew, come what may, there were wolves here she wasn't going to leave behind. She wouldn't give up... for their sakes. Speech,

Arian would lean back on her haunches, as Destruction touched her and spoke a small laugh would grow in her throat. So many royal adopting her when she had royal blood herself from her heritage. It was like an odd funny law of the world, perhaps she'd grow strong and rule something herself one day. Though she didn't expect it, after all, one who got too ahead of themselves could not even know what they were doing. As she flicked her tail happily in the touch of the woman her blue eyes looked at her. "But wouldn't that make me a princess, for like the third time Destruction? I feel like everyone would be begging to think I'm doing it just because the title is fun. But I'm sure mother wouldn't mine." she laughed at the thought. "I have lots of blood related family around Ala, I can ask around if they've seen bane. I have high hopes at least one has. Vahva in Valhalla, and Hajime in Ebony." Arian explained, smiling a bit innocently. Her tail wagging back and forth, hopefully this wasn't so stupid. TALK LIKE THIS

Destruction would look to Arian, a smile on her maw. ?You?d be a princess again for sure, Arian. Perhaps it is the way of fate that keeps bringing you into such families.? Fate was a funny thing. For one thing Des never would have imagined herself in a position such as this. Never in her life... She was always the one following the orders of others. She didn?t know what it was like to care for others, to lead, to try and be responsible enough to help others through the chaos of life. Until Seracia was passed into her paws. But in Destruction?s mind... Everything moved with reason... Every death, every birth, every change in life... It all brought wolves to where they were in the present. To their destinies. She would shake her head. ?But it would take a foolish wolf indeed to think you were simply doing it for a title. You are just loved by several groups of wolves... Making up several families. I see this only as a blessing, and a reason to look to look up to you. It means that you are a good wolf, Arian.? She was surprised to hear that Arian had blood relatives still within Alacritia too. ?I certainly hope they have. It shouldn?t be hard to tell if it is him... He must be around ten or so now... And, ironic as it is, Bane and I are both missing our left eye.? The female would pause then, making a decision. ?...and, should the opportunity present itself, I?d like to meet some of your other family as well.? The queen would move, looking first to the lands and then to Arian. ?Did you need any help carrying herbs?? She wanted to spend more time with Arian... To find happiness once more. Speech,

Arian lifted her head to the queen and smiled more, the little wag of her tail apparent through the rest of her body. Destruction mentioned her being a good wolf, well she certainly hoped so. She knew she could not and would not be able to make everyone happy but she would like to believe she could. Somewhere in her heart she had a bit of fighting in her, ruthless lowdowns of fighting she never thought would exist. And if someone saw her in a fight, they'd probably be amazed how this delicate butterfly suddenly turned into a serious monster who had seen the beasts rip each other apart from the seems. "I've seen the stories of kings, and those of the peasants. If someone doesn't understand at least one side, there's no telling what would happen." Arian said as she stood up. She smiled and nodded that she wanted to meet some of her family. "If your offering then I'll be able to carry more." Arian said noting to the ones she already gathered. She then went to the patch and picked up more, before returning and smiling. There was her herb collection den not far from here. Where she kept them safe and healthy until they could use them. Of course, it was a difficult job considering they needed to keep them semi alive or at least usable until needed. It was only for a season after all. TALK LIKE THIS

The female would nod as Arian spoke. ?True enough, Arian.? The female would say softly. A wolf needed to understand their people... And they also needed to understand what it meant to be a leader and know how to go about their rule. That was another thing Destruction had been considering... Seracia... As much as change could lead to good things it could also be stressful upon the members of Seracia. But... Things needed to change. The current laws, numbers, all of it... It wasn?t right anymore... On top of that, thinking about it now, Destruction hadn?t caught Loccian?s scent in a while either. Had the previous Seracia Queen left the pack too? That, to Destruction, was both frustrating and saddening. Come what may... Whatever was left of the pack was relying on her to pick up the pieces... And she was going to try... And fight to keep them together. Destruction would smile even more brightly now. ?Of course.? The female would pick the the gathered herbs up carefully in her jaws, not wanting to damage them after all. Then she would stand by, waiting for Arian to finish gathering the new herbs that they would carry to the storage den. Speech,