Katja chose to forgo a patrol that morning to instead hunt near the pond. With winter fast approaching there was much less prey to be found as the young became more wary, but the water source tended to attract what prey there was so it was a good place to start. By the afternoon she'd gathered a rabbit, two woodland pheasants and a squirrel with the intention of sharing it out with Raisa's pups... even the irritating fox pet. She didn't know who was feeding the pups, really, with Raisa gone but she was surprised there was anyone doing it. They were much too young to be hunting on their own yet, but they weren't starving so someone must be... it was just surprising. Few of the pack's adults seemed interested in anything outside of their own small groups and without Raisa there was no one to draw them together in a cohesive unit. Since speaking with the pups, and later Sigmarr alone, she had been more and more troubled by that fact. Raisa was gone, where Katja did not know and if anyone else in the pack knew they had not volunteered the information. That much was obvious. But she had entrusted many wolves in the pack with high ranks - yet again and again Vaughan was the only wolf she saw taking the initiative to improve their situation or in any way prevent the pack's decline... and even he was more often than not scarce these days. Where was everyone? Did they disregard the responsibilities that came with the privileges of their position? Dropping the latest kill - the squirrel - with the others in her cache, Katja cast her gaze over the Ebony lands. A cold fury had been building in her of late, a feeling of being betrayed. Of having given her oath only to have it abused. But now she was starting to wonder if it was truly Raisa at fault. Perhaps the fault lay as much in her commanders. Obeying the prompting of Freya's almost-heard whisper in her heart, she raised her head and let out a sharp call to Ebony, to the high lords and ladies and would-be leaders among her packmates. She made no effort to disguise the anger in her voice - if they would avoid her simply because she was angered they were cowards and already unworthy of Raisa's trust. If they truly cared about Ebony they would answer her call instead of ignoring her out of convenience. "Speech."

It had been a long, long season. Bitterly, foolishly, Raisa had hoped for the best. But her mind had betrayed her, somehow. The queen had had such a good handle on things, or so she thought. Her mind had felt safe at last, fully hers, and no longer subject to the demons that had plagued her since the flight of her homeland. How was it then, that the children that had brought such love from within her depths, that the mate she had grown so fond of, could so easily be washed away in tides of manic depression, of fear and sadness and anger she had not suspected she was still capable of? In the dead of the night, she had begun walking. It was never with a concrete desire to leave, never the urge to flee something she did not think she could control, but merely the urge to go. And she went. For a long season she had wondered, a member among the the living dead, eating and drinking only when she felt she would perish otherwise. She had never been out of a howl's reach, that much of her had remained, but the rest... Well. The Queen's once luscious coat had dulled some, and she had amassed new scars she could not for the life of her remember how she'd obtained. Her ribs protruded proudly from her sides. It had taken her one long season to remember herself, and a chance encounter as well. Koros had come upon her in a strange fashion, and one she did not quite remember. It seemed as if she had woken up one morning, and he was by her side as if he had never left. It had been days of recuperation, of small meals and fetched water and bitter herbs, before she could tell him of all that had passed since she had claimed the eastern lands as her own. How much they had grown, how much she loved each and every wolf she had brought into the fold... And how much she missed them. Koros was the final weight she had needed to regain her balance, and now she made her way back to whence she had come. The queen had convinced herself she would be turned away at the border, convinced that the land she had fought so hard for had been claimed now by another. Still, she went. Where once she had worried the demons within her might bring harm to her children, she was now overpowered by the urge to protect them. Was it just another manic swing? ...She did not know. But it was certainly worth dying over, and part of her mind was convinced that fate alone awaited her. A howl rang out as she crossed the border for the first time in several moons. Katja, the spitfire from a faraway land, and she sounded quite upset. Months ago Raisa might have taken up a trot, but she did not have the energy today. Instead she walked, head low and spirits battered, but hardly broken. Koros padded along, loyal as only an old friend can be, to face what awaited them both. When the queen came at last upon her dark knight, she sighed, and softened. "Hello, Katja." "Talk" "You" Think

The longer the wait for someone to appear, the more Katja wished to pace impatiently. Was she to be ignored then, as some nuisance to be swept aside? But she forced herself to sit motionless as the minutes ticked by and the dark feeling inside clenched tighter. Movement finally as someone approached. Katja watched impassively. Vaughan most likely, Raisa's most loyal commander and the one Katja could respect, but it wasn't Vaughan she wanted to see, to unleash this anger... But wait. Her angular face went even more inscrutable as the figured came closer. That wasn't Vaughan's familiar form and coloring. That was... "Raisa..." The name rolled off her tongue in a sigh of breath. Relief, as the dark thing inside loosened and uncoiled, as the tension she'd been feeling so often of late dissipated like so much smoke. How close she'd been to breaking her oath to Raisa, yet she'd come just as Katja had been closest to her limit, just when she had most needed her there. Then the slightest of frowns creased her forehead. "Raisa," she repeated, this time the name spoken with more fire. "What happened to you?" For the alpha did not look to be in fair shape, and her steps dragged tiredly. Katja found herself on her feet, a coldly protective fury rising in her. Had someone dared harm her oathbound lady? Hard on its heels came a crashing guilt - she had broken her oath after all, in failing to be both sword and shield for Raisa. It was obvious that she had not shielded Raisa from anything, had in fact believed Raisa to have been careless of her responsibility. Had considered... Swallowing hard, the viking dropped into a formal bow, the same she had used when first she gave Raisa her oath. "Failed you, I have done. Had I done as my duty, never would you have faced travails alone. I accept... any punishment you see fit for failure." "Speech."

Raisa had expected the warrior to charge her, to bare her fangs and claws and rip her to shreds. In fact, the Xanilov royal had been prepared to let her. After all, who could blame the fierce woman if she felt betrayed or enraged at her Queen's absence? But instead, she received a soft response, filled with sadness and something akin to regret. "Failed you, I have done," the woman claimed. Raisa's eyes opened wide and her mouth unhinged, begging her throat for a response, any sort of explanation that might spring to her lips and bring to light the dark truth of her own infidelity. But instead she sputtered. Raisa could only shake her head from side to side, waiting for her mind to catch up to her sinking heart. "No Katja, no," she said at last. "No one here is at fault but myself. I was lost to my demons, they consumed me, and my better senses were swept away in their tide." She shuddered to think of it all, or at least what remained coherent to her. Her eyes grew wet, though she would let no tears fall. "It is with my humblest apologies that I beg for your forgiveness. It is I who have failed you." She looked down at Koros, into the piebald fox's mismatched eyes. They swam with a wealth of understanding and affection. I must seem very changed to him, she thought absently. I am hardly the wolf he left half a year ago. "Talk" "You" Think

Head lowered, eyes lowered to the ground in shame, Katja did not see Raisa's startled reaction to her words. She could only hear, and it was silence she heard from Raisa. She closed her eyes, stoically ready to accept the punishment Raisa was no doubt mulling over. But Raisa's words, when they came, were not the words of an leader in judgement over an underling. Her head came back up and she straightened from her bow with disbelief evident on her face. "No, Raisa," she argued. "Oathbound to your protection am I, no matter where the danger does come from. No effort made I to seek you out, to assist you. If the gods had not brought you back..." she shook her head, unable to express the depth of her failure. She took a handful of steps closer to Raisa, then did something entirely foreign to the coldly calculating viking - she dropped her muzzle over Raisa's neck, her breath huffing out on a sigh as she hugged her comfortingly. "Argue over fault until Ragnarok we could, but it would do no good. Gods be praised, returned safely you have, and that be all that matters now." "Speech."